She hated walking. Miles upon miles, city after city, town after town, county after county. Same old story. It didn't matter where they went, where they ended up, humanity was losing the fight. Hope was lost with every mile that passed.
She'd lost track of the days, but she guessed it'd been at least a week. Every day blurring into the next, every thought, every emotion, it all felt miles away even though it was deep inside of her all along.
There was no set destination in mind, just survival, and Faith had no idea what small, nowhere town they were camped out in now. Almost every building and almost every house, burnt to the ground and those left standing was rarely inhabitable as the last. Food and water had been scarce for months, but that's not what her mind kept reeling back to in the end.
It was Buffy. Always Buffy. From that first kiss to the moment at Dawn's grave before they fled, a horde of infected suddenly infuriating the warehouse and giving them no other choice. It was that kiss she held on to. The kiss born of grief that sparked a shred of hope. But, it was more than that. Always more.
Flight or fight.
Her hands were shaking, not from fear, but from hunger, dehydration, and yet she still pulled out that metal box she kept her cigarettes in—cigarettes she never ran out of since ever town, every city, there was always a carton or two left behind. Sometimes more, if she was lucky.
Then again, it was never about luck.
Luck was finding enough food for more than a few days. Luck was finding water that wouldn't make them sick. Luck was finding shelter where they could sleep for more than an hour at a time, to feel safe, to be able to relax. To sleep without fear of being attacked. To have that single moment to fantasize of the world that once was.
There was no such thing as hope or luck anymore.
In whatever nowhere town they were, a heatwave had struck and the humidity clung to the air heavily. Breathing felt like drowning. There had been no patrols, no scavenger missions, just the six of them holed up in a partially burnt down church in the Middle of Nowhere, USA with whatever scraping supplies they'd managed to ration. Nobody had spoken a word in over a day, but that was normal. It'd become normal since the day they buried Dawn, hundreds of miles behind them.
The sound of the first crack of thunder gave Faith hope, the first shred of hope in what felt like a lifetime. Thunder meant rain, rain meant water, water meant they'd buy themselves a handful more days if they were lucky. She was the first to crawl out of her makeshift bed and make her way to the roof of the partially burnt out church. The view wasn't spectacular, but the lightning strikes were. They reminded her that underneath it all, the universe was powerful and beautiful and dangerous all on its own.
Powerful enough that if they could somehow survive, maybe there was hope after all.
Thunder rumbled, shaking the building, parts of it crashing down, no longer structurally sound, the sound of wood and bricks and plaster breaking apart and crumbling sounding louder than ever. Faith moved from basin to basin, making sure the tarps would hold the water they'd need to survive, water from the rain that would come from the storm.
"Faith?"
She turned around at the sound of Buffy's voice and she managed a small smile before she checked the last makeshift basin they'd set up on the roof. Once she was satisfied each basin was secure and would withstand the violent, oncoming storm, she turned to look at Buffy again, her smile faltering as Buffy hugged herself and leaned up against the wall by the stairwell door.
"There something you wanted, B?" Faith asked as she pulled out her red banana out of her back pocket and wiped at the sweat that gathered along her forehead. Buffy didn't say a word and Faith shrugged as she walked over to the small little shelter she'd built for herself, mostly to protect herself from the hot sun on the days she wanted a small escape from the others. With that first crack of thunder, she'd planned to sit up on the rooftop of the old church and watch the storm alone. "Stay if ya wanna," she said after she settled down on the blankets she'd brought up to provide some comfort on the flat gravel roof.
Buffy didn't move from where she stood and instead she turned her focus to the dark clouds rolling in overhead. Faith settled in her little makeshift shelter and lit a cigarette, her eyes wandering over to Buffy, her head filling with impure thoughts, of fantasies she only allowed herself on the loneliest of nights. It was the kiss that sparked them after years of suppressing them. It was the kiss that made her feel again. It was the kiss that haunted her and in those loneliest of moments, she could feel the ghost of Buffy's lips against her own, reminding her of the hope it'd sparked inside of her.
