A Woman with a Plan
AN: This is an AU where Sam has always been Doctor Samantha Carter. Takes place during Season Six.
It was a combination of things that brought them to 'the moment', Sam recalled years later.
In Sam's mind, 'the moment' wasn't her wedding, or their first date, or even the birth of their first child. No, 'the moment' was the one where Jack finally popped the question. It hadn't been grand or rehearsed, and that's what made it special.
'The moment' was the one she had been waiting on since, oh probably her second date with the man. But given his difficulty with relationships, including one failed marriage and the amount of time he spent MIA or presumed dead, Sam had originally planned for it take two years for them to reach the point of getting engaged, and two more before they started their family.
When the two year mark came and went, most people on the base figured that Doctor Samantha Carter and Colonel Jack O'Neill had agreed never to take that step into marriage, choosing to just enjoy living together instead.
In reality, Sam had discovered she was just going to have to play a waiting game with Jack. Things hadn't progressed quite as fast as she had thought, but she was willing to wait. Considering it had taken more then two years and one really bad mission for Jack and Sam to move in together, Sam wasn't going to let the expectations of others set the pace of their relationship.
So the plan of two years to marriage and two more to children ended up becoming six years to their first child.
And yet both parents were not there to celebrate the happy moment.
/Flashback/
When Grace Elizabeth Carter-O'Neill made her appearance in the world late one evening, her father was not there to hear her first cries.
Instead, Grace's father was being tortured by the worst enemy Earth had ever seen- the Goa'uld- not even knowing that he had fathered another child, much less that she had her father's lungs when it came to announcing her presence.
"She's gorgeous Sam," Doctor Janet Fraiser praised as she handed the exhausted mother her daughter for the first time.
"She looks like Jack," Sam whispered as she held Grace for the first time. "Have they heard anything?" she asked.
Janet shook her head. Truthfully, there had been news, but none of it was good enough to consider passing along to Sam, she had suffered enough stress that Janet refused to mar this happy moment with bad news.
She had been the one to comfort Sam when Jack had made the continuation of their relationship conditional on them not having any kids.
And she had been that same rock the day Sam found out she was part of that small percentage for which birth control pills failed. Clueless as to how to tell Jack, Janet knew Sam had broached the subject one more time with him before taking a leave of absence from the SGC to work on Earth's first large spaceship, the X-303. As far as Sam and Janet knew, no one suspected the real reason for her decision was to hide a pregnancy that Jack would want no part in.
/End Flashback/
During the time she had been away from the SGC, at Area 51, Sam had still been in regular contact with the SGC. She knew everything that went on and had daily consultations with the gate technicians over problems with the gate.
Sam hadn't come to the SGC at all, which considering she was a scientists and not a part of the military, was something she could get away with. She could truly make her own demands and if the SGC didn't meet them, she could and would find work elsewhere. Even when Daniel was dying, Sam hadn't come, using the thunderstorms which had kept the planes grounded for several days as the excuse. She had called and talked to Daniel.
In fact, the only reason that Janet delivered her baby at all instead of her doctor back at Area 51 was because Jack O'Neill and SG-1 weren't supposed to have been on the base.
Sam wasn't sure how General Hammond thought she would be able to 'sneak' onto the base at seven and a half months pregnant, much less convince every single person working there not to say anything to Colonel Jack O'Neill or the rest of SG-1 about it.
By the time SG-1 returned, that was the least of Sam's or anyone else's worries though.
/Flashback/
Sam knew something was seriously wrong when General Hammond called her in his office- and Janet was already there. There had been an SF posted at the door of her lab all day, supposedly to help her out, but Sam had a feeling that the young airman was really under orders to keep tabs on her.
"Sam, we need you to talk to Jack," General George Hammond began.
"No," Sam said, not even letting him finish.
"Sam," Janet pleaded. "He's sick and he's going to die unless you talk him into taking a Tok'ra symbiote."
