Sunday remained uneventful. The exhaustion from Saturday had carried over into the next day. The bruises and pulled muscles were far more prominent, in both color and feeling. My brother now sports a bruised cheek, forearm, and scraped elbows and knees. My uncle is wearing a swollen lip, scraped knees, and a gash on his left calf. And everybody wonders why I don't like contact sports.

So, while the both of them spent their Sunday lounging in the living room and watching the television, I grabbed a book and joined them. We ordered in pizza for lunch and ate what was left for dinner. The fact that Kili only ate one slice at each meal and slept for majority of the day didn't escape my sight. I was also aware of the frequent looks Thorin was giving him. But, Kili slumbered on. Waking every couple of hours, swearing he was awake and not sleeping the day away, and then falling back to sleep minutes later. Finally, Thorin had had enough and said we should all be going to bed early because of the excitement of tomorrow.

Which brings me to today. Kili's first day of radiation. The alarm went off five minutes ago, but I am in no way ready to get up. I lay in my bed, staring at a picture on my nightstand of my brother and me with some friends on vacation last year. Kili's smile lights up the picture. The five of us were standing in front of a waterfall we had discovered on a hike through the forest. Kili had found it first and was determined to cliff dive into the vast pool. Gimli, our cousin, had to forcefully pull him back from the ledge. Kili found all of this hilarious. Eventually we all settled for a group picture. That seemed like an eternity ago.

I still have three hours until we have to be at the hospital. Kili's treatment is scheduled for 11:30, but we have to be there by 11. At the moment, I believe I may be more nervous than Kili ever could be. Today is only the beginning of the drastic changes that are going to occur in our lives. I can't help but think that if Kili's tumor proves to be a long-term problem, how much everyone's future will change. He'll probably never regain his strength or any of his normal life. He'll be forced to spend his life in misery, watching as the world goes on around him, oblivious to his unhappiness. He probably wouldn't smile anymore, and his infectious laugh would become a distant memory. He wouldn't live, he would merely exist.

"Stop it!" I yell at myself. I throw the blankets off of me, and sit on the side of my bed. I refuse to let those thoughts consume me. It would never come to that worst-case scenario. Kili would be happy and healthy again.

I hear a soft knock at my door.

"It's open," I call.

Thorin peeks his head in. "There are some pancakes in the fridge. Kili is still asleep. I've waited as long as I can, but I have to leave. Can you tell him to call me when he wakes?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks." Thorin begins to shut the door then stops himself. "It's going to be ok. Let me know how everything goes. He'll be sick when it's over, but you've already proven that you can offer what assistance he'll need. You have my complete thanks and admiration, Fili."

I can feel the tears raising in my eyes. Not trusting my voice to form so many words, I mutter a soft thank you.

Thorin shuts the door behind him and leaves.

I sit here a while longer, checking my phone. I know Kili will continue to sleep for a while longer because he never willingly wakes up before at least 10 when he has the chance. It's 8:30 and I'll allow Kili to sleep until at least 9:30. Breakfast can wait, and I don't know if I can even eat. There's one person that I can think of that can calm my nerves.

I know it's early, but a text message will not do. I pull up my contacts list, tap Éowyn's name, and hit the call button.

"Hello."

I sigh in relief. "Hi."

"Fili, is everything all right?" Éowyn asks full of concern.

"I just needed to hear your voice. I'm ok." Wow, that sounds so cheesy. I smack myself.

Éowyn laughs. "I'm flattered, but I know when you're lying to me."

I smile to myself. We haven't seen each other since that beautiful day at the park, but she can still read me like a book. I take a deep breath. "I have to take Kili in for his first radiation treatment this morning. And I'm scared. What am I supposed to do? I've been acting this entire time, constantly putting up a front. The wall I built is crumbling, and he's going to know it. I can't let him down, but right now, I don't know if I can keep on acting. I'm scared. I'm his big brother. I'm supposed to be the rock he leans on and holds him up. How am I supposed to support him when I can barely support myself?" I stop because I know if I continue, the tears I'm fighting to hold in will escape.

"Fili, take a deep breath," she instructs me. I do as she commands. "You need to calm down. Today is going to be hard on everyone, but especially your brother. All of your lives are going to change. I know you're scared, and no one blames you. You love your brother more than anything. Everyone knows that, especially Kili. Just being there for his support, even when you think you can do better, is enough for him. You will truly never know what you mean to him, Fili. You're his hero. He knows you aren't perfect and he's ok with that. Fili, no one can keep pretending to be something they're not. That includes you. Don't be afraid to show weakness. Everything will be ok. Kili is going to be ok."

