Thank you all for reading! I'm glad that you enjoyed chapter 3 enough to read it and even favorite it! But still… three new favorites? It's even less than the first chapter… not that good.
There's also several reviews! Hooray! Let's answer them:
Lewamus Prime: Thanks for reading, kid! Well, the answer for your question comes up in this very chapter, which is good. But what's not good is your last review, which you'll notice was deleted…
*sigh* Look, I'm going to be blunt now, and this applies to everyone. I, the person writing this, am following the official release of the series. I am not following it online and I am following it quite slowly. In fact, volume 16 was released only last month here. This is important because your last review was sufficiently spoilerful to the events of that volume and the next one. Yes, I understand you did not say what happened, but this doesn't change some facts.
I'm a nice guy. But I am bad at handling spoilers. In fact, I am HORRIBLE at them. And that's why I want to ask you all to stop doing that. Please. It makes me want to work less on this story if I have to deal with people posting spoilers.
Want me to do something? Go ahead and suggest! But suggest stuff that doesn't have to do with Sora no Otoshimono. I already have as many ideas as I need about the events here. Other series to cross over would interest me more.
Winky Keaton: Thanks for reading, kid! Thanks for the tidbit on Jupiter's satellites too. As for your question, Ikaros doesn't like any of the Eds yet; she doesn't really have emotions after all…
irnzenmonk: Thanks for reading, kid! Hope you enjoy this chapter, too!
drake202: Thanks for reading, kid! And you summed things up in one sentence. Which is basically the main reason why Tomoki was sympathetic in the original, of all things…
Rexfan1333: Thanks for reading, kid! Hope you enjoy the next chapters, too!
Alfonse08: Thanks for reading, kid! And yeah, although the current arc is still the one most similar to the original as it is, I'm hoping to make it more of my own creation in the future.
And for the rest of you, enjoy!
Today was another fun, summer day, so Edd wasn't too concerned about such things. It was not altogether uncommon for his parents to have left the house in a manageable state, after all, and the less he saw of Ikaros, the better. As the morning went on, however, he was surprised to see that neither Ed nor Eddy had made their way to visit him yet. Quite odd; they were often coming over to visit first thing in the morning, since he often spent his days in his room until they came over to bother him.
And yet, there he was, with no hair nor hide of them to be found. So strange.
Edd walked out the door, deciding to go visit Ed. Usually it was because of some problem with his sister, and he was sure that Sarah had gotten in the way already. Besides, even if Ed's room was the second or third-to-last place he would ever want to enter, there was still some level of charm to its off-putting, fetid stench and unwelcoming colors.
Anything was better than this odd loneliness he was starting to feel.
The sockheaded boy went towards Ed's basement, seeking the small window opening. It was the easiest way to visit him, considering how Sarah could often be a bother, and so he pressed on it gently.
Much to his surprise, however, it refused to budge. A check on the inside was difficult, too, because the window seemed to be barred one way or another. "Weird…" he uttered, before heading to the entrance. Was something wrong?
Knocking on the door led to no immediate answer. Odd. He was about to knock again when it opened, and Edd's incoming words were immediately silenced.
Standing in front of him was Ed… but with a few significant differences. For one, he didn't smell. Although Edd was used to it already, the fact was that Ed had such a strong and easily identifiable smell to him that even the few baths a month he took could never remove it fully. And yet, there he was, smelling with a distinct acorn and lemon scent that he only knew from one source.
Another was that his hair was… well, not 'combed', certainly, but also not its natural buzzcut. Ed resembled more and more the time he had cleaned up and become popular, but with a few odd details which kept Edd from accepting that.
Namely… Ed looked a lot like himself, in all honesty.
"…Ed?" Edd let out, after a few seconds of silence. "Is that really you?"
"Oh, if it isn't my good friend Eddward!" Ed declared, in a very unusual manner; instead of blurting it out like he usually did, he was speaking in a polite yet excited manner, not too different from what Eddy had dubbed 'a twitchy chihuahua'. "How have you been this fine morning?"
"I-I'm fine, myself…" Edd hesitated, feeling a little odd. "Ed, may I ask you what has prompted this sudden change in your behavior?"
"What are you talking about, Eddward?" Ed replied, sounding quite confused. "I've always been like this!"
"That's not possible! Why, Ed, just yesterday you were still" Edd's voice trailed off, at that point. "…Ed, where is your green jacket?"
