"I'm sorry Morvoren; I don't think I can keep this up any longer." Brangwen slowly stepped back away from her cousin, keeping her axes up in guard position until she was out of Morvoren's reach. Sparring with Morvoren was just too fast paced and energy intensive for her to keep it up for long, especially with the way her cousin would offer criticism and advice during their bouts.
"Very well." Morvoren glanced at her watch as she lowered her sword. "You lasted longer than last month, by five minutes, and your skill level is improving."
"Thanks." Brangwen walked over to join Morvoren when she sat down to take care of her sword. "I still missed a lot of that running critique you give me though, so we need to go over that again." She was expecting Morvoren to ask her what she remembered, the way she normally did, but instead her cousin frowned and put her sword down before reaching to stop Brangwen working on her own weapons.
"Not yet. There's something else I wanted to talk with you about first." From the look on her face this was going to be important, and Brangwen put her swords down so she could pay total attention to her cousin and what she wanted.
"Go ahead then." If it was something she could do, something she could give, then Brangwen would give it, and gladly. Morvoren had been so good to her, teaching her when she'd grown beyond what her parents could offer, and she'd let Brangwen down kindly when she'd gotten that crush on her three years ago.
"There are a lot more men than women in Cloud's personal guard, I'm not sure why that is, if earlier captains were biased against women, or if it was just that more men applied, and so more of them got through, but it's how things ended up." Morvoren paused and Brangwen nodded, acknowledging her words, even though she wasn't sure how it was relevant. "Captain Aaran is very keen on the idea of Cloud having more female guards, to counteract that human gender roles crap Isis and his mother seem to buy into, and since Morgan's recruiting for Sephiroth's bodyguards there's going to be three openings in just under a year."
"Human gender roles?" Brangwen couldn't see what those had to do with the number of women in the Planet's Weapon's guard, or why Morvoren was telling her this.
"You know how sometimes human men are surprised when they contract with the family for a warrior caste guard and you're the one who turns up?" Brangwen nodded, Morvoren had told her not to let it bother her when she'd brought it up after a sparring session just over 18 months ago, and now she sometimes got clients specifically requesting her. "They reacted that way because it's pretty rare for human women to know how to fight, even now."
"I can see that, I guess. I mean, there's more of a difference in strength levels and all that between the sexes in humans than there is for us." Morvoren looked surprised by her reaction, not that Brangwen could see why. "What?"
"I hadn't considered it that way. Do you really think strength is the most important thing in learning how to fight?"
"Of course not, but...it takes more work to learn how to fight and stay in shape for fighting if you aren't naturally strong and if you have to learn a style that is based on speed or precision." Brangwen shrugged as she spoke. "It's the same thing as healer caste who learn to fight using a different style to us, even if they learn as children. We focus more on power, and on the advantages our activation ritual will give us, even before we go through it, they tend to learn more deflection, and focus on precision and how to use an opponent's strength against them."
"Hmmm. I'm not entirely convinced, and I'm pretty sure there's a flaw in your argument somewhere, but that doesn't really matter. What does matter is that I want you to apply for one of the three positions in Cloud's guard that will be coming open in a year."
"Morvoren..." Brangwen bit her lip, trying to work out how to put it and deciding to be blunt. "I'm not good enough for that." She looked away from her cousin in shame, wishing that she was a better fighter, with the sort of stamina and skills Morvoren had.
"Brangwen, look at me." Morvoren rested her hand on Brangwen's near shoulder, leaving it in place until she obeyed, turning back to her cousin and leaning into the hand she raised to rest on Brangwen's right cheek. "No, you aren't up to the standards of Cloud's personal guard, not yet. You aren't even up to the standard of the recruits to his personal guard." That hurt, it was true, and Brangwen knew it, but still, she'd hoped her cousin would tell her she was underestimating herself. Other than Morvoren she was one of the best fighters in the family, certainly the best who still contracted through the family, but she knew she was almost stalled in her progress because she usually sparred against the others who contracted through the family.
"Then why ask me to apply?" Her voice was harsh, almost angry, but that was better than letting her pain show.
"Because I think you've got the potential to reach the same level as Cloud's guard, and if you work at it, you will be good enough to be accepted by the time those openings are available."
"You do?" The hope she felt at that was almost painful - it wasn't so much about the idea of being accepted into the Planet's Weapon's personal guard, despite the honour that would be for her, as about the fact that her cousin had such confidence in her abilities. "Just tell me what I'll have to do then. I train for at least an hour every day, longer if I have time. Should I do more training? Or should I train differently?"
"You probably need to train differently. I can't really teach you new moves, not the best options, because you use two axes, each of them lighter than my sword. All I can do is correct the things that stay the same whatever weapon you use, or point out openings in your defences. And I don't know exactly how you train, but I doubt you're sparring against anyone better than you, except for these monthly spars with me."
"No, I'm not." It hadn't mattered so much three years ago, even if her lessons with Morvoren had been limited, before her activation ritual she'd always been able to spar against someone stronger and faster than her, even if they weren't as skilled, but now..."There aren't that many people willing to spar with me at all, not among the family."
"I see." Morvoren let go of Brangwen and twisted to pull something from her pack. "Then I have three suggestions. First, I've found you a teacher for your style, or at least your preferred weapons mix and I've booked your first lesson with him. It's the day after tomorrow, in the morning, and here's the details." She handed the small folder from her back over to Brangwen with a smile. "I paid for the first lesson, but you'll need to pay for the rest, and I'd recommend at least one lesson every two weeks, ideally each lesson at least two hours long." She could probably afford that, depending on how much he charged. "Second, you should find a younger cousin, someone who's just starting to learn how to fight, and offer to teach her the basics. That will force you to look at them again yourself, and refine your own skills, which will have an effect on everything you've learned since then." Brangwen nodded, Ian, her nephew, was just ready to start learning to fight - but he was human, so his father wasn't likely to arrange anything.
"My brother's son, Ian, he's human and just old enough to start learning how to fight, would offering to teach him be a good idea for my development?"
"I can't see what difference that makes at that age, yes, he'd be fine." Morvoren sounded impatient, and just a bit annoyed. "But stick with it; give him at least three hours a week. The third thing is to use the registry halls, and train there as well as with our family, find someone who's on your level, or preferably a bit higher when you're sparring there."
"I should have thought of that myself." Brangwen knew she was blushing from the heat in her cheeks - that was a resource available to everyone who'd registered as a qualified guard, of whatever level, but none of the family had ever used it to her knowledge, so it had slipped her mind.
"Yes, you should have." But mercifully Morvoren left it at that. "Now, do you want me to go over the problems I caught during our spar?"
"Yes, please." Brangwen followed Morvoren's example by picking up her axes again and working on them as she told her cousin what she remembered from her commentary.