Tuesday October 12th

12:15pm

I've been messing around with my new phone lately. It's vair handy. Like for calling your mates late at night so your vati doesn't have a nervy b at 1 am. Or for getting your mates to come over. Pour example: last weekend I wanted Rosie to come over, but her parents were finally home, and they didn't want her going out. So I texted her really depressing things for her to show her mom.

I wrote things like "I'm so lonely, my parents aren't home, my boyfriend doesn't even want to snog me, maybe I deserve this."

Or "My cat is the only one who cares, all my mates are ignoring me."

But what I really think got her was when I turned "Amazing Grace" into a song about my suicide.

20 minutes later

Speaking of boyfriends, I finally found out why Robby wouldn't snog me.

Because of "religious reasons".

Seriously.

He told me that pre-marital anything is forbidden where he's staying. And he really wants to respect his host family.

He's coming back soon, but I'm worried he's going to keep up with his new religion.

It's the same thing with Tom, but at least he's still being romantic and cute with Jas.

5 minutes later

Oh mon Dieu. Did I just admit that Hunky and Poe are cute together?

I must be suffering from cabin fever. It's a good thing I'm going back to school Thursday.

2 minutes later

Again, I go back to school in the middle of the week. It's all Slim's fault, she said that she wanted to make sure I'm cured. Like she actually cares.

1:00pm

Walking to work

Running

I'm not even running because I'm late, I'm running because of Libby and Angus.

I walked downstairs and saw Libby feeding mutti's new lotion to Angus. Being the vair considerate daughter I am, I took it away from them. They both stopped for a few seconds, looked at me and attacked me. It was like they were some gang and I was just walking casually down a dark alley in the slums. Minding my own business.

Working has become easier, because I'm stuck in the back. Mrs. Jennings is worried I'll contaminate the pregnant and fat women so she has me sorting vegetables. Jas and her even made up a song for it. I wish I could remember it, but whenever they start singing, I jump in the nearest veggie bin.

15 minutes later

Just got to the shop

"Dive! Dive! Dive!"

What! Why? Oww! Someone's throwing cucumbers at me!

30 seconds later

Okay…it stopped.

"Lt. Nicolsson, admit your defeat now or forever hold your peace!"

"I'm not a lieutenant…okay! Stop throwing things at me!"

Mabs (as Matt) stood up from behind a crate dressed in a soldier's uniform that was way too small for her. "State your business."

I said, "I'm here to work…"

Then Edward(as Erica) popped up next to her in one of those provocative soldier outfits mutti and her mates wear to costume parties.

Erica said, "A likely story!"

Then Sven(as Cleopatra) stood up behind both of them aimed his potato gun at me and fired off another cucumber.

I said, "Bloody hell, Cleopatra! What is wrong with you?"

Cleopatra just shrugged, and hid behind the crate again.

"Seriously, what are you doing?"

I hate being the butt of a joke.

Jas(who was dressed in her work uniform, a very unflattering smock) said, "Since you've been MIA, Rosi-I Mean Ron showed us these video games of her dad's. They involve stragetizing, and fighting, and if you're lucky, agriculture!"

I said, "First of all, Jas, I haven't been MIA. I've been in my house. Stuck there. With no frien-"

Jas said, "You've had Davina."

I tried not to blush. "He's not MINE, we were just both ironically sick, and had to share the same tutor. Besides, he went back to school last week. So I've been in my house. Stuck there. With no friends. For a week."

At this point, everyone stood up from their post.

I said, "Wait, Davina, what are you doing in the fridge?"

Davina said, "Standing my ground, protecting from intruders."

Is this really my life?

I said, "Jas, don't we have to work?"

Jas said, "Mrs. Jennings called and said she was take a mental health day, so we didn't have to come in. We have the whole day to ourselves."

Ron said, "Which is why we're here. To tell you that you're on the red team, which consists of you, Jas, Mabs, Ellen(as Earl), Edward, and Davina, Cleopatra, Declan(as Donna) and I are the blue team. You guys get the North side of the park, and we get the South side. The fight begins in 1 hour. Anything goes. "And she winked.

Ellen(Earl) said, "Well, umm…what if like…you don't have a c-compass? Or know like the sides of the you know earth?"

Davina said, "It's simple, the sun always faces South."

Jas looked terrified. "What? Do you not pay attention at all?"

Davina looked at her confused, "Nope."

Edward(Erica) grabbed Jas and said, "C'mon Jas, we have a lot of planning to do."

1:00pm

Basement of Jenning's Grocery

I didn't know this place had a basement. They have a huge round table set up with maps, and charts set up around the room.

Erica sat at the head of the table, and the rest of the red team filled in the other seats.

Ron said, "What's our plan, Captain Crunch?"

Edward said , "To take down the blue team."

Mabs said, "Now, if you'd all open your pamphlets, and turn to page 11, we can begin."

I opened the pamphlet, it was full of stick figures drawn in crayon.

I said, "Wait…Mabs, Eddie…why aren't you two in drag?"

Edward blushed. "Well...the school was getting really mad at us…so Donna, Davina, and I had to quit it…I wasn't supposed to say anything…but there's no other way to explain why."

I said, "I knew it! Dave's been acting strange around me, and doesn't stay around any longer than he has to for our classes! Ha! I won! Where is their base? I have to go tell him!"

Edward said, "No, Gee! You can't!"

I was already have way out the door at this point. "Why not?"

"Because…truth is…he knows that you haven't been in drag around the homosexualist. He said he didn't want to ruin the game, because he liked having an excuse to be around you. Like asking make-up tips, and techniques for shaving."

Ron said, "Awwwww…."

I said, "How long have you guys been out of drag?"

"About two weeks."

"How long as he known that I haven't always been in drag?"

"I'm not sure, but I know he saw you and Masimo together, I guess since then."

"Oh…"