Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any of the other characters belonging to the InuYasha series.
InuYasha has always been a hard headed hanyou with a rough exterior, molded by his tragic past. But what if everything that has ever happened to him, all the injustices and hard times that have made him who he is, disappeared? With Kagome's help, could he get a second chance to map his own course in life? And just maybe see the world a little differently! R&R Please
My Key
Chapter 2 The Empty Mirror
It was now very early in the morning, just after four AM, the sun hadn't even started to brighten the eastern sky yet. Kagome sat quietly in the back seat of the car starring out the window at the dark houses as they sped down the quiet residential road. Maverick sat quietly in the back seat with her, playing with a colourful rock he had found while helping to search for InuYasha. It seemed like hours they had spent wondering the streets, peering into the shadows between buildings and the dark and empty parks and playgrounds along side streets, searching, hoping for any sign of InuYasha. The whole time Kagome had only one thought on her mind. She had to find him. She had to make sure he was ok and hoping to god that he hadn't hurt anyone else.
Then out of nowhere, Dr. Williams had pulled up next to them and informed them someone had found InuYasha and he was safe. Kagome had never felt so relieved in all her life as she and Maverick clambered into the car before it peeled away. But now as Kagome got closer and closer to being reunited with InuYasha her mind couldn't help but wonder what she was going to find. Would InuYasha be angry with her for leaving him in the hospital? Or would he be relieved to finally see a familiar face? Kagome scarcely dared to consider the worst case scenario as the car suddenly slowed in front of the only house on the street that still had its lights on. Kagome felt her heart flutter nervously as she clutched Tessaiga close to her chest before slowly opening the car door and stepped out. She took a few uncertain steps towards the house and looked around at the dimly lit yard. Large trees dotted the property and a beautiful expansive garden twisted its way across the front of the house and around the base of the trees and along the path. As Kagome looked around she wondered if all the plants and trees here had helped InuYasha relax and feel safer in her world of concrete and steel.
The front door of the house opened and a tall man appeared silhouetted in the light. Kagome looked at him for a moment before running towards the house.
"InuYasha … where is he? Is he ok?" She asked in a rush as the man came down the steps to meet her.
"You must be Kagome." The man said in a welcoming voice as he extended his hand towards the worried young girl. Kagome starred at his hand for a second before finally reaching out and accepting the offer. The man seemed to radiate a steady sort of calm as if there was nothing in the world that could shake him. The feeling was such a contrast to the way Kagome was feeling inside it had taken her aback slightly. But as the man's strong hand closed around hers she felt a small amount of her fear and worry being replaced by something else, something stronger and warmer that made her feel a little more reassured that no matter what happened next, everything was going to turn out ok.
"Kagome, my name is Kaiman. It is nice to meet you." The man said giving Kagome a reassuring smile before releasing her hand. Kagome just starred up at the man. The dark skin, fine features and bright blue eyes of Kaiman's friendly face seemed young but Kagome had a feeling he was much older then he looked.
"Good evening Dr. Williams, and Maverick. It is good to see you." Kaiman said turning his attention towards the other two people standing behind Kagome. Dr. Williams nodded his head in greeting while Maverick flashed him a wide smile and waved a small hand through the air.
"Can I go in to see InuYasha now?" Kagome asked as she once again found her voice. Kaiman turned back towards Kagome,
"InuYasha is inside my home. He is ok for the moment so I think it would be best if we spoke first outside." He said as he leaned back and closed the front door before motioning everyone towards a bench and lawn chair nestled quaintly off to the side of the front door. Kaiman took a seat in the chair while Dr. Williams took one side of the bench. Maverick sat down on the ground and resumed his inquisitive examination of his rock. Kagome hesitated as she stared back at the house; she wanted to see InuYasha now.
"It's ok, be patient Kagome …." Was all Kaiman had to say in his calming tone to pull Kagome away from the door and towards the bench where she took a seat next to Dr. Williams.
"I'm guessing there is much more to the young lad I found tonight then the good doctor here told me over the phone." Kaiman said watching Kagome carefully. Dr. Williams gave Kagome a cautious sideways glance wondering what she would say. He remembered when He had first met Kagome she had been reluctant to tell him the truth about who InuYasha was and where he had come from.
