A/N I'm such a loser I reread the last chapter 18 and I like was cracking up at myself. I'm vair hilariousment. Okie go read.
Friday, October 29th
Walking home, thinking thoughtful thoughts
5:00pm
Had to stay late after school to catch up on my classes.
None of my mates are around, and Angus' stomach is digesting my phone so I can't call them.
Life sucks.
1 minute later
It happened like this, I took the battery out after dropping the phone in a puddle. Jas told me that you were supposed to put it in noodles if you drop it in water and it dries it all out and makes it work. Angus thought it was food, and ate the phone. And then he got bored with the thing and left it on my pillow. Now I am phoneless, friendless, and only speaking to Gordy at the moment.
2 minutes later
That is one of the many things that have happened in the past few weeks. I'm very sorry my little chumbly wumblies, if I haven't mentioned that yet. I have been really missing in action this time. And I mean a lot of action. I'm quite proud of myself. I've seen the sights, snog the snoggers, and just received a high mark on my French exam. Take that Hawkeye!
Anyway, I feel I should give you a little bit of an update as to what has happened.
You know how we had our teams and strategies planned out? After Edward told me about Dave not being in drag, and knowing about me being not in drag, and oh bugger this is confusing. I still haven't talked to Dave yet about it. Is that bad? I mean I have my Sex God Boyfriend, Robbie, who came back a few days ago, and I told him that my drag was for a women's studies class I was taking outside of school (hahahahahahaha could you imagine me doing extra work? Woo. That is a good one) and he bought it. Poor guy.
5 minutes later
Dave still comes around for advice, which is quite nice, and I still secretly enjoy it.
I'm sort of fearful of his impending transvestiteness in the future.
30 seconds later
I have only snogged him twice in the time I've been away from you lovely readers.
2 minutes later
I thought this made me a lesbian, so I consulted Jas and she said technically it makes mea lezzy, because Dave was dressed as a female, but I told her that I was dressed as a male, and then she started flipping through her pocket bible that Tom gave her (religious host family, remember?) and I took it and through it out a window and she got mad so I gave her a hug, and told her I loved her. Once I let go she told me she needed to go do something and when I asked what she said, "I need to go sanitize myself". Honestly, it's the 20th century, aren't we over these prejudices?
4 minutes later
Did I mention how the other day I was hit on by a woman? It was very traumatizing. Almost as bad as when Dave joined Uncle Eddy and my Vati in a rendition of "Take a Chance on me". Almost.
I was just walking along like I am now, and this girl came up to me and started doing all the things that I would do if I was flirting with someone. (I.e. batty eyelashes, winking, rolling of the skirt, sticky out chest, the whole 5 yards.) I was too embarrassed for myself, or for her I've yet to determine, so I ducked my head into my coat and started mumbling about a date with the queen.
10 minutes later
Had to take a moment to compose myself, it is still hard for me to relive. Let's see, what else do I need to tell you? Red team, which was made of me and others but I'm really the only one who matters, won. We found their headquarters almost two days into the game, it was in Jas' garden, vair creatif. Not. After we found out all of their plans, and roughed up Jas' tomato plants a tad, they admitted defeat.
Jas only started talking to me yesterday. She says because I was Lieutenant that it was my entire fault that she won't be able to enter her plant in the veggie festival.
1 minute later
Did I mention I snogged Dave the Laugh and am still dating Robbie and I have no bloody idea what I'm going to do? That has been on my mind quite a lot. It started like this. We were walking home from school, he came to meet me and walk me home, as he has been doing since we went back. We were walking along, acting just as mates do, and shoving each other into things that had leaves. I may have still been a bit delirious, and not in tip-top shape medical wise, because I mistook Dave for Robbie. We got to number four on the snogging scale. A kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath.
30 seconds later
With a little bit of number 5. Open mouths.
5 seconds later
What is this, an interrogation? I'm not a criminal! Fine, fine, I admit it we got to a number 6. And that's all I swear, your officer.
1 minute later
What I won't admit is to how far we got the second time.
6 minutes later
That is between his hands and mine. And the dark room we were in. But this is a story for later times for I am quickly approaching my home and I can already hear shouting. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called the child services by now, this just shows how little they care for other people.
Walking up sidewalk
Next time they're screaming because they're on fire or there is a burglar I won't help them. When the policeman asks me while I'll say "I was teaching them a lesson".
Opening the door
All I hear is, "duck!" So I instinctively lifted my hands to catch it.
It was a bloody dinner plate.
1 minute later
Mutti and vati were fighting.
I asked, "Why are you two fighting?"
Vati looked at me and said, "Georgia will you please tell your mother that she is wrong."
I looked at her and smiled sweetly, "mutti, badgerman said you are fat." And I walked up to my room.
I didn't turn around but I think I heard mutti slap vati. I hope I'm not to blame for their divorce.
Finally in bed after a long day of being me
It would make a lot of sense if vati was actually part badger, at least I would know where all this hair came from. Maybe that's why Robbie is so attracted to me, because he likes nature so much and I'm a walking creature. Does that mean he's into beastie-whatsit?
6:15pm
I really hope not, because then that means I'll never be able to shave.
Is that a plus or a bonus?
30 seconds later
I mean minus, oof why am I so tired?
Maybe I'll just take a little bit of a snoozer, and finish my homework later.
2:00am
I feel very damp.
2 minutes later
I decided to move and look for what was making me damp. Someone must have opened my window and it rained. Now my entire room is soaked. Merde.
2:30am
I went to look for vati since he deals with these things for the most part, but he's not in their room so I got a very lovely(not) surprise by finding mutti in her nighty with her nunga-nungas falling out.
The conversation went something like,
Me: Mutti my room is soaked
Mutti: Get a towel
Me: Mutti my room is underwater, Angus is in there and he is about to drown
Mutti: Good.
The lack of care people show around here is appalling. Just because Angus doesn't have a chest the size of a famous mountain that would act as a floating device doesn't mean he deserves to drown.
10 minutes later
Found vati dearest outside, sleeping in the dog house we had set up for Angus when we first got him. He didn't take much of a liking to it.
After my laughing fit was over, I explained to him what happened, and you wouldn't believe he actually cared! I would've gotten down on my knees and thanked the gods but the ground was still wet.
4:00am
They said they would deal with it in the morning, so now I'm staying in Libby's room.
1 minute later
Do you know how hard it is to sleep next to a decapitated stuffed lamb? It wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't a circle in the middle of her floor. She definitely has to be practicing some type of ritual here, you cannot convince me otherwise.
If I survive the night I might have to send Satan a gift basket.
A/N: Shout out to my boyfriend for reading this thing and not knowing much about the book series. I love you baby.