"You didn't even try! What the hell's wrong with you?!" Jane screeches at me as Bonnie tosses rocks at my head.
"You promised… you're a liar, a coward and a terrible friend..." Sarah whispers into my ear, causing me to thrash side to side looking for the fifteen year old.
"Just like me… We're essentially the same person inside, Clementine," Carver remarks mockingly; towering overhead as if he's got complete authority. "Don't try to deny it – I know it when I see it."
"NO!" I bite back defiantly, sweeping him away with my hands as Nick and Carlos appear before me.
"Why did you let me die, kid?! How could you have been so careless?!" Nick accuses, flicking me over like a grain of rice as Carlos comes to give me a scolding.
"Sarah… my daughter's dead because of your actions! I'll never forgive you!"
"I'm sorry!" I whimper as the two of them fade into darkness. "I – I didn't mean it…"
Two of my dear friends appear next, both boys shaking their heads in sadness.
"If you were fast enough, then I'd still be here. Did those games we played mean nothing to you?!" Duck insinuates, causing my eyes to water in anguish. I never wanted Duck to die!
"You could've stopped Kenny from killing me, but you didn't. You sat there and watched!" Ben states with a voice crack, causing my stomach to turn to knots.
"I loved you guys… I'm so sorry this happened to you…"
"You think any of that is good now?!" Kenny snarls along with Carley, who's just magically appeared beside him. "We helped save your ass more times than we could count! And for what?! So that you can sit there and let everyone you cared about die?! You think that just because you're a little girl, that you can just get people killed and no one will care?! That because you're "sorry" it'll all magically go away?! That's not how it works! I thought you were raised better than that…"
"Kenny… please…" I cry out, trying to place my hand on his arm but with no such luck. My hand goes straight through his ghostly apparition.
"You're a real piece of work, ain't ya?" Luke says behind me, along with Nate who's jumping around like a giddy teenager. "Runnin' off like that while everyone else stood their ground… We took a bullet for you!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha! I love it!" Nate sneers, shooting me in the leg with a pistol. "This is marvelous! Simply marvelous! Ain't it funny how even in death, I still win?!"
"Please… stop it…"
"He can't do that, Clem," Lilly says, now being the only person in the room. I instinctually reach out to her for a hug, but like Kenny I go right through her.
"Doesn't work that way… I taught you better than this – starving yourself, getting caught by Nate… Did those two years of surviving together just blow past your skull?"
My hands are shaking now, and there's no way of stopping it. I don't even think that I'm in control of my body anymore.
"Please, Lilly… I can't lose you, too…"
"Maybe you should've thought of that before leaving the canoe. I'm disappointed, Clementine…"
No… no, it can't be! Everyone I've cared about has either died or left me feeling extremely guilty about my actions.
Everyone except…
"Clementine!"
Fluttering my eyes open and waking up in a cold sweat, my sight adjusts to the environment surrounding me. Dark room, shelves everywhere, a small campfire… where am I? I don't remember getting here… in fact, I barely remember anything at all aside from Nate…
Oww….
Clutching onto my wound painfully, I turn my head to see who's talking to me. At first, all I see is a silhouette on the other side of the fire, but then I see the last person that I expected to be alive.
"L-Lee?!" I exclaim quietly, widening my eyes in surprise. "What… how are you…"
"It's just a bad dream, sweet pea."
Sitting up straighter, I wince as my wound contracts painfully with the movement. Taking a bullet… I forgot how much that hurts.
"Where's – "
"Dead," he explains quietly, folding his hands together and bending down slightly. "Nate's gone, don't worry. He won't be able to hurt you anymore. I took care of it. And don't worry about the bullet – it went clean through. It'll burn for a while, but you'll be fine."
Sitting in silence for a moment, I try to absorb everything that's happened. We're in some sort of grocery store by the looks of things, but that's not the important thing.
Who's still alive?
"Is Kenny… no…" I whisper sadly, watching as Lee's gaze lowers. He seems slightly more impacted by it than I thought he would be.
