WEDNESDAY- TWO DAYS LATER

"I have to be at court at 10:30, so I guess I can actually enjoy breakfast with you two this morning." Thorin says with a smile as he pours his coffee.

"Just Fili. I'm passing this morning." Kili mumbles. His head is laying propped on his folded arms on top of the kitchen table.

Yesterday had been much like Monday, only slightly worse. After radiation, Kili forced himself to eat a small sandwich. When that had failed soon after the first three bites, he threw it in the trash. He hasn't eaten anything since then. And this morning, he is in a particularly bad mood.

"Kee, you haven't eaten since lunch yesterday."

"I'm not eating."

"Just try some—"

Kili's voice rises along with his head. "Fili, I am not eating!"

I clench my jaws together, forcing my mouth to stay closed.

Thorin's low voice breaks the silence. "Kili—"

Kili shoves his chair back and stands. "I'm going to shower."

I bite my tongue. Saying anything now will only add to his foul mood, and I am not wanting to fight with him today. Actually, I never enjoy fighting with my brother, but that's beside the point.

A much needed mug of steaming coffee appears before me. I take a much needed sip and mutter my thanks to Thorin. I continue to sit here in the chair, breathing in the healing aroma of espresso. Thorin works on breakfast and tries to make small talk. After he asks the same question three times without my response, he stops.

Thorin is standing in front of the stove, concentrating on the pancakes and bacon. His back to the room. My back is also to the entrance from where I sit at the table.

So, neither of us knew Kili was back until—

"No."

The single word, though practically whispered, is filled with such anguish and sadness. Thorin and I both turn in unison, ready to leap to help.

But then we freeze.

In the palm of Kili's hand is a brown clump. And on the top of Kili's head is a missing patch.

The coffee mug in my hands falls from my grip and crashes onto the floor, shattering into a million pieces. A metaphor of my heart. Thorin stares at Kili's hand for a few more seconds, then blinks.

"Can you get the syrup, Fili?"

Sometimes I hate how he can so easily avoid compromising situations. But, right now, I envy him.

Needless to say, not a word was spoken the ride to the hospital.

Thorin had forced himself to eat a few bites of breakfast before realizing that he couldn't handle it. I quietly cleaned up my coffee mug mess. Kili went back upstairs. Thorin wordlessly left an hour early. I don't know where he went, but I'm sure it was somewhere he would be alone. He has too much pride to let people see him breakdown. Kili and I have seen it only a couple of times. It's awful.

"Will you be offended if I ask Doctor Baggins to shave my head?" Kili asks walking through the hospital doors.

"No," I answer honestly. Because, I don't know if I am capable of doing it. I know Thorin isn't.

Kili nods his head and continues walking, rather slowly, to the elevator. A green beanie with a large white "M" embroidered on the rim covers his head. Small sections of hair sneak out from around the edges. It looks normal. But, I know that on the top right of his head, a patch of hair is missing. And in less than an hour, there won't be any hair.

I shake my head and swallow hard, pushing those thoughts away. Kili reaches over to quickly grab my hand and squeeze it before stepping off the elevator. I can see the attempt at a smile hidden behind his mandatory mask.

"Ah, good morni—"

Bilbo stops speaking upon seeing the cap on Kili's head.

"Surprise," Kili mumbles.

"I'm sorry, lad."

The doctor's eyes hold complete sincerity to his words. I swallow, forcing the water in my eyes to stay inside.

"Will you do the honors?" Kili asks somewhat reluctantly.

Bilbo nods. "Yes. I'll send a request for the clippers to be sent down."

Kili reaches over and squeezes my hand once more and walks back for his treatment.

I collapse into the closest chair and put my head in my hands. I pinch the bridge of my nose with two fingers and release a heavy sigh.

A hand rests on my shoulder and offers a comforting pat.

"It's so surreal." I whisper, knowing full well that Bilbo hears me.

"I know. I see this all the time, and it never gets easier." Bilbo removes his hand from my shoulder. "Well, I am going to go make a few calls. I'll be back shortly."

"Meeting adjourned. Re-gather tomorrow morning, 10:30. Dismissed."

The loud echo of the gavel hitting the block resonates throughout the courtroom.

I gather my papers, packing them into my briefcase not so neatly. Once stuffed inside, I close and lock it. I leave the courtroom and exit the double doors separating me from the outside world. I take in a deep breath as the fresh, fall air hits my face. I walk down the sidewalk to the nearest bench and wait for the person trailing me to sit down, too.

"Thorin, where is your head today?" Dori asks, taking his place beside me.

Two choices: avoid the inevitable truth, or face it head-on.

"Kili has to shave his head today," I say with one breath. Then, I take another and continue. "This morning, when he was in the shower- it just—" I pause to swallow the lump in my throat. "Kili walked into the kitchen with a wet mass of hair in the palm of his hand. I didn't- couldn't- say anything. It's so surreal."

Dori is surprisingly quiet beside me. I know everything I just told him is quite the heavy load, but he is usually quick with a response. His silence disturbs me. But, then again, he probably doesn't have an adequate answer for everything I've just told him. How could he? He's never experienced something like this before.

