"Kili? Fili? You two awake?"
I hear the front door close and heavy footsteps coming down the hall, toward the living room. "In here," I call.
"I'm back." I look up as Thorin walks through the doorway, and practically collapses into his favorite recliner.
"I'm guessing Bofur and Dwalin had one too many, and their chosen team lost?"
"You forgot Gloin." Yep. Tonight had definitely been too much.
"Where's your brother?" Thorin asks, suppressing a yawn.
"He took a shower then said he was going to bed. Said he'd see you in the morning." I tell Thorin.
After a few moments of no response from Thorin, I look up to find him looking at me with a questioning look on his face. "What happened today?" he asks.
"I don't know," I sigh, frustrated. I turn the television off and face my uncle. "He really didn't say much. Just talked about how he doesn't really know how he's going to spend the next four years."
"And, how much he wishes things had worked out differently with basketball." Thorin adds.
"Yeah." I say. I want to bring up the fact that there was something else bothering him too, but since I had no idea what it was, I didn't say anything else.
"Well, I guess I'm going to bed. See you in the morning," I say, standing up and making my way toward the stairs.
"I think I'll do the same. 'Night, Fili."
"'Night, Uncle."
"Fee? You awake?"
I feel something shaking my shoulder gently and roll over to see my brother standing beside my bed. I tap my phone to see what time it is- 4:07 AM.
"Kili, what do you want? It's four in the morning!" I growl, pulling a pillow over my head.
"Couldn't sleep." Kili mumbles.
"Yeah, well, some of us were." I look up to see his reaction at my harsh tone and immediately stop. Kili doesn't look good. "Kee, what's wrong?" I sit up and scoot over, motioning for him to sit.
Kili immediately lays down beside me, and before I can ask him to answer my question, he bursts into tears.
I do the only thing I know to do. I gather my little brother into my arms and hold on for dear life as he sobs into my chest. Sleep can wait. Kili needs my help.
It's a little past 4:30 when Kili's tears finally stop and he becomes quiet. I listen to the soft, even breaths of my little brother and know he has finally fallen asleep. I give him one last gentle squeeze and lay his head on the pillow beside me.
The logical thing would be to get Thorin and tell him what happened. But it's 4:30 AM and I value my life.
So, with that decided, I continue to lay on what is now my half of the bed, and watch my little brother sleep. Ever since the day Kili was born, things had been harder for him. Being born two months early, he was always smaller and had a weak immune system. I can't even begin to count the number of nights Kili has spent in a hospital. Twice he battled pneumonia. We thought we were going to lose him both times, but Kili's a fighter. And we thank God for that.
And, of course, Kili had always been the subject of school bullies because his smaller frame was seen as a weakness. Many times, he would come home from school with a black eye or a busted nose. Thorin would always give the same "defend yourself and end this crap" lecture, while I cleaned up his injuries. Eventually, Kili had snapped and told Thorin that he had tried to defend himself and that had resulted in his broken arm. Thorin lost it with that information, threatening to call the school, the parents, and the police. Kili finally calmed him down when he agreed to take a few self-defense classes. Arresting twelve year olds obviously wasn't an option.
Me, being the older brother I am, decided to do something about it, too. Not telling Kili, Thorin, or anybody else, I made my way down to the junior high one day and personally threatened the boys who had been using my brother as a punching bag. The bullying had nearly stopped after our little talk.
Then came basketball. Kili had hated those self-defense classes. It required him to be too serious, and Kili was one ball of energy. He needed to run and jump and show off his quick skills. His freshman year of high school, Kili tried out for basketball without telling anybody. He didn't even tell us when he had made the team. All we knew was that we were requested to be at the high school gym Friday night for a special ceremony. When Thorin and I walked in and noticed it was opening night of the basketball season, we were perplexed. Then as the starting five were called out onto the floor, our jaws hit the floor as Kili's name was called out. By the end of the night, he had scored twenty of the team's forty-five points. We had never been so proud.
Kili. Small, reckless, and insanely happy, Kili, was the most important person in my life. My little brother. When he hurt, I hurt, too. And right now, Kili was hurting. I would get to the bottom of this, but it would have to wait 'til morning. I was going to need all the sleep I could get for our talk tomorrow.
