Falling asleep was never easy, but waking up was. In fact, I woke up 6 times in the span of 5 hours. By the time my alarm went off at 6am, I was seriously regretting not throwing that out the window at Isaac when I had the chance. Could've killed two birds with one stone. I slammed my hand down on the top of it, pulling the covers up over my head, trying to dissolve into my bed.
Unfortunately to my dismay, it didn't work, and three minutes later I was interrupted in my efforts by a loud banging on my door.
"Time for school, get up!" My dad shouted on the other side of the door. I let out a groan before rolling over and letting myself fall to the floor. It was the only way anything was going to be accomplished today. My parents were still completely pissed, and I was still completely bitter, leaving our house in such hostility, I doubt the Beacon Hills swat team would dare venture in here. Then again, at this point with all of the shit that went down in this town, I was beginning to wonder if they even had a swat team. I trudged over to my closet, pulling out a pair of maroon colored tights along with a short sleeveless black dress.
It had been one of my favorites in New York, the perfect length to be flirty but not revealing, and the perfect material to keep me cool during the hot summer months. But I could never wear it by itself anymore. I couldn't wear anything sleeveless anymore. I grabbed a sheer button down, pulling my arms through, the angry red scars along my forearms diminishing heavily in visibility. I had ruined myself, and I had to face the consequences.
I did up the laces on my combat boots and ran a brush through my hair before grabbing my bag and heading down the stairs. I brushed past my parents, grabbing an apple off of the table before making my way towards the door.
"Excuse me," my mother cleared her throat, folding her arms across her chest.
"What?" I let annoyance color my voice, as I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and blew a stray piece of hair out of my face, refusing to make eye contact.
"How are you getting to school? I don't see a bus outside."
"Lydia's driving me." Right on cue there was a honk from our driveway and I peeked out the window as Lydia hurriedly waved me over. "I have to go, or we'll never get a parking spot."
"Remember, come straight home after school! No hanging out with friends, no gallivanting. I don't want to hear excuses, you come straight home!" she called after me as I let the front door slam shut. I let out a frustrated yelp before getting into the passenger seat, shoving the apple inside my bag and tossing it into the back.
"Hey." I said through clenched teeth as Lydia stared at me for a minute, as if I had completely lost it. She wasn't too far off.
"Hi…are you okay…?"
"Isaac Lahey is the antichrist."
"Oh honey, I could've told you that." She smiled, patting my knee before pulling out of my driveway. "In fact, I think I did tell you that."
"I was never romantically interested in him Lydia." I glared out the windshield and she let out a laugh.
"Please you looked like you were ready to rip his shirt off and lick his abs." I turned to her slowly, giving her a dark look, and I saw the corner of her mouth twitch up into a grin.
"Kidding." She gave me a fake laugh before turning her attention from the road to me. "Sort of. So what brought on this change of heart from lustful curiosity to blind hatred?"
"Lydia!" I shouted, rolling my eyes in frustration. I saw something dart out quickly in front of the car and I grabbed her arm, repeating myself. "Lydia…"
"Oh calm down, I'm just-"
"Lydia watch out!" I grabbed the wheel, yanking it towards me as quickly as I could as she turned back towards the road, finally noticing the boy inches away, clutching a basketball to his chest and staring at us with wide eyes. She slammed on the brakes and we swerved to the side, going slightly over the curb.
"Why is it that every time I get in a car in this town, it involves a near death experience?" I groaned, quickly unbuckling myself and getting out of the car, making my way over to the boy.
Except he wasn't there. There wasn't anyone there. The street was completely empty, as if the town had been evacuated and Lydia and I were the only two who seemed to have missed the memo.
"Lyds? You…you did see that boy there, right?" I called over to her over my shoulder, vividly remembering the boys mess of black hair, the full lips and piercing blue eyes. Lydia climbed out of the car herself, after finally pulling it off of the curb and straightening herself out, nodding slowly.
"That was the boy I was telling you about. The captain of the basketball team?" I nodded, turning slowly again to make sure I hadn't missed him.
"Did you see where he went?" suspicion crept into my voice and a chill ran down my spine. Something wasn't right. I didn't feel right.
"He probably just got spooked and took off. We didn't hit him or anything so I'm sure he's fine. We're gonna be late for school." There was an edge in her voice, something that told me she just wanted to forget that this had ever happened. I looked over at her again before nodding, and making my way back over to the car. She was right, we hadn't actually hit him. He was fine. Lydia seemed to be composing herself, handling everything with a certain grace I could never hope to achieve. I was hit again by how strong of a person she was, and immediately I felt myself deflate, my entire body sagging under the weight of the "not good enough" label I seemed to wear around my neck like a noose.