"Thorin, lad, everything will work out. In the meantime, just do what you're best at— be Kili's number one fan."

I can't hold back a small laugh at the title he has given me. After watching Kili play is first game, I was hooked. I was, without a doubt, the loudest person in the gymnasium during the events, whether they be actual games or award ceremonies. Fili eventually gave up on trying to out-voice me. More than once, he had to apologize to those sitting around us for my loud behavior. A bit unprofessional for a lawyer? Maybe. But, I was the proudest pseudo-parent in that gymnasium, every single time.

"C'mon. I'll buy lunch." Dori says, patting my back.

"He got sick during his treatment- twice. The technician said he was given something for the nausea. It should be taking affect soon. He's had a rough day. Right now, the best thing is to just go home and rest."

"We'll try. See you tomorrow."

Bilbo smiles sadly and disappears into the back of his office.

Kili's now bald head is covered by his beanie. One arm rests firm in my grip; the other adjusts his mask. When he loops it securely around both ears, he nods and we start walking. I place my free hand on his back for extra support.

"Do you need a break?" I ask Kili when we reach the first floor. He nods and I lead him to a chair in the lobby. Kili sits down onto the poorly cushioned seat with an exhausted sigh. I spot a water cooler across the large room.

"Do you want some water?"

Again, Kili nods his head. "Please."

I grab a paper cup from the stack beside the cooler and fill it up. As I turn, my eyes catch a glance at a person standing a few feet away. I recognize the friendly face and walk over.

"Excuse me?"

"Fili! I haven't seen you in a while." Aragorn smiles and offers his hand.

I shake it, somewhat returning the smile. "It's good to see you, though I wish it were in better terms."

Aragorn nods in agreement. "Hospitals are not my first choice of social gatherings."

"Your wife's father, correct?"

Aragorn nods in acknowledgment. "It's been quite the battle, but he is being released tomorrow."

"That's great. I'm sure it will be quite the relief."

Aragorn nods his head in agreement. "How's your brother?"

Might as well tell the story. "His tumor grew immensely. He is now having radiation treatments- once a day, five days a week for at least four weeks. We are on week two now. In fact, he just ended a session."

Aragorn's face grows solemn. "I am sorry to hear that."

"This is actually his," I say indicating the cup in my hand. "Would you like to meet him?"

"Is that wise?"

Probably not. "I don't think he would mind. He's tired and weak, but that's nothing new these days."

"Well, then, I would very much like to meet this young man."

Aragorn follows me across the room. Kili is still in the chair, eyes closed and arms folded across his chest.

"Hey, Kee." I rub his arm, gently jostling him. "I've got your water. There's someone here I want you to meet."

Kili's eyes open and he reaches for the water. He pulls up the mask, takes a sip, and sits up straighter.

"Aragorn, this is my brother, Kili. Kili, this is Aragorn, a friend of dad's from high school. We coincidentally met one day on the elevators here. He's a good guy, Kee."

"Nice to meet you," Aragorn says to my brother.

"You too." Kili's eyes widen a little. "You knew our dad?"

Aragorn smiles. "I did. We were good friends, then he moved here. He was a great man."

This news makes me smile. I can remember more about our father than Kili. And they're all good memories. Kili doesn't have many memories. He enjoys hearing the stories people tell him about our dad though. He doesn't get many often because Thorin is too sensitive about the subject of our parents, and he has right to be.

The hint of a smile shows from behind Kili's mask.

"Your brother has told me much about you. I am glad that I can now connect a face when I hear about the reckless kid he proudly calls brother."

Kili offers a weak laugh. "Sounds about right."

I smile as Kili meets my eye. His eyes seem almost happy. Then he yawns.

Aragorn catches on quickly. "Well, I need to be getting back upstairs. And you, young man, look like you need some sleep."

"Twelve hours should do." Kili says.

Aragorn laughs lightly. "Sounds refreshing. Well, safe travels home. Keep fighting, young warrior. See you later."

I help Kili to the car and he sleeps the ride home. I practically carry him into the house. His full weight is leaning against me for support. I slowly drag him inside and deposit him on the living room couch, per his request. I grab his bucket and a few blankets and wrap him up. He hands me his mask and I lay it on the table.

"Will you stay?" Kili asks, not looking up.

Kili scoots over and I sit down. I put an arm around his shoulders. He leans into the embrace and wraps an arm around me, snuggling close. His head rests on my chest and soon his breathing becomes deep and even. Moments later, I close my eyes and join him in his slumber.

Knock, knock.

"Come in."

Fili's head pops around the corner of my bedroom door. I close my laptop and place it on my desk.

"Kili threw up again, but I finally got him calmed down enough to sleep." Fili informs me as he sits on my bed.

