It'd been two days since that afternoon on the old church rooftop. Two days of silence and avoidance. Faith didn't read too much into it, it was Buffy after all and it didn't matter how much time they spent together, it was still impossible to figure her out. Even when they went out on patrols together in the early evening hours—at night, in the dark, it was too dangerous now, even for slayers—they didn't speak and they didn't look at one another for more than a split second at a time.

It was so trivial and almost childish the way that Buffy was acting after their little naked stint in the rain. Faith didn't even feel guilty for wanting her, her libido quickly spiralling out of control and allowing her to have some very lustful thoughts about Buffy. It was a lust thing, a sex thing, and the fact that it'd been so long, that Buffy's touch had sparked something inside of her she didn't know she longed for until it happened. They were both grown women, living and surviving in a post-apocalyptic world. One way or another, it was bound to happen and it had, just a little, with that kiss and then with that touch while they were both without a stitch on, laying in a tarp filled with water in the freezing cold rain.

Faith hadn't been thinking too much about it, it just crossed her mind from time to time, wishing that Buffy would just snap out of it and they could go back to the way it was before that stormy afternoon happened. She was too busy thinking about other things to worry about the little blip in their rocky relationship. She'd been thinking a lot about Angel. About Dawn. About Aren, too, and all the other people that had fallen along the way, nameless strangers who she knew had at least one other person in the world that felt their devastating loss.

Eventually her dreams were filled with death. She could never escape it. It was like being trapped at the bottom of a seaside cliff when the tide was rising and there was nowhere left to run.

In the past two days, she'd spent more time alone than she had in all the months since she and Angel had found them hiding out in the cabin in the mountains. She liked the quiet and she liked being alone, even just for even an hour or two at a time. Her little makeshift shelter on the roof was her own personal little sanctuary, she'd even slept up there the night before. She didn't even mind it when Giles lectured her about it either, reminding her how important it was that everyone knew where everyone was at all times. Safety in numbers and knowledge of one another's whereabouts; it's what Giles believed had allowed them all to survive for as long as they had.

Faith looked over as she heard the metal door creak open slowly and she was a little surprised to see Buffy step out onto the roof and into the sunlight. She paused for a moment before she shut the door behind her and walked over towards Faith slowly, her shoes crunching along the gravel. Faith offered a friendly smile as she moved over on the blankets and Buffy crawled inside and sat down next to her.

"Here," Buffy said as she held out a brown paper bag. "Take it."

"What's this?"

"A peace offering."

"For what?"

Buffy sighed as she placed the bag down between them when Faith didn't take it from her. Faith pulled back the top of the bag and peered inside. She let out a short laugh as she saw the bottle of white wine inside, the bottle a little dusty but intact and unopened. She had to hand it to Buffy for remembering a fleeting conversation they'd had weeks ago that started out as a silly little game of listing off the things they missed the most and the things they didn't. Booze had been Faith's first answer and while she appreciated Buffy's little peace offering, she wanted an answer. A peace offering for what, exactly?

Buffy was silent as Faith pulled the bottle out and she unsheathed her dagger from her boot, stabbed the cork and very carefully pulled it out. She gave it a sniff before placing the bottle to her lips and took a sip. It was warm and it almost burned as she swallowed it. She pulled the cork off the end of her dagger and twisted it between her fingers.

"What's the peace offering for, B? Pretty sure you didn't do anything that requires you to make amends with a bottle of wine, which, by the way, thank you."

"Things kind of got a little…out of hand the other day," she said quietly, her eyes firmly locked on her hands that were folded in her lap. "I didn't mean for it to go like that…and then with the awkwardness since and the whole avoiding you and not talking to you thing, which you totally don't deserve because it was my fault. Totally and completely my fault."

"For wanting to strip naked and run out into the rain?" Faith asked with an eyebrow raised. She saw the slight blush creep over Buffy's cheeks and she couldn't help but laugh. "It's cool, B. Really. No need to be all awkward and shit about it now."

Buffy mumbled under her breath as Faith took another swig of the wine and she nudged Buffy's shoulder, emphasizing for her to repeat what she'd just mumbled. "I said, I can't believe you saw me naked."

"Wasn't the first time."

"Faith! That is so not the point—"

"You weren't the only one that stripped down butt naked, B, but I ain't going around feeling all weird about it. It's not a big deal. Trust me."

Faith offered her the bottle and Buffy took it. She didn't even hesitate as she took a few swigs, coughing as the liquid burned down her throat when she swallowed it. She shook her head and handed the bottle back to Faith, waving a hand as she coughed again.