The rest of the drive to school was fairly quiet, nothing but the radio and Lydia trying to make small talk as if everything was fine.
But it wasn't fine.
I wasn't fine.
I felt myself plummeting into that dark place I had worked so hard to crawl my way out of. My body was shutting down, engulfing itself in the sadness. I had been doing so well. The littlest things could set me off and I hated it. I hated it more than any werewolf or kanima or tooth fairy that decided to will itself into existence in this tiny town in California. Isaac was right, I was nothing but a burden. I was going to get in the way of everything.
"Ryan!" Lydia snapped in front of my face and I jumped, turning towards her. The car sat in the Beacon Hills High parking lot, the engine turned off and Lydia's seatbelt undone. How long had we been sitting here?
"Sorry I was just…sorry. Sorry." I shook my head, undoing my own seatbelt and grabbing my bag from the backseat.
"Hey," Lydia grabbed my arm as I reached for the door handle, halting me in my fleeing attempt. "What's going on with you? Is this about almost hitting that kid?"
"No! No I just…I don't feel like myself today, that's all." I gave her a pathetic smile before brushing her off and climbing out of the car. I don't feel like myself today was probably the understatement of the century. My stomach felt like it was doing somersaults in my abdomen, and I couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom. I could feel it from my toes to my fingertips. Today was a bad day.
"Well then I'll help you feel like yourself." Lydia looped her arm through mine, leading me down the sidewalk and towards the door.
"How do you even know what that's like?" I snapped. Lydia stopped walking, still holding onto my arm but drawing back to give me a look. "You've only known me for like, three days." Nothing seemed real anymore. Why was everyone being so nice to me here when I was nothing but a killer and a coward? I hurt people and then I ran away. It was all I had ever done, and I imagined it was all I would ever do.
"Yes, I've only known you for like, three days." Lydia repeated, a bit sarcastically. "And in those three days you have been there for me, stood up to my ex-boyfriend, listened to me when no one else has, and not to mention feigned a psychotic episode in the middle of class just so people would leave me alone. Yeah, don't think I don't know what you did." Lydia tightened her jaw and stared me in the eye until I gave a sheepish smile.
"Now come on, because I am not joining you for your pity party." She straightened her dress out and pulled me close, continuing our journey into the school, linked arm in arm. "Besides, you're my only normal friend left. I can't believe Allison is a part of one of those online gaming communities that battle mythical creatures." Lydia laughed, shaking her head as we ventured over to her locker. "She has been hanging out with Scott and Stiles for way too long."
And just like that we were back to normal. Well in Lydia's mind anyway. I still felt off, like the world was going to turn on its side at any given moment. But I tried to keep my shit together, for Lydia's sake at least. I barely saw anyone I knew the entire day, which struck me as odd. Or maybe I did. I seemed to be in some kind of dull haze, staying close to Lydia's side throughout class. Everything blurred together, words, faces, objects. I couldn't tell you who sat behind me, or what the teachers said, or even where the paper ended and the desk began. I was beginning to think my parents had drugged me with sedatives in my sleep until class ended, and Lydia guided me out into the hallway.
The striking blonde hair was like a 6am wake up call, and I was still not ready to get up. I stopped dead in my tracks, feeling Lydia bump into me and ask me why I had stopped, but being unable to answer her. Ava stood only a few yards away, down the hallway leaning against the lockers. And I knew it couldn't have been a hallucination this time. Because this time Isaac was standing in front of her, arguing about something. It would've been quite a comical sight if circumstances were different, Isaac in all of his six foot glory, arguing with Avery, who was barely five feet and yet still managing to hold her ground.
But the circumstances were not different, and logically I did what anyone who was seeing their dead best friend's little sister who looked more haunted and dangerous in person than she ever had in their nightmares would do.
I dropped to the ground and blacked out.
"She won't be needing any of that, thank you." It sounded as if I were in a tunnel, every little noise and sound bouncing off the walls and echoing back through my head. My eyes fluttered open, to see Ms. Morrell sitting in a chair beside the bed I was lying on.
"Where am I?" I asked groggily, blinking a few more times before I attempted to sit up.
"There nurse's office."
"And you're here because…?" I sat back against the mountain of limp pillows behind me, watching her as she kept her silence. That was enough of an answer for me. "Because they think I had a psychotic break."
"I didn't say that,"
"You didn't say anything."