"I found him in Wellington with the rest of them… he's gone, Clem. Kenny, Jane, Mike and Bonnie… I couldn't find any survivors."
Rubbing my eyes, I shudder as the memories of that horrible day flood back to me. I hated myself for leaving, even though it was Lilly and Kenny who told me to go. If I had stayed, would none of that have happened?
If I had turned myself over to Nate, would all of my friends still be alive?
"Why would Nate do something like this?" I ask him, noticing that my stump is back. Thankfully, though, it looks as though Lee had set it up near my makeshift bed. I'm going to have to try and put it back on… and that may be a little difficult.
Seeming to know what I was looking at, Lee slowly walks over towards me and tries his luck with the prosthetic; rolling up the cuff of my jeans and putting my leg inside.
"Clem," he tells me, cringing as I wince in pain as he starts to work on it. "Sometimes, people don't always make sense."
"How come?" I probe, feeling like the inquisitive little girl that I used to be. I remember how I'd used to pepper this man with similar questions all the time back then.
Coughing violently, Lee shakes his head and pauses for a moment. I wonder if something happened to him recently – he looks as though he's hurting as well.
"Bad things happen to everyone… And it's hard to keep being yourself after they do," he explains, tightening some of the straps. "Does that feel a little bit snug? I'm kind of having trouble with this because of my arm."
"It's good, thanks," I tell him, with Lee nodding as he continues to try and fix it. I help him as he works. "I can't believe they're gone… I'm not sure if I made the right choice – doing what Lilly and Kenny said and just leaving like that."
Expecting an answer telling me that I made the right choice, and that my safety was the most important thing, I'm surprised when he gives me something else.
"Well, it's not like math, Clem," he says, shimmying the fake foot so that it's straight when we go to tighten the rest of it. "Sometimes there's not always a right answer."
"I hate math."
"Heh… me too, sweet pea."
It's weird, but Lee's treating me… differently. Not in a bad way at all, obviously, but it's almost as if he's seeing me as more of a friend than just some kid he needs to take care of. Perhaps it's the bond we've developed (a strained one at that), or maybe Lee's finally starting to see me as more mature. I've got the personality of an adult now.
"Part of growing up is doing what's best for the people you care about," he continues, as if reading my mind. "Even if sometimes… that means hurting someone else."
"I… I've hurt too many people already. I don't want to hurt anyone else…" I say sadly, watching as he tightens the last of the straps so they won't come loose (hopefully).
With his big, brown eyes he looks up at me with the saddest expression I've seen on him in a while.
"It's not that easy."
Lee… he knows that better than anybody. I can see it in his eyes – he still hasn't fully forgiven himself for everything that's happened.
"Well, that's all I can manage, unfortunately," Lee announces, standing up to examine our handiwork. "Once we find a safer place, then we might be able o take some more time with that thing. Could you try walking on it?"
"Sure," I agree, stumbling at first, but walking with this fake foot is just like riding a bicycle – you never forget how to do it. "Feels pretty good. Thanks, Lee."
"Don't mention it. How's about we have a look around here? There's gotta be some food left."
….
"Canned goods section," I announce, looking at the sign that hangs above our heads. There aren't a whole lot of food items for us to take, as we've already checked a bunch of other aisles that must have gotten raided a long time ago. "Think any of this stuff is still edible?"
"It's worth a shot," Lee says, reaching the higher shelves while I go for the lower ones. "Canned pears… there's a whole bunch of them back here. Why did people leave all this stuff behind?"
"One man's trash is another man's treasure," I reply simply, smiling sheepishly at Lee over how corny that sounded. Hey, I'm trying to lighten up the mood a little bit, alright?
As for my end, I can see (what else?) more cans – a few handfuls of soup cans, vegetables, spices, canned meats (expired no doubt), as well as some juice cans. And… score! There's a pudding can just down this row a little bit. Lee seems to notice it too, and I Iook up at him to see if he wants it.