"What are you speaking about, Eddward?" Ed asked. Indeed, his notorious green jacket was no longer anywhere in sight, just like his red and white striped shirt or his loose pants. Instead, he wore a respectable red shirt and a pair of blue shorts with socks that reached to his knees and above, much like Edd himself did. "I would never wear a green jacket! It would look completely out of place with my outfit!"
That… was sort of sensible. It was the exact same type of argument Edd would have used if he were forced to permanently wear Ed's jacket.
Which was why he felt so uncomfortable about it.
"Ed! Are you trying to mock me again?" he asked, a little frustrated. "Wasn't once enough? Did Eddy put you up to this?"
If Ed was playing a trick, he seemed awfully blind to it. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Eddward. I am quite busy today, unfortunately, and I will not be able to spend time with you, if you are going to behave in such a manner."
Busy? Ed? Although Edd was hardly the type to believe in Eddy's nastier thoughts, it was a fact that the big guy was just not the type to be 'legitimately' busy. "And what, pray tell, would be taking so much of your time today?"
"For your information, Eddward, I am currently doing the chores for my father, my mother, and my younger sister."
Those words made his jaw fall to the ground so hard, it nearly cracked the floor. "W… what?"
"As I said, I am currently busy with chores. My father, my mother, and my younger sister all need my help, and I am glad to supply it in any way possible." There was absolutely nothing in what Ed was saying that even slightly suited him. The taller boy was speaking rather haughty, a little coldly and off-putting but with a certain excitement at the thought of performing duties which would satisfy others.
Not unlike how Edd would react at the idea of performing his chores.
"E-Ed… what are you…" he stammered, seeing all the details which he had missed earlier, but that now could tell so well. The clean skin, after sufficient immersion in precisely clean water. The way he wore carefully-chosen clothes that had not been left in the floor for days on end. The way his eyes were blinking correctly at all times, without missing a single beat!
This wasn't Ed he was looking at. This… it was him!
"ED!" Sarah's voice came from the inside, shrill as ever. "COME HERE ALREADY!"
"I am going, my little sister!" Ed turned to reply to her. "I am simply speaking to Eddward about"
"DOUBLE-D'S HERE?!" She didn't even finish talking, and was already running downstairs, towards the Eds. With a tackle that could've made a football player proud, she slammed onto the hat-wearing boy, the two of them rolling on the grass for a few seconds. "Hello, Double-D!"
"S-Sarah." Edd was not very relieved to see her straddle him like that, mostly because she was crushing his ribs with her legs. "W-what a fine day we're having?"
"It got better now that you're here!" she told him, with a big smile that wouldn't be that out of place on a shark. "Wanna hang out?"
There were a lot of words which could be used here, and most of the ones which would not result in pain for Edd were ones he would not want to use. "A-actually, Sarah, I was wondering…" he started, uncomfortably feeling a few ants brushing against his backside. "Have you noticed anything strange with Ed today?" There was always a possibility this was just a phase and that he would be broken out of it soon enough, but Edd was not one for deciding on theories without any evidence.
"Well, yes," the redhead said, with a grin. "He's a lot more fun to bully around today. And he's doing my chores for me without even complaining!"
Perhaps he shouldn't have relied on the sociopathic nature of Ed's sister to help him. "I-I see…" he let out, nervous. "W-well, Sarah, don't you think it might be a little problematic if Ed remains like this? A-a-a-after all, he might not be sound of mind, anymore…"
Sarah barely crushed his head as she slammed a fist on the ground. "NO WAY! I like Ed the way he is now! Do you comprende?!" she yelled at him, and Edd barely restrained himself from saying anything that might draw her ire further, regarding her grammatical unbalance.
"Actually, my little sister, combining words of different languages in the same sentence is a mistake of the highest"
Thankfully for him, Ed had no such qualms, as Sarah turned on him. "DID YOU JUST SAY I MADE A MISTAKE?!" she yelled again, getting off Edd and stomping her way towards her brother.
"W-well, to be quite honest…" Ed went on, starting to sweat as his sister grabbed onto his collar, "yes."
Edd now had what amounted to a view of his own life from the outside, as Sarah proceeded to unleash her classic bratty violence upon her brother. Normally the hat-wearing boy would have tried to involve himself, but two things kept him from doing as usual.
One of them, obviously, was his own concern regarding Ed's new state. He could tell that Ed was not himself, but what was causing it, he didn't know, and perhaps… well, it wasn't as if violent shocks to the head hadn't fixed some of their issues in their past.