Kagome wasn't sure what to say or what this man expected from her but she finally nodded her head confirming Kaiman's suspicions.
"Where is he from?" Kaiman asked curiously.
"It's extremely hard to explain … but it's a place very very different from here." Kagome answered.
"That probably hasn't helped with his confusion. He's feeling very lost he doesn't seem to know where he is or how he got here. I managed to coax him back to my home and calm him down somewhat but he is still very easily agitated. When you see him I would suggest you take it slow and speak calmly. Do not overwhelm him."
Kagome listened to Kaiman as he spoke but she couldn't help but dismiss his cautionary advice. He didn't know InuYasha the way she did. InuYasha knew who she was, she was sure that as soon as he saw her everything would be ok.
"Kagome there is one other thing. Does his family know where he is?" Kaiman asked.
"What? Why?" Kagome asked feeling a little confused by the question.
"Are they close enough that they get here to see him? He was asking for them." Kaiman continued. Kagome hesitated a moment before answering,
"He has no family … just our small group of friends. That's all!" She finally answered in a quiet voice. Kaiman's expression suddenly became confused as he looked from Kagome to the doctor and back.
"I don't understand …? Why would he ask …" Kagome said trailing off. Kaiman took a deep breath before answering.
"Are you sure Kagome? He said he needed to find his mother."
Kagome's heart dropped in her chest. She felt a slight surge of fear well up inside her which she quickly forced back. She refused to believe this could be true. InuYasha just needed time to sort out what was happening, then everything would go back to normal. It had to, no matter how many times InuYasha had gotten hurt he always bounced back.
"Kagome …?" Dr. Williams asked noticing the worried look on Kagome's face. Kagome looked back up at the two men.
"What happened to InuYasha's mother?" Kaiman asked watching Kagome closely again.
"She's …. She died." Kagome answered.
"I don't know how or exactly when but I know she was killed a long time ago when InuYasha was very young …. That's all he ever told me. He doesn't like to talk about her." Kagome continued. Kaiman turned thoughtfully towards the doctor again as if looking for his opinion. The doctor simply looked back with a solemn expression.
"What … what is it?" Kagome asked as he watched the wordless exchange pass between the two men.
"Kagome you knew there was a chance InuYasha's injuries had affected his memory." Dr. Williams began.
"You yourself expressed concerns about this when you first came to us. I think it's clear to say his memory loss is no longer a matter of speculation." He continued.
"What are you saying … that he can't remember that his mother was killed? But … but that was ages ago … " Kagome asked. Kagome felt a new surge of dread threaten to overwhelm her. If InuYasha couldn't remember something as monumental in his life as that then what else could he have forgotten?
The doctor shrugged his shoulders thoughtfully,
"I'm just saying it's a strong possibility at the moment that you need to be prepared for. I can't say anything for certain until I've had a chance to examine InuYasha properly. And even if he has lost his memory there is no telling if it will be permanent. It may just take time for him to regain what he has lost."
Kagome suddenly stood.
"I need to see InuYasha. Maybe he just … just needs to see someone he knows." Kagome said as she started towards the house.
"I'll let you in to see InuYasha." Kaiman said appearing at Kagome's side,
"but you need to compose yourself, and you need to keep an open mind."
Kagome took a deep breath and nodded. The doctor stood as well and walked up behind her,
"I'll hang back … just in case he recognizes me from the hospital. That may not go over so well at the moment."
Kaiman nodded his head and then lead them back towards the house. Kagome tightened her grip around Tessaiga once more as she followed him through the front door and into the house. Suddenly Kaiman motioned with his hand for her to wait. Kagome stopped reluctantly and watched as Kaiman walked confidently towards the kitchen.
"InuYasha?" he called as he peered through the doorway. Then he turned and looked around the living room.