I take another shaky breath and release it slowly. My nerves are significantly calmer now. I feel a single tear make its way down my cheek. Then I smile. "Thank you. I don't know how I ever managed before you." I say with complete conviction.

I can hear the smile in Éowyn's voice. "Sometimes I wonder the same thing."

We both laugh at the truth in that statement. Then something clicks. "You said I was his hero. To some other person it may have sounded like a cliché encouragement. But it wasn't, was it?"

Éowyn waits a moment before answering. "He… he may have called me a few times…"

"What?" I ask, completely stunned.

"He worries about you almost as much as you do for him. He really loves you, Fili. You're his best friend and his hero. He has told me many times how he couldn't have even made it this far without you by his side. He knows you can't be brave for the both of them when you can barely convince yourself, and he doesn't expect you to. He knows you have your breaking point and he will be there when you reach it. Until then, just continue to be the best brother you can. You're the only one he has and he wouldn't want it any other way. You're the best thing for him right now."

Éowyn stops talking because I can't hold back a sob. She patiently waits while I gather my emotions and store them away once more. "I really had no idea that he had called you. But, I'm glad he did."

Éowyn laughs. "Me too. He's quite a charmer. You might have some competition there."

I laugh, too. "Somehow I doubt he'll get his way this time." I look at the time and decide I need to wake my brother. "I need to wake Kili. We have to be there by 11, and it will take me forever to drag him out of his bed."

"Ok, good luck with that."

"Thanks, I'll need it."

"Let me know how today goes. I know he'll be sick after everything today, so I do not want you calling or texting me immediately after. If you do, I won't answer. Kili needs your full attention right now, got it?"

"Yes, ma'am." If she was here, I would salute her for good measure. But, she's not, and saluting my wall would just be weird.

"Good. Now go get your brother. Today will be over before you know it. Tomorrow will be easier."

"I hope." I sigh, standing up. "Thank you for everything. I know it's early, but I just couldn't talk about this through a text message."

"Fili, I would have answered if you had called me at four in the morning. I care about you."

"I hope you know I would do the same for you."

"I know. Now go get your brother. I'll still be here when you call later, ok? Remember, everything is going to be fine."

We say our goodbyes and I end the call. I had showered last night, so while Kili showers, I'll get ready and warm up breakfast.

I knock on Kili's door. No answer. I push the door open and see the familiar bundle on the bed.

"Hey, Kee. Time to get up." I drag the blankets away from his head, revealing the mass of brown curls. His face is planted into the pillow. "I've let you sleep as long as I can."

"Five more minutes?" The request is muffled, but I can still decipher it.

"Nope, sorry. Get up." I say, shaking his shoulder. "Thorin made pancakes before he left. I'm going to get ready then warm them up. They'll be waiting when you get out of the shower."

Kili rolls over onto his side, facing me. "I don't know if eating is the smartest idea this morning."

I look at him in concern. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah. I meant for later." Kili sighs.

"Oh." I can see his dilemma, but I also know he needs to eat because having any sort of medical treatment or medication on an empty stomach is never a good thing. "I know, but you need to eat."

"Fine." Kili shuts his eyes again.

"Kili…" I ground out in warning.

"I'm up, I'm up." Kili throws the blankets back and stands up. "I'll go shower. Keep your cool."

I roll my eyes and go back to my room. I pull out some clothes and get dressed. Next, I grab a comb from the top of my chest of drawers and attempt to tame my bed head. Unlike Kili's hair, mine is straight, but it still manages to tangle and go every direction but where I want it to. I give up and grab some gel. At least it helps a little.

I pass the bathroom and hear the shower running. Knowing he will be done soon, I continue the walk to the kitchen. I take the fluffy pancakes Thorin had made and place them in the microwave. When they're warm, I grab two different plates and place them on the table. I grab the syrup from the pantry, the butter from the fridge, and two knives and forks from the cutlery drawer. I place these items on the table. I decide I don't have the time to make coffee and settle for drinking a glass of orange juice like I know Kili will want.

A few minutes later, Kili walks into the kitchen and sits at his usual place. We eat in silence. When we're finished, we put our dishes in the dish washer and clean up the mess.

"All right. Do you need anything else before we leave?" I ask my brother.