The second one was Jonny running into the scene and latching on to him.
"Double-D! Boy, are we glad to see you!" he said, Plank on hand.
"Jonny? W-what's going on?" Edd asked, worried if there were more changes like Ed's going on. The kid didn't answer at first, simply pulling on him to come along.
"It's about Eddy! You've gotta see this!" he said, before turning to his piece of wood/imaginary friend. "What? No, of course Double-D would find it awesome, Plank! You know he's into that kind of stuff!"
"Eddy?!" Edd hadn't exactly paid attention to anything else after hearing that. "What happened to him?"
"Kevin said not to spoil the surprise too much!" Jonny answered, before turning to Plank again. "Oh, come on! I'm not a blabbermouth!"
"W-where is Eddy now, Jonny?!" As he shook the bald boy repeatedly, Edd couldn't help but panic. If Kevin was involved, then this was going to be terrible, and the least he could do was keep his friend from getting in too much trouble.
"Over at the Playground, Double-D, you just have to go and" Before he could finish, the taller boy was already gone, leaving him alone. "Boy, Plank, some people are just plain impolite, wouldn't you say?" There was a pause, as Plank told him something. "What? Where did you learn that kind of language, mister?"
As he arrived at the Playground, there were many things Edd was expecting to happen. Eddy being strung up and tied into knots again was somewhere around the halfway mark of his expectations, with the more likely situations including simply a beating and the more outlandish situations being closer to the hypno-disk incident.
"Oh, please, Kevin, do tell me what you want me to do!"
He had not expected to see this, however.
"Alright, Dorky, just sit down here."
Eddy was currently looking as, well, refined as Ed had been before. In itself, already a warning sign given the situation; what made this troublesome, however, was that he had on a very unnerving smile, as he sat down on the merry-go-round, facing the back. Kevin and Nazz were watching him, with their own amused expressions.
"Like this?" he asked, sweating nervously but all smiles nonetheless. Just like Edd would do.
"Yeah… like that. Don't let go." When Kevin suddenly spun the merry-go-round at extreme speeds, the short boy began screaming loudly, as he felt the G-forces impacting his body repeatedly. Edd ran towards the scene, quite concerned now.
"STOP!" he yelled, and Kevin frowned. With one foot, the jock managed to stop the merry-go-round, sending Eddy spiraling out. "Eddy! Are you okay?!"
"I'm fine, Eddward, don't speak so loudly…" he uttered, quite dizzy. Shaking his square head to get the spinning to stop, he smiled at Edd. "Kevin and I were simply performing one of many experiments on the effects of high gravity on the human body. It's amazing what one can learn in these situations!"
Those words made Edd take a step back, at least mentally, as he turned to face Kevin and the others. "Is that… true?"
"Of course it is, Double-Dork. 'Edward' over there is helping us with our science project." There was at least one thing incorrect with that statement, but Edd couldn't figure it out himself just yet. "We're finding out how the human body deals with things like spinning really hard on the merry-go-round, like he said."
"Or when you use a really strong weight on a seesaw!" Nazz added, all smiles as she pushed Eddy towards the aforementioned seesaw. The poor boy was too dazed by her beauty to react, making his friend scratch his hat uncomfortably.
"See, Eddward? It's perfectly fine!" Eddy said, as he took a seat on the bottom side, not seeing Nazz take some distance. "We're just doing some experiences, and"
The next line was replaced by a scream as the boy was suddenly sent flying into the air, after Nazz performed a triple jump and landed on the seesaw as violently as she could. Edd could only watch as Eddy yelled in fear of heights, just before hitting a pidgeon. "EDDY!"
"Nice one, Nazz!" Kevin said, quite happy as the two of them did a high-five. "Not only do we know what happens when a dork is sent flying up in the sky, but we also know now how he looks when he hits a bird on the way down!"
"Score!" she said, neither of them noticing Edd was almost fuming.
"Have you no shame?! Eddy's life is in serious danger! He could be dead or worse from all these tricks!" His outburst was not enough to get through to Kevin, unfortunately.
"Hey, the dork asked for it." He crossed his arms. "Walked in here asking us what he could do to help. Man, he's so pathetic!"
"Tell me about it…" Nazz shook her head. "You guys really are alike, you know? So polite, so helpful…"
Edd suddenly paled as he realized that she was coming closer, looking adorable in a manner that made him uncomfortable everywhere. "Hey, Double-D, why don't you come over to help us with our project?"
