Thank you so much everyone for reading and commenting! I didn't expect anyone to review so soon! I apologies for my slow updating: I am still trying to figure out the other (non-reading) side of this site operates. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well- even though the story has not quite gotten up to running speed just yet. Anyway, I do not own Merlin!
The Court Physician-Chapter 2
'Thankful' was the only word Merlin could find to describe his emotion when Arthur ordered the construction of Gaius's pyre be started in the front courtyard. It was an honor, one usually reserved for direct descendants of the crown (or the most venomous criminals when a point was to be made to the rest of the citizens.) Gaius's body would leave this land in a place worthy of a king, and Merlin could not help but feel that that is as is should be. After the knights marched dutifully out to collect wood and undertake their grim orders Merlin fixed Arthur with a look of confusion.
When a glare in the young man's direction did not deter the gaze Arthur groaned and rolled his eyes. "Oh, what Merlin?"
"Nothing!" He answered quickly shaking his head enthusiastically. "It's just-" He began, halting the kings progress toward the large wooden doors. "Thank you…is all."
Arthur nodded his head succinctly. "The man saved my life-and the lives of those whom I care about most- more times than I can recount. He deserved much more." With that he completed his journey to the doorway and passed through, determined to find a quiet place to ease the headache that was ravaging his mind. As he passed a large tapestry of a rearing horse, one that he had never bothered to learn the history of, an arm linked through his and a small head came to his shoulder.
"That was wonderful, whether you are going to admit it or not. You did the right thing. He was a wonderful man." Guinevere's words battled their way into his brain and did a marvelous job settling the previous noises. He sighed once more; there was so much work that still needed to be done.
Merlin stared at a stack of books he was trying to organize. He squinted at the cover of one that was particularly frayed, trying to make sense of the symbols etched into the front binding, but all he could see were the bright orange flames that had been staining his vision since early this morning when the strong wood supporting his mentor- former mentor- was set aflame.
He picked up another book that was protected by goat skin so old that it was beginning to mold-that could not be a good for it. Merlin pulled in a short, hard breath through his nose and moved his eyes from book to book. "This is useless!" He yelled to the perpetually too empty room; he hurled the book and let it crash into the far wall. As it struck the stitches that had been struggling to keep the old pages together snapped: yellowed leather flew in all directions as the cover slid down, taking with it an entire shelve of herbs Merlin had painstakingly collected and dried last month.
"Well, it sound like you're having quite the party in here. Any reason I was not invited?" Merlin whipped his head around to see the beautiful, young queen standing in the doorway with a small basket held loosely in front of her skirt.
"Guinevere?! I am sorry! Your majesty! I'm sorry! I-"
"Merlin!" The woman interjected, "It's alright. I understand. I just came to make sure you ate something today." She holds the small basket out to him.
"Oh!" he responds a little frantically. I'm fine. I have this-I have to-"
"You have a knife in this…room…I assume. I did not bring one." She set the basket down in a small clearing on top of a stack of wooden crates while surveying the damage.
"Yes. Of course! I'm cleaning," he informed. He lifted a bowl and checked under it, then under the book the bowl was resting on, and then under the chaos ridden table in search of anything worthy of cutting. "I promise this really is cleaning. It will be. When I'm done-which obviously will not be for quite some time." He sighed. Gwen flashed him a sympathetic smile.
"You know things always get worse before they get better." At that moment Merlin spotted a quick flash of light underneath the makeshift crate-table Gwen had left the basket on.
"I know." He said before dropping suddenly to his stomach and crawling into the lowest crate. Startled, Gwen took a step back. Merlin emerged a moment later with an armful of scraps piled haphazardly on yet another book. He rose and dropped the load unceremoniously onto an actually-intended-to-be table and let his chin droop slightly as the new objects forced several others over the edge and to the floor. Defeated, he dug through the mess. Finally, he achieved a tiny success as he gripped the knife he had been looking for, handing it to Gwen.
