A/N: A heartfelt thank you to those of you sticking with this story. :) I appreciate each and every review, alert, and favorite. To those who've asked, I am definitely a HEA kind of writer. Their road will not be all rainbows and unicorns, but I endeavor to make it honest and real. But for now, Killian is awake, and the crew is ready to get the truck out of Neverland. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 4

Hard Departures

"You're awake," I stated dumbly. Killian's eyes crinkled as his smiled widened.

"Don't let that stop you, love," he breathed before pulling my face back down to his. I felt his fingers tangle in the hair at the base of my head and his hook trace down my spine, coming to rest on my hip. His lips plundered – there was no other word for it – while he pressed down on my hip to bring our lower halves more snugly together. Someone was apparently very happy to see me.

With a bit of effort, I pulled my head back, "Wait, stop…we're not –" I protested, distantly remembering our audience and that he had been practically dead only a moment before. Either he didn't hear me, or he didn't care, because next thing I knew, he'd flipped us so that I was now below the length of his long, toned body. Grinding his hips into mine, I was finding it harder and harder to care about anything else, no pun intended, especially with the way his teeth were nipping at my lower lip.

"I'd call this quite the success, wouldn't you, Dearie?"

The sound of Gold's voice was more effective than a bucket of ice water. Killian's entire frame tightened and the blue of his eyes darkened as his awareness returned.

"-alone," I finished saying.

Killian pushed away from me to stand. I was pleasantly surprised to notice the strange peeling sensation was missing as he broke physical contact, though the anchor in my heart tugged. He swung his gaze back to me at the exact moment I'd felt it and his hand lifted to his own heart.

I sat up and fixed a gentle expression on my face, trying to calm him even before I knew what reaction he would take. "How do you feel?" I inquired softly.

He looked between me and Gold – who was far, far too pleased with himself – before stepping across to the sidebar and finding the one bottle which still contained an amount of dark liquid. After a particularly large swig, he recapped the bottle and turned to face us, his eyes still a bit too wide. "Tell me," he ordered, though his tone was resigned.

My gaze flicked to Gold who was apparently doing his very best impersonation of a grinning statute. "Can you give us some privacy?" I hinted. His eyes narrowed. "Please?"

"Very well. I'll just share the happy news with our crew that their Captain is returned, shall I?" Gold sauntered out the door, shutting it tightly behind him.

The silence in the cabin was heavy as fog. I imagined the ticking sound of a time bomb, but I had no idea how many seconds were left in the countdown. After mentally noting a full minute, I peeked over to Killian.

"Bloody hell, Swan; please explain to me what in the blazes the Crocodile was doing in my quarters, watching us while we – "

"While we what, exactly?" I quirked my eyebrow. His anger rolled over my skin in a tangible way, raising my own indignation.

His hand ruffled through his already rumpled hair as he expelled a loud breath. I stood and moved to face him, crossing my arms defensively. "I can imagine you have a lot of questions, and I promise we'll sort this all out. But we're still in a bit of a time crunch. In short, you nearly died in the Dark Hollow. Gold helped me revive you. Everyone's up on deck, including Henry, and soon we'll use Pan's shadow to get us all the hell home."

The shame coursing through me as I omitted more than a little bit of information nearly chocked me. I didn't even know until I started talking that I wasn't ready to give him the full truth of what I'd done. Perhaps I was just as cowardly as Rumpelstiltskin used to be, but old fears are hard to get rid of. As I stared into Killian Jones' impossible eyes, my heart literally beating with his, I had never been so terrified in my life, not even when I thought he was dead.

"I'm going to need a lot more details than that, princess."

Princess. My chest pinched unexpectedly at his reversal to using that pet name. It was false, a wall, and I hated that he was hiding behind it. I swallowed before letting him see a bit behind my own wall, even if I wasn't ready to talk about it. "I know."