He needed a few seconds to recompose himself. "W-w-why, I would be glad to hel" It wasn't until he saw a bruised Eddy walk in, all smiles despite the pain – and honest smiles, unlike what he usually had – that he stopped himself. "lp myself to a little visit to Eddy's parents…"
"Oh, no need to be a bother, Eddward!" Eddy told him, coming closer despite Kevin and Nazz's sudden worry. "You know our parents are never around. They will only be back quite late today, as always… we have the whole day to continue learning more about life and science"
Again, that sounded awfully familiar and close to home. "…Eddy, we have to go."
"What?" Now even Eddy was surprised. "What's wrong, Eddward?"
"You're what's wrong! Everything is what's wrong! You and Ed are behaving completely unlike your normal selves, and this is outside all reason!" He placed one hand on Eddy's shoulder. "Come on, Eddy, let's go home and"
"Hold it, dork." That wasn't good. "Where do you think you're going?"
Edd turned to face Kevin, his frown changing to a nervous stare as he realized the other kid was quite unhappy now. So was Nazz, now that he thought about it…
"I-I'm taking Eddy back home, to try and understand the changes that have gone through him…!" he stuttered, growing quite nervous as the two of them were advancing on him. "I-I'm sure you can understand just how b-beneficial understanding these effects would be…"
"Yeah, I'm sure I can," Kevin replied, before growling. "But you know what? I don't have to!"
One of his hands latched onto Eddy, pulling him over to Nazz. "We have what we want: a friend who's willing to go through these experiments for our benefit. Isn't that right, Dorky?" he asked, moving closer to the short boy at this point, who was currently half-embraced by Nazz and steaming out of his ears.
"Y-y-yeah! It's completely right, Eddward!" he let out, barely paying attention to what was happening to him. Edd paled as Nazz started dragging him away, slowly and carefully.
"Eddy, wait!" he tried to argue, but before he could reach back, Kevin had already advanced further, both of them face to face. "K-Kevin, please! You can't keep hurting Eddy like this, it's not fair!"
"Not fair? Not fair is what you dorks have been doing to us our entire lives!" Kevin retorted, forcing him back. "Why don't you just accept your just desserts over it, Double-Dork?"
Edd might've said something, but he had just pressed himself against Rolf now, and the neurosis suddenly triggered. "Why, if it isn't the Head-in-the-Sock-Ed-Boy! You must be here to indulge in the feather and tar-ing of your no-good friend, yes?" the blue-haired boy asked, quite chipperly.
"No, Rolf. It seems like the 'Head-in-Sock' Dork would rather stop our little fun," Kevin told him, and Rolf's expression changed at once to something a little more unrecognizable.
"Oh? And perhaps he would also like to challenge Rolf for the right of his Great Nano's Pantaloons, then?" he said, getting in on his face too. "Because that is how likely your chances are, Ed-Boy!"
"G-gentlemen, please! Can't we settle this matter without such a response?" Edd asked, feeling unfortunately quite nervous at this point. Kevin grinned.
"What do YOU think, dork?" he asked, before slamming one fist against an open palm.
By the time Edd was finally home again, it was far past noon already. The table had been set for lunch, by his parents it seemed, and there was still lunch there left to cool. Instead of simply going for it, however, he went towards the fridge, noticing the sticky note left by his parents. For the first time in recent history, there were no orders in the sticky note, but an admonishment; his having not set the table was one thing, but refusing to be there for lunch was reprehensible behavior. There would be words directed at the other Eddwards' parents later, once they had returned from work, along with an extra dose of chores he would have to do – including mowing the lawn.
Although he read the note, Edd's mind was nowhere near it. A part of him had wished his parents were less severe in their vegetarianism, as the lack of a slab of raw meat meant he could not use it to help with the pain in his bruises and black eye. Of course, raw meat was quite unsanitary and disgusting and only really effective in things like cartoons, but for once Edd simply did not want to think about the logicality of things. How was he supposed to explain or understand the sudden changes in Ed and Eddy's psyches?
Lunch was a silent affair, after he had cleaned himself. A cold soy bean paste and chicken salad was hardly delicious in the state he was in, and the idea that his friends might be actually enjoying similar meals from their parents rather than their standard gross and unhealthy food was no relief. That was only a guess, of course, because considering how things were he highly doubted that they were actually eating food like his, even if he had this unpleasant and nagging feeling that things were more different than he wanted to accept or believe.
