This was getting ridiculous.
How am I supposed to get this stubborn boy to talk to me again, even if it is just enough for me to apologize? That's all I needed.
No. That would be a flat out lie.
I needed him to forgive me. I needed him to let me back in. I needed him.
"Bella, stop being so depressed." Alice begged. "You knew when you met him that he was damaged goods."
"I know I should have let him be, I just couldn't. Gah! This is so frustrating!" I said falling back onto the couch.
Alice and Rose had been trying to cheer me up for weeks.
Rose came to sit on the floor by the end of the couch that was near my head. She reached out and began raking her fingers through my hair.
"You've tried Bella. He is not responding to you. Just let it go." She said with her hand at my temple. "Emmett doesn't want you to get upset over his brother. He hates seeing you so torn up over him."
"Rose is right. Just let it go." Alice sighed.
I looked at each of their faces. They were serious. "I can't." I squeaked out before the tears started to fall again.
Going to school and seeing him was getting harder and harder for me. He deliberately seemed to be avoiding me at all costs. Of course we were in two classes together, but that didn't mean that he had to acknowledge my presence. He would sit silently through class and all but bolt out the door when it was over. Even Mike Newton noticed.
"Cullen is one weird guy." He said to me after class one day. I shrugged. "He used to be kinda fun actually. We used to have a good time when we were friends."
Mike had apologized to me about the 'deli incident' that happened last semester. He said that he didn't know that Edward would react that way. Mike had never been on the receiving end of one of Edward's outbursts. He told me that he was just joking around with him and was surprised at Edward's reaction. He seemed sincere.
I was going to give up. It had been two months since the 'Thanksgiving Debacle' and I was not making any progress. I just wanted to tell him that I was sorry for the whole thing.
We were heading over to the Cullens' house tonight for dinner. This would be my last one whether I had my chance to talk to Edward or not. This was it.
We entered the house and it was filled with the aroma of Esme's wonderful cooking. We all headed into the dining room to find Esme hard at work setting the table.
"Dinner is almost ready. Emmett, Jasper, get the girls something to drink." Esme ordered.
We all settled around the table and ate while we all talked about school.
We finished up dinner and dessert and headed into the living room to chat some more. Everyone was sitting around laughing and smiling with easy conversation. My mind was, as always, somewhere else.
It's now or never, I guess.
I got up slowly and excused myself to use the restroom, but instead I walked out of the archway from the living room and headed up the stairs.
My heart was beating rapidly and my hands were sweaty.
I reached the door at the end of the hallway and knocked. Nothing. I knocked again. I heard some movement from inside the room, but the door didn't open. I reached out and grabbed the knob and started to turn it slowly.
I opened the door and stepped in without closing it behind me. The room was cleaned up from the last time I had been in here, but it still looked lived in.
Edward was lying on his bed wearing a t-shirt and jeans with his arms crossed over his face his knees bent. I knew that he knew who was in his room.
"Just leave me alone, please." He sighed and rolled onto his side facing away from me.
"That's the problem, I can't." I replied.
"Try." He ran his hand through his hair leaving his hand on the back of his head and his arm on the side of his face.
"Edward, I can't leave things this way between us. I feel like I have to explain myself to you. I never meant to hurt you this way. I know I was wrong for not telling you everything, but I just didn't know what to say.
"I heard your story through Emmett. I don't know if he was telling the whole truth or if he had embellished some of it. I mean, yeah, it was some story, but there must have been a reason for you to do and say the things you did. I don't know maybe there wasn't. What I'm getting at is that when I met you I didn't see the brother that Emmett described, I saw someone else, and after I got to know you better you didn't seem anything like the person that Emmett told me about. I didn't care about anything that was said about you. After we became friends I decided that it didn't matter."
He sniffed. "What didn't matter?" It was almost a whisper.
"It didn't matter what you had done before we met." I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge.
"It matters Bella. I'm not always the person you might want me to be."
"Don't you see? I don't care."
"Why?" His voice was strained.
"Because…" I kicked off my shoes and crawled closer to him on the bed until I was right behind him sitting on my knees. "…you made me fall for you, you idiot!" And with that I laid down behind him and wrapped my arms around his middle.
His breath shuddered and I kissed his neck.
He took a deep breath and rolled over to face me. Or so I thought that was what was going to happen. Instead he kept moving until his head was rested on my chest and his arms were securely around me hugging tightly.
I could feel his chest constricting and his shoulders shake. He was crying.
One of my hands went to the side of his face and into his hair and the other automatically started rubbing soothing circles on his back, tears sliding down my own cheeks as well.
I don't know how long we were lying there like that crying, but I looked up to see that we had an audience. Edward had not noticed.
Esme started to walk into the room. Her face was full of concern. I shook my head 'no', and she stopped. She retreated back to the doorway. Carlisle put his arm around her and led her out of the room pulling the door quietly shut behind them.
Soon we both quieted down and Edward's breathing became slower and more even. He had fallen asleep. I didn't care if my whole body went numb. I would lay here forever if it meant that I had him back. I kissed the top of his head and closed my eyes.
