"Don't move. You hear me? Do not move."

I race down the hall to the bathroom and grab a wash cloth. I quickly wet the cloth in the sink and run back down the hall. Kili is doubled over, once again, retching. His arms are shaking from the effort to hold himself up. His second week of radiation ended two hours ago and so far, the day has been nothing but terrible.

The first two times he got sick, I was there to help him. But, unfortunately, I had been downstairs this time. Kili had gone up to his room to sleep. A weird feeling in the back of my mind told me to go upstairs, so I did, and this is what I found.

When he stops, I help him lean against the wall. Kili takes the cloth and holds it against his mouth a moment then places it on his head.

I stand up and start pacing in small circles- back and forth. I put my hand to my head and rub my temples. "Why were you even out of bed?" The harsh tone of my voice is evidence of my frustration.

Kili doesn't answer quickly enough for me, and as soon as I start to yell again, I hear the barest whisper. "I had to pee."

"Well, then—"

I stop. The shame in Kili's voice registers in my rattled brain. I quickly glance down and then bend down to face Kili.

"Hey, look, I'm sorry. It's ok. Just take a shower, it'll be fine."

An embarrassed tear makes its way down Kili's cheek and I rub it away with my thumb.

"Helpless," Kili mumbles. He smacks the floor beside him.

"Hey. Stop it." I grab his hand.

He tries to hit the floor again, but he surrenders to my grasp, too weak to fight back. "Fee," he whispers, then collapses into my side, tears falling down his face.

I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. I feel his grip tighten as he pulls me closer. I rub circles on his back, fighting back tears of my own.

"All right." I push Kili off of me and look him in the eye. "Go shower. I'll clean this up here, then bring you some clothes. Ok?"

Honestly, I'm not even sure if he can stay standing long enough to shower. But, he desperately needs one. I help him up and when I hear the shower running, I go downstairs to the utility closet and get some cleaning supplies. Once the mess is cleaned and the supplies are back in their rightful places, I go to Kili's room and grab some clothes.

The water is still running when I knock on the door.

"I'm just going to put these on the counter."

"Ok," Kili answers me through the door.

A few minutes later, a fully dressed Kili steps through the door. He walks to his room and disappears for a moment then comes back out and follows me to the stairs.

"You forgot my socks." He says, elbowing me in the side.

"Oh, my bad. Can't have your toes freezing off." I wrap an arm around his shoulders and hear him laugh softly beside me. I join in as we make our way down the stairs.

"Where's Fee?"

I look up from the table, where I sit drinking my morning coffee and reading the paper. "Sleeping. I have nowhere to be today, so I told him to take the day off."

Kili looks dead on his feet. The morning of his twelfth treatment and he is barely capable of standing on his own. I haven't told him yet, but Fili and I have both discussed this predicament with the doctor. Doctor Baggins is arranging for a wheelchair to be made available at the hospital entrance conveniently for Kili. I am preparing for his protests, but it is only for his good. The last thing Kili needs is to collapse onto the hard floor and do more damage to his already battered body. In a few days, a wheelchair will also conveniently appear here, at home, for personal use. None of us are looking forward to it, but it is inevitable for Kili's safety.

"Sit." I order. He does so. I pour him a small glass of orange juice and, to my surprise, he drinks it.

"Are you ready to go?" I ask when he pushes his glass away, indicating that he isn't going to drink all of it.

He nods his head. I grab my car keys and we go.

Sure enough, the wheelchair is waiting in the lobby for us upon arrival. And I have never been more grateful, for I basically carried my nephew from the car. Kili doesn't even protest when I tell him to sit. He simply stares at it a few seconds and sighs, accepting the help.

I push the chair off the elevator and down the hall.

"Hello," Bilbo greets us as we enter the room.

"Hi," Kili says in response. I nod my head in greeting.

"Do you feel like walking back or do you trust my driving skills?" Bilbo addresses Kili.

Kili laughs weakly at the doctor's offer. "It's a rental. Can't have any damage done to it yet."

Bilbo laughs and helps Kili stand.

"See ya soon," Kili says as he walks away.

"I'll be here."

I wheel the chair over to a wide space, made especially for someone to park a wheelchair, and sit in the chair beside it.

A few minutes later, Bilbo takes the seat across from me.

"He didn't protest at the chair. He looked at it a moment then willingly sat down. He knows he's getting too weak. He accepts it."

Bilbo nods his head in agreement. "I've seen it with his visits every morning. These new obstacles form in his path and he accepts them. For a while, I was afraid- as was Fili- that he wasn't going to be willing to fight. But, he proves himself every time. But, lately, he just seems to accept things and go with them."

Though I haven't spent nearly as much time with Kili to notice the depth of what Bilbo is telling me, I have noticed some. "I know. What should we do?"

"Just give him encouragement and support. Make him fight, but let him know it is ok to ask for help when he needs it. And, believe me, he needs it. He's strong, but he cannot keep putting these things aside and over-doing it. He isn't used to being so weak, and now that he is, he doesn't know how to handle himself."