Big, fat raindrops began to fall from the sky and Faith smiled faintly as she closed her eyes and listened to the welcome sound of the rain falling from the dark, angry looking clouds in the sky overhead. She barely cracked open her eyes as she felt Buffy crawl into her little makeshift shelter and sit down next to her.
"I almost want to strip naked and run out into the rain," Buffy whispered and it made Faith open her eyes and laugh. "I'm serious."
"Go for it, B."
"And risk getting struck by lightning? No thank you."
"That all that's stopping ya? Lightning?" Faith chuckled and she held out her cigarette towards her, knowing she'd take it. It was something that had changed with Buffy after Dawn died. She'd started to find Faith when she was off somewhere alone and would either share a cigarette or bum one off of her. "If it'll make ya feel any better, I'll strip down with ya and we can dance in the rain like a couple of idiots, yeah?"
It made Buffy laugh, the first real, genuine laugh Faith had heard out of her in a good long while. Buffy took a quick drag off her cigarette before handing in back to her. Faith stared at her for a moment, before several strikes of lightning crackled through the air, pulling her undivided attention back to the storm raging overhead.
The heat and humidity still clung heavily in the air despite the rain and Faith was beginning to take Buffy's idea of stripping naked to run out into the rain seriously. It'd be a way to cool down and wash the dirt, the grime, the sweat and the blood from her body, to feel almost clean again. She took one last drag of her cigarette before flicking it out into the rain, watching as it hit the gravel on the roof, the embers glowing brightly before the downpour made it sizzle out and die, the last of the smoke washed away by the force of the rain as it fell hard and fast from the sky.
"Screw it," Faith said as she reached for the laces on her boots and pulled the knots free. "I'm gonna take my chances. I mean, what is it, one in a million I could be struck by lightning, right?"
"Faith, you can't be serious."
"Weren't you or were you just bluffing, B?" Faith chuckled as she kicked off her boots and pulled off her socks before she pulled off her t-shirt and shimmied out of her shorts. "You coming or what?"
Faith winked at her as she crawled out of her makeshift shelter and stood up, the rain soaking her skin, cooling her. She contemplated ridding herself of her bra and her panties, and she would've if she were up there alone and feeling as crazy and spontaneous as she was in that moment. She tilted her face up towards the sky and closed her eyes as she ran her fingers through her hair.
She blinked through the downpour and looked over at Buffy still huddled in her little makeshift shelter, her fingers idly pulling at the laces of her shoes as her eyes locked with Faith's in an intense gaze. Faith beckoned her with a single finger, laughing as Buffy kicked off her shoes and quickly tried to strip out of her clothes while keeping eye contact with her. She blushed once her clothes were off and she sat inside the makeshift shelter in only a pair of panties, her arms crossed over her chest, covering her naked breasts. Faith walked towards her and held out a hand.
"Come on, B," she whispered, her voice barely heard over the roar of the pouring rain. "It feels fucking fantastic!"
"Faith…"
Faith rolled her eyes as she reached around to her back and snapped open the clasp on her bra and shrugged it off, haphazardly tossing it on top of the rest of her clothes. "We're even. Now come on, no need to go being all shy and shit."
She held her hand back out towards Buffy and after a few antagonizing seconds, she reached out and took Faith's hand and allowed herself to be pulled up and out into the rain. She threw her head back as she spread her arms, her hand still holding on to Buffy's as she enjoyed the feel of the cool rain drops on her mostly naked body. She and to repress the urge to let out a scream—mostly because it wasn't a smart thing to do when the town, as quiet as it had been for a few days, was still occupied by hundreds of rabid, blood-thirsty zombies.