"How did he get sick in Antarctica?" Sam asked in disbelief. "And how is everyone else okay?"
"Short version? There was an Ancient frozen down there. Somehow a virus was released that was slowly killing everyone. She was able to heal people. After healing everyone but Colonel O'Neill she died. We don't know if the Tok'ra can help him, but it's his only chance," Janet explained. "He either takes the symbiote or he dies."
"No," Sam repeated.
"Doctor Fraiser, give us a minute please," General Hammond requested.
He waited until Janet had left the room to continue. "Sam, I know he hurt you, badly, but you need to ask yourself if you could live with him dying because you didn't ask him to live. And if that doesn't do it, ask yourself if you could look at your child for the rest of your life and know that you played some small part in his father's death."
"You're blackmailing me," Sam stated.
"Yes," George agreed with a shrug. "Is it working?"
"Yes," Sam admitted.
"Good."
Sam did as the General had asked of her, realizing just how out of it Jack was when he didn't realize how pregnant she was. But he did agree to take the symbiote in the end.
/End Flashback/
He had been gone for a month when someone let it slip that he had up and walked out of the Tok'ra base. Well him and his symbiote Kanan.
That slip of the tongue had been accompanied by Sam promptly going into labor.
Ten hours later, Grace had been born.
And Sam had gone right back to work. Well not really work, but she had worked with Jonas Quinn and Teal'c going through the mission reports, trying to figure out where they might have gone. It was the perfect job for Sam because she could easily take care of Grace while she went through the files.
It took several more days for Jack to arrive back at the SGC and even when he did, the torture he had endured was not obvious on his body, but it was clearly evident in his spirit.
His usual spirit of sarcasm and defiance had been replaced with an attitude that largely said 'Get out of my way' and 'Don't touch me'. It was like he had been broken.
Once Janet got Jack settled in the infirmary, SG-1 was permitted to see him. Never having been part of that team even though she was close friends with all of them, except Jonas, Sam paced in the hallway waiting to see if her presence was requested by her longtime boyfriend.
/Flashback/
Jonas had been the first to emerge from the room. "He wants to see you Doctor Carter," he informed her.
Sam nodded and went into the room. They were left alone after Teal'c and Janet filed out. Sam and Jack exchanged the required pleasantries, the fact that they hadn't really spoken to each other in months seemingly forgotten.
Sam watched as he grew tired, slowly drifting off towards sleep while holding on to her hand like it was a lifeline. When she went to unclasp his hand from her's, he woke up with a start.
"Stay," he begged. "I can't go through this without you here."
Sam swallowed. She really didn't want to spend the night in the infirmary and leave her daughter somewhere else, with someone else. And she couldn't bring Grace into the infirmary because she didn't want Jack finding out about their daughter yet. Janet had backed her up saying the revelation would be too much stress on Jack's system.
"I need to get something to eat," Sam claimed, using the first excuse that came to mind. "And then I'll come back. Can I get you something?" she asked. "Besides cake," she clarified with a smile as he opened his mouth.
"No, just you," Jack responded.
It took Sam longer then she had planned to find Teal'c and ask him to watch Grace for the night. Sam couldn't understand his excitement at the idea of spending a sleepless night looking after an infant, but hoped that the job wouldn't lose its appeal after just one night.
Something told her that this thing with Jack would be a several night thing.
/End Flashback/
Even now, years later, Sam couldn't remember much about the week after Jack's return. She spent her first few nights sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair holding onto Jack's hand. After Jack was through the worst of the withdrawal, Janet permitted them to have some privacy by assigning Jack to one of the VIP rooms.
Still feeling guilty for the fact it had been her request that had gotten Jack into this position in the first place, Sam didn't even knock before creeping into his room and crawling into bed with him. For the next three nights, Sam played giant teddy bear for a man who kept her awake with nightmares he refused to talk about.