"If I had thought you had had a psychotic break, I wouldn't have declined the medication they wanted me to give you." Ms. Morrell reached for the small paper cup on the nightstand next to the bed, showing me the rainbow of pills inside.
"So then why are you here?"
"You seem a bit more hostile than the last time we spoke Ryan. Is everything alright?" She gave me that knowing look, the look that said if I said anything but the truth she'd know. So instead, I gave her a version of the truth.
"I'm just really tired of being treated like I need to be kept in a cage." I narrowed my eyes at her, giving her a pointed look. She smiled at me, glancing down at her hands before meeting my gaze again.
"I'm not here to keep an eye on you Ryan. And I'm also not here to force you to talk about things you're not ready to talk about. I'm just here to help." She grabbed the glass on the nightstand beside the pills, handing it to me. "And right now, what's going to help is to drink some water. Dehydration can cause fainting." I took the glass hesitantly, swirling it around before deciding to take a sip.
After a few more sips, I noticed the edges of my vision swirling, as if the objects in the room were trying to blend into themselves.
"What was...in that?" I gasped out, unable to get my voice to operate normally, feeling both very heavy and very light at the same time.
"A sedative of sorts." Ms. Morrell replied. I saw her blurry figure stand from the chair and I reached out, grabbing onto her arm to stop her.
"A…sedative of sorts…?!" My voice cracked as anger and panic fought to escape. "What about…class! Won't that just…put me to sleep…?"
"We'll see." She gently pried my hand off of her arm, making her way towards the door.
"What does that…" and with that I felt my body go limp, and a white wave wash over me.
There was a bright flash of lightning and I was in my old house, back in New York, seated on the floor in front of the big bay window in my room. It was early spring, and the sky was bright and white, a spring shower just beginning to pour down. I rested my head atop my folded arms on the windowsill, enjoying the smell of the rain. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I desperately tried to lose myself in the beauty of the nature outside, anything to distract myself from the fight I had had with my mother.
I contemplated calling Casey, to get out of the house, get my mind off of things, but for some reason I felt like that wasn't a good idea. Like I needed to be doing something else. I stared at the sleek and small contraption for a minute, making my final decision.
No. I shouldn't call Casey right now. So instead I wiped the tears from my eyes, and continued to stare out the window, as if I could find some sort of meaning in the bright clouds. I saw a flock of birds streak across the sky, and as silly as it was, I envied them. I hated being locked up, and the thought of being able to fly away whenever you wanted to seemed like a dream come true. One of the birds deviated from the flock, flying straight towards my window. I sat, mesmerized as the creature kept coming, not slowing down at all. I stood up, backing away from the window as the bird slammed right into it – and went through it, landing on the window sill.
At first I thought it was a crow, a sleek and menacing looking bird with shiny black feathers. But it was much too big to be a crow. A raven maybe? The bird looked at me and cocked its head, spreading out its wings. With one wing, it pointed behind me, and I spun on my heels to find myself face to face with a floor to ceiling mirror. I reached out a hand, trailing my fingers along the cool surface as my reflection mimicked me.
But then my reflection drew her hand back, wrapping her arms around herself as black wings sprouted from her back. I stumbled backwards, falling to the floor as she stared at me with cold eyes.
"Ryan," she cocked her head, and repeated my name as if it were the only word she knew.
Ryan. Ryan. Ryan.
"Ryan!" Lydia shook my arm and I jerked awake, looking around wildly as students stood up, packing up their books. A dream, a dream, just a dream.
But how much had been a dream?
I rubbed at my eyes, shaking my head a bit before I felt my stomach lurch.
"Are you okay?" Lydia placed a reassuring arm on my shoulder, helping me up out of my chair. "They should have never sent you back to class. What kind of school sends a girl who faints back to class? Ridiculous."
I froze, my eyes widening slightly as I cleared my throat. I scooped up my books and tried to look nonchalant and one hundred percent okay when in actuality I was probably functioning on about thirteen percent okay.
"Um, so me fainting really uh…happened?" Lydia gave me a strange look, cocking an eyebrow.
"Do you not remember it?"
"I remember it. I just don't remember what happened after that."
"Anterograde amnesia. You probably hit your head when you fainted. The nurses here are useless." Lydia rolled her eyes, taking my hand and pulling me towards the door, reminding me that I was fully operational and could in fact walk. "Okay so you fainted, caused a bit of a panic in the hallway until some teachers came and carried you to the nurses office. Then like fifteen minutes later you walked back to class. You handed coach a note and sat down, taking notes. You seemed fine until you dozed off towards the end of class. And that's what you missed on Glee." She smiled at me, shrugging as she leaned up against the locker next to mine.