It wasn't until he had stopped by his bedroom to prepare himself for the incoming chores – and to try and get some rest – that he saw one last unfamiliar sight, even if it was one that was becoming awfully familiar to him now.
Ikaros was waiting for him, by the side of his bed.
"Y-you!" he cried out, nervous. She stared at him for a few seconds, before he mustered the will to speak up. "You did something, didn't you?!"
"Master?" she asked him, but he ignored that.
"Yes! You're the reason why my friends are acting so weird, aren't you? Admit it!" Edd snapped, but Ikaros' face remained blank. "What did you do?"
"I have only followed your orders, Master, and nothing else." That didn't assuage the hatted boy in any way. "This includes your last order from before you fell asleep, yesterday."
Now that was a surprise. "What do you mean, 'last order'? I didn't"
"You did, Master," Ikaros insisted. "You wished for your friends to become nice and proper gentlemen, such as yourself." His eyes widened at that moment, and he was about to speak up, but she went on before he could. "Analysis revealed that your friends would never be able to become like this naturally, as their mindset and behavior are simply too incompatible with your mindset and behavior. As such, the only possible result was to replace them with two individuals who would have this same mindset and behavior, unfiltered by their different life experiences. This replacement will become complete within twenty-four hours of the initial order."
The things in Edd's table fell onto the ground, as he pressed his hands against its surface. His face showed complete fear and shock, horror and awe included, as he realized the full depth of Ikaros' words. Whatever power she held, it was enough to do something like this, and being faced with its full effect was too much for him to take.
"Master…" That damned word. Edd flinched as he heard it, turning away at once. "Have I done something wrong?"
A part of him wanted to blame her; he had never wanted any of that! It wasn't an order, it was just an accident! He had only been so tired that he spoke what had been through his mind, and…
…that was what kept him from blaming her. Even if he was still shocked and wanted to just blame her… the truth was, this had not been the first time he had felt Ed and Eddy were wrong, for being themselves. He had prided himself so much on his knowledge, on being the smarter member of their little trio, of being polite and orderly and of respecting all rules… that he sometimes had come to dislike, quite greatly, the fact that neither of the other Eds was enough like him. He remembered the times when Ed had been disappointed that they wouldn't do a single movie marathon together, Edd having disapproved of his choices of movies or comics so often, or the time when Eddy had convinced them to wear that ridiculously tight set of swimming briefs for the pool party… a type of occasion that had become harder and harder to find in his memories, and not for lack of trying.
How often had he denied his friends, because they weren't so much like himself? And now that he had seen what they would be like if they were…
"You have to undo this…" he said, breathing slowly. "You have to change them back!"
"I cannot." Those words chilled him completely. "I cannot undo your order, Master."
"But… but why not?! I didn't mean to! It was just an accident!"
"I can only obey orders I am given… not question, alter, or undo them." Edd's arms felt even weaker than usual now. "I am sorry, Master, but I cannot undo your order."
"But, but then…" He shook his head, trying to think of a way out. "The-the time! You said it would take twenty-four hours, and I am refusing the order, so"
"You misunderstood me, Master. This twenty-four hour period is how long it will take before your memories become fully integrated to their presence. Once that time is up, you will no longer remember your previous friends."
"…no…"
His voice was a whisper. Edd fell to his knees, his hand accidentally feeling the chain around his hands. That damned chain… he couldn't stand it! It was just another reminder of what had happened, of what he had done!
Ikaros kneeled before him, looking at him with that same blank look as always. "Forgive me, Master. I did not know this was not your intention… that you had not meant what you said."
Every word stung. He had meant every word of it – he simply had not expected it to be real. He had been selfish and not thought about the consequences, just as he had thought of Ed and Eddy. This whole thing was his fault, and Ikaros had just been the one to do it for him.
His silent tears didn't please the Angeloid. She stared at him for a few seconds longer… "Master… do you wish for me to destroy myself?"
Bitter anger was in his heart, whether he knew it or not. "…sure," he uttered, not looking at her. "I mean… what else is left, right?"
"…yes, Master." She closed her eyes, even as a flash of light. A curious-looking gun had appeared on her hand, resembling more a toy than a real weapon thanks to its cutesy wings, shape, and pink color. Ikaros pointed it towards her own head, pulling on the safety.
A gunshot rang through the room.