The rain started to come down heavier and for the first time in almost a week, Faith finally felt the satisfying feeling of feeling somewhat clean again. She let go of Buffy's hand and walked over to the closest basin that was quickly filling up with rainwater and without thinking twice about it, she stripped out of her panties, tossing them behind her and she climbed into the basin. There were six of them. More than enough to give them enough water for a week, what did it matter if she used one to have a nice cold, refreshing and much needed bath?
She looked over at Buffy who was looking at her like she'd lost her mind. Maybe she had. Maybe she was just taking this moment and living in it. She grinned as she beckoned Buffy to come join her and after a few moments, Buffy let out a huff and walked across the gravel roof slowly, pausing just a few feet from the basin to strip free of her panties before she climbed in to join her.
"It's freezing!"
"No," Faith chuckled as she splashed a handful of water at Buffy. "It's refreshing, B!"
"You do realize we're sitting naked inside a tarp filled with rain water, right?"
"Are we?" Faith grinned as she ran her hands over her thighs that were mostly submerged under the water. She shifted carefully until she was laying down, the basin just big enough she could stretch out and feel the cold water absolutely everywhere all at once. "God, this feels so good."
"Kind of brings a whole new meaning to the term skinny dipping," Buffy murmured as she moved to lay down next to her, their arms and legs touching as the basin was long but narrow. "Maybe we should find a place near some water, like a lake or a river or something?"
"Water'll likely be contaminated or something."
"Ugh," Buffy groaned quietly. "Let's just forget about that for one second and think about how good it'd be. We could just, I don't know, run out, strip, and jump into the water. Just kind of float there in the water and forget the rest of the world for a little while."
"We?" Faith asked as she turned her head to look at Buffy. "You fantasize about stripping naked and going skinny dipping with me, B?"
"Faith…"
"Any other fantasies you have about me that ya wanna share?"
"Stop," Buffy laughed as she reached over to pinch Faith's stomach, her hand stopping short as her palm laid flat across Faith's skin.
Faith's breath hitched in her chest as her eyes met Buffy's in a heated gaze. She placed a hand over Buffy's, keeping her from moving her hand away, loving the feel of her soft touch, and wanting so much more. How long had it been for her? Robin Wood had been the last, the advances of the women in prison turned down every single time and not at all like the first few months after she'd first turned herself in. It'd been years since she'd been with another woman, years since she'd felt that distinctly soft touch only a woman could give her. Her libido was beginning to betray her, but in that moment, in the thundering rain as they lay in a tarp basin quickly filling up with cool rainwater, the only thing she could think about was kissing Buffy again. Covering Buffy's body with her own, hands reaching and touching, pleasing and helping find that release she longed for, the same release she knew Buffy longed for too.
Buffy showed no signs of wanting to pull back, her eyes still locked with her own in the same heated gaze they'd fallen into moments ago. She inhaled deeply, blinking through the raindrops the fell hard against her face as she trailed her fingertips up Buffy's arm slowly.
As a loud crack of thunder rumbled, shaking the old church, it brought reality crashing back down on them in an instant. Buffy was the first to pull away and sit up, water dripping from her hair as she kept her back to Faith for a moment before she stood up and carefully climbed out of the basin. Faith curled her fingers into fists, swearing under her breath before she sat up and followed Buffy back into her little makeshift shelter and out of the cold, hard rain.
She watched as Buffy struggled to pull her clothes on, her wet skin making the material stick to her, causing her to pull and tug and swear as she struggled to dress herself again. Faith sat next to her, knees to her chest, arms holding her legs tight against her naked body and she turned her attention away from Buffy, watching the small pools of water grow bigger on the gravel rooftop.
Faith didn't move until Buffy had left, the sound of the metal rooftop door clanging loudly as it shut behind her finally being the one thing that pulled her out of the trance she'd fallen into. She grabbed at the pile of her clothes, laughing cruelly at how quickly things had turned between them.
And at how stupid she'd been to believe that maybe, just maybe, there could be something more there between them. Something more than that one single kiss that had changed everything between them.
A kiss she wouldn't be quick to forget. Not in this lifetime.
