Chapter 5: In which Tony is brutally interrogated and we meet the other family

Disclaimer: Still do not own. Sorry lawyers.

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"Tony, where do you go in the mornings? I mean, I assumed it was just the lab or something, but you weren't there yesterday," Clint asked conversationally as he scavenged for food in the large kitchen. It was slightly scary how much they all consumed.

Tony ate a lot, being a grown man who was constantly working.

Natasha and Clint had to eat a lot, too, given how much exercise they had.

Bruce was eating for two people, one of them being a gigantic green rage monster.

Steve's metabolism ran four times as fast as a normal person's, and that plus constantly working to save the world gave him a huge appetite.

Thor was a god. 'Nuff said.

It was probably a good thing that Tony was a billionaire. The amount they ate, the cost needed to fix everything they broke (which was a hell of a lot, really), villain attacks, and various other expenses tended to rack up.

Compared to them, Pepper, Darcy, and Jane (who all lived at the Tower. Jane and Thor were thinking of getting married; and Darcy, after being given some useless, high-paying job by Tony – mostly to keep her around because she made him laugh – had begun a rather confusing but stable relationship with Bruce) ate practically nothing.

The Avengers had avoided each other in the beginning, but risking their lives for each other for more than half a year turned out to be a wonderful bonding agent. Steve and Thor were the first to form a friendship, then Clint, and surprisingly (deciding that if Clint could, she could) Natasha. Bruce had taken a little longer, nervous about the Hulk, but after meeting and being asked out by Darcy (she couldn't wait for the shy doctor to ask her) he had loosened up a great deal. Tony, while owning basically the entire Tower and nearly everything in it, had managed to never be available, and when he was, he was up to his elbows in machinery or paperwork.

Then Steve had come very close to dying when saving Tony's life. (From a rampaging, purple jelly monster that smelled like grape jelly and bleach, but they usually left that bit out.)

And so eventually friendships were formed and boundaries made.

When Clint, Tony, and Darcy all grinned a little maniacally at random points, everyone learned to evacuate, but first check themselves in a mirror for kick-me notes or marker on face.

They learned how to cheer Steve up when he got to angsting.

They learned not to touch Darcy's iPod, Jane's scientific equiptment, or Pepper's paperwork.

They'd all learned how to talk to the Hulk, and Hulk learned not to smash everything on sight (unless they were in a battle or anything by Justin Bieber was on. In case of the first, everyone was grateful. In the case of the second, no one blamed him).

Clint and Natasha learned to open up. Not too much, though, they had to keep their super-scary assassin facades sometimes.

Everyone learned not to annoy each other to the edge.

They also learned when to drag Tony out of the lab and feed him, and when to leave him alone because he was busy discovering cold fusion or designing a lightsaber or something.

So, life didn't completely suck in the Tower.

And Clint and Bruce were absolutely amazing cooks, so there.

Fury was proud. Actually, he was totally relieved. Either they were going to blow each other up on the first week or they'd become, as Tony put it, 'super-secret-awesome-spandex-or-gold/titanium-alloy-wearing-BFFs-for-life'.

"Oh, y'know, just a coffee shop, nowhere special," Tony replied offhandedly, catching up to the news on his Starkpad.

Steve looked up from his newspaper (which he insisted on, despite Tony's protests). "Wait, the one with that one girl-"

"Who threw the rock at Loki? Yeah."

"Wait – you two've met her?" Natasha queried.

"Mhm. Why?"

"You should have reported that!"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Dear Mr. Fury. Today I met a fourteen-year-old girl in a café, who threw a rock at Loki months ago. Love, Tony."

Steve's smiled a little, but Natasha didn't. "Seriously, Tony, she might have been a spy!"

"I've been meeting her for months now. If she is a spy, I'm screwed."

"Hang on, you've been meeting a fourteen-year-old in a café for months? Dude, you are such a pedophile! Steve! Not you, too!" Clint backed away from Tony.

