Way of Living
CloudxReno; occasional other pairings.
AN: hey, everyone was doing a collection of drabbles so I thought... why not? XDXD
xXx
"Where are ma balls, yo?!"
"They're behind the couch in a black box." Cloud said calmly, picking up Denzel so that he could put a star on top of the Christmas tree.
Reno jumped on top of the couch like a little kid, leaning over the edge to grab a small black box. "Found it, yo." He grinned, straightening again with the box on his hands. "I love Christmas. All this rush to get everything pretty and stuff, the presents..."
"Tifa's food..." Denzel added to the redhead's list.
"Limit: SUFOCATION!" Reno yelled, jumping on top of Denzel and putting him on a headlock.
"Cloud, help...! Reno's molesting me!" Cloud kept whistling some Christmas song, happily wrapping the tree in decorative ribbons and completely ignoring his adoptive son's pleas. Reno was harmless after a—"ARGHHHHHHH! HE BIT MY HEAD!" Ok, maybe not.
"Will you two stop or do I have to punish you for ruining the peace that comes with Christmas?" The blond sighed, looking down at the two children on the floor.
"Sorry." Denzel and Reno mumbled, getting up and still glaring at each other.
"That's better." Cloud nodded with a smile, the grim expression already out of his face. "So, who wanna help me with the holly?" he asked with a huge grin, holding lots of holly on his hands.
Denzel disappeared in a flash of reddish-brown as the rest of the AVALANCHE crew appeared. "Holly, sweet...!" Yuffie chirped, stealing a few branches of holly from Cloud and starting to make fan-service around the house. "Vinnieeeeeeee...!" She called, running after the vampire man.
Vincent stopped abruptly and shot the ninja's toe, successfully stopping her intentions. "Do not approach me with that plant of the devil." He said, caressing Cerberus before sliding it inside its holster again.
Tifa suddenly gasped. "Vincent's under holly!" She exclaimed to everybody who wanted to hear, pointing to the decoration above the ex-Turk. "Who's going to kiss him...?!" The woman asked as Vincent let his head fall to his chest in defeat.
Rude blushed and looked at his shoes, blinking cutely, if that's even possible, at the coffin-owner. "Reno will!" Yuffie yelled, pushing Reno away from Cloud who stood there with his eyes closed, waiting for the supposed upcoming kiss under another branch of holly.
The blond opened an eye just to see Vincent sucking the air out of his lover's lungs. "WTH...?" Cloud whined before Yuffie jumped on top of him.
"Baby, kiss me ya gorgeous piece of man-meat!" the ninja exclaimed before taking a deep breath and attacking Cloud's lips, indifferent at the older man's screeches.
Tifa looked over at Cloud and Yuffie, sighing because she wasn't fast enough to attack the man first. "Oh well." She sighed, whistling and taking a small step to the right, approaching Cid slowly.
On the other side of the room, Cloud's ears perked at the sound of Reno's sudden squeal. The blond kicked Yuffie away and moved his jaw a little, making sure it wasn't broken before sitting and watching Vincent groping an ass that belonged to him and nobody else. "Grrrrrr..."
Vincent opened an eye to see Cloud looking at him with angry narrowed eyes, scratching the floor with a foot like a furious bull. "Oh snap." He sighed emotionlessly, seeing Cloud jumping towards him.
"Limit: CLOUD-CLIPSE!" The blond yelled, watching Reno squeal again and running away from Vincent who ended tackled to the ground by the ex-SOLDIER. "I'll teach ya how ta keep your hands to yourself!"Cloud snarled, sitting on top of Vincent's ass and pulling a leg to him. "SUBMISSION MOVE...!"
"Time out, time out...!" Vincent cried like a baby, slapping the ground.
"LET GO OF MA UKE!"
Cloud looked up to see Reeve in a dramatic pose, pointing a finger at him. "Your uke was kissing ma uke." He pouted, folding his arms and bouncing a little, crushing Vincent's balls. The vampire was a uke; he wouldn't need them after all.
Something flashed in Reeve's eye. "THEN WE, SEMES, SHOULD KISS EACH OTHER! IT'LL MAKE US EVEN!" The man hadn't even finished the last word when Reno kicked his balls with full force.
"Mine, yo." The redhead pouted, hugging Cloud possessively as Reeve sank to the ground, foaming from his mouth.
"Cookies...?" Shera asked quietly.
"MOTHER...!" Sephiroth entered the room, banging with the door and making some youthful (AN: anybody who watches Naruto knows what I'm talking about XD GAI-SENSEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! –Youthful fire burning in her eyes-) pose with his sword.
"Dude, broken record...!" Yuffie screamed, throwing one of Jenova's arms against the man's head.
