Chapter 6:

The sound of muffled steps drifted softly through the Doctor's open door signaling to him that Pete Tyler was awake. Excitement surged through him as he exited his room and followed the sound downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Mr. Tyler?" he said entering the kitchen and spotting the ginger haired man bent over a coffee maker.

"Oh… morning Doctor," Pete replied, "You know you can just call me Pete."

"Right Pete," the Doctor mumbled awkwardly. "Anyways I was wondering if I might come with you to Torchwood today." Pete remained silent as he finished making himself a cup of coffee. The Doctor shifted impatiently back and forth on his feet as he waited for an answer.

"Mmmm… I suppose that would be fine. I assume this is so you can work on some kind of project?" Pete inquired. The Doctor nodded. "That's fine. We have plenty of equipment you can use at the Torchwood Institute."

The Doctor thanked him and walked up the stairs to retrieve his blue suit coat. He hadn't worn the coat since the day he had been "born". The fabric felt familiar and comforting as he picked it up and rubbed it between his fingers. He put the jacket on and slid his hands into the pockets. The left one brushed something round and rough. Locking his fingers around it, he brought the object out of his pocket up and held it up to his face. He froze as his gaze locked onto it.

"T-this is… a chunk of… the TARDIS," he breathed. He had to restrain himself from shouting for joy at the top of his lungs and waking the rest of the house. "But how did it get here?" he pondered aloud. A huge grin overtook his face as he placed the TARDIS chunk back in his pocket and joined Pete downstairs leaving his musings for later.

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The Doctor rummaged through a bin containing several scrap materials. He picked out a couple small chunks of metal and placed them in a bucket at his feet. Pete had given him full access to the mechanics floor of Torchwood where all of the scrap material and tools were kept. After sifting through a few more bins the Doctor picked up the bucket and made his way back to a bench where he was organizing all of the materials. He scanned over his finds and wondered if it would be enough to make a sonic screwdriver, or at least a temporary one until he could fully form the TARDIS and go somewhere to obtain the proper materials. For now all he could do was use what he had and hope it worked.

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It was ten at night by the time the Doctor and Pete left Torchwood and arrived back home. Little progress on the sonic had been made, and he was already beginning to feel the creeping sense of failure over take him. The Doctor climbed the stairs and was about to retreat to his room when Rose walked out of her room and up to him.

"Hey, where have you been?" she asked smiling.

"Torchwood," he replied not wanting to give anymore away. He didn't want Rose to know what he had been working on. She might think he could build a new sonic… and if he failed she would be disappointed in him.

"Oh… well I was thinking we could start getting you established here tomorrow and maybe get you into the government system," she said, but she could tell the Doctor wasn't listening. Rose sighed and whispered,"I.. I wish you would tell me whats wrong."

"Its none of your concern," the Doctor said. He gave her his most reassuring smile before turning away from her and walking back to his room.

He shut the door and leaned against it. Roses gaze seemed to burn through the small barrier, and he felt guilt coursing through his veins. On the beach he had promised her his life. A life for them to spend together, but he couldn't do that now. Not unless he could truly become the Doctor and rid himself of the nightmares that seemed to haunt his every step. Sure she had forgiven and accepted him, but that wasn't good enough. He wanted her to smile again like she did when he took her to a brand new planet. He wanted her eyes to shine whenever she looked at him just like they had so long ago. Most of all, though, he wanted to make up for that time he had left her on the beach by herself. He never wanted his Rose to look as sad as she had in those pictures that hung around the Tyler house like painful whispers from the past. Till the time that he could become the Doctor again he had to stay away from her. He had to keep his fears bottled up so that Rose wouldn't be hurt by them too. The Doctor made up his mind that he would stay at Torchwood until the sonic was finished…

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Rose sat on the stairs with her head resting on her knees. She fought exhaustion as she waited for her father to come home. She desperately hoped that maybe this time the Doctor had decided to come with him. It had been three nights since she had last seen him. Her head shot up as she heard the lock click and the door open. Pete Tyler stepped in, and to Rose's dismay, shut the door behind him.

"He's still there isn't he?" Rose asked fighting to keep the quiver out of her voice.

