Chapter 7: In Which there are lasers, disclaimers, and – well, crap.

Disclaimer:

Happy: "We important characters who are somehow not in this story are here to make this disclaimer!"

Sif: "Actually, Nishikikouji is just hiding from a seriously pissed off Tony."

Peggy: "He's worried about Nina and what just happened last chapter."

Rhodey: "Yes, yes, and get on with it, I have a meeting to get to."

Happy: "What meeting? You're words on a screen! You only exist when being written about!"

Peggy: "Which is why we really should be in this story. I mean, I want to exist here, people!"

Sif: "I agree with Lady Peggy."

Happy: "Me too!"

Rhodey: "Kouji-"

Happy: "Oi! Shut up! As soon as we finish the disclaimer, the story'll start!"

Rhodey: "Good! Kouji doesn't-"

Peggy (drawing her gun): "Don't you finish that sentence, soldier."

Rhodey: "Don't I outrank you?"

Sif (lays her sword at Rhodey's throat): "Do not finish that sentence."

Happy: "We will never end this disclaimer! We will live forever!"

(Sif, Happy, and Peggy laugh maniacally. Rhodey looks annoyed.)

Wolverine: "Nishikikouji does not own-"

Happy: "Hey, why are you here?!"

Wolverine: "This is Marvel, right?"

Sif: "Well, yeah, but…"

(Snikt)

Peggy: "Ulp."

Wolverine: "Kouji does not own the Marvel Universe."

(Fade to black. Sif, Happy, and Peggy, are heard yelling.)

-. - - - .- / -.-. .- - -.-. ... / . - / .- .-.. .-..

Lasers, Tony thought. Fucking lasers.

He swore and pressed a small black button on his wrist cuffs, hearing the beep as it confirmed his thumbprints. It would take at least a minute for the suit to get here, so for now-

"Tony!" Steve cried. "Grab Nina and get out of here!"

Yes, that.

The captain hefted his shield in front of him and charged towards the source of the laser. Thor wasn't far behind, while Clint jumped to the sidelines and melted into the shadows, out of the illumination of the rapidly firing laser. Tony knew from experience that he'd be finding good vantage points. Natasha grabbed Jane and Darcy and ran in the opposite direction, knowing against a leaser there wasn't much she could do.

A roar shattered the air as the Other Guy made his appearance, and Tony was startled out of his reverie. He grabbed a blinking and dazed Nina – she had been facing the window, and as such gotten the full blast of light – and dashed to the backroom of the collapsing restaurant. Sounds of battles and yells were behind them, but Tony ignored them in favor of getting Nina out of there.

The workers must have fled, he realized when they got to the kitchen, shoving chairs, tables, and whatever debris was in their way. It was empty, and mostly undamaged. Thinking quickly, he opened what he was fairly sure was a pantry door (he was right) and turned to Nina.

"You'll be safer here than running around the streets, but don't hesitate to leave if you have to. Stay safe, and stay out. No rock throwing heroics, got it?" he demanded, speaking fast. Nina, eyes wide, nodded. He heard a whooshing sound and knew instinctively his suit was here. "You okay?" She nodded again. "Good." He raised his arms, and the suit attached itself to him.

Nina watched, awe on her face, as the faceplate lowered with a barely audible clink.

For a second, Tony stilled, wanting to say something more, but unsure of what.

"Go!" she said suddenly, a half-grin on her face. "Go save the world or whatever the hell it is this time – I'll be fine." She crossed her arms over her chest, in an attempt to look heroic, and stumbled, putting out a hand to catch herself. "Ahm… yeah."

He laughed, "Bye, clumsy," and activated his lifters.

"Go kill 'em, tiny!" she called after him.

She'll be fine, he reassured himself. If she can handle Loki, she can handle this.

.-. - -.- . - - -.

Nina watched him go, letting the smile slip from her face. The bangs, thumps, and thocks grew more and more distant after a few moments, and she supposed the battle was moving farther away.

Distantly, she wondered who had attacked, but didn't really care.

The walls around her spun, and she abruptly plopped down onto the ground.

Hm… I feel a little dizzy, she thought absentmindedly. And kinda numb. And… wet?

She looked down to her right arm.

Oh, what a pretty color… I do like red. Oh – and there's more of it! And sparkly stuff… glass, maybe? Anyway… It's nice… and warm… and…

.- . .-.. .-.. / ..-. ..- -.-. -.-

"There's someone here."

"Is it-"

"A civilian, I think. Little kid. Bleeding out, too. Yuck."

"Let me see – that's the one!"

"We should probably do something about her arm…"

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Hey, anybody here know what they're doing?"

.-. .-.. . .- ... . / -.. - -. .-. - / -.- .. .-.. .-.. / - . .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.-

The battle lasted longer than it should have, Tony supposed, though not because the villains (and it still felt utterly ridiculous calling them that, just as weird as calling himself a hero, but most of the time even the villains called themselves villains. It was like they were stuck in some bad action flick) were any good, but because the Avengers had to be so careful of civilian injury.

They'd already been sued once over the deaths of many of the Manhattan Incident, and while the general public had raised such an uproar that it had been retracted (people could do that?), it hadn't been a pleasant experience.

Plus they didn't want anybody to actually, y'know, get hurt.

In any case, the idiot with the laser turned out to be some nobody thief plagiarist, and once they had him cornered it took about five minutes to take him and his laser-tank down. SHIELD was on the spot in another two, and the NYPD hauled away the 'villain' in five.

So it was maybe an hour or two after Tony had left Nina alone in the pantry that he came back.

He strolled in the wrecked shop through the door, despite the Hulk-sized gaping hole in the side of the building. He was still impeccably dressed in his suit (despite a few tears and rips and plaster dust spots here and there), and, with the ease of practice, slipped on a pair of shades.

Through the kitchen, to the pantry… another minute or so.

"Hey, Ninakins," called Tony. "'M back, you can stop fretting your pretty heart-"

Empty.

Why is it- No. She must have just heard something and moved, is all. Still, he couldn't help but feel a slow, impending sense of fear.

And then he saw the pool of blood.

He let out a choked gasp, frozen to the spot for two milliseconds, then was off like a rocket, speeding out the store like he owned it.

"JARVIS," he ordered, and the robotic British voice responded immediately.

"Yes, sir?"

"I have a job for you."

.. - / ... - .-. .-. -.- / .. - / ... - .-. .-. -.- / .. - / ... - .-. .-. -.—

A/N

Jane: "Kouji's still hiding. So, apparently we've been drafted to do the author's notes. Despite not being authors."

Darcy: "Yeah, 'cause the disclaimer went so well."

Jane (pulls out a rolled piece of paper, the end dropping to the floor): "Er, what's this?"

Darcy: "The list of things to apologize for, methinks."

Jane (reading): "Umm... Let's see... jeez, Kouji's handwriting sucks."

Darcy: "Let me." (Grabs it) "Nishikikouji is sorry for: Grammar and spelling mistakes, late updates, short chapters, crappy plotlines, bad dialogue, what she just did to Nina- hang on, what happened to Nina?"

Jane: "Read the chapter."

5 MINUTES LATER

Darcy (pulls out her taser): Kouji's going down."