"She's fifteen now! And I'm not a pedophile!" Tony glared. "And Steve was only there once."

"She's not your daughter, is she?" Bruce asked.

"The Man of Iron has a daughter?" Thor clapped Tony on the back gently. (Well, gently for Thor, so basically really hard.)

"No! Jesus, you people have such perverted minds! Pepper," Tony moaned as the strawberry blonde walked in, Darcy and Jane following. "They think I'm a pedophile!"

"Or she's your daughter…"

"Or both!"

"Ewwww, Tony, gross!"

"Are they talking about Nina?" Pepper asked, reaching for the decaf tea. How she managed everything on just that, antacids, and (in Tony's mind) gross healthy green stuff, no one will ever know.

"Yes!"

"Her name is Nina?" Natasha asked.

"Yes, and she won't be on any of your S.H.I.E.L.D. files, Spidey. She's not a supervillain or anything."

"Everyone is on our files."

"That's…kinda kinky."

"Shut it."

"Lady Pepper, have you seen the Poptarts?"

"No, we're out."

"What?"

"Thor, you ate all of them yesterday."

"Yeah, you were showing Darcy how much you could eat."

"How much could he eat? I got a stomachache after watching him for three hours and had to walk out."

"A lot, apparently. We don't have anything left."

"Anything?"

"Um… two bruised apples, a stale box of cereal, and a few boxes of… two week old Chinese. Yuck. Besides that, nothing."

"We must obtain more food!"

"To the grocery store!"

"I'm Tony Stark. I don't do grocery shopping."

"Who buys all our food, anyway?"

"It just sorta… shows up."

"Oh my god, that's creepy."

"I buy it. And put it away. Steve helps, too."

"Not really, Pepper. I just carry the heavy stuff."

"Steviekins, you're too modest. Pepper, you do everything."

"Only because you're too lazy, Tony."

"I'm not lazy!"

"Yes you are."

"Mhm."

"Yeah…"

"Yup."

"You kinda are."

"Sorry, Tony."

"I'm not lazy! I'm a brilliant billionaire genius and all of you are brutally interrogating me. I'm leaving!"

"Where?"

"To his daughter, of course!"

"I wish to meet her, this daughter of yours."

"Me too."

"That's it. Tony, we are going to meet this girl."

"What? No!"

"Tony, as leader of the Avengers, I think we ought to meet this girl and make sure she's not a threat. Also we can get something to eat because I'm really hungry."

"I second that!"

"C'mon, then. Let's grab a car!"

"Um, I don't think we'll fit."

"We might need a bus, actually."

"We should get a bus."

"An Avengers bus!"

"Watch out, bad guys, they'll say! Here comes the Avengers bus!"

"That's tacky. And slow."

"Indeed, I would much rather fly to our destination with Mjiolnir."

"We'll just take a couple cars."

"You will not touch my cars!"

"You just keep thinking that."

"Bruce, press the button! Level one, garage!"

"I'm trying, but this elevator is seriously crowded!"

"Thor, move your bloody arm! You're choking me!"

"I apologize, Anthony, but there is nowhere to move it."

"God, Clint, you don't need to bring your bow!"

"How did you know?"

"IT"S STICKING ME IN THE BACK!"

"Oh."

"Why didn't we take the stairs?"

"We're here!"

"No need to push!"

"RIGHT! Darcy, Natasha, and Clint, in that one!"

"Nooooo, not that one! Clint, one scratch and you die!"

"Thor, Jane, and Pepper in that one!"

"Pepper is driving! Thor gets locked in the trunk-OW! Jane!"

"Me, Tony, and Bruce will take that one!"

"Why am I stuck with the responsible people?"

"Because you're Tony Stark!"

"Why do people keep using my name as an insult? It's the greatest compliment there is!"

"Where the hell is this café, anyway?"

"I'll never tell you!"

"I know where it is!"

"What? You haven't been there for seven months!"

"Perfect memory."

"Fuck you!"

"Wait, does that mean you remember everything? Even that time when I-"

"Darcy, I will never forget that."