In total, Sam figured she had gotten a total of ten hours of sleep during that week as Grace required her attention during the day. After the third night, Sam approached Janet about Jack's nightmares.
/Flashback/
"Honestly, I'm not surprised that he's having them. If we compare this to what he went through after Iraq, it's probably going to get worse before it gets better," Janet admitted.
"Great."
"He's going to get angry Sam, and even more withdrawn. The fact that he could be facing a forced medical retirement isn't going to help things any either," Janet added.
"Is there anything else you want to tell me before we get to the bad news?" Sam asked sarcastically. "Because this all sounds really great so far."
"I wish I had good new Sam. Unfortunately the rest of what was in his file probably isn't going to make you very happy either. The thing that pulled him out of that downward spiral? It was Sarah and Charlie, Sam."
"No," Sam said, already able to see where this was going.
"I'm not asking for anything right now Sam, I'm just throwing it out there," Janet assured her.
"No," Sam repeated before quickly exiting the room. There was no way she was letting her daughter anywhere near Jack right now. He hadn't wanted her in the first place and who knew what kind of response he would have when he found out that she was his daughter.
/End Flashback/
The next month was hell for anyone who had to deal with Jack O'Neill. He was constantly slipping up on the SFs assigned to keep track of him. He didn't realize that the SFs were there not to keep track of him because no one trusted him, but because they were to keep him away from wherever Grace happened to be in that instant.
Unfortunately, the SGC was only so big, so by the time Jack O'Neill had actually regained his strength at the end of that month, he had already run into Grace several times, even occasionally when she was with Sam.
But in his desire to stay away from kids, he quickly turned and went in the other direction, not taking the time to closely examine the child.
Until the day when she was shoved into his arms.
/Flashback/
Sam had left Grace with a nurse who was supposed to be feeding her a bottle while Sam worked on fixing an urgent problem with the gate.
But when a team returned with casualties and under fire, the nurse was pressed into duty. She hurriedly pressed Grace into the closest pair of available arms.
"Take her sir," she insisted as she handed Grace over, complete with bottle and burp rag.
"I don't do babies," Jack grumped, though he accepted the child anyway and began looking for the nearest person to pawn her off on.
It didn't take Jack long.
"I'll take her Jack," Sam offered as she walked in the infirmary and saw just who was holding her daughter.
"Thanks Sam," Jack said as he hurriedly made the transfer.
Sam breathed a sigh of relief as Jack rushed from the infirmary. One potential crisis has been avoided.
/End Flashback/
Originally, Sam had planned to not be at the SGC very long.
A week at the most.
So as month number three came and went, Sam realized she had been sucked back into the style of life that occurred at the SGC. Grudgingly, she would admit that she really didn't mind it, other then the game she was playing to keep Jack from figuring out just who Grace's mother and father were.
Which was only getting harder all the time.
/Flashback/
"Doctor Carter, I don't think you understand the effect this could have on Colonel O'Neill," Doctor McKenzie insisted.
"For the last time Doctor. I. Don't. Care."
"Sam," Janet injected. "All we want to do is put the Colonel in a situation where he is forced to interact with Grace."
"You can't ask me to do that. He's still having flashbacks," Sam reminded them. "The other day he had me in a choke hold because I startled him in my lab. How can you promise me that my daughter would be safe?"
McKenzie looked like he was willing to admit defeat, but Janet pushed on.
"Because he never, ever laid a hand on Charlie after the POW incident in Iraq," Janet explained. "You could be there if that would make you feel better," she suggested.
"How do you know that?" Sam demanded.
"I talked to his wife," Janet admitted.
Sam glared at Janet.
"I wasn't going to let you anywhere near him, especially at night, if I thought he would put you in danger. Unfortunately, the military doesn't ask questions about how you and your spouse react to these types of situations. She assured me that the Colonel never laid a hand on her or Charlie. The occasional choke hold and such, but nothing that ever left a bruise. And before you ask, I don't think she was lying," Janet explained.