(Six Months Ago…)
Faith groaned as she rubbed at her tender and sore jaw. She'd been knocked out, by Buffy of course, and she was just regaining a sense of consciousness and completely unaware of her immediate surroundings. Normally, if a situation like this were to happen, she'd panic, but she wasn't panicking. She wasn't even on the verge of panicking, not when she was lying on the softest bed she'd laid in for as long as she could remember. Even the smells, the smells were important, it smelt clean, the sheets freshly washed and just faintly she could smell the intoxicating aroma of freshly brewed coffee.
"How are you feeling?"
Angel sat near the bed she laid in, his face covered by the shadows of darkness that filled the room. Faith chuckled dryly as she rubbed over her jaw and sat up on the bed slowly, her eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness of the room and falling upon Angel's face just two feet away from her.
"She's always packed quick a punch, but man, she really clocked me this time, didn't she?"
"If it helps, she said she was sorry for overreacting."
Faith laughed as she rubbed over her jaw again. "Right," she laughed incredulously as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "How long was I out this time? Couple of hours?"
"Twenty-three hours and seventeen minutes, give or take."
"Fuck," Faith groaned and she stood up slowly, letting her body catch up to her state of awareness as she stretched out slowly. "So, what's this place like, Angel? Pretty sure you haven't spent the last twenty-three hours and seventeen minutes sitting here waiting for me to wake up."
"It is safe," Angel replied quietly. "For now."
There was a heavy weight to his words and all she could think about was how she'd lost a whole day, a day Angel likely didn't have left in him and she hated it. She was losing him and she had no idea how long he had left until he turned into one of them. Her dreams were haunted by nightmares of what would happen if she didn't keep her promise, if she didn't kill him before he lost himself to the virus that somehow lived inside his already dead body.
He even looked paler than what was considered normal for him. His eyes had lost that last little bit of spark, those last little signs of life that came from the soul inside of him. He was fighting, holding on, and she knew he was suffering. It killed her a little bit inside because she knew she could and would be the only one that could stop him from his inevitable fate.
How much longer would it be before she plunged a stake through his heart, or used her dagger to cut his head from his body? How much longer did she have with him while he was still who he was, her friend—her only friend?
"I haven't spoken to her yet," Angel whispered as Faith reached for the dagger sheathed inside her boot. She paused, staring at him in the darkness, her breath hitching as she felt the tears stinging in her eyes. "I don't need long," he said as he rose from the chair he was sitting it. "Just long enough to say what needs to be said…"
"Angel…"
"Gonna save the best goodbye for last, Faith."
"Right."
"Stay here?"
"Like hell I'm gonna."
Angel chuckled. "I'll show you to the kitchen. I'm sure you're hungry."
"Starved."
Faith followed Angel out of the small bedroom they were in and into a dark hallway. To the left was a window that was covered with sheets of plywood and to the right, just at the other end of the hallway, there was a small flickering light. Candlelight. Angel led the way down the hallway and every door they passed by was shut. The smell of coffee grew stronger as they entered the large kitchen, lit by dozens of candles all around the room.
Willow was the only one in the kitchen and she was sipping a cup of coffee and reading a book in the candlelight. She looked up at Faith and offered a friendly smile as she placed the book down on the table.
"Hey, Faith."
"Hey," she said with a tight smile. "Bet ya thought you'd never see me again, huh?"
Willow chuckled quietly and Faith turned to look at Angel only to find he'd already slipped away, leaving her there alone with Willow. Faith watched her as she rose from her chair and grabbed a mug out of a cupboard.
"Do you want some coffee?"
"Sure, that'd be great."
"We don't have any milk or anything," Willow said as she poured some coffee into the mug and handed it to Faith. "But we have sugar."
"Black is fine," Faith replied. "Been a long time since I've had coffee."
"I can't promise you that it's decent. Unfortunately, it's only instant. We ran out of the real good stuff last week."