"InuYasha where are you?" Kaiman called as he carefully surveyed the room before disappearing down a long hallway. Kagome suddenly felt an awful feeling begin to grow in her stomach. Kaiman returned with a bewildered look on his face,
"He's gone …"
Kagome stood rooted to the floor. She'd lost him again. The worry and panic from before began seeping through her once more but at that moment Dr. Williams appeared at the front door again,
"Come with me." He said and disappeared again. Kagome rushed out the door behind him and followed him around the house. Suddenly the sound of quiet laughter reached her ears and she slowed as she turned around the corner into the backyard. The landscape of the backyard was even more spectacular then the front yard with flowers and brilliant leafy plants growing everywhere and stone pathways that spread out in all directions from the center of the garden. At the center was a huge oak tree and sitting cross legged at the base, nestled amongst the tangles of roots, were Maverick and InuYasha.
Kagome came to an immediate halt as she spotted them. She couldn't make out exactly what they were saying but the scene seemed to radiate with a childlike innocence. InuYasha was looking at something in his hand which Kagome recognized as the rock Maverick had been playing with. She watched as Maverick leaned forwards and pointed out something on the rock before throwing his arms up in the air as if he was reenacting some grand adventure he'd been on. InuYasha broke out into a smile and even let out a short laugh. Kagome couldn't remember the last time she had heard InuYasha laugh. He normally had little to no patience for young children and yet here he was playing with Maverick like they were friends.
Suddenly InuYasha's ears twitched and he looked up in their direction. Everyone tensed unsure of how he would react to them. InuYasha's eyes went wide and his entire body language changed. Surprisingly he didn't become defensive, instead he appeared almost fearful. Kagome had never known InuYasha to be afraid of anything and felt a little startled by this. He was actually afraid of her!
Maverick suddenly lifted his hand into the air and waved at them.
"Hi!" he yelled happily. InuYasha looked nervously from the others to Maverick and back again. Maverick casually turned towards InuYasha,
"Those are my friends. They're really nice. You should meet them!" and without hesitating he jumped up and ran over towards Kagome. Kagome wasn't sure what to do but as Maverick came up to her he gave her a wink before grabbing her hand and rushing back towards InuYasha.
InuYasha looked more than a little uncertain as Maverick brought Kagome over and sat back down under the tree. Kagome hesitated, watching InuYasha carefully. He didn't say anything as he stared back at her with wide watchful eyes.
"This is Kagome, she's your friend to. Do you remember her?" Maverick asked. Kagome could feel InuYasha giving her a long hard look, searching her eyes and her face. She held her breath willing him to remember. Finally InuYasha shook his head, 'no'. In that moment Kagome's world seemed to cave in on itself.
An hour later found Kagome sitting on the front step of Kaiman's house fighting back tears. She simply didn't know what to do or where to go from here. InuYasha had looked right at her, and not recognized her. She had sat with him and Maverick and talked for a while and still he did not remember her.
InuYasha had always been there. Sometimes as someone she quarreled with, sometimes as someone who protected her, but always, even when times were at their toughest, he had been there as a friend. Now when Kagome looked into InuYasha's amber eyes trying to find that person, he was gone. Now there was someone else starring back at her. Someone she had never shared a campfire with, or fought alongside or defended with her life. This person was a stranger and Kagome's heart felt like it would do anything to have InuYasha back.
Kagome sniffled and turned her head away as the door behind her opened and a wide swath of light lit the steps. A second later Kaiman appeared and sat down next to Kagome. He didn't say anything at first, he simply sat starring up into the sky.
"It's going to be a beautiful sunrise." He said in a quiet voice. Kagome was surprised by the comment and turned looking towards the east. The suns light was just beginning to show but there was no sign yet of the usual morning colours or any evidence that this sunrise was going to be anything special.
"How can you tell?" Kagome finally asked in a tired sounding voice.
"Because every morning is a beautiful morning. Every time we are lucky enough to behold the start of a new day and the endless possibilities it holds, it is beautiful indeed." Kaiman answered with a small smile. Kagome bowed her head,
"At the moment I'm still wishing it was yesterday." Kagome said.
"Aw but looking back can be a beautiful thing to, but only if it doesn't stop you from moving into the future." Kaiman continued as he stretched his hand out in front of him. Kagome didn't say anything this time. She wasn't really interested in hearing his version of a motivational speech at the moment.