My eyes fluttered open and the room was dimly lit by the bedside lamp. Earlier the ceiling light was on, but clearly someone had come in and turned it off from the switch by the door.
Edward was still asleep, but he had moved so that his head was resting next to mine on the pillow, his arm draped over my stomach.
I slowly sat up and looked at the clock next to the bed. It read: 11:43pm. Wow, we had slept for almost three hours.
I lifted Edward's arm off of me and set it in front of him. I slid off the bed and went to his closet where I knew he kept the t-shirt and shorts that I had worn previously. I found them quickly and headed in the bathroom and shut the door.
I changed my clothes and washed my face with a damp washcloth. I walked out into the room and noticed that Edward was sitting up rubbing his eyes.
"Hey." I said walking back to the bed.
"Hi." He sighed. "You changed your clothes."
I nodded and walked back over to the opposite side of the bed. I pulled back the covers and slid myself in. "I'm going to stay, if that's Ok?"
He turned to face me. "Yeah, I'd like it if you did."
"You should change. Get more comfortable."
He looked up at me and down at the jeans that he was wearing and back up at me.
He stood up from the bed, unbuttoned his jeans, pulled them off, lifted the covers, slid into the bed, then reached over and clicked off the light.
I scooted closer to him and he reached out and pulled me to his chest. "I'm sorry that I'm such an ass. I'm sorry that I let my temper get in the way of…well…everything that I do. I'm sorry for crying all over you."
"You sure say you're 'sorry' a lot." I chuckled trying to lighten the moment.
He pulled back and kissed my forehead.
I took that opportunity to lean in and kiss under his chin, along his jaw and down his neck to the collar of his t-shirt. He put his hands on the sides of my face and brought his lips to mine briefly.
"I missed you." I breathed. He nodded and crashed his lips back to mine.
My hands slid under his arms and up his back, my hands flat on his shoulder blades. His hands remained on my face as our kiss deepened.
Our kiss ended with him almost on top of me, our bare legs entwined, my hands in his hair, one of his hands on my hip and the other supporting himself so that all of his weight was not on me. Our mouths separated and he ducked his head into my neck and shoulder.
"I missed you too." He breathed into my neck. I couldn't help but giggle.
"Don't ever leave me again…physically or mentally." I said cautiously.
He lifted his head and looked me in the eye. "Never again."
I pushed him onto his back and laid my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and my hand rested on his stomach. I yawned.
"Go to sleep, my Bella. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise." I nodded and closed my eyes.
The room was filled with light from the morning sun. I squinted my eyes and sat up on my elbows to check the clock. 9:07am.
I looked at Edward's sleeping from next to me. He was on his back with one of his arms up above his head. His shirt was about a third pushed up around his middle exposing his stomach. I was about to lay back down when I noticed the yellowing remains of the bruise that was under his arm on his side.
I reached out and lifted his shirt higher so that I could see his injury in its entirety. I ran my fingers over the discoloration of his skin. He flinched.
I looked to his face to see him watching me. "Does it still hurt?" I asked.
"It's still a little sore. It's not too bad."
I leaned down and over him and brought my lips to the spot and kissed him lightly twice.
"Feel any better?" He nodded.
"You know, I got hurt here too." He said pointing to where he had gotten the stitches on his brow.
I sat up and kissed where he was pointing.
He held his hands out in front of us with his palms facing away from us. He pointed at each of the knuckles on both hands. "These were hurt also." His lip jutting out in a pout.
I reached out and took one of his hands and gently kissed each knuckle. I repeated the process with the other hand.
"Here too" He said pointing to the corner of his mouth.
I placed my hand on the side of his face and slid my thumb across his bottom lip. He closed his eyes.
"I don't see anything wrong here. I think you might be Ok." I smirked. His eyes snapped open.
"Just kidding…" I said before I leaned in and kissed his mouth giggling.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto his chest. My knees on either side of his hips. He smiled his crooked grin and I leaned down to kiss him properly. Just before our lips met the bedroom door busted open with a bang.
"What the hell is going on in here?" Emmett growled.
I slid off of Edward as he sat up abruptly. He looked livid, but then closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose when I slid my hand under his shirt and rubbed the smooth skin on his back. He took a couple of deep breaths before opening his eyes and looking at his brother.
Carlisle and Esme appeared at the door.
"Mom, Dad, you never let me have a girl in my room when I was 18! Is this some new kind of therapy?" Emmett bellowed. I couldn't tell if he was more upset that Edward had a girl spend the night with him, or that his parents allowed it.
My face must have been the deepest shade of red imaginable. I wanted to hide away and never be found again. I plopped back on the bed and pulled the sheet over my head to hide my embarrassment.
"Good idea." I heard Edward mumble before I was joined under the sheet. I could see that his cheeks were pink too.
We heard the bedroom door close and Emmett's stomping feet retreat down the hall.
We both started laughing as we stayed cuddled up under the protective sheet.