"So, we cool now?" Faith asked quietly, her fingers picking at the label on the bottle. "B?"

"Yeah, I guess," she shrugged indifferently.

"Good, glad we got that all squared away."

"Yep. Definitely."

Buffy reached over and grabbed the bottle out of Faith's hand and she laughed as she watched her take a few healthy sips, this time the liquid not burning near as much as the first time. She clenched her jaw as she handed the bottle back to Faith and let out a long, exasperated sigh.

Faith wanted to ask her what was wrong, but she already knew she wouldn't get a word out of Buffy. There was no point in pushing her. She'd learned a long time ago, long before the world had changed, that Buffy was a lot like she was, closed off and unwilling to share her thoughts or what she was feeling. Faith respected that and nothing would change how either of them were, especially when they were around each other. Some friendships were easier with some people than with others, and her friendship with Buffy would always be difficult.

Not to mention all the confusing signals that seemed to dance back and forth between them. Some things would just never change.

Faith took another sip of the warm wine and let her thoughts wander. Because she'd been thinking about Angel a lot lately, she was remembering some of the better times they had together out on the road, along with some of the worst where she feared neither of them would make it through the night. And then she thought about that last day, that sunny Saturday morning she woke up with that feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. She could still hear the generator whirring outside and smell the smell of pancakes being cooked in the kitchen. And she could hear that loud crash as Angel fell to the floor, thrashing and convulsing as the fever consumed him completely, the last stage before he'd become one of them.

She wondered how much longer it would've taken. It'd been just over a week at that point since he'd been bitten. How much longer until he had turned into one of those blood-thirsty zombies that were everywhere now? Would it have been minutes? Hours? A couple more days?

You did the right thing. Nobody knows what would've happened if you'd waited any longer.

Giles' voice, his words that night when he was the only one stupid and brave enough to come to her while she was being swallowed with grief. It had also been the last time a drop of alcohol had touched her lips. After ransacking some of the bedrooms, she found it, a single bottle of tequila she brought back to her room and pounded shot after shot until she felt nothing but numbness inside. It didn't help, the tears just kept on coming and with the alcohol flowing through her veins, it made a dangerous combination with the intense grief she was feeling. Tears turned into anger, anger turned into her nearly destroying every piece of furniture in the room she'd been staying in.

And the only one that had been able to stop her from hurting herself had been Buffy. She woke up the next morning, her brain foggy on the details of the night before, the room a complete disaster and the mattress next to her occupied by a wide-awake Buffy watching her sleep.

They didn't say a word about what happened the day before and after Buffy patched up Faith's bloody knuckles with fresh bandages, she left her to sleep off her pounding hangover alone. She couldn't forget what happened when she woke up much later that day. She couldn't forget because that's when everything in her life completely changed.

And she became one of them.

(Six Months Ago…)

Faith shivered as she rolled over on the mattress and pulled the blankets tighter over her body. There was a chill in the room, the entire house, and it never seemed to go away no matter how long and how hot they let the fire burn in the fireplace in the den. Just faintly, over the sound of the generator whirring outside, she could hear the voices of the others talking.

It took her a few minutes to get her bearings, to let the night before replay itself in her mind fuzzily. She could still taste the tequila on her lips and smell it where she'd spilled it on her clothes in her drunken haze and the continuous flow of overflowing shots she poured for herself. She sat up and pulled the blankets off from around her and she moved around the room, picking up some of her clothes she'd ripped out of her duffel bag. She folded her shirts and her jeans, carefully placing them back into her bag before she changed out of her tequila-soaked t-shirt and pulled on a plain black long sleeve shirt.

After a quick trip to the bathroom to rinse out her mouth with mouthwash and put a brush through her hair—all the while avoiding her distraught appearance in the mirror—she joined the others in the den, the fire burning and crackling but doing nothing to warm the room.

"Ah, Faith, hello," Giles said, offering a warm, friendly smile as she hovered near the archway. "Would you join us? We were just discussing our next plan of action."

"Oh?"

"Would you care to take a seat?"

"I'm fine here, thanks," she replied quietly as she crossed her arms over her chest and shifted uncomfortably on her feet. "What's the plan?"

"We all know that we won't survive the winter here," Giles said as he paced the floor by the fireplace, all eyes in the room on him. "We know that going north is not an option and it is crucial that we avoid the main cities, as they are heavily populated with the infected."

"Zombies, Giles. Just call them zombies," Xander muttered. "That's what they are, aren't they?"

