Words I've Never Said

Please forgive me if this chapter isn't the best...I actually had a hard time finding my muse for a while for this one, but I promise the next one will be better ^.^

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Teen Wolf nor do I make money off of this story. I do own my OCs and this plot, so back off.

Warnings: Adult Language, Gore and Sexual Situations. I will put up warnings when any sex is in the chapters.

Thank you to all who reviewed, added this story to your favorites and to those who are following my story! You guys are amazing! Female Whovian, The Things You Wish You Knew, Teresaseda28, Msspicyjalapeno, Jenna West 21, Wabi-Sabi1090, Guest, The Person Under Your Bed, Carlie13

*** So…I have a question for you guys. I have no clue how this whole Beta thing works, but if anyone could shed some light on the topic for me could you PM me please? I think my story could be better if I could find one ^.^

KCatherine~

Leading her back to his room Derek had to physically make her walk out of the bathroom and back to the room. Keeping his hands on her quivering shoulders while practically shoving her out, gently yet firmly. Embarrassment put aside for something much larger, Lily didn't care or really take notice that she had stepped out of the fallen jeans and was left in only the large t-shirt that barely covered her ass. Her fingers ran across her still changed face as she was forced down to sit on the bed, one thought going through her mind, 'I'm a hideous monster.'

The moment Derek released her though and made to back away had Lily snapping out of the slight haze she was in and she reacted in a way she never had before, by reaching out and grabbing his arm to keep him near, raising her eyes up as she begged for the first time for help, "Please…make it go away," at his raised brow she clarified, "Make my face turn back…you made it change…so change it back."

Looking down at her he decided the teaching started right there and then. Shaking his head he ignored her panicked expression as he pulled away from her, "You do it." What? What did he just say? Narrowing her eyes at him she stood up and waved a hand before her face, "If I could…this…this thing would be gone! I don't want to see it, I don't want any part of it." Her eyes were flickering between normal gold and glowing amber as she snarled out at the taller man, though really it was hard to seem intimidating wearing nothing but a t-shirt but her face sure did make up for it.

Tucking his thumbs in his front pockets Derek shook his head at her words while feeling his irritation rise, she was just like Scott. Only there was a chance she was going to be worse than him with the whole acceptance thing. "There is nothing wrong with how you look, if it makes you feel better you're one of the prettier female wolves, its apart of you now so you need to accept it-"

"That doesn't make me feel any better! I don't want it-…what's your name?" That had been getting on her nerves ever since she woke up in his bed. Stranger Danger was getting to be a mouth full…in her mind.

"Derek, and you will. You have lived with heightened senses; your hearing is better, eye sight sharper, your smell is stronger. Even your strength is better than the average humans, you need to accept the wolf within you," he could not understand how she could not want the gift, he was going to explain the same thing to Scott when he finally got alone with the annoying kid. "Focus Lily, find something that will help you calm down."

"I am calm!" OK…that was a huge total lie and they both knew it…he knew her name…how did he know her name?

"Really now? Anyway…an anchor will help you when this happens or if you feel the change coming on. Think of how you changed for the first time, how you changed back," trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice as he explained to her what she needed to do Derek watched as she shook her head and said, "I was ten…"

Rolling his shoulders and head he threw out, "That doesn't help much."

Clenching her hands into fists Lily suddenly hissed at the sharp pain as her claws easily pierced the tender flesh of her palms. Shit, she forgot about those. Small drops of blood fell from the wounds and landed on the hard wood floor and as she began talking she missed the way Derek's nostrils flared slightly at the scent of her blood, "I don't want to talk about that night."

Sighing he shook his head, yet another thing he was going to have to work on, "Look. I can teach you control," as she tried to protest he bit out, "You almost exposed yourself to three humans last night and shifted right in front of me and attacked me, now I get it; you were drugged up and weren't yourself but you can't do that shit in front of the humans. Especially in front of the Hunters."

At this his voice turned into a deep growl as he stalked closer to her, not caring that she tried backing away from him, until he was only a few inches away, "And if you attract them to yourself…you attract them to me. And if you do that, I will kill you." Placing a hand in the center of her chest, pressing it against her sternum, he shoved her down back onto the bed, "Now sit your ass down and listen to me when I tell you to focus. Anger and intense fear bring on the change, but pain makes us human, but you don't need any more pain at the moment so think of something…anything that could anchor you back down." That was almost…nice of him.