"Mother...!" Kadaj and Yazoo cried, entering the room as well and joining their older brother who was holding the arm next to his ear.
"Mommy...!" Loz cried, being the last remnant to enter the living room.
"I can't hear her heartbeat!" Sephiroth whined, resting the arm on the floor. "I shall perform CPR!" He cried, sucking on one of Jenova's fingers and being mimicked by his younger brothers.
"That is SO gross, YO!" Reno said, waving his hand around.
"What the... We leave for coffee break and when we come back we find this party?! What are you guys, a bunch of 5 year-old kids?! Come on, everybody assume your positions ASAP!"
Cloud and Reno sighed, meeting each other's lips for the last time until the scene they were filming was over. "Go easy on Tifa, 'kay?" The blond mumbled, getting up still with his lips locked on his lover's.
Reno nodded into the kiss, stepping on Reeve's balls one last time before he got moved in a stretcher. "Sure thing, yo..." He grinned, backing away and leaving the scenery.
"Cloud, you're still decorating the tree with the children. And could somebody get Marlene already?! Tifa, you suddenly rush in like something really tragic happens, okay?"
"Okay." Tifa sighed, leaving the division with a pout. They were having so much fun when the director decided to appear!
"Good then! In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, action...!" The director yelled after a short man appeared in front of the camera. "Final Fantasy 7: The Christmas Tree Dilemma, take 237."
And life became boring again.
xXx
Theme: Crack
Word count: 1025
... Blame Kigichi.
Here are the themes already done and waiting to be done (I'll be removing the ones already done!)
Valentine's Day / waterfall / treasure hunt - still waiting to be written (SWW)
Beach / Hula - WIP
Snowboard - SWW
Cinema - SWW
Dentist - SWW
Cherry blossoms - SWW
Fight / Break Up - SWW
Reno fight over Cloud -SWW
Long business trip and reunion scene - SWW
Aerith's Birthday - SWW
Snowball fights / snow angels - SWW
A date in space - SWW
Caffeine/Sugar - SWW
Kiss - SWW
Porn Collection - SWW
Videogames - SWW
Disneyland - SWW
Painting Lesson - SWW
Session with a Marriage Counsellor - SWW
Popular Reno / Smart Reno - SWW
Lotion - SWW
Yazoo flirting with Reno - SWW
Kidnapped - SWW
Claustrophobia - SWW
Interrogation - SWW
Picnic - SWW
Bride!Reno - SWW
Disguise (Reno disguised as a woman XD) - SWW
Hurt (alternative, sad ending to Disguise) - SWW
Concert - SWW
Rain and Boom (RudexTifa, Reno gets a brother named Axel XD) - SWW
Cloud mistakes Axel for Reno, whose dead - SWW
Vacation - SWW
Reno's twin scars - SWW
Pets - SWW
Song - SWW
Dinner - SWW
Teddy bear - SWW
Birthday - SWW
Stalker - SWW
Spin the Bottle – SWW
Seduction – SWW
Proposal – SWW
Cutter – SWW
Dead Pet – SWW
Role-playing on the Bedroom – SWW
Purple Nail polish – SWW
Gift – SWW
I'm Fine – SWW
New Year – SWW
Comparison – SWW
Glasses – SWW
Photo Album – SWW
Karma – SWW
Hugs – SWW
Cloud teaches Reno how to cook – SWW
Addition – SWW
Breakfast – SWW
Puzzles – SWW
Turkey – SWW
Cheerleader!Reno – SWW
Reno fooling Kadaj – SWW
Shattered Dreams – SWW
Horror movie – SWW
Reno without hair gel – SWW
Hidden Truth – SWW
Long anticipated answer – SWW
Shopping – SWW
Setting an Example – SWW
Left Alone – SWW
Boredom – SWW
Laser tag – SWW
When The Fangirls Attack – SWW
Pups – SWW
Nightmare – SWW
Cheating – SWW
Blood – SWW
Exorcism – SWW
Promised Land – SWW
Island – SWW
Can't stop the rain – SWW
Ramen – SWW
Zoo – SWW
Double MPreg – SWW
Purring!Reno – SWW
Senses – SWW
Pillow Fights/Feathers – SWW
Shadows of the Past – SWW
Cloud stalking Reno – SWW
Surfing Cloud – SWW
Electric kiss – SWW
Drunken Singing – SWW
Sister – SWW
Gondola – SWW
Baby issues – SWW
Acceptance – SWW
Crack - done
If you're thinking about any other theme, please ask for it on a review, signed or not :D I'm aiming to the 200 drabbles! (And if I forgot about any theme you already requested, please point it out Dx)