"Not particularly," Giles said with a short shake of his head. "Now, we have enough supplies that we can make it down into New Mexico. Faith, you and, ahem, when you travelled through there on your way up here, just how overrun were the towns you passed through?"

"Some of them were ghost towns, empty, deserted. Came across a few of the infected, but nothing like it was back in LA. There's nothing down there, Giles, sorry to say, but going down through New Mexico is only gonna be a death wish. Those towns? Picked clean by looters months ago. Ain't nothing left," she replied and the look of despair on the others faces was something she just couldn't brush off. "Where were you thinking of headed anyway?"

Nobody said a word. They didn't know where they were going. It was clear to her that wherever they went next, it was to survive another day. With no end destination in sight, she knew things could go very wrong, very fast, and that hope and the will to survive would die out quickly.

"It's gonna be a long winter if we don't get somewhere we can survive the elements," Giles spoke after a few long minutes of heavy silence. "Since travelling through New Mexico is not an option, does anyone else have a suggestion?"

"Maybe it's not as bad on the east coast?" Dawn suggested. "I mean, it started in California, right? How fast can this thing spread?"

"Fast," Faith said as she walked into the room. "You get bit, you got hours, a day, if that."

"But Angel—"

"Angel was already dead," Faith snapped and she breathed heavily, calming herself down as best as she could. Anger didn't make anything better, she already knew that much. "The infection spread through him slower because his heart? Not pumping that virus through him like it would with you or me. The point is, you get bit, you're dead before the day is out and then you turn into one of those things, hungry with insatiable blood-thirst that you go after the next living thing you find."

"It's like with any virus, any disease," Giles continued for her. "Say a man was bit, unaware of what bit him, in denial perhaps and he boards a plane from Los Angeles to Seattle and by the time the plane lands, he's already turned, feasting on the people inside that plane or the airport itself. People panic, more are bit, board another plane to get away from the chaos and it spreads further."

"It doesn't even have to be by people who are travelling," Willow said quietly. "There are millions of people fleeing all over the country. It's been a few months, Dawn. This virus? This infection? It's everywhere now and there's no point in trying to convince ourselves that maybe there's a place out there that hasn't been affected by this outbreak."

"This outbreak, as far as we're concerned, has contaminated the entire country and the only thing we can do is fight to survive."

"Why bother?" Dawn muttered as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Why bother, huh? So we survive another day, and then what?"

"Dawnie—"

"No, Buffy, just don't!" She screamed at her as she pushed Buffy away from her. "We could be running for months and nothing is going to change. It's only going to get worse. Why would anyone want to survive in a world like this? What did we even fight the First for? Maybe it would've been better if the First had won. Maybe if it had, this wouldn't be happening! At least there's be a point in surviving, to try to save the world. How the hell do we save the world from this?"

Dawn was shaking and she pushed at Buffy again when she tried to wrap her arms around her. Buffy didn't give up, fighting with her for a few minutes before Dawn collapsed and buried her face into Buffy's neck, her choked sobbing the only sound in the otherwise silent room.

"Somewhere out there, Dawn, someone is trying to stop this," Willow said as she moved to join Buffy and Dawn on the couch. "You have to at least believe that, put your faith that there are people, scientists and oh, maybe even Wiccan's in different covens all over the worlds, are doing everything they can to find a way to stop this infection from spreading even more."

"We don't know that."

"No, we don't, but you got to at least believe it even if you don't know for sure. We can't lose hope. Hope is the only thing we have that'll help us survive."

Faith clenched her jaw tight as Angel's last words to her rang through her mind as if he were right there whispering them into her ear. It was all about hope, wasn't it? Deep down she knew that was true and that what Willow had just said, it was the only thing that'll help them survive. You lose hope and what do you have left? Nothing but death waiting right around the corner, ready to take you out, just like all the others who had lost hope before you.

"Texas," Xander said quietly. "How about we go through Texas? Bit of a trek from here, might not have enough gas to make it halfway there, but it's a start."

"And warmer than Colorado," Kennedy pointed out helpfully. "We got a few containers of diesel in the shed and we can empty what's left in the generator. Faith, how far back did that Jeep break down?"

"Few miles."

"There's probably an extra battery in the shed we can take with us. Xander, you'll probably be able to fix it, right?" Kennedy asked and Faith could just feel the rising hope coming from her and what she was doing was working because Dawn stopped crying and was listening to her speak. "We got two vehicles, the van and the Jeep and enough gas to get us out of Colorado and into Kansas."

"Do you perhaps have any maps, Kennedy?" Giles asked and she nodded as she pointed to the desk in the corner of the room. "We'll have to find a route out of the state and come up with a backup plan in case we run into some serious complications along the way."