Every single part of her at the moment wanted to bit and rip him apart but just as soon as that entered her mind the human side of her was quick to rethink that emotion, and instead tried to do as he said. Taking a deep breath she tried to think of things that made her happy…calmer…more human then what she was feeling at the moment, 'You can do this Lily, you're a smart girl. You graduated top in your class in high school and you're some-what a successful Interior Designer like mom…so just…just focus and think!' Shutting her eyes Lily focused in on her own heart beat and scent. It was the first thing that came to mind.

But it really was only making her aware of the fact that her normally jasmine, vanilla and canine scent, courtesy of Splitz, was now almost over powered by the scents of dirt, blood, spice and woods and the lingering scent of expensive cologne…Jackson's cologne.

It was still on her.

Derek could smell her growing anger and fear on her as he watched her and for a second he thought it would be a lost cause.

Fisting her hands in the sheets at her sides she frowned as she tried something else when nothing worked.

Bringing up a picture of Splitz in her mind, she began remembering how she reacted the very first time she met him; how she immediately fell in love with his small body and too large of ears. His warm chocolate eyes that just wanted to be loved. And loved he was for he was always by her side and he became her best friend. How they would go the beach in Miami and swim and play around until it was time to head back home, how he would protect her from those who tried approaching her when she would flinch back from them. To the many nights where he slept next to her in bed as she cried herself to sleep while holding onto him on nights where she felt so lost and alone.

It was like he knew just what she needed.

She was able to remember all the runs they had gone on, the hiking trips that went along with some of those runs. She remembered how soft his fur always was…as long as he hadn't been rolling in mud and dirt. How he would wake her up with either licks to her face or to her exposed toes in the morning, his barks and playful attitude that only she and her family have ever truly seen.

Derek watched in satisfaction as a gentle smile went across her face as her heart rate slowly began to slow down to a normal rhythm, her scent changing to a pleasant one that reminded him of spring time, when the flowers came out to bloom.

And then…it happened.

Lily didn't feel the pain of the shift this time around, but she sure did hear it. The loud cracking noises were loud to her as she opened her eyes, locking onto blank green ones as she could now feel her bones shifting back but still no pain.

Brining a hand up she looked in amazement as her claws receded back down until they were blunt, harmless human nails. It was like a huge relief settled down on her as she felt around her face, feeling normal skin…no deformed features. Running her fingers down her cheek and along her lips she felt around her teeth, letting out a sigh as she felt no deadly fangs there.

She did it.

"Good, now…whenever you feel out of control, you need to remember whatever it was you just did and keep it in your mind."

Looking up at Derek he saw the last of the gold bleed away to light blue as she kept on smiling and for a moment he paused in what he was going to say next as he kept staring in slight wonder before he was quick to shake it off and go back to being his scowling self. So what if she had a nice, slightly crooked smile. "Now…it's time for you to answer all my questions."

Well that really had her smile melting away at the tone he used with her. It was commanding, leaving no choice but to obey. Good thing she wasn't that type of girl, did she listen to him when he told her to focus? Sure, it worked out in her favor after all, but to answer his questions? First of all she was instantly on edge about what kind of questions he had in mind.

"No."

"No?" Raising a brow Derek threw her word back at her.

"No…I don't have to tell you anything."

Running a hand down his face he barely gave her any time before he was hovering right above her, her sharp gasp went ignored by him as he shoved her all the way back onto the bed, one hand on her shoulder and the other cradling her neck, not choking her but a flex of his hand could change that, "I really don't have time for whatever rebellious attitude you're feeling right now, but I'm going to tell you this now, I am really not in the mood to deal with this."

When she went to open her mouth he quickly slapped a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet as he continued, "You need me…do you hear me? You need me to help you with everything that is happening and everything that is going to happen. I brought you here, somewhere safe…my home…when hell broke loose for you. I took care of you when you changed…and frankly I have no clue how you survived this long, but like I said, I'll be damned if you lead the Hunters around here. You will listen to me, you will do as I say and you will answer any questions I have about you…I'm not asking, I'm telling. I'm a lot stronger then you and I have more control then you do. Do you understand?"

Light blue eyes went wide with every word he snarled out at her, she was very much aware of how close his body was to hers and even much more aware of how close his face was to hers, his breath hitting her face. When he slapped his hand over her lips she could feel that spark of panic as her mind flashed to last night where Jackson had done the exact same thing but just as quickly as the panic started up it flared down as his scent was all the more pronounced and her feeling if a little more relaxed, though still tensed with how he was speaking to her.

She had shifted last night? Attacked him? No…no that shouldn't have happened…she didn't want to keep on changing! But Derek was totally expecting her to do so…and to accept it. Just. Like. That. How could he expect that from her? She didn't want to be a…a…werewolf! If she hadn't seen her face actually change she would still be calling him a crazy, insane person…but as it was now…she couldn't. Oh God…her family…what was she going to say to them? Could she say anything to them? How would they react? Call her insane? Hate her? Fear her or send her away?