Faith smirked as she lifted the mug to her lips and took a sip. It wasn't bad, it had that instant taste to it, but she'd had worse. "So, you guys been here this whole time or what?"
Willow nodded and she walked back over to the table and sat down. Faith lingered by the counter and sipped her coffee before deciding to sit with Willow at the table. On that long ride from LA to Sunnydale, somewhere along the way they became somewhat almost friends and the long talk they had, it was something that Faith would never forget.
"We were only going to stay for a month, kind of like a vacation right? Thought we all deserved some serious downtime after Sunnydale. Kennedy and I were actually planning to go down to travel all over South America, but as you can see, that never actually happened," Willow frowned. "We were all in town, picking up supplies, when the news came of the outbreak, the virus that was spreading like wildfire. That first month, there was nothing different around here. It was quiet and people were still living their lives like normal, like what was happening in the rest of the country wasn't happening there. That changed a few weeks ago. We've been talking about staying, but eventually we're going to run out of supplies. I don't think we'll make it through the winter here."
Faith stared down at her mug, her hands wrapped around it. It was hard to believe just how little time had passed since the outbreak at the prison and how much different the world was now.
"Angel caught us up on where you two have been, the things you've seen," Willow continued. "I can't believe that you guys actually found us."
"Strength in numbers right?" Faith shrugged. "Had nowhere else to go."
"I know. It's good that you're here, Faith. You're right. There is strength in numbers and with three slayers here now, we have a higher chance of survival. And with Angel—"
"He's infected," Faith whispered as she looked up at Willow. "He was bitten a few days ago. I—I don't know how much time he has left, but it's not much. Bet he didn't tell you that, did he?"
"No, he didn't."
"Don't worry though, Willow, I'll take care of it when it comes down to it."
"T—take care of it? You mean kill him before he becomes one of them?"
Faith nodded and let out a dry laugh. "Yeah, that's the plan. Ain't gotta like it either, I don't, but I'll do anything it takes to survive."
"Won't we all."
"That why Buffy clocked me last night, huh?" Faith smirked and Willow laughed quietly. "Never gets old with her, does it? A simple hello followed by a killer right hook to the jaw."
"She overreacted."
"Angel said," Faith replied. "It's all good. I'm five by five now, as you can see, aside from this wicked bruise," she said as she pointed to the dark, angry purple bruise on her cheek and jaw.
They grew quiet, both lost in their own thoughts as they sipped their instant coffee that smelled a lot better than it tasted. Faith ignored the rumble in her stomach and the hunger pangs that never seemed to go away anymore. Faith finished up her coffee and nodded at Willow before she got up and left the kitchen. Across the hallway was a living room, it too was lit by dozens of candles around the room, but the room was empty and quiet. She explored the main floor of the cabin, finding most of the doors locked. She looked for Angel, but couldn't find him anywhere and it was likely he was in a room somewhere with Buffy with the door locked to allow them some privacy while they talked.
Faith found a jacket hanging by one of the doors that lead outside and after she found her way back to the room she'd woken up in, she grabbed her cigarettes and found her dagger that was normally sheathed inside her book sitting on the bedside table. She grabbed it, slid it inside her boot and headed outside for a much needed cigarette. It was cold, but not nearly as cold as it had been the night before and the sky was clear, hundreds of thousands of stars twinkling brightly overhead.
"So, you're awake," Kennedy said, her boots crunching in the snow as she walked up to the stoop Faith was standing on. "Wasn't sure if she put you in another coma or something."
Faith sighed as she pulled the jacket around her and shivered. "Is it always this cold up here?"
"We're on a mountain and it's the end of October. Yeah, it's always this cold up here this time of year," Kennedy replied and she placed her longbow down on the stoop and leaned it up against the wall. "Bet you're wondering where everyone is, huh?"
"Not particularly."
Kennedy laughed quietly and shoved her hands into her parka pockets. "Maybe tomorrow I'll take you out, show you around the place. We'll check the traps and the alarms, make sure they're still working."