"There's just one thing," Buffy said as she rose to her feet and smoothed out her shirt. "After what happened with Angel yesterday, we have to accept right here, right now that it could happen to any one of us." She paused as everyone stared at her, unmoving. "If that happens, we need to make a pact right here, right now."

"What kind of a pact are you suggesting?" Giles asked.

"The kind where if any of us are bitten, infected, we get to choose how we die, whether it's by our own hand or any one of you. We get to choose and there will be no blame, no guilt, no hate or misunderstanding, and there will be no falling outs between any of us because you don't agree with the person one of us has chosen to kill us, to save the rest of us from finding the same fate."

Xander looked a little bit unsure, but he was the first to speak. "Do we have to choose now or—" He shook his head as he readjusted his eyepatch. "I don't think I can make that choice right now."

"And you won't have to," Buffy replied. "You won't have to make that choice when and if that day ever comes."

"I'm in," Faith said. Buffy just smiled tightly at her before looking over at the others, one by one, waiting for their answer, to agree on this pact. "Look, she's not saying it's gonna happen, only that it could happen, and if we agree to this, we can, I dunno, rest easy or whatever, just knowing we all got each other's backs no matter what."

The others gradually and eventually all agreed, nobody willing to discuss it any further. Faith didn't want to think about what would happen if any of the others were bit or who they'd choose to end their life before it was too late. She didn't even want to think about who she'd ask, but deep down she knew who she'd turn to in the end.

Buffy.

It would always come back to Buffy in the end and she wouldn't let herself stop and think just why that was, her head still pounding, her heart still broken and aching. It was too much, too heavy, and too much of a loaded question she wasn't quite ready to explore on her own.

With a plan set in motion, the rest of the afternoon went by quickly. The van was loaded up with all the supplies they had, the food, the weapons, clothes, tools, everything they could fit in the back and on the roof rack. They packed up all their things, boarded up the rest of the windows on the cabin just before nightfall and nobody seemed to want to spend the night on their own, everyone gathering in the den by the warmth of the crackling fire, the silence their only comfort as they settled in for the night. They were leaving first thing in the morning and it would be the dawn of a new day, a new life. The safety and the comforts of the mountain cabin would only just become another memory for all of them, and for Faith, her only memory of that place would be of the grief she'd experienced while she was there.

She couldn't wait to get out of there and put this all behind her, to somehow find hope along the way.

Faith stretched out, her foot hitting the empty wine bottle and she squinted as she listened to the bottle roll along the gravel roof. It was completely dark outside now and she sat up slowly, her body still thrumming from the buzz the wine had given her. The only sound she could hear once the bottle stopped rolling was the sound of crickets way off in the distance, in a field just a few blocks away, and the soft sound of Buffy breathing soundly as she slept near her.

"Shit," Faith muttered as she slipped out from under the makeshift shelter and stretched out completely.

She didn't remember falling asleep, the last thing she could remember was her and Buffy sharing the bottle of wine, neither saying a word until it was done and they sat there watching the sunset together, Buffy's hand somehow finding it's way into hers.

"Faith?" Buffy whispered quietly as she moved to stand next to her. "When did I fall asleep?"

"No clue, just woke up myself a minute ago."

"Oh."

"We should uh, get back in. Doubt Giles has the energy in him for another lecture like the one I got after spending the night up here last night."

"I don't think you need to worry about Giles," Buffy said quietly as she reached out and grabbed on to Faith's hand to keep her from walking away. "We have an arrangement."

"What?"

"I didn't explain in too many details, but I told him we needed some time together to work out a few things and asked him just to let us stay up here tonight, just the two of us," she said quietly and she let go of Faith's hand abruptly. "I just couldn't keep going on like we have been for the last couple of days."

"What with all that awkwardness because we hung out in the rain butt naked for a few minutes? No, we can't have that, can we?" Faith asked, her voice dry and laced with sarcasm. "Why don't you just tell me what you're playing at here, B. Just be for real with me for once and tell me what—"

Faith found herself suddenly locked in a hard kiss, Buffy's lips kissing hers insistently as Buffy's arms slipped around her shoulders, her hands cupping the back of her neck as she kept her from moving away. Faith's whole body was tense and it took her brain a moment to catch up, but once it did, she smiled against Buffy's lips and kissed her back, slipping her tongue past Buffy's lips to deepen the kiss as he hands slipped over her narrow hips and pulled her body flush against her own. She was drowning in the heated, passionate kiss, her head spinning, the world falling away from her just for a moment.

