Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe. It was created by J K Rowling. Any characters/places you recognise are just being borrowed. No profit is being made from this.
A/N Apologies for the late post, I was ill for part of the week.
As usual thanks for all the reviews, favourites and follows
Chapter 5 – Summertime Visits & Facilitation
Hermione waved to her parents as they drove away. Closing the door, she leant against it, forehead to the small pane of frosted glass. Her parents finally felt she was responsible enough to spend the whole day and evening alone. They had gone away to a conference and after a bit of negotiation had agreed that she did not need a babysitter. The next door neighbour, Mrs Hawkins, had been advised and would be on hand if Hermione needed anything. She suspected she would also get a 'visit' to borrow some sugar, or some such excuse, but still, she had the house to herself. Well, her and Crookshanks.
She looked at her watch, first things first – food shopping. She planned to make a cake for her parents, for when they got back. Grabbing her keys, jacket and purse she went to catch the bus to the local supermarket.
It was nearing lunchtime when she started walking home from the bus stop. Her hands full with bags. The cake had turned into a meal. She was going to make lasagne for dinner the following night. Preoccupied with running over the ingredients and method in her mind, hoping she had forgotten nothing, she was surprised when an hand reached out and attempted to take some of the shopping bags from her.
She turned, expecting one of the neighbours. "Remus?" she questioned. He had obviously made some effort to fit in, and was dressed in jeans and casual shirt, but what drew her attention first, was his face. He was visibly upset, it almost looked like he had been crying.
"Hello, Hermione," he said, his attempt at a smile seeming more of a grimace. "Got time for a stray?" he said, taking a couple of the bags from her.
"Of course," she replied. She looked around cautiously, "No one is...dead?" she hesitatingly whispered. She really hoped it was not that, but he was upset and now that You-Know-Who had returned it was a possibility. Her heart froze at that thought.
"No," he struggled to reply. He understood what Hermione was implying, and tried to reassure her, "not that, no one is injured. It is just Severus and I.."
Hermione reached out and squeezed his hand. Sensing he was uncomfortable she smiled gently. "Come on, my parents aren't a home. Let's get a cup of tea and we can talk more there."
Severus apparated outside of Grimmauld Place. Fate was trying to take Remus from him, but Severus was determined to fight to keep hold of him. "It was just a misunderstanding."
Severus had finally managed to get away for a couple of days. During which he and Remus had eaten, slept, relaxed and made love. Then this morning it had all gone to hell. Remus had broached the subject of telling others about their relationship. Severus had immediately gone on the defensive. He did not want others to know, but before he could explain his reasons, Remus had left; left accusing Severus of being ashamed of their relationship, of him.
Severus had returned to Spinners End first. He was not surprised that he had lost Remus. "Good things don't happen to bad people," he thought sadly, cradling his head in his hands.
Suddenly he was angry. How could Remus not listen to him, "he says he loves me, but obviously doesn't trust me, doesn't believe I love him in return." Severus had his reasons and he would find Remus and tell him exactly what they were.
As suddenly as it arrived, the anger passed. He realised that, had their positions been reversed, he would have been angry and upset if Remus had said he did not want the world to know of them. He would find him, win him back and explain his thoughts. Then they would decide together what they would do.
It had seemed so easy at Spinners End, but in front of Grimmauld Place it was different. What if Remus had indeed gone there and told Black what had happened. What if he walked in and found his lover being consoled by Black, berating him for getting involved with Snivellus in the first place, saying it was bound to happen.
Severus took a deep breath. Remus was not vindictive, certainly not as much as he himself was. Surely he would not have run straight to Black? Severus stared at the door a bit longer, wishing he could see inside, "Dare I chance it?" He desperately wanted to talk it over with someone, and there was only one other person who knew, who he could go to – Hermione Granger.
Hermione had put away her shopping and made mugs of tea for both herself and Remus. When she came back through to the living room, he was staring blankly at the wall. It was only when he began to speak that she realised he knew she was there. "He is ashamed of me," he stated. He took the mug from Hermione's hand and took a sip. She noticed that his grip was tight, his knuckles almost white. "He sat there and said he didn't want anyone else to know about us." He could feel the tears begin to swell at his eyes. Remus had left his home, not knowing where to go. He had apparated to outside of Grimmauld Place first, but could not go in. As angry with Severus as he was, he would not break the confidence, he could not tell Sirius what had happened. No, there was only one place he could go to, one person he could talk to. So he was here, sitting in the home of Hermione Granger, drinking tea, and trying not to cry.
Hermione was shocked. Of course she had not spent much time with Remus and Severus as a couple, but they had seemed very happy and content. Yes, Severus acted like a complete bastard in public, but he was a lot...softer when it had been the three of them. "Remus," she said gently, reaching out and stroking his hands until they began to relax, "did he actually say he was ashamed of you?"
"No, not in so many words, but why else would he say he didn't want anyone else to know. Just because I am a werewolf," he spat out, like it was a dirty word.