I nod my head in acknowledgment. When I came home from work, I found the youngest bent over a bucket and the eldest supporting him as he heaved. After dinner, Kili had shown me his head. I tried to hide my reaction, but couldn't hold back a startled gasp at his now bald head. Then, the shock of the red, burnt-looking flesh that is a result of the radiation certainly didn't aid my reaction. I covered up as quickly as possible, but it still impacted Kili deeply. I spent the next thirty minutes trying to console him. I thought he finally got himself together, but apparently I was wrong.

"He knows you didn't mean it," Fili says as if he can read my thoughts.

"I hope so." I raise my eyes from the wooden desk top. "Are you ok?"

Fili looks a little taken back by my question, but then a sheepish look comes over his face. "That's what I came in here to ask you."

I know he is referring to this morning. So, I tell him the truth. "I'm sorry about leaving this morning. I just really needed somewhere quiet to think. None of this seems real."

We sit in silence for a few minutes, then Fili asks where I went.

"Do you remember that lake I used to take you and Kili to when you were kids?"

Fili smiles as he reminisces. "Yeah, I remember. Caught my first fish there."

I smile too, remembering that day. It was late May. School had just let out, and to celebrate, the three of us went fishing. Fili was nine, Kili six. The sun was bright in the sky and the temperature was rising. Birds were singing and bees were buzzing as they flew among the blooming flowers. All was well.

I demonstrated how to bait a hook and cast a line. After a few practice trials, Fili was determined to do it himself, which of course, he did so perfectly. Kili on the other hand was too excited to pay attention to the short lesson, so I ended up helping him. I sat on the bank of the lake, Kili on my lap with his fishing pole in hand. I placed both my hands over his to steady the shaking. I tried to tell him that he needed to keep the pole still because if it moved a lot the fish would get scared and go away. Again, he didn't listen.

Twenty minutes later, Fili started yelling in excitement because his pole started jerking wildly. Kili jumped off my lap and started screaming for Fili to "get the fiss out of the wataw!" I told Kili to hush or the fish wouldn't come out. He closed his mouth, though it was a struggle, and continued to jump up and down. I told Fili to reel it in slowly and then when it got close, he picked up the pace. A twelve inch bass popped out of the water, scales shimmering in the sunlight. Fili's smile was priceless.

I took the fish off the hook for fear of Fili cutting himself on the hook or the fish. After careful instruction, I let Fili hold the fish. Kili ran up immediately and asked if he could touch it. I nodded my head and Kili reached a tentative hand up to the fish. As soon as his small fingers made contact with the scales, Fili jerked his hands and gave a short yell. Kili screamed and ran away, attaching himself to the back of my leg. Fili found it hilarious. I gave him a look but didn't get much farther because it was actually quite funny. I finally got Kili calmed down and Fili apologized. A few months later, Kili's fear of fish was cured.

"That's where I went today. I sat there on the bank and thought about that day."

"Seems like another life, doesn't it?" Fili says.

I silently nod my head in agreement. "So, you still haven't answered my question."

Fili's shoulders tense. "I'm ok."

My only response is an intense stare and my I know you're lying look.

Fili places his head in his hands. "I was so scared. I didn't know what I was doing. Kili was comforting me." He points to himself and gives a sarcastic laugh. "I should've been comforting him, but I couldn't. I'm rubbish."

I lean over and put my hand on his knee. "Fili, no."

"I just carried him to the car and when we got home, I made him sleep. I haven't said anything. I couldn't. Why couldn't I do more?" Fili's voice is rising.

I lean forward and place my hands on Fili's shoulders and shake him lightly. "Fili, stop. You did what you could and it was enough. It will always be enough. Kili doesn't need someone giving him words all the time. Sometimes he just needs a kind gesture. He appreciates that more than anything. You did well today- better than me, that's for sure. I am so sorry. I wish I could have been there, but I am so proud of you, Fili. You have no idea how proud I am of you." I pause swallowing the sudden lump in my throat before continuing. "And I know, without a doubt, that your parents are overwhelmed at your heart and willingness and love for your brother. They may not be here with us, but I know that they are so proud of you, Fili." I hear my own voice cracking at the mention of my sister and brother-in-law.

Fili wipes away a tear that is trailing down his cheek, but it is quickly replaced by another. And another.

I cup the back of my nephew's neck with one hand. He takes in a couple of deep breaths and gets his emotions in check.

"I know you have court tomorrow, so I'll just say goodnight and be on my way."

"There isn't anything else you want to discuss?" I ask.

"No, that was all."

I'm not positive, but I think he may be hiding something. It's too late to bother him about it though.

"Well, goodnight, Uncle." Fili says standing and walking to the door.

"Goodnight, Fili."

I lay on my bed for another hour, still nowhere near sleeping. I grab a book from my desk and flip through the pages until I find what I am looking for. When I find it, I take the photograph out and smile.

A toothless, little Kili is grinning widely. His hair is soaking wet, brown curls sticking out in different directions. And in his grip is a small fish; the first he ever caught. It wasn't nearly the size of Fili's, but he was still so proud of it. He even tried to scare Fili with it, returning the favor from when Fili had caught his two months earlier.

"You'll be happy again." I whisper as I run a finger over Kili's happy face. "I promise."