Drunk Sam and Jo discuss some interesting issues.
She hit the back of her head with the bar.
"Ouch," Jo mumbled, stumbling back to her spot next to Sam on the dirty floor. She couldn't remember why she wanted to stand up in the first place, so it was fine.
"So..." Sam leaned onto her, seriously invading her living space. She used the opportunity to steal the bottle of vodka he had been treasuring and take a sip. He giggled drunkenly and continued, "the last time I got laid, it was with a werewolf," he stopped until she was done roaring with laughter, "... a female werewolf, anyway. I had to kill her afterwards."
"I hope you did good," Jo said with the straighest of faces, "you know, before."
Sam actually stopped to think for some minutes.
"I did", he concluded. He reached back for the bottle. "Beat that."
Jo pursed her lips in concentration. Soon, there was a naughty smile.
"I..." she started, allowing herself a dramatic pause, "lost my virginity to Gordon Walker." She laid her hand on Sam's strong shoulder, partly to emphasize the following point, partly to keep her balance, "it sucked."
"Gordon", Sam muttered to himself. "OK," he announced, "you win."
Jo excitedly held the almost empty bottle Sam offered as a bad excuse for a trophy. She cleared her throat for her upcoming speech.
"I wanna dedicate this much deserved... thing to all the men out there who couldn't please a woman if their lives depended on it. I've got three words for you", she took another sip from the bottle, "read COSMO."
"That's two words, Jo," Sam interrupted.
"Mmm... What about "read COSMO, you morons?" she asked.
"That's four words," he argued.
"Whatever, Math boy," Jo rolled her eyes, "whatever."