"Kagome I now you feel like you have lost something tonight. But InuYasha is feeling just as lost and even though I'm not clear on all the detail surrounding you two, I think he needs you just as much as you need him. But you can't help him if you focus on what is gone."
Kagome slowly looked up and waited for Kaiman to continue,
"Kagome you need to help InuYasha find himself, whether that be who he was …. Or who he could be."
Kagome's forehead creased questioningly as she listened but before she could say anything the doctor appeared in the door way behind them and they both turned to see him. Stretching his arms over his head, he let out a loud yawn before moving down the steps and slumping down to have a seat on the walkway.
"You look exhausted my friend!" Kaiman said with a laugh.
"Aw no! Working a seventeen hour shift and then spending my entire night chasing a kid who's not only lost his memory but also gotten lost in time is a piece of cake, I do it all the time." He answered sarcastically. Then he looked up and saw the look on Kagome's face and regretting sounding so nonchalant.
"I'm sorry Kagome … I didn't mean … god I must tired." He said as he wiped a hand across his face as he tried to apologize.
"It's ok … and I appreciate everything you and everyone else has done tonight. I know bringing InuYasha here wasn't exactly like handing you guys a text book kind of case." Kagome said with a grateful smile.
"Don't worry about it … we're glad to help … I just wish it had all gone a little smoother on our part."
"So did you learn anything that might tell you how we can help InuYasha?" Kagome asked unable to hide her hopefulness. The doctor looked up at Kagome and felt a twinge of guilt,
"Once you guys convinced InuYasha to cooperate with me the examination went fine. I examined his wounds which, partly in thanks to the treatment we gave him at the hospital, seem to have completely healed. Even the injuries he sustained trying to leave the hospital are gone already." He answered.
"But …?" Kagome continued for him sensing that was not all he had to say. The doctor took another deep breath,
"Our medicine helped to heal his body … but not his mind. I can't say if it was the trauma or something else but his memory is … severely compromised."
"What exactly does that mean?" Kagome asked.
"He knows his name. He remembers how to walk and talk and all the other basic functions of life. He also remembers what many everyday items are called … or at least the ones he would have in his time … trees, dog, bird, house, girl, things like that. But his memories, every thing or event that has happened to him in his life since he was a young child seems to be gone … and I can't say whether some or any of it will ever come back. Right now in his mind's eye I think he sees himself as a child version of himself, because that is all he can remember. I think that is why he seems to associate with Maverick more than us."
"And why he asked for his mother." Kagome added in a sad voice. The doctor just nodded.
Kagome stared for a moment without saying a word. What else was there to say? No words were going to change what had happened. Now she needed to figure out what to do from here. She couldn't give up that somewhere inside the InuYasha she knew was still there.
A car pulled up on the street in front of the house and the nurse Kagome had met at the hospital in InuYasha's ward stepped out.
"Hey guys!" She called as she flashed them all a tired smile.
"From the looks on your faces … I'm going to guess the news is not all good." She said with a heavy sigh as she came to a stop in front of them. Everyone present shook their heads 'no'.
"Don't lose hope yet Kagome." She said giving Kagome a reassuring smile,
"Life can have a funny way of surprising us." She continued. Kagome returned the smile thankfully.
"With all the excitement going on I never got a chance to introduce myself, I'm Sydney. And I'm going to assume Maverick introduced himself." She added. Kagome laughed,
"Yes, he's quite the kid." Kagome answered.
"He was actually very helpful tonight." Doctor Williams added,
"I don't think I would have gotten near InuYasha without him!"
At that moment Maverick came running around the side of the house and ran straight towards Sydney.
"Hey, there he is!" Sydney called out as she scooped the little boy up into her arms. InuYasha also appeared, following slowly behind. He was now wearing a pair of old grey sweat pants and a navy blue t-shirt Kaiman had found instead of the tattered hospital pants.
"Hello again InuYasha." Sydney said giving InuYasha a friendly smile. InuYasha looked at Maverick and then back to Sydney. He searched her face as if trying to place her. Then as if a light went on he looked over at the doctor and put two and two together.