I nod my head in agreement and thank him for his time. He disappears and a few minutes later, he returns with Kili. The doctor hands me a blanket, which I wrap around Kili's small frame before he sinks gratefully into the chair. Kili brings the blanket up higher, half covering his swollen face. Bilbo asks Kili if he needs anything before leaving. Kili shakes his head no and I wave goodbye.

"Taxi service is ending for the day." I say, stopping in the lobby.

Kili looks up at me. "I'd tip you, but it seems I have no cash."

"I guess I can let it slide, considering you didn't complain about my steering." I come around to the front. The orderly takes hold of the handles on the back. "C'mon."

I hold tight to Kili as we walk to the car. Halfway there, Kili trips over his own feet.

"Whoa there!" My reflexes kick in and I grab Kili before he can fall. In the past two and a half weeks, he has lost eighteen pounds and his muscle tone. His already small frame is nothing compared to the skeleton he is now. Without a word, I sweep an arm under his legs and one around his back.

Kili startles as the concrete disappears beneath him. "What are—"

"Don't worry about it."

Kili feels weightless in my arms. It scares me. He mumbles a protest as I walk, but after a few attempts, he gives up. I put him down when we get to the car, he opens his door and gets in. He puts his seatbelt on and ignores me the ride home.

"So, when do I get my own?" He asks when we arrive home.

"What?" I ask, trying to hide the fact that I know what he's talking about.

"My new wheels."

I unbuckle my seatbelt and look at him before opening the door. "Saturday afternoon."

"Can we take it out for a test drive?"

I know for health reasons, Kili really shouldn't be spending too much time outside or with the general public for frequent periods of time. The trips to the hospital are about the limit of his mobility. But, if he bundles up and covers his face properly, then maybe I can sneak him out for a while.

"Yeah, we'll take it for a test drive."

"Kee?" I knock on his bedroom door. "You awake?"

"Yes." He answers through the closed door.

I sit on the side of his bed and rub his back. "You feel ok?"

He's lying on his stomach, arms wrapped tight across his abdomen. His head is turned away from me, but I can see the slight grimace on his face.

"I'll be fine." He mumbles into his pillow.

"I had an idea that might get you out of the house a little longer one day next week." I prompt him.

"Appreciate the thought, but right now, I don't care." Kili says, somewhat miserably.

I planned for this though, so I use my secret weapon. "I'm going to meet Éowyn at—"

Kili pushes himself onto his back. I hold back a laugh. I knew that would work.

"Continue." He says, giving me his full attention.

"As I was saying," I continue. "Éowyn is flying in for Thanksgiving next Wednesday, and I'm meeting her at the airport. If you're up for it, I'll sneak you out and you can come with me."

In truth, there will not be any sneaking. I plan on asking Thorin Tuesday evening, so he can base his opinion off of Kili's health status.

"Ok," Kili says, eyes wide. "I'm coming."

I laugh at his eagerness. "All right, Romeo. I'll tell her you'll be there."

Kili swats at my arm and then releases a yawn. I make sure he doesn't need anything then leave him to sleep.

When I get back to my room, I grab my phone and call Éowyn.

"Kili says he'll come."

"Great! I just finished his gift today, actually. Did you get everything else planned out?"

"Not yet. I still have to get Thorin's permission to take Kili to the airport."

"But you just said…" Éowyn pauses, realizing what I've done. I hear a somewhat frustrated sigh, then she continues. "Fili, how could you? What if he gets sick? What if he doesn't get to come? He'll be so upset. You might be getting his hopes up for nothing."

In truth, I have thought of this. And, me being the stubborn man I am, have chosen to completely push that option out of the way. "I know, I know. But, he might also fight harder these next few days knowing he will be rewarded."

"And if your uncle says no?"

I rub my hand over my face and shrug my shoulders. "I'll deal with his wrath later. Or I can just blame you."

"Fili! I would very much like to make a good first impression!"

I laugh at her reaction. "And I'm sure you will."

I hear a knock on my door. "Hold on." I tell Éowyn over the phone.

Thorin peaks his head in. "Dinner is ready. I'm going to check on Kili."

"Ok."

He notices the phone in my hand and raises an eyebrow. I bite the inside of my cheeks but it doesn't stop the redness from coloring them. He smirks and winks before closing the door behind him.

"I can feel you blushing through the phone, Fili Durin."

"Sorry." I laugh out of embarrassment.

"Call me when you find out anything. Go eat your dinner."

"Ok." Then before I know it the words slip out of my mouth.

"Good night. Love you."

I freeze. My mouth opens and closes. I can't seem to get enough air in my lungs and then I stop breathing all together.

But then—

"I love you, too."

And it is the most natural thing in the world.

I walk into the kitchen to find Kili and Thorin seated at the table, plates in front of them, but not eating.

"Sorry, had a phone call." I say, taking my seat.

Kili bends his head down and brings his fork up to his mouth, trying to hide his grin. I roll my eyes at him and take a bite of my chicken.

"Kili says you plan on picking her up at the airport." Thorin says, conversationally.