Pete nodded, giving his daughter a sad smile, and continued upstairs. Rose remained sitting on the stairs. She fought back tears of despair. The Doctor had stayed locked in a room at Torchwood making it impossible for Rose to talk to him on her lunch breaks at work, and he refused to come home at nights. He was driving himself into the ground and she knew it. Without thinking she stood and marched into the kitchen grabbing the second set of keys to the car from their hanging place, and exiting the house.

It only took her fifteen minutes to drive down to the Torchwood building, but as she stepped onto the elevator that would take her to the Doctor all her courage seemed to drain out of her. She couldn't stop fidgeting as she waited for the elevator to reach its destination. Would he let her in? Or would he push her even farther away? A soft ping sounded and the elevator doors slid open. Rose slowly walked through the fist open room filled with worktables and blue prints. It was dark, but the large windows allowed just enough moonlight to seep in for Rose to make her way through. Everyone had gone home for the night leaving an eerie silence behind.

CRASH!

Rose jumped as the sound of metal hitting the floor reverberated around the empty room. She quickened her pace as she realized the sound was probably coming from another room. She spotted the light flooding out of an open doorway and stopped a few feet away. A trickle of fear shot through her, and all of her doubts about coming here echoed through her mind. Another loud crash sounded was followed by, what Rose assumed to be, gallifreyan curse words. Rose reached the door frame and peered around it. The Doctor stood in the middle of the room. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and his tie dangled loosely around his neck. Even his hair was messier than normal Rose noted. He was breathing heavily and a dark frown overshadowed his face. As for the room around him… there were several desks that had been knocked over, and scraps of metal littered the floor. Rose continued to watch, frozen in place, as the Doctor retrieved another large chunk of scrap metal near his feet and threw it against the wall in front of him. Several more smashed into the wall, and gallifreyan words accompanied them on their trip. At this moment she could truly see why he was called the on coming storm. Not wanting to see anymore; Rose rushed through the doorway.

"Doctor please stop," she cried her voice shaking from fear and sorrow. The Doctors gaze snapped to her, and a look of utter defeat filled his face. He stepped back and fell with his back against the wall into a slumped over sitting position. Rose approached him and sat cross-legged in front of him trying to hide her shaking.

"I'm a fake," he whispered not wanting to meet her eyes. "I can't give you the stars Rose." A few lone tears slid down his stubbly cheeks. He flinched slightly as Rose brought her hand up and gently wiped the tears from his face. He raised his own hand to rest over hers, holding it in place.

"I don't want the stars you daft alien," she said softly. "All I've ever wanted was you, my Doctor."

The Doctor raised his head and their eyes met. Before he could stop himself the words came tumbling out, "But Rose I'm a fake. I'm not him, and in all my nightmare my regenerations try and kill me. They know I wasn't supposed to exist. They are trying to correct the problem… and maybe they are right. I can't even build a sonic screwdriver. I'm not the Doctor, Rose."

Understanding lit Rose's face and she wrapped the now sobbing man in a tight hug. Finally the truth behind the Doctors sleepless nights and his constant avoidance of her had come out. "You listen to me," she began, "I don't care what you think your silly dreams are trying to tell you. You are not a mistake. You saved the universe from the Dalek. You told me you loved me. You stayed with me here in this miserable parallel universe. You didn't give up on me when I didn't believe in you. I want this to work Doctor, but I need you to believe in yourself again."

The sobs faded, replaced by quiet tears, until finally he stilled altogether. Pulling away from the embrace their eyes met. No more words were spoken, but none needed to be. They knew they were damaged beings, and as their lips met they knew that only time would tell all. Only time would heal all. For now it was the Doctor and Rose as it should be. He kissed her, letting go of all of the fear and regret bottled in him, and she welcomed the kiss. They let time slip by enjoying the feel of their lips pressed together. Finally, much to the Doctors disappointment Rose pulled away.

"Will you come home now?" she asked her eyes filled with hope and love.

"Yes," he replied placing a light kiss on her forehead.

They stood and the Doctor glanced around the room sheepishly. "I'll clean it up."

Rose laughed and took his hand. "Come on you lets go."

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The Doctor sat in a chair next to Roses bed, his head resting on the pink sheets while his hand gently held hers. She had long since fallen asleep. Her gentle, rhythmic breathing soothed him as he closed his eyes, and for the first time in weeks he slipped into a dreamless sleep.