Realizing that this was on battle she wasn't going to win, Sam conceded defeat. "Okay. You can use Grace in whatever 'therapy' it is you want to try on him, on two conditions. One, Teal'c stays with Jack at all times while Grace is in the room. He's the only one capable of keeping Jack in check if he does have a flashback."
"Agreed," McKenzie assured her.
"And two, Jack isn't told who Grace's parents are."
"Sam," Janet tried to argue.
"No. I will tell him when the time comes or if he asks directly if he is Grace's father, but you both told me a week ago that he wasn't ready to find out," Sam demanded.
"Fine," Janet relented.
/End Flashback/
Sam wasn't sure if Jack had ever questioned who Grace's parents were. She did know that holding Grace had brought on a couple of flashbacks, but Teal'c had always described them as being 'good' memories. Ones of when Charlie was alive and things had been good in Jack O'Neill's life. Considering how Charlie had died, it had always surprised Sam that holding a girl with the exact same color eyes as Charlie and his father hadn't brought on a flashback of the day of Charlie's death. That particular incident had been the cause of more then one nightmare since Jack and Sam had started sleeping together.
Even though Sam didn't like the particular way this kind of 'therapy' was happening, she did have to admit it was working. Jack had started to settle back into his normal routine, which included coming into her lab to bother her. Of course, that meant that Grace could no longer be a permanent fixture in her lab. Jack wasn't so out of it that he couldn't put a few things together and figure out who Grace's mom was.
And while figuring out who her mom was would be okay, Jack's reaction was what Sam worried about. She figured it could go one of two ways. He could either think that Grace wasn't his daughter, in which case he would hate Sam, or he could believe that Grace was his daughter, and could end up hating Grace.
Sam didn't know which one would be better.
Or which one would be worse.
And Sam still wasn't sure how or when she was going to tell Jack that he was once more a father.
In the end, it was actually a combination of things that led to Jack discovering that he had a daughter.
/Flashback/
Jack had been the regular, for lack of a better word, babysitter for Grace for over a month before it dawned on him.
He had no idea whose baby he had been borrowing for the last month. Sure he knew her name was Grace, but other then her first name and the fact that her parents hardly ever dressed her in the normal clothing colors for a girl, like pink or purple, Jack knew nothing about the little girl who had been entrusted to his care.
"Teal'c, where did you get Grace from? You didn't let Thor beam her away from somewhere did you?" Jack finally asked curiously, cradling the girl in his arms as he fed her a bottle.
"I did not O'Neill."
"Well then, where did she come from?" Jack demanded. "Do her parents work at the SGC? I can't imagine many who would have trusted an alien and a recently returned POW with their daughter."
"I believe you to be wrong O'Neill. Many in this facility would have volunteered their children if they had been informed of the need," Teal'c claimed.
"But they didn't," Jack reminded him. "So why would a mother or father let me watch their child? Who did Fraiser or McKenzie convince to let them use Grace for 'therapy'?"
"I believe it was a matter of convenience for the parents O'Neill. Because Grace is at the SGC, she easily accessible throughout the day," Teal'c explained.
"Teal'c, quit avoiding the question. Who are Grace's parents?" Jack demanded.
"Does it matter Colonel?" Janet asked as she stepped in and interrupted. "We figured out a way to help you, using the exact same strategy that the doctors said worked the last time. It is working, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is. It took a lot longer for me to feel… right again when I came back from Iraq. Mostly because they kept me away from Charlie and Sarah for so long," Jack admitted, looking at Grace who was still happily sucking down a bottle.
"Good. Feel like you're up facing McKenzie for your psych eval yet?" Janet asked.
Jack thought about it, while he studied the child in his arms. He had had a lot of time to think since his return from being tortured, and he had realized something. Loosing Charlie had been the hardest thing he had been through in his life, something he never wanted to go through again.
