I couldn't stop. I had to keep running. I quickly made my way through all of the rooms into my own bedroom. My feet wouldn't stop moving and my mind wouldn't think rationally. I need to stop. There's no point in continuing to run. They can't find me in here. And I'm going to kill myself tonight anyways so why should I run. What's wrong with me?

The answer wouldn't come to me. Even as I hurled myself onto my bed and hurried under the covers to hide in a little ball, the answer hid from me. I would die tonight and the only thing that I was doing on my last day was running. I couldn't read a good book or answer the questions about myself. Remembering the book in my pocket I moved my hand down to find it only to discover that it wasn't there. I must have dropped it when I was running. I looked at the clock sadly to find that it was time for detention with Professor Snape.

Should I go to detention or find something else to do until midnight? Well, if I don't go to detention then Professor Snape will go looking for me and most likely get in the way of my plans. I also need to get rid of his suspicion quickly or else something troublesome could come from it. With that decision in mind I made my way down to Professor Snape's classroom. I used four different secret passages to get to the classroom so that I wouldn't be late.

Upon getting to the door of the classroom I knocked gently on the door. Instead of the usual Professor Snape's usual booming voice giving permission for entrance, the door swung open. Professor Snape stood in the doorway and upon him seeing me, worry flashed across his face. I gave him a blank look that seemed to make him even more concerned. Professor Snape stepped out of the doorway to let me enter the room. I entered the room gracefully and moved forward to the desk that had all of the ingredients out already. I heard the door close as I walked to the desk and as I started to make the potion I blocked out all noises.

It was shocking that Professor Snape said nothing to me but a few minutes later I felt a presence behind me. A hand reached around my body and took a firm but gentle hold of my right hand and slowly demonstrated how I should be cutting the rosemary. I was confused by my comprehension of what was being shown to me and slowly started to slump forward in disbelief. Another hand moved around my body and came to rest right under my sternum and pulled me back into a lean, muscular, and warm body. I was so lost that my mind leaned back to rest on the warm shoulder behind me as I lost myself to a dream-like haze.

The hand beneath my sternum slowly traveled down and across my body until it rested on my right hip and the arm attached to the hand rested gently across my stomach. My right hand relaxed as I fell into a world of only feeling and sensations. The hand that was holding my right hand took the knife away and was gone for a few seconds before it came to rest on my left shoulder, the arm attached to it resting across my chest. My eyes drifted closed in wonder and I blocked out the little voice in the back of my head telling me that this was wrong and that I shouldn't let this happen. Time seemed to stop or slow, it really didn't matter to me anymore because it was just something that slipped away or slowed down between each touch.

I felt the soft movement of hair on my shoulder right before a nose moved across my neck. The gentle sensation of an intake of air left a tingling sensation on my skin and a ringing in my ears. The breath that was released increased the tingling on my skin. The breathing continued and left my skin in goose bumps all over. Soon the nose gently ran down my neck to the collar of my button-up shirt. The lips that were attached to the face and nose touched my neck and started to suck on my skin. The sucking continued as a tongue danced across the skin. The hand that had been resting on my left shoulder pushed my cloak off of my shoulders slowly and moved to the tie around my neck.

My head moved to the right as the tongue and mouth continued to send sparks through my body on the left side of my neck. My tie hung loosely from my neck and the buttons started to slowly come undone, one by one. My shirt hung loosely from my shoulders like my tie and exposed my torso to the air of the dungeon. The hand came up and slid my shirt off of my left shoulder so that the shirt hung from my right shoulder and the mouth moved onto my left shoulder, right beside my bra strap. Instead of sucking on my flesh the mouth licked at my skin and dance across it as open mouth kisses were bestowed upon my body.

The sensation of the kisses was so overwhelming that I almost didn't notice the hand that was slowly and carefully pulling down my arm warmers. At the feel of pulling on my arm warmers, my eyes snapped open and thoughts crashed down on me. I quickly cast a wordless and wandless spell to knock out the person behind me. The strong and warm body fell away from me and the sound of it hitting the ground rung through me as I stood there feeling so many things that I couldn't put a name to any of it. I turned my head to the side and looked down at the face that had done magic to my body. Professor Snape's body laid sprawled out in front of me.