"Remus, I'm not trying to take sides here, but," she paused, wondering if this was the correct thing to say, "but perhaps, maybe, he had another reason? When I see you together it is like he is a different man." When Remus did not react she continued on, "After the ball, after you left he told me that if what he feared came to pass he may have to be even crueller to me. I don't know the details, but it sounds like he is involved in the fight against You-Know-Who. Maybe he's trying to protect you?"
"Idiot," Remus muttered to himself, "You didn't even give him a chance to explain". He leant forward to put his mug onto the table. "You may be right," he said out loud, "But I've been fighting for as long, if not longer than he has. He can not make the decision for us." He turned to look at her, "Thank you, Hermione, you've given me hope. I suppose I should return home, and see if he..." he was interrupted by the doorbell. "Are you expecting anyone?" Remus said, suddenly alert.
Hermione shook her head, "Not really, but I suspect my parents asked the neighbour to look on me whilst they are away". She stood up, "Wait here, I won't be long," she said, moving towards the front door.
Hermione Granger was a target. At the moment there was not a high chance that the Dark Lord would go after her, but it was still possible. Dumbledore had ensured that all the active Order members, including Severus, knew where she lived, in case aid was required. Though as far as he could tell, there were no additional measures. With a heavy heart he realised that Dumbledore was counting on Severus being informed of an attack, and being able to report before it occurred.
He apparated to a nearby wooded area and transfigured his clothing to something more muggle appropriate. With long strides he made his way to the front door and rang the bell. As he waited he was sure that he felt eyes on him, and surreptitiously tried to reason out where they were. He concluded it was one of the neighbours, as he saw the window net twitch in the house next door. Before he could do more, the door in front of him opened. Dressed in blue jeans and a fitted green top stood Hermione.
"Miss Gran... Hermione, I need your advice", he said brusquely, "May I come in?"
Hermione, tried to hide her smile as she opened the door. She was not sure if she was surprised by her visitor, or if it truly was not unexpected. However his words were. He was not looking for Remus, though she would bet her last Galleon that was what he wanted to speak to her about. No, Severus Snape was looking for her, had come to seek her advice.
She lay a hand on Severus' arm, guiding him through the front door and then closing it behind him. "Just be honest, Severus," she said, leading him to the living room. He looked at her, surprised until he saw who was seated on the couch. "I'll make some tea," she said, picking up the still warm mugs that she and Remus had drunk from earlier, and going to the kitchen.
Severus walked over to sit beside Remus, "I'm sorry," he apologised. "I hope you will let me explain, I did not intend to upset you." His hand reached out and hovered over Remus' arm.
"Were you trying to protect me?" Remus demanded, ignoring the outstretched hand for the moment. "Did you think that by not letting anyone else know about us that I would be spared from getting involved in this war," he spat out.
Severus could not help it, he began to laugh. He grabbed Remus' hand as the light-haired man began to pull away, obviously insulted by Severus' reaction. "Please, Remus," he pleaded, "listen to what I have to say. I should not have laughed, but I wish my reasons were so noble. It is purely selfish." He looked down at their entwined hands, "Remus, I am scared. Scared that if we tell anyone else of this they will persuade us that for the 'Greater Good' we can not be together". He dared to look up into the blue eyes of his lover, "I love you, Remus, I could not bear the thought that we would be parted. I know that I can not stop you from getting involved, but I just want something that is mine, only mine. What I am being asked to do," he swallowed and looked away again, not sure he wanted to see the pity he felt his next words would rise in his lover, "it is...difficult. The time I get to spend with you, is nearly the only time I feel like I am me now. I just don't want to spoil that. I know it is selfi..."
Remus was angry at himself. "How could I doubt him?" He interrupted Severus' speech with a kiss. "I should have known he had a reason". "I love you too, Severus. I'm sorry I left. I just thought you were ashamed, that is why you didn't want anyone to know about us. I'm not sure I agree that we would be asked to part, but then I don't know exactly what Dumbledore asks of you. If there is even a chance that he would say we can not be together, then we will not tell him. If you need me to be your anchor, to be yourself and only yours, then be selfish." He found himself kneeling in front of Severus, his hands in his.
"I don't deserve you, Remus," the dark-haired man said, "but I intend to keep you." Drawing himself and Remus to their feet he kissed him fiercely. "Perhaps we should allow Hermione to get on with her day," he suggested, a naughty smile on his face.
"Perhaps," Remus replied, a knowing smirk on his. "Let us just make our goodby..."
The doorbell rang again. Severus raised an eyebrow, "My, she is popular today" he said as he heard Hermione moving towards the door.
"Oh God," they heard her cry suddenly, "What's happened?" Without a thought the two men made their way to the hallway, their movements in perfect synchronisation.
Hermione opened the door, sure that this time it would be Mrs Hawkins to check on her. It was, but accompanying her were a policeman and policewoman.
She was suddenly aware of Remus and Severus standing either side of her. "My parents?" she asked fearfully, blindly reaching back. Both hands were taken.