"Crap."

"C'mon, Steve! Get in the car and lead the way!"

"I get shotgun."

"No way! My car, my seats."

"Too late. Get in the back."

"GAH!"

"EVERYONE! All of you just follow my car!"

"It's my car!"

"See you there!"

"Tony, who're you calling?"

"Nina! I'm warning her that an entire circus is showing up today!"

"Nope."

"Bruce, gimmie my phone back! Steve, make Bruce give me my phone back."

"Sorry, Tony, but I think we're trying to surprise her here."

"GAH! STEVE, THAT WAS A RED LIGHT!"

"Oops."

"This is really not helping the Other Guy, Captain…"

"Who taught you how to drive?"

"No one."

"WHAT?"

"I don't know how to drive a car!"

"Why are you driving, th- RED LIGHT RED LIGHT RED LIGHT!"

"Because I'm the only one besides you who knows where the café is!"

"Is everyone still even following us?"

"Yes, somehow – STEVE, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STOP AT STOP SIGNS!"

"STEVE! DO NOT HIT THAT MAN!"

"STEVE! THAT IS NOT THE BRAKE! THAT IS THE ACCELERATION!"

"We're here!"

"Everyone OUT of my car!"

"Steve, it was really hard following you…"

"That's not too hard to believe, 'Tasha, since he doesn't know how to drive!"

"You need to take Drivers Ed. Badly."

"I can ride a motorbike!"

"Not the same thing."

"HEY! Steve, is that the café?"

"Yes. C'mon."

"NOOOOOO! NINA! RUN!"

"Shut up, you're making a scene."

"I think the Avengers walking into a café and interrogating some fifteen-year-old girl is a scene!"

"Whatever. Onwards!"

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MEANWHILE

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Nina was having a normal day. She got up, took a shower, got dressed, and cleaned the house a bit (a job she was always stuck with, because Isabella was a slob and Gwen was never home long enough to). She also called Milah, her friend who'd moved to London a few years ago. The four-hour time difference made it a bit annoying, though. Good thing Milah was an early riser.

Afterwards, she headed to the café. It was a gorgeous day, she noticed, soaking in the warm sun. Her laptop was under her arm in her messenger bag.

When she got there, she greeted Sarah and slid into he seat. Tony wasn't there, but she was usually first, when he did come. Nina pulled out her laptop. She opened up ALEKS and began to work. It sucked that she had homework to do over the summer, but she struggled in math more than any subject, and it took her longer to finish than any of her other classes (all of which were online as well, except for Composition IV, which she took at a co-op). She hoped that Tony would be here, because she really didn't get proofs.

She got a call, but before she could answer it, it stopped ringing. She didn't have caller ID (probably the last person on earth not to) so she had no idea who it was. Probably a wrong number.

Minutes later, she heard a commotion outside. Looking out, she saw…

An annoyed Tony. Well, okay.

A blushing, tall man that Nina vaguely recognized. Steve Rogers.

A tall, muscled guy with shoulder-length, silky blonde hair. Thor, maybe? She'd only seen them on TV, fighting, with blurry shots. Except for that one time with Loki, but then they were all in suits, armed, and covered in gore. It was hard to recognize them now, and only Tony was completely open with the public about his 'other identity'.

A confident-looking woman with medium length, strawberry red hair. Nina knew her from the papers: Pepper Pots.

Another redhead, only instead of light red, hers was fiery and dark. She had a body that Nina would kill for.

She stood close to (yet another) tall blonde, whose shirtsleeves had been cut off, showcasing wiry arms. He was laughing, and Nina was sure she caught a glint of blue eyes. They must be the Black Widow and Hawkeye, then, if Thor and Captain America were here.

Which meant that the floppy, brown haired, older man must be Bruce Banner. He was glaring at Steve, and saying something Nina couldn't hear.

That left two women, which Nina guessed to be Darcy and Jane, who Tony often talked about. She wasn't sure which was which until one grabbed Thor's hand. She must be Jane, then. So the curvy one who was laughing so loudly must be Darcy.