His eyes softened and I felt some of the tension drain from his body. Lifting his hand, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and smiled. It was his sweet smile; the one I'd only ever seen him direct toward me. "You revived me, eh love? Is there something you want to tell me?"

I stared at him, unblinking. There were a great many things I should tell him. But something I particularly wanted to tell him? "I'm glad you're alive." I smiled.

His smile curved into his infamous smirk; the one he'd carefully honed over centuries as an attack on the female gender, no matter what realm they called home. "Glad, are you? Is that how you woke me? With your…glad-ness?" I tracked the way his tongue punctuated each syllable of the word against his gleaming teeth. A renewed surge of heat burned under my skin, and I knew it had nothing to do with magic this time. Or maybe it did. Gold did say we'd experience each other's feelings. I mentally cringed. This is going to be exceedingly complicated.

"Look, Killian…" I started to say, but was distracted by the way his eyes rose. Oh right, I'd used his actual name. I cleared my suddenly dry throat. "Um…things are kind of complicated at the moment. I am very happy that you're alright. And we do have more to talk about. But all I can really handle right now is getting my son and my family back home safely. I am so thankful for all your help, and it would be pretty silly for me to deny at this point that I have feelings for you. I just," I sighed, "…can that be enough…for now?"

He used his hook to lift one of my hands and turn it palm side up. His fingers traced looping circles over the flesh as his eyes locked with mine, gauging my reaction. "Something must have happened indeed for you to suddenly be so receptive to my touch. I've no idea how long I slumbered, but I thought it was the most wonderful dream when I awoke to your attentions. I know you're scared, love. And while you've always been an open book, I can tell this is something more. But you need not fear me. I won't push you."

"Thank you," I whispered, moving to pull my hand back in a way that I hoped he wouldn't take offense to. It was too much. His eyes, his words, his touch...I needed to escape.

"But Emma," he cautioned, "I don't share well." My brow raised again in question. "You haven't admitted to anything, and I won't ask you to; however, I woke with the strangest feeling that," he paused and shook his head, before finishing in a whisper, "…that you're mine." He stared at me, a sweet sort of shyness reflecting in his sapphire orbs. "If I'm wrong, then I beg you to leave me with my delusions for as long as possible," he grinned. "But, if I'm right, then please be considerate with your…affections."

Neal. He was still worried about Neal. The question I had been ignoring in my own conscience was whether or not he should be. I considered his words for a moment, thinking that part of me had also claimed Killian as mine during our bonding. Could Neal even be a factor anymore?

"Okay," I whispered.

I was hit again with a surge of shame, or was it embarrassment? The problem was, I couldn't tell if it was my emotion or his. With my hand on the door knob, I spoke to the floor, "We'll need your help to get the Jolly Roger into the open seas before using Pan's shadow. When you feel up to it, please join us on deck."

"I shall be along momentarily," he replied, his voice returning to the purely business-like tones I recognized he used when he was hiding his true feelings. I wondered how he would take it when he found out his façade would no longer work on me. No matter what tone or expression he used as a mask, our connection would always be truthful.

But according to Gold, the same can be said about him feeling your truths, too.

I donned my own mask – stubborn denial – and slipped from his cabin. I was almost able to ignore the tug on my heart. Almost.

E&K&E&K&E&K

The scene on deck was perhaps the very antithesis of what one would expect of a pirate ship. Henry was curled up on a blanket, listening to something Mary Margaret was telling him while she let her fingers gently caress his hair. Regina stood watch nearby, speaking to no one. I wondered if she was aware of the naked envy in her eyes as she watched the pair of them. David and Neal were engrossed in conversation by the top rail, and Gold was…nowhere in sight.

"Where's Gold?" I asked Mary Margaret as I approached the blanket.

"Emma!" she exclaimed. "Is Hook alright?" Her eyes switched from concerned to interested as she peered over my shoulder.

"Right as rain, milady, and I thank you for the concern."