"Sounds good."
For the rest of the night and the next couple of days, Faith kept mostly to herself and the only other person other than Angel she spent any time with, was Kennedy. During the day, she helped her check the traps that were set up, mostly bear traps that got set off by small animals. At night she hung out in the kitchen with Willow, sometimes Giles was there, sometimes Xander too. She rarely saw Dawn and Buffy, the two of them mostly keeping to themselves. She quickly learned it had been that way for months and nobody could tell her why Buffy and Dawn had become so reclusive.
Not one of them knew that Angel was infected, not one of them, and Angel had made her promise not to say a word to anyone. She didn't understand why at first, but she knew after a few days of being there, why he didn't want the others to know. She'd been there first hand to see that none of them that patrolled the property hesitated to kill at first sight of an infected coming anywhere near them. Hell, if Kennedy hadn't missed, Angel would've already been dead and she might've been too.
Faith was sure it was a Saturday when she woke up that day with a heavy feeling in her heart. Somehow she knew, deep down, that Angel's time was up. She'd heard him all throughout the night, groaning and gasping in the room next to hers, but not once did she go to him, the tears rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably until she finally managed to fall asleep. It was the hum of the generator whirring outside the woke her early that morning and after she got dressed and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail, she found the others gathered in the kitchen, Dawn and Willow at the stove making pancakes for breakfast with the last of the mix they had.
It was the first time since she and Angel got there that everyone was in the same room together and she had expected to hear lively chatter, maybe even laughter despite it all, but it was quiet and the only sound was the sound of the pancakes cooking on the frying pan.
"Morning," Kennedy nodded as Faith grabbed the still hot kettle and made herself a cup of instant coffee.
"Anything out there last night?"
"Nothing," Kennedy replied. "We were uh, just talking about you maybe taking a shift patrolling tonight."
"Sure, just point me in the direction you need me."
They all heard the loud crash and Faith was the first one running down the hallway to Angel's room. She kicked open the door and found him in the middle of the room, lying on the floor, his body convulsing as he gripped at the rug underneath him. Blood trickled from the corners of his mouth and as he lifted his head to look up at her, a mix of pain and fear reflected in his bloodshot eyes.
Faith rushed to his side and fell to her knees as she reached out for him. He was burning, the fever gripping him tightly, burning him from the inside out. Faith sat back on her haunches as her hand trembled as she gripped on to his shoulder tightly. He reached out and grabbed on to her arm that touched him and he groaned weakly as his head lolled to the side, his eyes rolling back, the blood pouring from the corners of his mouth and dripping down onto the old, musty smelling rug beneath them.
"Angel?" The sounds of footsteps approaching the room got closer and she gave his shoulder a squeeze as he struggled to look up at her. "Angel…hey," she said as she cocked her head to the side and caught his gaze with her own.
"It's…time," he shuddered and she nodded as she swallowed the hard lump in her throat. "I can feel it."
"Shit," she groaned as she forced the tears not to fall. She looked back as the footsteps stopped and only Buffy entered the room. She looked down at the two of them in alarm and it was Giles who grabbed her before she could lunge towards them, or more specifically Angel.
"What's wrong with him?" Buffy asked, shaking as she struggled against Giles' tight hold. "Faith? What is wrong with him?"
"He's infected," Giles answered and he let her go.
"What?" Buffy shouted. "He's infected? Faith?" She glared over at her, but Faith just sighed and turned her attention back to Angel. "Why didn't you tell us?"
Angel choked, tears rolling down his cheeks as Faith pulled out her red bandana and dabbed them away. She inhaled slowly and reached for the dagger inside her boot and she just stared at it in her hand, a dry laugh escaping past her lips.
"Think we're gonna need a bigger blade?" She asked him, swallowing hard and he looked down at the dagger with a slight smile curling over his bloody lips. "Or would you rather, uh…you know, the other way?"