I put in the combination with shaky hands, opening my locker with a tug. I shoved my books inside, taking a deep breath. I could do this. Everything was fine. I just needed to call the cops on our supposed guidance counselor who may or may not be working as an undercover Russian spy.
"Heyyyy, Lydia! Ryan," Stiles nodded towards me, before looping an arm across Lydia's shoulders. "So uh I have a question." Lydia raised an eyebrow, glaring at him before he actually got the hint and removed his arm, awkwardly stuffing his hands into his pocket. "What happened to Jackson's parents?"
Jackson? Why did I have a feeling the reasoning behind this question was distinctly supernatural? I slammed my locker shut, signifying to Lydia that I was ready to go.
"I'm not supposed to tell anyone." Lydia huffed, walking ahead of Stiles as I trailed after both of them.
"Aw, come on! Anyone who ever says 'I'm not supposed to tell anyone' is always dying to tell someone! So, tell me!" Stiles tried, arms extending on either side of him.
"Why do you wanna know?" she drawled, almost considering it.
"I can't tell you that."
"Then I'm not telling you." Lydia spun on him for a brief second before reaching back to grab my arm and pull me ahead with her.
"But you are telling me that you could tell me something if you wanted to tell me..?"
"Was that a question?"
"It felt like a question…"
"Well, tell me if this feels like an answer….no." Lydia continued her strut down the hallway as Stiles reached for my arm.
"Ryan, you need to-"
"Not today Stiles." I shrugged out of his grip, making my way over to the water fountain. I couldn't get wrapped up in the supernatural today. Not when I already felt like I was in my own world of the supernatural.
"But Ryan we really need to-"
"Today is not the day Stiles!" I yelled, giving him a sharp look over my shoulder and effectively silencing him. I let the water from the fountain wash over my wrists to cool my body temperature down, before taking a sip. The last thing I needed was to have a panic attack.
I heard Stiles calling after Lydia and rolled my eyes before heading that way too. I shouldn't have snapped at him like I did. He had just as much to deal with.
"Aw come on, Lydia! Wait!" I heard his voice drifting through the throng of students before I heard a dull thud of something hitting the wall. I made my way up the stairs to see Stiles pinned to the wall, Erica standing in front of him, one hand on his chest, practically snarling.
"Back off blondie," I grabbed her wrist, pulling it away from Stiles and up towards me.
"Stay out of this one trouble magnet, you're way out of your league. Maybe if you had taken the bite…" she trailed off with a laugh, giving me a grin.
"Whoa what? They offered you the bite?" Stiles chimed in, adjusting his backpack.
"I don't need the bite to beat you." I narrowed my eyes, my grip on her wrist tightening.
"Ohh right, word on the street is you're quite the little killing machine." She laughed again, wiggling her clawed fingers ever so slightly.
"Word on the street is I'm going to take your little werewolf claws and shove them up your-" I leaned closer to her, squeezing her wrist so tightly I thought I might draw blood. Whether it would be her blood or mine was still up for debate.
"Whoa, whoa okay, easy." Stiles cut in, placing a hand on my shoulder and pushing me back.
"Why are you asking Lydia about Jackson's real parents?" Erica growled, turning her attention back to Stiles.
"Why you bringing out the claws on camera?" he pointed behind us as we both shifted to look at the security camera pointed right at us. I released my death grip and our arms fell back to our sides as Erica took a step back. "That's right, you wanna play catwoman? I'll be your batman." Stiles grinned, before gesturing to me. "And she'll be batgirl." He nodded proudly before I gave him a look and he swallowed. "Um…Wonder Woman?"
"I'm more of a Marvel girl myself."
"Black Widow?" He tried, and I rolled my eyes.
"I'd say Rogue."
"Well when you two are done geeking out, if you're wondering about Jackson's real parents, they're about half a mile from here. In the Beacon Hills cemetery." Erica flashed us one last smile before walking off, as Stiles stared after her in horror. I sighed, realizing there was no way to get out of this one.
"So why is this relevant?"
"Chase now, talk later!" Stiles said, grabbing my arm and pulling me with him as he ran frantically after Erica.
"Do me a favor and don't ever join the track team." I hissed, avoiding his flailing limbs. "You'd knock like half of them out. Seriously, are you part ostrich or something?" I pulled my arm from his grip as he spotted Erica, making a mad dash for her.