My heart literally skipped a beat at the sound of his voice. Oh this was bad. I closed my eyes, but I could still measure his nearness in my mind. With each soft thud of his boots, the swell of recognition in my chest threatened to spill over.

Mary Margaret quickly stood and began assessing Killian's condition for herself. I was nearly bowled over by the jealous stab I felt while watching her run her hands over his chest, then placing her palm over his forehead. To think she could touch him so easily, with no more thought than if she were doting on Henry, was maddening.

I caught Killian winking at me, the corner of his mouth lifting in a crooked grin. I scowled in return. "Didn't Gold tell you he was alright?"

Mary Margaret smiled, clearly satisfied that our Captain was in one piece. "Well, yes, but seeing is believing after all."

I shook my head at the irony of a fairy tale character making that statement. "So where is he? We've got everything we need; shouldn't we get going?"

By this point, our little assembly had grown to include all of our crew save the Dark One. Neal glared at Killian, but chose to hold his opinion, answering me instead, "He's gone to get some Dreamshade; said he'll need it for David's cure."

"And you thought that was a good idea?" I retorted, disbelieving that Rumpelstiltskin had any positive intentions for gathering a known poison.

"In this, we'll have to trust him," David said as he reached over to shake Killian's hand with the barest hint of a smile. "Glad to have you back."

"Thanks, mate. Are we ready to set sail once everyone is returned?" His gaze swept over the deck of his beloved ship. "It's nearly nightfall; we'll need to leave soon if we intend to go tonight."

"Just about. We've got Pan's shadow over here, but I'm still not clear on how you plan to control it," David's voice grew fainter as he led Killian toward the main sail, Henry lagging behind them. That strange weight in my chest pulsed with each step that took Killian further from me, but it was not nearly as noticeable as it had been while he was still unconscious.

"So you've decided, then," Neal spoke quietly. I'd momentarily forgotten that he was there. Turning toward him, I opened my mouth, but couldn't find what to say. Logically, I knew I didn't really have a choice anymore; how could I be bound to one man but make a life with another? Maybe, before the Dark Hollow, there was still a chance that my heart would have decided on Neal, but even then I was torn between them. Now, I wasn't sure if I'd ever know what the natural outcome would've been.

"It's complicated," I said, repeating the words I'd used with Killian.

He was quiet for a long moment, looking around at the rest of our group. Looking anywhere but at me. "You told me you loved me."

My heart clenched. I was pretty sure it was a genuine emotion, but I could see Killian watching us intently out of the corner of my eye. There was no way he could hear us, was there? I took a deep, steadying breath before responding. I hadn't expected this conversation to come so quickly. "I do love you Neal, but not in the way you want me to. You're the father of my child, my first love, and when I thought I'd lost you again, it was one of the worst moments of my life. I will always love you, but I'm not in love with you."

"So you're in love with Hook?" His eyes darkened. I'd seen that expression enough times in our past to know it was hurt, not anger that caused the change. "I saw you at the Dark Hollow when you thought he died. I saw your magic. What was that, Em?"

"I don't know. I don't know what I feel for him."

He scoffed. "But you're choosing him."

"I'm giving it a chance. I'm choosing me. And Henry." I looked over at my son, who was peering through Killian's spyglass at things the pirate pointed out along the shoreline. As if he could feel my eyes on him, the pirate in question suddenly met my gaze and a misplaced jolt of jealousy rioted through me. His emotion, I realized, noting that Neal had sidled closer to me. The feeling spiked dramatically when Neal picked up my hand. I yanked it back as if he were burning me. The hurt in Neal's eyes deepened. "I'm sorry," I gasped. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Then don't say never, Em. You don't have to make me any promises, but don't completely give up on us. I won't." He walked away before I could respond.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mary Margaret took Neal's place, picking innocuously at my mood. Her question was one a friend or a mother would ask, and as she had played both roles in my life, I wasn't sure which one she was offering me at the moment. I didn't really want to talk to either. I was done talking for the day.