"Don't think so." Kili replies.

"Ok, let's go."

Neither of us make a sound during the ride to the hospital. Kili tries to fix the silence by turning on the radio. When nothing satisfies him, he turns it off.

We take the elevator to the basement when we get to the hospital and walk to the radiation room Bilbo showed us at our last visit. Kili takes a deep breath and pushes open the door to the waiting area.

"Hello. How can I help you?" the receptionist asks.

"Kili Durin. I am here for my radiation treatment. Doctor Baggins said to come in early, and, well, here I am." Kili smiles at the lady. He almost has me convinced.

The lady smiles politely back at him. "I will let him know you are here."

"Do you always have to do that?" I ask him.

"Do what?" Kili asks, feigning innocence.

"You know what. Charm any girl you see."

"I do believe you are jealous, brother." Kili says with a smug grin.

"Kili, Fili, hello!" Bilbo greets us abruptly as he walks into the waiting area. He smiles and shakes our hands. Kili is still flashing the almost convincing smile. "I trust you have been well since last we met."

"Actually, yes. Even beat Thorin at a basketball game Saturday evening." Kili laughs.

Bilbo laughs. "I see you gained a few bruises yourself. Well, I'd like to stay and chat, but now isn't the time. I'm afraid you will have to come with me now, Kili. Fili, you can wait here if you want. The treatment will only take about fifteen minutes, but since this is the first treatment, today may run a little slower." Bilbo stops to gently pat Kili's shoulder. "It will be over in no time."

Kili sighs. "Let's do this."

I pull Kili in for a quick embrace, then he follows Bilbo through the door.

I sit in one of the plastic chairs and send Thorin a text. "At the hospital. Kili just left."

A minute later my phone vibrates. "Good. He didn't call me."

Crap. "Sorry, forgot to tell him. My fault. He's fine though."

"Ok. Let me know when it's over."

I didn't bother to bring a book because I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate enough to read. The magazines lying around the waiting area are unappealing, too. So, I spend the next thirty minutes hearing, but not really listening to, the small television in the waiting area.

"Same time tomorrow… All right… You did well today."

The sound of Bilbo's approaching voice catches my attention, and I stand at the same moment Kili and the doctor walk through the door. After only one treatment, Kili looks exhausted and weak. Of course, part of this is due to the adrenaline crash from this morning, and the energy he never gained from Saturday.

Kili walks over to stand next to me. His legs wobble a little, but I quickly grab his elbow to balance him.

I shoot Bilbo a look.

"It's normal." He silently mouths to me.

I nod my head, still a little wary.

"All right. You did well today, Kili. If it's all right with you, we will meet here again, 11:30 tomorrow morning." Bilbo says, looking directly at Kili.

Kili swallows. "That's fine." He says with a shaky breath.

"Are you going to be sick?" Bilbo asks, concerned.

Kili swallows again. "I'll be ok."

Bilbo looks at me. I shake my head no.

"All right. I will just get you something to take with you, just in case." Bilbo left for a moment and came back with a small plastic bucket.

"Thank you," I say, taking the object from Bilbo. "See you tomorrow."

Kili and I walk to the elevator. The minute-long ride is spent with him swallowing every ten seconds, but still, he refuses to throw up. Which, of course, doesn't really upset me.

When I unlock the car, Kili quickly pulls his passenger side door open and falls into the seat, breathing heavily.

"Do you want to try some water?" I ask, fastening my seatbelt.

Kili fastens his seatbelt with shaking fingers. "Yeah."

I text Thorin. "Leaving hospital." Then, I put the car in drive, take one last look at my brother, and leave the parking lot.

I go to the nearest drive-thru and order a small cup of iced-water. When the worker hands it to me, I set it in the cup holder where Kili can reach it. I don't trust his reflexes enough to allow him to hold it for the remainder of the ride home. Apparently he doesn't either because he only takes a sip every few minutes and promptly sets the cup back in the holder.

We pull into the garage and unfasten our seatbelts. I grab Kili's drink and the bucket from the back. I walk around to the other side to help Kili out of the car if needed. Kili gets out of the car on his own, a little unstable, but he manages to move on his own.

We are almost to the front door when he stops.

"I think I'll take that bucket now."

I immediately help Kili sit down onto the concrete sidewalk. Then thrust the bucket into his hands, just in time. I hold his hair back with one hand and rub circles on his back with the other. A few minutes later Kili stops.