Then Hawkeye pointed imperiously at the café and marched in, everyone following him, Steve dragging a reluctant Tony.

Quickly, Nina looked back at her screen and straightened her shoulders, wiping the smile off her face.

"Is that her?"

"Looks like her."

"C'mon!"

"Tony goes first."

"There isn't enough room at the table for all of us!"

"Good, 'cause you ain't sitting with us. Go away!"

"After we came all this way?"

"Stop being so rude, Tony."

"Yeah, introduce us!"

They all clustered at the entrance of the shop, looking at Nina, who was deliberately not looking back at them. She could hear Pepper apologizing profusely to Sarah, who was trying very hard not to laugh while assuring the businesswoman it was fine.

"Greetings! You must be the daughter the Man of Iron has been talking about." Thor decided that he was tired of waiting and went up to introduce himself. "I am Thor, Son of Odin."

Slowly, Nina looked up. "I am Nina Adams, very much not daughter of Tony Stark. And very happy about that fact. Will you sit down?"

Thor did, while Tony glared. "When did I say she was my daughter?"

"It was that or pedophile." Bruce shrugged.

"I'm not a pedophile!" Tony cried.

"Sure?" interjected Nina. "All those times you followed me home, creepy questions…"

"Tony!" Pepper and Steve yelled at the same time.

"I didn't…"

"I thought better of you!" Steve shook his head.

"I'm not…"

"Tony, you are disgusting! This poor girl…" Pepper cried.

"I haven't… Nina! The hell?"

She grinned. "Sorry, darlin', but that's revenge for the hazelnut incident."

"That was an accident!"

Nina gave him a look that, if Natasha didn't know better, was purely Coulson.

"Well, mostly an accident… but still!"

Clint saw the way the two interacted with each other, and was shocked. Nina acted like Tony was her little brother or something, and Tony looked comfortable. He recalled how long it had taken Tony to be like that with them.

"Um, no offense or anything," Nina interrupted Tony mid-sentence. "but why are you all here?"

"We wanted to meet you!" Darcy trilled.

"We wanted to see where Tony went so often in the mornings." Natasha elaborated.

"And?'

"We've found another Pepper!" Jane said.

"Or Steve…" Bruce corrected.

Nina cocked her head. "What?"

"Someone who can control Tony." At this point, everyone had cannibalized a chair from other tables and sat down.

"Then you mean Natasha." Tony folded his arms. "They both throw stuff."

Nina threw a pen at him. The uncapped side hit his face, leaving a sparkly green trail on his face (Nina's favorite color ink).

"Nice shot!" Clint and Nina shared a high five.

"She doesn't throw knives at you, though." smirked Natasha, proud of the fact that she was unique in this.

"Umm, actually…" Nina winced.

"Yes, she does!"

"It was just a butter knife!"

"No, they were just butter knives. And then there was that one time-"

"That doesn't count!"

"Why?"

"Because I didn't throw it at you, I just stabbed it at you!"

"Hmph."

"Oh, and hey, you still owe me 20$."

"No way! I totally won that bet!"

"She was a guy!"

"A gay guy who recently had surgery! Doesn't count!"

Pepper, Jane, Steve, and Bruce all choked simultaneously. Darcy and Clint were shaking with laughter. Thor just looked confused.

Then Tony's stomach growled. Loudly.

Nina leveled a glare at Tony. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Why?"

"Anthony Edward Stark, when did you last eat?"

"Three hours ago."

"Let me rephrase that. When did you last consume something that was not alcohol, coffee, junk food, or greasy leftover take-out?"

"Three days ago?"

"That's it. We're getting breakfast," she checked her watch. "Or lunch. Whatever. You're paying, Mr. Billionaire, and," she paused and looked around at the Avengers plus girlfriends, "you can come too, if you want."

So they went.

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A/N

Thanks muchly :) Also I think I like writing dialogue more than exposition. Ah well.