Chuckling, he shakes his head and encourages me to go for it.
"How about we share the thing?" I tell him, placing the can into our little pile that we've created. What a haul we've scrounged together! "This seems too good to be true…"
"I was thinking the same thing," Lee muses, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "I wonder if anyone lives here… I'll be right back."
Walking down the aisle, I'm left to my thoughts and the various sources of food that we've collected.
"If someone lived here," I point out, picking up a can of tuna in disgust and toss it back into the pile, "Don't you think we'd have heard them by now? Or, at least you'd have heard them?"
"Can't ever be sure these days," he replies simply, continuing to look around. He gets to the very end of the canned goods aisle, looks a little bit to his right… and freezes. His eyes go wide, his mouth hangs open slightly, and I can faintly hear one sentence uttered from his mouth:
"Oh my god…"
"Lee?" I ask, hobbling over towards him as he snaps out of it and turns to me; horror written on his features. "What's going – OOF! What are you doing that for?!"
"Clem, don't look over there, alright? Just… I don't want you to have to see that…"
Being as stubborn as a damn mule, I pretend to turn around before quickly crawling between his legs and out behind him.
"Clem don't – "
I puke in my mouth at the horrific sight, and suddenly I really wish that I had just listened to Lee like he told me.
It's the frozen food section – five people have hung themselves from the meat hooks, while a handful of others are rotting together in the corner, already having been put down. There could be more inside, but I can't be sure from over here.
"We need to check them for weapons…" I mention quietly, feeling Lee place his hand upon my shoulder. "They might have something we can use."
Nodding silently, Lee goes on ahead; insisting that he be the first one to enter the back room as I follow along behind him.
"Do you think they were all bit?" I ask as he opens the door, releasing a toxic smell that immediately causes me to plug my nose in disgust. It looks as though their whole group is sitting inside of here – all dead and decaying.
"Could've been," Lee acknowledges, bending down to grab a gym bag out of the grip of one unfortunate man that blew his brains out – the gun is still in his cold, dead hands. "Some of them must have figured that hanging themselves would keep them from turning… poor bastards…"
A couple of the guys who hanged themselves reanimated, and are swinging their arms around mindlessly as they see us come inside. This is so sad… I can't help but feel bad for everyone in here. If I was one of those CSI agents like on that show that my parents used to watch, then I'd want to try and find out exactly what happened to these guys. Hell, I did tell Lee that I wanted to be a police officer, after all.
Of course, I don't think any cop had to deal with cases of the undead. That'd be worth a promotion for sure.
That pile that I had seen earlier was bigger than I thought it was. I can count at least seven bodies over there… these folks must have tried to prevent it from happening to the rest of them. But if this was any indication, they weren't successful. In the end, the dead always win.
"This guy kept a journal," I say to Lee, who seems to be lost in his own little world. "Most of the pages are torn out, though."
The guy that wrote this must have lost his mind, as almost every scrap of paper in here reads the same thing: No Hope Left. It explains how he was the last of his group to survive this shit… The last entry goes into some detail about what happened.
No Hope Left…
That's become literal, now. I'm dying – same way as all of my close friends. George came back to life today… bit me right in the arm before I put a bullet into his head. I don't think that I'll have much time left after writing this, so to whoever reads my last thoughts – take solace in knowing that you may not suffer the same fate that we have.
I've decided to just end it before it happens… I've seen so many people die, so many close friends embrace death… They're coming for me now.
I thought that I had wanted this – we did unspeakable shit for so long, and every day I had just wanted it to be over so that I wouldn't need to go through any more guilt. But now that it's happening… I'm scared. God damn, I'm frightened.
To whoever finds this: take our stuff if you need to. You'd certainly need it more than me. Especially considering where I'm going: nowhere. I refuse to leave this room. It'd be a dishonour to their memories, even though a bunch of them are all blood-sucking demons of whom I feel terrible for. I don't want to go out like that. End their suffering, please… I beg you. Don't make the same mistakes that we did.