The woman gave him a warm, grateful look as she took the knife, wiping it on a spare cloth she had brought with her. Merlin went back to the mess. A stack of lose papers were moved to the left, an inkwell was placed against the far wall, and small loaf of bread with a few slices removed was held in confusion. "What is this?" he mused quietly. "That man, hah, he did not even share." He set the loaf gently back into the disorder.
Gwen giggled quietly before handing him the fruit of her labor: a small stack of apple slices and a hunk of smoked ham on a white cloth. She knew merlin was not overly keen on meat but she needed him to eat something substantial so she could stop worrying about her friend- well, worry less at least.
Merlin took a bite of his first apple slice, chewed it, and swallowed. He repeated the short string of actions several more times while Gwen began a small stroll around the room to observe the wreckage. She picked up a book with a newer spine and opened the cover. She frowned at what was written on the inside. "Merlin," she inquired moving back to the young man's side, "what language is this?"
Merlin glared intently at the page she held open to him, very quiet. She supposed he was thinking it over-after all she had never even seen it before so chances are he never spent much time with it eith-
"I Don't Know!" He all but roared. Guinevere jumped back several steps and gripped the book tight to her chest in defense against the rise in volume. He was usually so quiet, so soft spoken.
"I have no idea what I am doing! I will never be able to do all the things Gaius was." He was now stomping around the room, his meal long forgotten. "His knowledge on all subjects of medicine where so deep, so thorough! I have nothing but the few basic remedies he taught me! I cannot even read the titles of some of his most important books!" He ripped the book from Gwen's arms and slammed it onto the table, dislodging several poultice bags and a jar of brown liquid that shattered on the floor.
Gwen gasped, speechless. Merlin raged on, "What happens when someone comes to me, hurt, suffering, and all I can do is watch them die?" Finally he ran out of steam and sank down onto the bed that had once been his mentor's. He put his head in his hands and stared at the far wall.
He had all but forgotten that Guinevere was there until her face appeared in his line of sight. She kneeled in front of him, her face set and determined. "You look at me, Merlin." She ordered in her strongest Queen of Camelot voice. Merlin's eyes met hers and they held each other's gaze: neither wavered, neither tearful. "There is nothing more you could have done for Gaius. You tried all you knew-"
"That's exactly my point, Gwen!"
"Shut up, Merlin!" and he fell silent once more, feeling very much the same as when his mother scolded him for staying out too long to play with the sheep. "Think of all of those you have saved! All of the people that are alive because you stayed steady and calm when faced with the idea of sickness and death. Gaius was simply too sick. You know that not everything can be cured and that sometimes very good people that we love die." Her voice broke at that moment and Merlin looked into her watery eyes, knowing she was remembering her father.
After she felt her last words had sunken in she continued, "You are a great healer Merlin, the best that Camelot has- It is true!" She declared when she saw his mouth open to interject. "Name one person in the entire village who is better." That silenced him again-he did not know anyone better. "You can do this. I promise you!" She leaned forward in anticipation of his response.
Merlin took a breath, "I think you have been spending too much time with Arthur," was his only reply.
"What?"
"'Shut up, Merlin!'" He imitated in a terrible impersonation of his friend. "Really it was almost perfect, though next time I would suggest sounding a little less intelligent." He grinned cheekily.
"Ha! No wonder he complains about you so much! Sometime you need someone to tell you when to quit!" Gwen played along, letting Merlin lighted the mood in the room like he was usually so adept at.
Just then there was a knock at the door. Guinevere stood and walked back to the napkin of meat and fruit, placing it once more into Merlin's hands. Merlin smiled at her, infinitely grateful for her kindness and, most of all, her words. "Come in," he belatedly addressed the stranger behind the door.
The door opened very slightly and the small, sweet face of a girl appeared around the wood. "Um…Physician Merlin?" Her voice was as small as she was.
Merlin laughed a little as the sound of the new title smashed into his name before looking over at Gwen, who smiled with real pleasure for the first time in days. "I guess so," he answered. "You can come in," he tried once more.
The girl did not come any closer. "His majesty, the King, would like to see you in the conference room; they are going to add you into the official records and need you to sign the document."