"Done?"

Kili nods his head.

I hand him his water and take the bucket from him. The unpleasant stench nearly makes me sick, but I hold it in. "Don't move. I'll be right back."

Kili nods his head again. I walk across the street and dump the contents of the bucket over the bank. I jog back over to where Kili is still sitting on the concrete. He sets his cup beside him and reaches up a hand. I reach down with both of mine and pull him up. I quickly pick up his cup, tossing it into the bucket, and we walk to the door.

"Do you want to go to the living room?" I ask.

"No. I think I'll stop at the bathroom." Kili answers me.

"Ok. I'm going to let Thorin know we're home. Let me know if you need help."

Kili glares at me. "I think I can take it from here." He pushes open the door, and slams it behind him.

I release a sigh of frustration and walk to the living room.

"Hello?"

"We're home."

"How is he?"

"I thought he was going to be sick before we made it to the car, but he held it in. I stopped and got him a small cup of water. He took a few sips and was doing ok. When we got home, he got out of the car on his own. But, he had to stop on the way to the door. I helped him sit down on the concrete, and he finally lost it. He let me walk him inside when he was finished. He stopped in the bathroom. I'm in the living room waiting for him now."

Thorin is quiet for a few moments. His breathing the only indication that he is still on the other side of this phone call.

"Same time tomorrow?" Thorin asks.

"Yeah, only we won't have to go in early this time. Bilbo said he did well through the treatment. Kili went in with a fake smile and when he came out, there was no sign of cheer. He didn't even try. He just stumbled out and waited for me."

"I'll be home later. Watch out for him."

"You know I will." I end the call as Kili falls into the recliner and immediately releases the leg rest. He is wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, but I can still see the shivers coming from his body.

"Do you want a blanket?"

When Kili doesn't answer, I grab one from the back of the couch and lay it over him anyway.

"Do you need anything?"

Still no answer. I grab the remote from the coffee table and hand it to him. He doesn't touch it, just continues to stare at the wall in front of him. I drop the remote beside him in frustration.

"Kili Durin, answer me."

Kili turns his head and glares at me. Then grabs the remote and turns the TV on.

This is one of those moments when I want to smack him.

"I'll be in the kitchen." I ground out, leaving the room.

I run up the stairs and grab my laptop from my room. I want nothing more than to slam the door and hide out in my room, but I can't hear Kili as well up here. And as frustrated as I am, he is still at the front of my conscience. I make my way back down to the kitchen, glancing into the living room. Kili's head is facing the archway, eyes closed. Maybe he will snap out of his attitude if he sleeps awhile.

I sit at the table with my laptop, checking in with my professors and a few friends from school. I try to get caught up on the world with Facebook, and find that some people are just too ignorant. I find myself playing solitaire for an hour. Then I hear feet in the hallway, and the bathroom door being opened. I peek my head around the corner of the doorway and listen. Kili is sick again.

Against my instincts, I sit back down at the table. The last thing I want to do is make him angrier. I wait there, until I hear feet on the tile floor. I risk a glance. Kili is white and shaking. He grabs a bottle of cold water from the fridge, looks at me, and walks back to the living room.

I wait until I know he is back in the living room before checking on him. He is back in the recliner, fighting sleep.

I go back to the bathroom and wash the bucket that I had forgotten about having. Once it's clean, I creep back into the living room and sit on the couch with the bucket. I don't bother to steal the remote and change the channel. A football game between the Mirkwood Moose and the Mordor Fire was going on. Kili would be cheering for Mirkwood because the coach is his old friend, Legolas', father. The game is in the second quarter and Mirkwood is winning by three touchdowns. Sauron, the coach for Mordor, isn't happy about losing and is turning an unhealthy shade of red. I'm convinced that if it were physically possible, he would be spewing fire from his mouth. The game hits halftime and the commentators spend the fifteen minutes comparing the teams, giving highlights, and talking about other games happening today.

Kili stirs again in the beginning of the third quarter. He reaches down to lower the leg rest, but before he reaches it, I hand him the bucket. Kili takes it and throws up again. When he finishes, I take the bucket and empty it again in the bathroom.

"Thanks," Kili mumbles after I sit back on the couch.

I don't answer, prompting Kili to continue.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." I say.

Kili turns back to the TV. "You can change the channel. I don't think I'm going to make it through this game."

"I don't mind. I'll let you know who wins. Go back to sleep." I say, looking at Kili.