But he also realized that the reason he kept doing what he was doing was for the kids, for their future. He also realized that he had been way too adamant about not wanting more kids, especially kids with Sam. There was no doubt in his mind that Sam would make an amazing mom.
If she was willing to put up with him, even after his insistence that he didn't want kids, through his recovery after Baal, and just his general sarcastic attitude, a couple of kids shouldn't be a problem.
"Yeah," he finally said. "I think I am. I need to talk to Sam first though, and then do you think you could introduce me to Grace's mom or dad? I'd really like to thank them for trusting me with Grace."
"I'll see what I can do sir," Janet said as Jack finished feeding Grace and burping her.
"Right now I need to give her a check up. If you come back in about an hour, I'll see what I can do about getting you an introduction to her mom," Janet offered.
"Good, I'd like to offer to babysit for her parents some time. I can remember Charlie being little and having trouble finding a babysitter for him, especially overnight. It's the least I can do for someone who trusted me with their child," Jack explained.
"Is someone having a change of heart about having kids Colonel?" Janet asked with a knowing smile.
Jack nodded before he ducked out of the room, calling back over his shoulder, "Yeah I am, I just hope Sam forgives me."
Jack took his time going to Sam's lab, trying to compose what he wanted to say in his mind before he got there.
He entered the lab and took up his usual spot on a stool. "Do you have time to talk?" he asked, interrupting Sam's work on the computer. "Actually I need you to listen," he said changing his mind and continuing to speak before she had the chance to interrupt him and kick him out, both of which she was more then capable of doing.
"I need to apologize and then tell you something," he began. "I've been a total and complete jerk for the past couple years and I'm sorry for that. I have no idea why you stuck with me through the way I acted and totally understand why you took the chance to get away from me about a year ago. I don't blame you for leaving. I didn't deserve you then and still don't. But I'm hoping you'll give me another chance."
Sam cut him off. "What do you think about kids? Us having kids?" she clarified.
"I'm getting there," Jack explained. "Just let me finish," he requested. "I've had a lot of time to think lately and in the process I've fallen in love with this girl. She's cute and beautiful and everything I realized I was missing in my life."
"Jack?" Sam asked worriedly, a feeling of jealously beginning to well up inside of her.
"Don't worry; I don't think she feels the same way Sam. I'm hoping that her parents will let me be an uncle to her as she grows up, at the least I'd like you meet her. I figure it's the least I could do considering she made me realize how much I missed having kids of my own in my life. I want kids of my own again Sam. And I want them with you," Jack finished and now waited for Sam's response.
"You've lost me Jack. Who helped you figure this out?" Sam asked confused as to who could have helped him figure all of this out during the past few months when he hadn't even been permitted to leave the base.
Jack smiled. "A little girl named Grace. Grace Elizabeth. I think I owe her parents a lifetime of nights worth of babysitting considering it's probably my fault that she doesn't sleep through the night. Did I mention that she's only a few months old and is as cute as button?"
Sam smiled for the first time since Jack had started speaking and opened her mouth to respond, only to be cut off by the phone. "I need to get that," Sam said as she reached for the phone.
"I'll be in the infirmary when you're done," Jack said, leaning over to give her a kiss.
The first kiss he had given her in over a year.
Within minutes Sam was rushing to the infirmary, having just gotten off the phone with Janet who revealed that Sam was either going to have to do some fast talking or she needed to tell Jack that he had a daughter.
Sam was going with the latter. She walked into the room that had become Grace's and stopped in the doorway.
Jack O'Neill was sitting in a rocking chair and talking to their daughter. She could just barely hear what he was saying.
"I bet you take after your mom because you're so pretty. Your dad is going to have to chase the boys away with a shot gun when you get older," he said while looking at the girl. He was rocking back and forth in an attempt to lull her to sleep.
"You know," Sam said from her spot in the doorway, "If you didn't rock her all the time, I bet Grace would sleep through the night and her parents would be a lot happier with you."
