As annoyed as he was to have his daily routine interrupted by the ringing doorbell, Frasier simply couldn't stop smiling. A mere half hour ago, He'd been given the most incredible opportunity. For in just a few days he'd be going places that few could only dream about. He opened the door, dismayed to find Niles standing in the hallway, looking more distraught than he'd ever seen him.

"Niles, what brings you here?"

His little brother sighed deeply. "I'd rather not talk about it right now."

"Very well." Frasier said. He couldn't help feeling relieved. The last thing he needed was his little brother ruining his good mood. "You'll never guess what happened. It's incredible, really!"

Niles made his way into the foyer; the frown still on his face. "If you don't mind Frasier, I'd rather not. It hasn't been the best day. I received some rather unsettling news about Maris. It seems that she picked today of all days to leave town with her newest fling! An Olympic gymnast who just moved here from-."

"Niles, as fascinating as this story is, how is it different than all the other times that Maris has left town with a man?"

"I should have known that you wouldn't be supportive." Niles said, moving past Frasier en route to the bar. It was there that he poured himself a strong drink, consuming it in one gulp.

"Niles, really! What has gotten into you?" Frasier demanded.

"Not that you care about my feelings but there is some significance to Maris' leaving. Why did she have to pick today of all days?"

"What's so special about today?"

Niles swallowed hard, clearly hurt by the question. "If you must know, today is my wedding anniversary. And not just any anniversary. My fourteenth!"

Frasier looked at his brother thoughtfully. "Fourteenth, fourteenth... Let's see... that would be..."

"Ivory." Niles finished.

"Yes, but there's also the more modern gold jewelry and opals." Frasier added.

"All of which I purchased as an anniversary gift. But I guess it was just wishful thinking, that Maris still loves me."

Immediately Frasier softened. "Oh Niles... I'm sorry. I know it hurts."

"Obviously not enough to wipe that smile off of your face!" Niles retorted. "You don't give one ounce about my marriage or my feelings, so you might as well just tell me this incredible news of yours. I can tell it's just eating you up inside!"

"Well, when you put it that way-."

But before Frasier could begin his story, the door flung open revealing a very angry and very wet Martin; his hair a complete mess. It was the first time that the Crane brothers were rendered completely speechless.

"Dad! What happened?" Niles asked, rushing to help his father into the condo.

"What happened? What happened? I'll tell you what happened!" Martin shouted.

"But first I want to know... where's Daphne?"

"She was out with John." Frasier said, ignoring Niles look of dismay. "She's been planning that date for months now. Their big anniversary is tonight. I hope he gave her an acceptable ring."

Niles looked away with unease. "A-a ring?"

"Yes. She was so excited when I mentioned the prospect. I don't think it even crossed her mind that he might propose."

"Really..." Niles said.

"Oh for God's sake Niles! Do you honestly think that Daphne's going to just fall out of love with this man that she's been seeing for over a year to fulfill your... adolescent fantasy?"

Niles' mouth fell open in horror. "Who are you calling-."

"HEY!" Martin yelled, startling the Crane brothers to silence once more. "Doesn't anyone care about what happened to me?"

"Of course Dad!" Frasier said. "And by the way, what happened to your hair? You're soaking wet!"

"You're damn right I'm wet and do you know why? Because of Daphne, that's why!"

"Don't blame her for this!" Niles said accusingly.

"Like hell I won't! This is her fault! She swore she'd pick me up when she got home from her date with John. I even told her I'd wait on her but does she show? NO! And then the damn rain started! So there I am standing on the corner of Second and Bell Streets, looking like a drowned rat! This is the worst day ever!"

Frasier smiled. "Well then, it seems like you two could use some cheering up!"

"What in the hell are you talking about?" Martin asked. "And why are you smiling like that?"

"Frasier has big news for us!" Niles said with false enthusiasm.

"Indeed I do! Today I learned that I, Frasier Crane, am going to be sent to Alaska via Siren Cruise Lines! This is their maiden voyage for their Singles cruise! All I have to do is give a brief lecture on relationships!"

"And this is supposed to make us feel better?" Niles asked. "Frasier, how can you possibly think that the idea of you going on a luxury cruise would make Dad and I feel better? Have you no compassion?"

Frasier paused for a moment. "You know... I have an idea."

"Oh God, that can't be good." Martin groaned.

"Why don't we all go?" Frasier asked.

"What?"

"We'll all go! You, Dad and I! We'll have a great time!"

"It's a Singles cruise!" Niles pointed out.

"Yeah, so?"

"That's what makes it so great! It will give us a chance to do some male bonding!"

"Hey! Really Fras?"

"Of course Dad! You, Niles and I out in the open sea without a care in the world!"

"I'm sorry Frasier but I must decline!" Niles said.

"For God's sake Niles, I try to do something nice for you and this is how you repay me?"

Niles swallowed hard. "In case you've forgotten, I'm not single. I'm merely separated. Just because Maris left on our wedding anniversary doesn't mean I'm single! Any day now she's going to call and say that she was wrong about everything. She's changed her mind and she wants me back!"

"You're living in a dream world, Son." Martin said.

"Just because Maris felt the need to fly to a clinic in the Alps for an experimental rejuvenation treatment does not mean that she's left me for good! It merely means she needs some space!"

"How much space? Between here and Jupiter?" Martin asked, causing Frasier to burst into hysterical laughter. "Come on Niles, live a little! It'll be fun!"

Niles sighed deeply. "All right, fine! But don't expect me to enjoy it!"