"Have it your way," Kili says, rolling onto his side, back facing me.

Kili sleeps through the rest of the game. Mirkwood wins by three touchdowns and a two point conversion in the last two minutes. A fight nearly breaks out on the field. It never becomes physical though, just some words thrown around.

I hear the front door open and feet coming down the hall as the game goes off and highlights begin.

"Hey," Thorin whispers from the doorway.

"Hi," I reply, scooting over in case he wants to sit down.

He remains in the doorway though. "How is he?"

"He sleeps for a while, then wakes up sick, and goes back to sleep. All normal."

"I stopped at Subway. Yours is in the kitchen if you want it."

I honestly hadn't thought about food. But at the mention of it, my stomach grumbles. Thorin takes my place on the couch and I go to the kitchen. Before I've eaten half of my sandwich, I feel my eyes growing heavy and decide a nap would be ok after my dinner. Thorin is home now. He can take care of Kili.

Kili is still asleep and Fili hasn't made a noise since he went to the kitchen. I decide to check on him. I find Fili passed out at the kitchen table, half of a sandwich in one hand, and his head laying on his arm.

"Fili," I gently call.

My nephew's head snaps up immediately. "Kili!"

I rub his shoulder. "He's sleeping. Go take a proper nap. We'll be fine down here." I re-wrap his sandwich and place it in the refrigerator.

Fili follows me out of the kitchen, peeks his head into the living room, and goes up the stairs. I resume my place on the couch, listening to the highlights of a basketball game.

Kili shifts in his sleep and makes a strange noise. I grab the bucket from where it is sitting beside me on the couch and leap to Kili's side. He takes the bucket and throws up again. When he finishes, I take the bucket and set it on the coffee table behind me. I grab another blanket from the back of the couch and wrap it around Kili's shivering frame.

"Thanks, Fee." Kili mumbles, eyes closed.

"Try again, buddy." I laugh lightly.

Kili opens his eyes and turns his head in my direction. "Hey."

"Warm enough?" I ask. I know if I ask how he's feeling, he'll either lie or be painfully blunt.

Kili yawns and nods his head.

"Want anything?"

Kili shakes his head no. I take the bucket to the bathroom and clean it. I stop in the kitchen and grab a bottle of water, then go back to the living room. To my surprise, Kili is flipping through channels.

"Why don't you go back to sleep?" I ask, sitting back down on the couch.

"No use," Kili sighs. "I wake up sick as soon as I get comfortable."

"Maybe if you take some medicine for your stomach and try to eat something…"

Kili visibly stiffens at the mention of food.

"I know, sounds like a bad idea, but it wouldn't hurt to try something light. Even a few crackers." I encourage him.

Kili thinks it over. "Fine."

I go to the kitchen and grab a box of crackers from the pantry. I take a roll out and place the rest back on the shelf. Then, I walk up the stairs to Kili's room where I know his medicine is setting on the nightstand.

I walk back to the living room, where Kili has now settled on a show. I hand him the medicine. He takes it, painting a humorous grimace on his face, and takes a drink of his water. "Tastes like poison."

I laugh at his description and hand him the crackers. He manages to open them and eats one. I set the medicine back on the coffee table, and watch from the couch as Kili eats the crackers.

Fili doesn't wake up for the rest of the evening. Kili doesn't throw up, either. Around 9:30, I grab the remote and turn the TV off.

"Let's go to bed, Kee."

"Mmkay," Kili mumbles through a yawn. He puts the leg rest down and tries to stand. He's shaking from the cold and physical weakness, but he manages to hoist himself up onto his feet. He wobbles a little, but catches himself and walks over to me.

"C'mon, grandpa." Kili teases, reaching down a hand.

I try to feign anger, but the faint hint of his pearly whites makes me smile. If teasing me will make him feel better, then I am ok with it.

We walk the stairs together. It would have been easier and quicker if I had just carried him, but Kili is fighting with everything in him to keep what little dignity he still has. So, I keep one hand on his elbow and move at his pace. When we reach the top, Kili falls into my side. I wrap an arm around his waist and hold him up.

"I feel like I just climbed a great mountain." Kili says trying to catch his breath.

I give him a gentle squeeze then walk with him down the hall to his room. Once he is settled in bed, bucket by his side, I tell him goodnight and walk back to my room. I lay there thinking for a few hours, before my brain finally slows down and allows me to sleep.