No Hope Left…
"You're at peace, now," I say to the long-dead man resting against the wall. Lee's already taken out the walkers that hanged themselves by the time I finish reading, so we silently begin taking anything else we might be able to use.
"We must've been the first ones to come here after they died," Lee concludes sadly, handing me a screwdriver in case it comes in handy. "Let's gather up our stuff and head back. What do you think about… leaving this place behind? After we rest up a little bit?"
Nodding slowly, I follow him out of the cold storage; taking one last look inside before shuddering and returning to our miniature camp site.
….
"My parents used to take me shopping at the Loblaws near our house," Lee reminisces sadly as he pushes a shopping cart around… with sitting inside because I wanted to have a little fun for a change. I smirk slightly as we speed down the aisle, with the wind blowing past my face as we ride. "They'd never make my brother go – just me. I used to get ticked off about that. I just figured that he got all the attention, all the toys, and got out of everything that he didn't want to do."
"I used to always want a sister," I admit softly, smiling at the thought of Sandra and I. "My babysitter, Sandra, and I… we'd used to pretend that we were secret sisters. It was… stupid kids' stuff."
"Doesn't sound stupid to me," Lee remarks, pulling off donuts with the cart that make the wheels screech slightly. "Being the older sibling – it's kind of funny, actually. You tease them, make fun of their stupid haircut. Give them the stupid haircut… on purpose…"
"What did you do?" I ask, giggling slightly as he shoves the cart down some more.
"I must have been eight or nine at the time, but I got the funny idea of taking my mom's scissors and cutting his hair. I told him that it looked good, but in reality it looked like he got run over by the lawnmower."
"Aha, really?"
"Yep," he says, smiling sadly as he remembers moments of his youth. "Really makes you put things into perspective, doesn't it?"
Slowing down, I quietly help myself out of the cart and join him over by the fire; plopping a milk crate down as I sit beside him.
"I wish that I had been there more… after I left home for college," he sighs, rubbing his tired eyes with his fingers. Secretly, I'd always wanted to go to college, but I doubt that I'll ever get that chance. "Bud was helping out with Mom and Dad at the pharmacy back in Macon. They'd call me all the time to see how I was doing, but I hardly ever respond. I guess that I'd wanted so badly to live out on my own that I forgot about the important stuff… Makes me feel like shit knowing what happened to them."
"I had to put my brother down outside the pharmacy," Lee explains, surprising me as I hadn't even known about that. That must have been horrible for him. "Couldn't even say goodbye, and then when Lilly told me about dragging an older couple out… I felt empty inside. I don't even know how they died, let alone where they were. And I felt like giving up, right then and there. But… then you came along."
I squeeze his hand in support as he tears up a little bit. That's it, Lee – let it all out.
"You kept me going for all that time, you know that, Clem? I didn't want to make the same mistakes with you that I did with my family… I couldn't bear to mess up like that again. You gave me another chance, so thank you."
This is what I really like about Lee – he's helpful when he needs to be, and always willing to talk to you if you're close to him. I missed having these kinds of conversations with him; Lee always knew how to make things better, even in the darkest of times.
"Lee?"
"Yeah, sweet pea?"
"Please don't leave me again… I don't want to lose you…"
Feeling his firm hand squeeze mine back, I know that as long as he's able, that he won't abandon me.
Our bond that we used to have is back, and I think now it's stronger than ever.
AN: Alright, so I've got one more chapter before the epilogue… and I've decided to go with three endings. I unfortunately won't be continuing this after this story, as school's coming up and I've killed off plenty a character so far. Plus, I really don't want to give you guys a half-assed fourth addition to this series without any heart like the rest of them have, but I think that a trilogy should suffice.
So with that in mind, I hope you guys liked this little chapter of Lee and Clem kind of trusting each other again. Please review and I'll be writing the next one as soon as I'm able to! Ciao!