When I woke up at 9:15, I was freezing. I rolled over and immediately saw what appeared to be my little brother wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets. He always had been a bed hog. I reach over to smack him gently on the arm, and stop with my hand hovering over his left arm thinking better of it. Kili could sleep a little longer. Thorin wouldn't care.
I slowly stand up, careful not to jostle the bed waking my brother. I reach over to my desk chair and grab the sweatshirt draped across the back, pulling it on. The air conditioner must have been cranked up. I pull out some socks from a drawer and slip them over my freezing feet. With one last glance at Kili, I open the door, and step out into the hall, closing the door behind me.
I make my way to the kitchen, just in time to hear Thorin ending a phone call.
"…yeah, that's fine. I can come in today… No, really, it's not a problem… OK, see you then." Thorin ends his phone call and turns as I make my way to the counter. "Good morning."
"Mmm, morning." I yawn, reaching for the cereal.
"You look like you didn't sleep much. Why?" Thorin inquires.
"Just thinking." I tell him. It wasn't a complete lie.
Thorin seems to accept this answer though and continues the conversation. "That was Balin. Apparently, a client is requesting an immediate meeting with the team."
"But it's Saturday." I say, like it should be obvious that nobody works on a Saturday.
"Yeah, I know. Apparently, my client doesn't have a problem with cancelling other people's plans when he doesn't have any of his own. I'll be done around 12:30. If you and Kee want to meet up for lunch or something, just text me. Speaking of which, where is Kee?"
"Uh, I guess he's still sleeping. I'll tell him about lunch when he wakes up." I say this all a little too fast. I know Thorin has realized this too because he's giving me the "what's going on" look. I just smile and tell him to have fun at his meeting as I shove another spoonful of cheerios into my mouth.
"Pig." I hear Thorin mutter as he walks out of the kitchen. Then a quiet laugh as he grabs his keys and briefcase and walks out the door.
After my breakfast, I gulp down a glass of orange juice and then make my way back to my room to grab some clothes before I shower. I ease open the door and look to the bed where Kili is still sound asleep, only now he is sprawled across the bed; head on my pillow, legs on his side of the bed, and arms spread wide open as he lays on his stomach. I hear the soft, steady breathing and know he's still out of it. I grab my clothes and make my way down the hall to the bathroom.
I'm walking down the hall when I hear a dull thud and see that my bedroom door is still closed, but directly across the hall, Kili's is slightly open. I go to my room first, placing the dirty pajamas in my laundry basket. Note to self: Do laundry after lunch today. Seriously. The mound was getting ridiculous.
I walk across the hall, and ease Kili's door open more and let myself in.
"Kee? You ok?"
I stand there for a few seconds not really registering what my eyes are seeing. But then it finally kicks in.
"KEE! Are you ok?" I rush over to my brother, who is sitting with his back against the wall breathing heavily.
Kili begins to cough and can't seem to get a deep breath. I sit down and begin to rub soothing circles across his arm with one hand while gently patting him on the back with the other.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just got a little dizzy…" Kili finally manages to wheeze out.
"Yeah, well, that doesn't explain your erratic breathing." I state, knowing there's more than what he is telling me.
"I just started coughing and when I fell, it knocked the breath out of me. I'm fine. Really. See? All better now." Kili rambles. His breathing has slowed considerably, almost back to normal. I know he is still hiding something, but I also know he isn't going to tell me anything else.
I nod my head and gently pull him up. "Thorin had to go in for a spur-of-the-moment meeting. He said he'd be done around 12:30 if we wanted to meet up and have lunch or something."
"Sounds good. What time is it?"
"10:30," I answer.
"All right. I'll eat some toast and then get dressed."
"Ok. I'll be in the living room if you need me."
"All right," Kili says. I notice he stumbles a little as he makes his way to his closet.
"You sure you're ok? Need help with anything?"
"I think I can dress myself, thank you very much." Kili snaps.
I look at him puzzled. Kili is never hostile towards me. We have always been best friends. Kili notices his odd behavior and looks me in the eye as he mumbles an apology.
"Don't worry about it. You're just tired." I say and make my way out of his room. Something is definitely wrong with my brother.