"You were at the hospital …?" InuYasha asked in a quiet voice. Sydney nodded her head. InuYasha looked a little nervous as he watched Sydney and the doctor for a moment before speaking again,
"Everything that happened just feels like a blur … I can't remember everything I did … but I feel like I might have …. made a mess of things..." InuYasha said trying to sound apologetic. Despite everything Kagome knew she could still scarcely believe this was InuYasha. He never apologized, never acted uncertain or nervous. He was acting like a little kid who was afraid he was going to be in trouble.
Sydney just smiled. She was amazed at how much different InuYasha seemed now that he didn't feel trapped or scared.
"It's ok InuYasha, don't worry about it. Nothing that happened tonight was your fault." Sydney answered with a smile.
"Anyways I think we better get going. It's long overdue for this kid to be in bed ... hmm?" she continued after a moment giving Maverick a knowing look. Maverick had his head resting on Sydney's shoulder, he smiled but didn't argue. It had been a long night for everyone and they all looked exhausted.
"Can we give InuYasha a ride home?" Maverick asked suddenly raising his head.
"Um … sure if they want us to. InuYasha … Kagome? Does that sound like a good idea to you?"
Kagome and InuYasha looked at each other for a moment. Kagome still couldn't get used to the unfamiliar look in InuYasha's eyes she got every time he looked at her. She was also trying to wrap her head around what she was going to do with him now.
Finally Kagome nodded her head deciding driving was probably better than trying to walk home and having Maverick there might make the car ride more manageable. Kagome recalled InuYasha being in a car once before and he hadn't been overly thrilled with the trip, it would be interesting to see how he would react now.
Everyone said their 'thank you's and 'good bye's and InuYasha and Kagome slid into Sydney's car. Kagome sat in the front while InuYasha shared the back with Maverick. The ride to Kagome's shrine wasn't long but it was interesting. Maverick kept InuYasha preoccupied the entire time asking him questions and telling him about things they saw outside the window. He even explained how the traffic lights worked so cars didn't get into accidents on the roads. Kagome couldn't help but smile as InuYasha seemed to absorb everything the little boy said. When Sydney pulled the car over in front of the shrine Kagome and InuYasha said their final good byes and disembarked. As the car pulled away InuYasha watched it disappear and his face seemed to take on a look of uncertainty again.
"InuYasha …? What's the matter?" Kagome asked.
"Will Maverick come back?" InuYasha asked. Kagome smiled,
"Probably not today, but I'm sure we'll see them again." Kagome answered. Then InuYasha turned his attention to the tall stairway that led up to the shrine. He still seemed uncertain but he followed Kagome without protest. As they came over the top stairs InuYasha looked around at the shrine grounds. This place gave him a good feeling unlike the hospital or the dark streets he had found himself in before. The wind gently rustled the leaves of the trees that surrounded them. It was quieter here and more open, something about it just felt safe.
They didn't speak much as they made their way across the grounds in the early morning light. Kagome hesitated as she passed by the well house, but quickly moved on towards her home. She opened the front door and moved inside as quietly as she could. She had called her mother to let her know what was going on and suspected everyone had finally gone to sleep by now.
InuYasha moved cautiously through hallways and rooms following Kagome right to her bedroom where Kagome quickly ushered InuYasha in and closed the door again. As she turned, she noticed InuYasha crouching down on the floor again as he looked around the room curiously. It was interesting to Kagome that he did this. He seemed to continuously revert back to this position when he wasn't walking or moving around. Kagome wondered if what Dr. Williams had said was true, if InuYasha really did see himself as a little kid again. Maybe seeing the world from a child's point of view was more familiar to him.
Kagome remained quiet as she allowed InuYasha to get a feel for his new surroundings again. InuYasha suddenly spotted himself in the full length mirror that hung on the wall by Kagome's closet. He slowly turned to face the mirror and a strange look came over him as if he almost didn't recognize himself. He could see Kagome watching him from behind in the reflection of the room. He watched her closely. He wanted to remember who she was, he really did. But his mind just seemed to be blank. It didn't even feel like he was missing anything because he had no memories to reference time or events. But as he took in his surroundings and looked at himself in the mirror he knew, something just wasn't right. He didn't feel right.