Thinking Kili has revealed my secret plan, I shoot him a glare. His eyes widen and his mouth opens slightly. I didn't say anything, his eyes tell me.

Thorin notices my reaction though and asks what the problem is.

Busted. "I was going to ask you later, I swear it." I look up and shrink under Thorin's warning gaze. "I sort of told Kili he could come with me to the airport. Then the three of us are going to have lunch before I take her to her uncle's."

"I don't know." Thorin says.

"You have to let me go! I need to go!" Kili protests. Probably not helping the cause, but whatever.

"Kili," Thorin gives my brother a warning. "An airport is not the safest place for you to be right now. And then, you'll be eating after, and that's more people and unwanted germs."

"I'll wear my mask. I'll wear ten layers of clothes. I'll wear a space suit, if I have to!" Kili is nearly begging.

"And we can eat in the car." I add.

"Isn't that a bit impolite when you're driving your girlfriend around?" Thorin asks, taking a drink of his water.

"She won't mind. She just really wants Kili to be there."

Kili nods his head enthusiastically. I look at my uncle, silently asking him to say yes.

Thorin takes one more look at Kili and caves. "All right, as of this moment, you can go."

I keep my face void of my complete feeling of relief. Kili makes an excited exclamation.

"But," Thorin immediately adds. Of course, there's always something more. "If you aren't feeling well Tuesday evening and your treatment doesn't go well Wednesday morning, you are coming home and can meet with them later. Got it?"

Kili reluctantly nods his head. "Yes."

I give Thorin a silent thank you with my eyes. He gives me a silent we'll discuss this later.

I pick up my fork and resume eating, bracing myself for the conversation we are sure to have later.

"Take a seat." Thorin directs me, pointing to a chair in front of his desk. I feel more like one of his clients, sitting here in his office, but it is appropriate. We are going to discuss legal matters, after all.

I clasp my hands together and wait for the oncoming storm. I have spent the time between now and dinner trying to prepare myself; thinking of what I'm going to say and how I'm going to plead my case. I almost pride myself for the defense I have brought up, but I know that what hope I have will soon dissipate once Thorin begins his lecture.

Thorin stands and walks to a cabinet, filing something away. Then sits back down at his desk, types a few more things on the keyboard, and closes the computer. He turns his chair and rolls up to sit directly in front of me; hands clasped together on top of his desk, piercing eyes on me.

His gestures are mimicking mine, but I squirm under his glare. It occurs to me that this glare is the reason he wins so many cases- one look at him and he stares into your soul. It's enough to make you confess to anything.

"Why are you doing this?" He asks me. Simple question, but so much depth.

"For Kili." I can tell that he wants me to elaborate, so I clear my throat and continue. "He needs something to do. He's bored. He gets out of the house for an hour a day, five times a week, and during that time, he experiences misery. He needs something to lift his spirits. He needs a change of scenery. He needs to spend time with happy people."

Thorin's eyes grow darker at my last comment. But, I don't care, because it's the truth.

"And you believe exposing him to unclean air and surrounding him by infinite health hazards is the way to help that?" Thorin asks, in his lawyer voice. He is no longer playing the role of uncle.

I sit up straighter and face him with a glare of my own. "He will not be overly exposed. He will be very well-protected, because I will be there. I will not let anything near him and I will not let him do anything stupid. Kili needs somebody to show him he isn't wasting away. He needs to be happy again, whether you want to be or not."

The last sentence was not part of my plan earlier, but right now, I really don't care.

Thorin doesn't like it either. "You have no right to say that. You believe I'm not happy? You're correct. I'm not. I spend every waking second of my life and then some, thinking about you boys. Are you safe? Are you warm? Are you having a good day? Are you having any problems that I can help with?"

I flinch as Thorin smacks his desk and raises his voice even more. "And now Kili is very, very sick and there is nothing I can do about it. He is miserable. Fili, you are miserable. And I cannot fix it. I have no choice but to watch as nature takes its course: watch Kili struggle to even stand; watch you balance your future career and play nurse; watch Kili become a shell of the person he used to be; watch everything fall apart and continue down the hill, racing for the rock bottom. That makes me very unhappy, Fili. The reason for my unhappiness is due to the fact that I can no longer ensure your and your brother's happiness. So, do not tell me that I do not want to be happy again. Do not tell me that I find pleasure in Kili's unhappiness. You know nothing of what you speak."

I swallow hard. My head is screaming to apologize, but my mouth has other plans.

"Kili is going to the airport, whether you give me permission to take him or not."

I realize my threat is beyond inappropriate on so many levels right now. My guilty conscience will get the best of me later. Right now, I'm still not ready to quit arguing.

"Is that so?" Thorin says. "It would be difficult to go to the airport if you didn't have a car. Wouldn't it?"

"Kili is getting out of this house; he is going to enjoy it, and he is going to be happy."

Thorin turns away and resumes his work. "Case closed. You're dismissed." He growls.

I throw the chair back a little too hard and exit. Kili walks out of the living room at the same time.

"Going for a run," I hold up a hand, silently telling Kili to shut up. "Don't follow me."