So many things ran through my mind. He made me forget everything…What does he feel toward me…? His kisses were so amazing…He almost discovered my secret…He made me want to live… The last thought broke through all of my thoughts and scared me. I have to run. I have to kill myself. I can't let him convince me to live through and with this pain for some meaningless thing when he will no doubt hurt me as well. I can't live with this pain anymore. So it's time to die.

I don't know exactly what came over me and made me do this, but I kneeled down and kissed Professor Snape's forehead and then his mouth in farewell. I didn't stop to think about what I had done. I grabbed my cloak from the ground and wrapped it around my body without bothering to fix my shirt and tie. I moved swiftly out of the classroom and to the secret passage at the end of the hallway that led out onto the grounds. Once I was in the passage I ran as fast as I could. The cold dark hallways flew by me and the passage quickly came to an end. I slid out of the doorway at the end of passage and snuck across the grounds to the Quidditch field.

I oozed into the North entrance to the Quidditch field and ran up the stairs as far as I could. At the top of the stairs I entered the box that held the Headmaster when he watched Quidditch games. I moved to the end of the box and looked down at the ground below. The ground was at least 200 feet below me. I stepped up onto the railing of the box and looked out all around me. The full moon hung from the sky shining brightly, the castle looked cold and bare, the Forbidden forest shone with it's mysterious and dangerous darkness, and the lake looked beautiful and peaceful while the moon's light bounced off of its surface.

I took a deep breath of air and pushed off of the railing. I felt like a diver that was rushing towards water. I felt the air whooshing past me and the freedom that I had always longed for embraced me and kept me safe. I twirled in the air and flung my arms out in complete joy. This was a freedom that I had always wanted, a freedom that would have never come to me before. I saw the ground 20 feet away and couldn't wait to meet it and forever have this freedom. The ground rose quickly to meet me as if it couldn't wait to give freedom to me. Right before me and the ground met in a wonderful embrace my life flashed before my eyes.

'I ran down the hallway giggling happily as I clutched my teddy bear to my chest. Out of nowhere a baseball bat swung out and hit me right in the stomach. My four- year old body folded over and crumpled to the ground as a bigger and stronger body descended on me…'

'I was dreaming of bunnies in a field of grass when I felt something being torn from my body. Slowly opening my eyes I saw my father above me while I lay on the bed. I smiled naively up at my dad, not realizing that he was naked and had torn the clothes from my body. I spread my legs out to make it easier to sit up. I started to sit up when pain ripped through my lower body. I screamed and thrashed out through the pain as my little 6-year old pigtails bounced to the rhythm of my pain…'

'I was sitting in the back of my dance class when I heard Concrete Angel playing. My ten-year old mind couldn't help but feel like the woman was singing about me...'

'In the darkness of my bedroom I looked down at a letter that invited me to Hogwarts. I heard the sound of footsteps outside of my door and quickly hid the letter under my mattress. My eleven-year old head turned to the door as my father moved into the room with a gleaming knife in his hand…'

'My thirteen-year old body felt sick. It was really weird how I threw up in the morning but then I was okay for the rest of the day. It had been going on for at least a month now and I had finally figured out that it was because I was pregnant. With whose child I didn't know. It could have been my father's, brother's, or my brother's friends' child. I used a spell that I had created and cut away the life of the baby and pulled the dying body out of me to let it land in the toilet. I flushed the body and cut my left wrist. A cut for every baby that I killed…'

'I looked down at the quiz again. I had gotten a problem wrong and in the safety of my room I cut my right arm. A cut for every mistake…'

'My fifteen-year old body swung around and came back into the arms of Victor Krum. As the dance continued, I saw a figure in the back corner. Professor Snape looked up at me. My heart speed up and filled with the painful sensation of love…'

'Fingers danced lightly across my seventeen-year old face. I looked up into the dark eyes of Professor Snape. Pity danced in the eyes. Something else that I hadn't noticed before also was in his eyes. It was concern, pain, and love…'

Tears ran from my eyes and the beauty of meeting the ground for freedom became a curse that would forever torment me. Pain exploded through my body and I died wishing that that the man that I had loved and just found loved me back would forgive me of my sin.