"Yeah, well I'm still waiting to meet her parents. Depending on who they are, then maybe I'll apologize," Jack said, looking up at Sam with a smirk on his face.
"About that," Sam began, "I need to tell you something and I need you to promise me that it won't change things between us, that you won't change your mind about what you said earlier."
"What I said earlier?"
"About wanting kids and giving us a second chance," Sam responded.
Jack nodded.
Sam took a deep breath. "The last time we talked, almost a year ago, about having kids, and you pretty much put your foot down and said it wasn't going to happen, I had already made up my mind. I was going to have children of my own, even if that meant doing it all by myself as a single parent."
"You won't be doing it alone Sam. I'll be there the whole way with you when we have kids of out own," Jack broke in.
"What if I already have a child Jack? Would you still love that child?" Sam questioned.
"Yes," Jack assured her. "But where and when did you get a child from? Why haven't I seen the child yet?" Jack demanded.
"She's been around," Sam explained with a wave of her hand.
Jack was silent now, studying his hands. "I love you Sam so lay it all out for me. No more lying and hiding the truth from each other," Jack demanded.
Sam blinked and blew out a big breath as she dropped into the chair she had maneuvered so that she was sitting across from Jack. She didn't even know where to start.
"Sam, I'm not mad at you for having another relationship. I had no claim to you after you we pretty much broke up a year ago. I might be jealous, but I'm not mad at you," Jack assured Sam.
Sam looked at him in disbelief. "If you honestly think that I would do something like that Jack O'Neill, you don't know me very well at all!" Sam exclaimed.
"Well then what am I supposed to think?" Jack demanded.
"Anything but that!" Sam yelled.
The yelling had not only attracted the attention of Teal'c but had interrupted Grace's nap.
"You will cease this argument right now," Teal'c ordered, sweeping in to take Grace from Jack. "It is not to the benefit of your daughter for either of you to upset her by arguing."
"Teal'c," Sam said, trying to prevent him from saying any more.
"Daughter? Grace is your daughter?" Jack asked, turning to look at Sam for confirmation.
"Yes, Grace is our daughter," Sam responded.
"Did you know you were pregnant the last time we talked?" Jack demanded, now standing up and beginning to pace.
"Yes," Sam said reluctantly.
"And you didn't tell me?"
"You weren't exactly very open to the idea of having children, and there was no way I was going to bring a child into that kind of relationship," Sam insisted.
"Does it matter O'Neill and Doctor Carter what has happened in the past?" Teal'c injected. "You have the opportunity to be together now. There is no greater gift in all of the universe then to have a child O'Neill. If you do not take advantage of this opportunity, then you are not the man I believed you to be O'Neill."
Sam and Jack were silent now.
"Can I hold her?" Jack finally asked, holding out his arms to Teal'c.
Grudgingly, Teal'c handed Grace to Jack. He and Sam watched as Jack looked at the girl with a new perspective.
"Teal'c right Sam. I… I don't deserve you or even Grace for that matter, but I'm going to take full advantage of having the both of you. Do you think there's a chance you could see yourself building a future with me?" Jack asked.
Sam gaped at him. "Jack… are you asking me to marry you?"
Jack nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess I am," he said hesitantly. "Will you? Someday?" he asked.
Sam broke into a grin. "With an offer like that, I guess I will."
Teal'c smiled and left the happy couple to finish their discussion.
/End Flashback/
It had only taken a few weeks for Sam and Jack to make plans to tie the knot. She wasn't going to let him get away now that she had him. It hadn't taken long for them to settle into life together, moving into Jack's house permanently.
Even now, Sam looked back at her relationship with Jack and saw the day he proposed as the real turning point in their relationship. That day, they put everything that had happened before behind them, including her plan of how their future would go, and became something more, something better, and that something was what they enjoyed for many years in the future.