"Ah okay, wait! Wait wait wait wait, do you know how they died?"
"Maybe. If you tell me why you're so interested." Erica deadpanned, before slowing to a halt. "It's him isn't it?"
"What? Who? Him who?" She began walking again and Stiles followed obediently.
"The test didn't work but it's still him. It's Jackson." Her voice held pride and triumph and Stiles stood gaping after her like a fish.
"Well that went well." I pressed my lips together, nodding.
"No, this is not over. Come on," he motioned for me to follow him and I threw my head back, groaning.
"What the hell is going on now Stiles?" I dragged my feet following after him, shifting my backpack to my other shoulder. This is the last time I save him from blonde homicidal werewolves.
"If she tells Derek that Jackson's the kanima, they're gonna kill him, okay?"
"Would that really be such a bad thing?" He gave me a frustrated look, but avoided answering.
"Look, there's another way. Lydia translated bestiary, so we know more now than we did before. Jackson's being controlled. So all we have to do is figure out who's controlling him."
"And you really think Derek's gonna give two shits about that?" We turned a corner, heading towards what I assumed was the locker rooms, and spotted Erica.
"Of course not. That's why we can't let her tell him." He finished, before running up to Erica. "Listen, you can't tell Derek, okay? There's a lot more to this that you don't know about."
"Hm," She slowed her pace, tossing her head to the other side.
"And just because you got the alpha bite makeover doesn't give you license to go around destroying people."
"Why not?" She spun on Stiles, anger flaring in her eyes. "That's all anybody ever used to do to me. I used to have the worst crush in the world on you." Stiles looked confused at first, like he just didn't understand what she was saying. "Yeah, you Stiles. And you never once even noticed me." Stiles gaze travelled downwards, distractedly, towards the water spreading across the floor. "Exactly how you're not noticing me right now." We looked down, to see the apparent leak seeping out from beneath the boy's locker room door.
The door slammed open and Scott came barreling through, landing on the floor on his back, as Jackson jumped on top of him. They both jumped into action immediately, and I stood there shell shocked. Erica pried off Jackson, restraining him against the wall as Stiles threw his backpack to the floor, helping Scott up as he slipped around in the water. Allison scampered out of the locker room, helping Stiles keep Scott up as he struggled.
"What the hell's going on? Hey! Enough!" Harris came running down the hallway followed by a horde of kids, including the boy who had asked me about my PTSD and for dating advice all in the same sentence. Matt I think?
"What do you idiots think you're doing?! Jackson! Calm down! Mr. McCall, care to explain yourself? Stilinski?" Harris looked around at each of us, Jackson, Scott, Stiles, Erica, Allison, me.
"Here, you dropped this." Matt offered Scott a tablet, which Harris promptly confiscated.
"You, and you." He gestured to Scott and Jackson with the damp device, before thinking of a new way to torture the innocent. "Actually, all of you." He gestured in a circle to us all, including Matt. "Detention. Three o'clock."
"Wait, what?" I interjected, as he was about to walk away. "Detention for all of us? But half of us literally did nothing. In fact Stiles and Erica broke up the fight. Why should we all have to sit in detention?" My mother could not find out that I had gotten detention. Not after last night. "That's just not fair."
"Life isn't fair, Ms. Moore. And since you seem to be unaware of this societal phenomena, I will make it my personal mission to make sure you remember that." Mr. Harris grinned at me, looking more like a sadistic lunatic than I ever could, before stalking down the hallway somewhat how I imagined Professor Severus Snape would have.
I closed my eyes, sighing before cursing under my breath. What was up with me today? Talking back to a teacher? I wouldn't have done something like that even on my best day. Erica chuckled from beside me, shaking her head slightly.
"I've gotta say, even I don't have big enough balls to talk like that to Harris. While I kind of admire it, you really fucked that one up."
"Don't remind me." I groaned, throwing my head back before making my way towards my next class.
A/N: Friends! Hello! It's been a whileeee, but I am BACK! Next week marks the last of my finals and I will be free for the summer! (more or less) This chapter lacked Isaac, but I promise next chapter will fix that issue! This chapter is super important though for future plot points, so I hope you enjoy!
Thank you to everyone who favorited and followed, and a special thanks to kaljara, Sworn Pledge, WhatsGoingOn, AllThingWeird35, fictionwritergirl, Guest, Red Constance, XxGiRlOnFiRexX, BriancyyD, FlorenceDelphine, nerina2401, Guest, and emele807 for your wonderful reviews!
Let me know what you think!
-Briana