"You're going to kill him?" Buffy asked incredulously. "No, no you can't do this, Faith, you can't just—"
"Buffy, shut up," Faith snapped as she pointed the dagger at her, a warning. She looked back at Angel and used the bandana to wipe away some of the blood trailing down the corner of his parted lips. "You don't even have the slightest clue what I promised him, what he made me promise him, so just shut the hell up and let me do this."
Angel groaned loudly as his body started to shake hard again, the convulsions coming in waves as the fever spread through his body. He didn't have much time and Faith wasn't sure how long she'd have left with him, how much longer it'd be before she had to kill him before he turned into one of them, or worse.
"Faith…" Angel whispered and he groaned again before he spit out a mouthful of blood on to the floor. He shivered as he weakly reached up to wipe away at his lips and Faith stopped him. "I…"
Faith waited, barely breathing as she watched Angel struggle to hold on. He moved to try to sit up straighter and she didn't hesitate to help him. He groaned weakly as he blinked his eyes before looking up at her. "Angel, what is it?"
"I'm ready."
Faith nodded, the tears stinging in her eyes, but she still refused to let them fall. She looked down at the dagger in her hand and swallowed hard, the lump in her throat not going away. "You still have a choice," she said gently and he nodded, coughing again, his mouth filling up with blood. "What's it gonna be?"
Angel shook his head, wide eyes glaring at the dagger in her hand. She nodded, understanding without a word having to be said and she sheathed it back inside her boot and turned to look at the others behind her. Buffy was a wreck, tears streaking down her cheeks while Giles tried to console her quietly.
"Someone get me a stake?" Faith asked shakily, her eyes landing on Willow who just quickly nodded and ran out of the room. "Hey, Angel? Look at me," she said as she focused her attention back on him. "I—I just want to say thanks. For everything."
"Don't lose hope," he whispered. "Don't ever lose hope, Faith. Just remember that I love you and believe in you even when you refuse to believe in yourself."
"I won't…"
"Promised you I'd save the best goodbye for last."
"Angel…" Faith lips trembled as he grabbed on to her hands and weakly held them with his own. "I love you too," she whispered and she leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. She let go of his hands and gripped at the back of his neck, kissing him one more in the same spot before she leaned back.
Faith looked over her shoulder as Willow tentatively approached her. She shakily held out a stake, blunt end towards her and Faith clenched her jaw as she gripped it, feeling the slight weight of the smooth wooden stake in her hand. It was happening too quickly, it was all happening too quickly and she was going to lose him, the only one who was ever there for her when she needed someone the most. Her heart was racing as she flexed her fingers around the stake and she slowly lifted her head to look up at him.
"I'm sorry, Angel…"
"Faith, don't do this, please," Buffy cried out, but she tuned her out. "Please, don't kill him…not like this…please…not like this, I'm begging you…"
Faith felt the tears burning in her eyes as she grabbed the front of Angel's shirt, her hand shaking as she positioned the stake, raising her arm and tightening her grip. Angel nodded slowly and mouthed "I love you" as Faith did. Her heart hurt as she closed her eyes and thrust the stake into his chest and she trembled as she felt his shirt crumble to dust in her clenched fist.
It was over.
It was done.
Angel was gone.
Dead.
Dust.
She wiped at her tears with the sleeve of her shirt as she rose to her feet. She stared blankly ahead of her and the sight of Buffy breaking down completely broke her heart all over again. She walked slowly out of the room, dropping the stake to the floor once she walked out into the hallway. She couldn't hear over the sound of her racing heart, she couldn't see past the blur of tears in her eyes.
She shrugged away Kennedy as she reached out for her, shaking her head as she walked down the hallway, each step harder and harder to take.
She collapsed about twenty feet down the hallway and she buried her face into her hands. It was too much, it just hurt too much. He was gone, for good, and she never felt more alone in the world than she did in that one single moment.
Don't lose hope? How could she hold on to it when the only one who ever gave her hope was gone?