A clench of his hand against her throat had Lily coming back to attention to the large, powerful man above her as he looked to be on the verge of strangling her and so Lily did something that shocked her, she nodded her head in a frenzied motion, anything to get him off and away from her!

Smirking down at her Derek removed his hand from her mouth and her throat but stayed where he was straddling her hips, practically caging her in still as he nodded his head in satisfaction, "Good. Let's begin then."

"G-get off me first…"

Shaking his head while giving her a knowing look he said, "I'm find where I am, now then…what is your full name?"

Biting her lip she tried to keep her face from flushing as she shifted beneath his strong body, she really didn't want him touching her but honestly Lily didn't think she could shove him off her as easily as he had done to her before, leaning up on her elbows she whispered out, "Lily Scarlett Donavon."

Shit…shit shit shit. Pale green eyes went wide as he listened to her speak her last name. He knew of it…of the top werewolf who lived in New York…he knew of her father, Calix. Knew of his murder years ago from his own father, and he knew that someone very deadly would have had to be able to kill someone like Calix fuckin' Donavon. That was one wolf Derek would never, ever want to meet or piss off. Why? Because-

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

At the unease voice below him Derek glared down at her and said, "Donavon…you lived in New York?"

At her nod he cursed again, this was his daughter…the last of the Donavon line that held the genes and blood of one of the most powerful Alpha's known in the US. She was born to be a Alpha…she was born to be a powerful, deadly predator…leader…and she had no fucking clue about anything!

"Derek! What's going on?" Reaching up she smacked his arm as her anxiety grew at the expressions going across his face and eyes, she could even smell his emotions.

Groaning out Derek knew without a doubt that if any of the Hunters found out about her…about the line she comes from…that every Hunter would be after her. He couldn't let that happen…her blood was important. Practically royalty to any and all who were werewolves. This…this just got a lot more complicated.

"You…this…fuck. How the hell could you not know what you are when your father was still alive? Surely he had to tell you even you first changed in front of him?"

Whoa…why was he suddenly accusing her of this…and what did he mean her father? What did he have to do with this? "My father died when I was five…he has nothing to do with…this," waving her hand in front of her face for some help in what she was talking about she froze when he snarled down right into her face, green eyes flashing startling blue as he yelled out, "He has everything to do with this, you idiot! You weren't bitten, your blood can testify for that, no…you were born a werewolf and to be born as one either both or one of your parents would have had to carry the gene…hence your father. Calix Donavon."

It was like the air had been sucked right out of her lungs as she listened to what he was saying, there was no way that was true…her dad? A werewolf? No…no that couldn't be…it couldn't! Granted she barely remembered the man but she knew he was always home…and she knew he had never changed into a wolf! "My father was not a werewolf."

Rolling his eyes down at her Derek wasn't going to sugar coat anything else for her as he said, "Yes he was…and he just wasn't a werewolf. He was an Alpha...a well-known, powerful Alpha. Which means that only someone stronger…deadlier…killed him. And if they find out about you…" He paused for a brief moment as his mind worked to think something over, his eyes going over to her left shoulder as he asked, "Lily…how did you get that scar?"

Looking at him in confusion as her hand reflexively came up to grab a hold of her shoulder she really didn't want to answer his question…for it would open a whole chest of more questions.

"Answer. The. Question."

"I-I was kidnapped w-when I was ten…two guys…they hated my father and took it out on me." Biting her lip Lily paused hoping that was enough but at his narrowing eyes she quickly went on, "They beat me, tortured me for two says until one decided to carve into me. It's the one scar that has never healed." She could feel the tears stinging behind her eyes as the memories of that night came rushing back to her as she gave a brief description for the first time ever. She missed how his eyes flashed blue as she told him what they did.

"Ten years…that was when your first change happened…"

Not a question, but she nodded anyways.

"What happened to the two men?"

At that she immediately began shaking her head, no…no she didn't want to admit to what she had done…what she was capable of. Taking a hold of her moving head Derek forced her to stop and look right at him as he asked her again, this time trying to keep his voice a bit on the gentler side.

One tear freed itself from the corner of her eye as she looked right up into deceitfully calm green eyes, "I killed them."

It was a soft, broken whisper but he heard it and he closed his eyes for a moment before looking back down at her, unconsciously wiping the tear trail from her cheek as he said one single word, "Good."

Uggh...I'm sorry, I'll go back in a day or two and reread this chapter and I might add or fix some things!

Let me know what you think ^.^

KCatherine~