What was happening? She hadn't expected this and she definitely hadn't seen it coming. Her heart was racing as her palms laid flat against Buffy's lower back, holding her close as they kissed deep and slow. What was happening? Why was Buffy kissing her? Why wasn't she pushing her away, asking her what the hell was happening? Why was it almost impossible for her to stop? Why didn't she want to stop?

Faith pulled back after a few minutes, her head spinning as she stared into Buffy's eyes in the darkness. Words seemed to fail her as she licked over her lips, her eyes searching Buffy's for answers to unspoken questions. She closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the feel of Buffy's fingers as they gently stroked over the nape of her neck and she caressed her hands over Buffy's lower back, her fingers dipping just under the hem of her t-shirt and along her soft, warm flesh underneath.

The lustful desire, the passion, the urge, the need flooding through her body was too much to deny was even there. There were too many questions, too many answers both of them needed to give, to hear, but words seemed to be failing both of them as they stood there in each other's arm on the gravel rooftop underneath the twinkling stars above.

Giving in to that lustful desire, Faith captured Buffy's lips in another heated kiss, her palms roaming over her lower back and down the slight curve of her ass, pulling Buffy harder against her, feeling Buffy's body react to hers, Buffy's hips rolling against her own as they drowned each other in the passion that was flowing between them. For once she could feel something else other than the struggle to hold on to hope, the exhaustion of trying to survive another day, the heavy feeling that had been in her heart for the last six months that suddenly seemed to be lifting away and all with just a kiss.

Her hands shook as she moved them back up to rest on Buffy's lower back, her body arching into Buffy's as Buffy sucked on her lower lip before slowly pulling away, both of them breathing heavily as they stood there holding on to one another, their eyes still closed, their hearts racing, lips still mere inches apart.

"I don't know what's happening to me," Buffy whispered, finally breaking the silence between them. Faith swallowed hard as she leaned forward and pressed her forehead to Buffy's, keeping her eyes shut as she held on to her. "I don't know what to do anymore, Faith. Every time I'm near you, every time I even think about you, I—I feel these things, these feelings for you. They won't go away."

Faith could feel her hands trembling as she continued to stroke them along the nape of her neck. She leaned back and finally opened her eyes, staring into Buffy's that were so full of emotion that for one Faith could see it all. Faith could finally see how scared and lonely she was, that lustful desire underneath that that mirrored her own, the confusion, the frustration, the need to want to give in to what her body wanted. Faith licked over her lips, waiting, words still failing her, and only her quick, heavy breaths stumbled past her lips.

"I don't know how to stop feeling this way," Buffy whispered. "I don't know if I even want to stop feeling this way or for the way I feel about you to go away. I was so scared, Faith. I was so scared when we were up here the other day during that storm, naked and vulnerable, laying myself bare, literally, in front of you. I wanted it. I wanted you so badly, but I was so scared to let it happen, to give in. I don't know how to not be so afraid of giving in, or how to stop feeling this way."

Faith wasn't sure what she was feeling, but she knew hearing Buffy say those things made her feel something. Something more than lust, something more than a driving need, something more than insatiable passion in the heat of the moment. Her words continued to fail her, her mind running full tilt, but none of her thoughts made any sense and all she could do was feel and become pulled in to the moment that was unfolding between them.

Faith wasn't sure who initiated the kiss next, but they were kissing and moving and they ended up inside the makeshift shelter, laying down on the blankets with Buffy on top of her. Faith wasn't taking control, leaving that up to Buffy, taking into consideration just what she was feeling in this moment instead of playing on her own lustful desires. It didn't stop her from slipping her hands under the hem of Buffy's t-shirt, her hands seeking out the warmth of Buffy's skin. The deeper the kiss became, the more passion that fuelled between them, it left them both breathless as Buffy pulled back from her lips suddenly.

"I want this, Faith, I do. I'm just…I need some time to figure this out. I need time to…get used to this, the idea of wanting to be with you because I don't know what his is or what it could be yet," she whispered, her body trembling as she moved to lay next to her. "Can you give me that, Faith? Can you…wait?"

Faith sighed softly, nodding her head as she wrapped her arms around Buffy, her brain still going a mile a minute as she tried to pick out one single thought from all of them. She placed a kiss on Buffy's forehead and it wasn't long before she felt her drift off to sleep in her arms.

And it was only then that she finally spoke, just a whisper lost in the silence and in that lingering moment.

"I'll wait for you," she said softly, closing her eyes, almost giving into the pull of sleep. "I'll wait forever for you, B, if that's what you want, what you need. I'll wait."