Finally after several long minutes InuYasha slowly stood and straightened up to his full height. Without taking his eyes from the mirror he spoke,
"My mother …. She's gone isn't she?" he asked. Kagome was unprepared for the question and just stood quietly trying to think of what she should tell him. After a moment InuYasha turned and saw the sad look on Kagome's face and he knew. Strangely his expression didn't change.
"When I see her in my mind I feel like it's fresh and real as if I only just saw her … but I know it must have been a long time ago … she makes me feel sad, but the feeling in so familiar as if it's been a part of me forever." InuYasha added quietly. Kagome felt a wave of emotions wash over her but for InuYasha's sake she managed kept her composer,
"I'm sorry InuYasha." She finally said.
"Do you know how she died?" InuYasha asked. Kagome shook her head,
"You never told me. All I know is it happened a very long time ago."
InuYasha turned his head away and didn't say anything. Kagome took a few steps towards him.
"Do you remember anything? Even just a flash of something that might help you remember who you are now?" Kagome asked. InuYasha looked around and then down at the sword Kagome still held in her hands.
"That's … not yours, is it?" InuYasha said pointing at Tessaiga. Kagome actually smiled as hope flooded her eyes,
"That's right! Do you know whose it is?" Kagome asked. InuYasha starred at the sword for a while longer but finally he shook his head no. Kagome's heart sank a little but she reminded herself that any step no matter how small was still a step in the right direction.
"InuYasha I need to tell you something very important. This sword belonged to your father and he passed it on to you. It's called Tessaiga and it is more important than you can possibly understand right now. You have to promise me that you will never go anywhere without it, and that you will always keep it with you no matter what!" Kagome said in a serious voice as she handed the sword to InuYasha. InuYasha stared at the sword for a moment longer before slowly reaching out his hand to take it from Kagome. As his fingers wrapped around the sheath he brushed against Kagome's hand. For a second InuYasha felt a strange warm feeling in his chest. There was something familiar about Kagome, like an after image in his mind that he just couldn't quite focus on and the harder he tried the faster it seemed to slip away. Her voice, her smell, and now her touch, and despite still feeling unfamiliar it all seemed almost comforting somehow.
"I'm going to go grab something to eat from the kitchen. Will you be ok here for a minute?" Kagome asked as she turned back towards the bedroom door. InuYasha nodded his head and watched as Kagome slid out the door and closed it behind her again. He listened to her footsteps getting farther down the hall before he turned towards the window and looked out at the gently waving branches of the trees. Almost everyone he had encountered so far, Kagome, Maverick, Kaiman, even the doctor and Sydney had seemed like they were really concerned for InuYasha's wellbeing. He only wished for their sakes that he would remember something, see something that would make him see what he was missing.
Several minutes later Kagome returned to the bedroom carrying two plates with sandwiches. It wasn't much but it was the best she could do in such a short time. Kagome looked around the room searching for InuYasha and noticed him asleep on her bed, curled up with one hand still holding tight to Tessaiga. Kagome put the plates down on her desk and moved to crouch down next to her bed. She watched InuYasha's sleeping face wishing it could be as simple as him waking up as if nothing had happened. Kagome let out a deep sigh, she knew it was unrealistic to think that way.
Turning her eyes towards the window, she realized there was still something else she had to do before she herself could get some sleep.
Kagome's feet landed hard on the bottom of the old bone eaters well and she stumbled catching herself against the wall at the last second. She was so exhausted she didn't even know how she was going to muster the energy to pull herself up and out of the well.
"Kagome!" Shippou suddenly shrieked from above. Kagome looked up just as Miroku, Sango and Kirra's faces joined Shippou at the opening and starred down at her.
"You're back!" Sango shouted happily.
"Where is InuYasha?" Miroku asked as he looked down, watching expectantly for their friend to appear any moment.
Kagome just stared back at her friends. She was sure they had been sitting by the well all night. Wondering what was happening, if everything was alright and waiting for her and InuYasha to return safely. How was she going to tell them the InuYasha they knew was gone?
R&R please :)