"It's complicated," I said once more. My apparent comment of the day.

"Are you alright?" She tried again, this time clearly in mother-mode.

I smiled at her, reminding myself that she would have been there all twenty-eight years of my life making sure I was always alright if she could've been. "I will be."

"He's back! He's got Tinkerbell with him," Henry suddenly shouted, the spyglass firmly attached to his right eye as he pointed to the approaching figures of Gold and a much more petite person.

I moved to Henry's side, which just so happened to put me only a few feet from Killian. So near, yet so far. I shouldn't have been able to detect his scent – ocean air, leather, rum, and something spicy that was uniquely him – but I could. I had an overwhelming urge to reach over and grab his hand, craving a connection. My pulse rate jumped and my breaths turned to small pants. What the hell was wrong with me? Fear warred with whatever else my body was making me feel.

He had to sense what I was feeling. It felt like I was projecting my reaction with all the subtlety of a bullhorn, but Henry - who was directly beside me - continued his watch oblivious to my presence. My panic increased. This was going to drive me insane! The abrupt brush of leather over my bare arms caused me to jerk my head to the side. Intense blue eyes blazing with what could only be the same fire I was experiencing met my green gaze. "Easy, love," he whispered. Taking my hand, he positioned us so that we appeared to be looking out over the water in the direction Gold and the fairy were advancing, hiding our clasped palms from the rest of the group. His calloused flesh – roughened from years of handling sail lines and swords– felt like a soothing balm to my skin. The building anxiety expelled as swiftly and gently as a summer breeze.

Neither of us spoke as our breaths slowed to a normal rate. The comforting thrum of magical current vibrated between our palms. Whatever it was that responded so desperately a moment before was temporarily appeased. I should have been relieved, but the enormity of what that reaction might mean only heightened my anxiety.

"Something tells me there is actually quite a lot you've yet to tell me, love." He lifted an eyebrow in my direction.

"Yeah," I admitted. "But it will have to wait."

"Shall I expect a repeat of whatever this was?" He asked, letting his thumb stroke over the back of my hand.

"I don't know. Probably?" I shrugged.

"If you two are quite finished standing around, I think it's time we attached the shadow to the sail." Regina's voice cut through our momentary respite, causing me to jerk my hand away from Killian's. I moved away from him quickly, nervous that lingering in his presence would reignite whatever it was that caused me to react the first time.

He shook his head slightly before following the queen to the main sail. Across the deck, I caught Neal watching me with that same narrowed look as before. He straightened as if he planned to approach me, but I was saved by the arrival of his father. Gold attempted to engage him in conversation, but his gaze remained fixed on me.

"Can they really make the Jolly Roger fly?" Henry interrupted.

I looked at him, really looked at him. His face brimmed with excitement, radiating his pure goodness. He'd been through hell over the past week, but you'd almost never tell by looking at him. Only the traces of fatigue around his eyes gave away the ordeal. Catching both Killian and Neal watching us, I pledged that whatever happened once we returned to Storybrooke, and whatever strange connection I'd forged with Captain Hook of all people, I would do my very best to never cause that inherent joy to leave my son's spirit. I smiled as I brushed my fingers through his hair. "What's the matter Kid, don't you believe in magic?"

He grinned, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "That's only for fairy tales."

My smile widened to match his. "Then I guess it's a good thing we're in one." Silently, we looked on at the menagerie of living characters working to unfurl the large sail and attach Peter Pan's shadow to the enormous canvas. Our newest edition, the legendary Tinkerbell, hurried to sprinkle pixie dust around the deck like a fantastical version of a flower girl.

"Miss Swan, a little help please?" Regina called.

Smiling at Henry once more, I said, "Come on, Kid. Let's go home."

A/N: I admit, I'm not used to working with such a large cast of characters, lol. I'm looking forward to the group returning to Storybrooke so I can pair down the ensemble. Reviews are loved and appreciated!