Chapter 2: One Step Forward Two Steps Back

Two weeks had passed since the bar room fight. Cait and String were making headway adjusting to married life. Cait was happy but there were some things she wanted to talk about with String that was bothering her. It wasn't her imagination, he was making it so she was flying less stunts. Not to mention that the last two Airwolf missions he took St. John and she was conveniently left out. Granted they were simple assignments but still she was beginning to think she was never going to see the lady again. She had started to approach him about it a few times but the last few days he was moody and almost distant from not just her but everyone. She worried that perhaps he was rethinking marrying her. Did he regret it and not know how to tell her?

"I'm going to run to the store and pick us up some groceries and drop them off at the house. Anything you want me to get?" Cait asked as String sat going over a flight plan.

"No, I'm good. Just get back here soon. I can't leave the office until Dom and St. John get back."

"Do you want me to make some coffee and answer the phones for you as well?" She said, her anger showing just a bit.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He said as he threw the pencil down he was writing with.

"Never mind. I need to go. I don't want to take more than my hour for my lunch."

"Suite yourself." He replied going back to what he was working on.

Cait got in the car. As soon as the door was shut she started to cry. She tried not to. He made her so mad the way he could just dismiss her like that. Seemingly unaware that he had just hurt her. She remembered her mother's advice from a few weeks ago. The honeymoon doesn't last forever she had said. Once the newness wears off you're left with the things that annoy you about each other. This she thought was beyond that. There was something defiantly wrong. She had faced String down on other occasions but that was before they were together. When she had taken him head on in the past she didn't have to go home with him later.

Cait arrived at the store. Mostly she was buying the things String liked. He, like her ate healthy. They both preferred fruits and vegetables and never ate packaged foods. She was a good cook and String liked her cooking. She was beginning to think the way he was acting lately she was going to turn into a nineteen fifties housewife. Staying at home cooking and minding the kids. What happened to the man she knew, he always respected her and believed in her abilities. She knew they needed to talk and fast before this did any more damage to their marriage.

Cait arrived back at the hangar to find String gone.

"Dom, can I talk to you?"

"Sure sweetheart, what's on your mind?"

"Have you noticed that String has been a little distant lately?"

Dom didn't want to say anything but he had noticed that String was even quieter lately then he usually was. He also noticed that he had been pushing Cait away. He knew it would have only been a matter of time before Cait approached him about it. Dom had a feeling he knew why String was acting this way but didn't want to be the one to tell her. But if he didn't, Cait would have no idea what she was about to encounter with String. This would really test the strength of their marriage.

"Yeah I noticed, you know String, he goes through his moods and nobody knows why. Not even me sometimes."

"It's not just his mood. Have you noticed that he is keeping me from the lady? Not to mention that I seem to be left out of the stunt work at the studio. It's as if he has forgotten that I'm a pilot too."

"Well, I have noticed that. Actually I asked him about it the night we were all at BJ's."

"What did he say?"

"He just said there was nothing to it. You know him that was as far as the conversation went."

Cait looked down, her expression changing to one of sadness. "I'm afraid he is regretting marrying me and doesn't know how to tell me."

"Regretting…." Dom threw his hands up in the air. "Listen kid, I don't want to hear you talk like that again. If there is one thing I know for sure it's that String loves you. You have been the best thing to happen to him and he knows it."

"Then why don't I feel that way?"

"Have ya tried talkin to him about this?"

"More times than I can count. When I want to talk he clams up or leaves. He has been gone a lot lately."

"Well at least you two have a healthy love life, if you know what I mean."

Cait's expression was now of one of embarrassment. "Well about that….."

"Don't tell me that you two have not been, ah you know …"

"Not for the past week Dom. When we are at the cabin or the house he is always finding an excuse not to be with me, and that's when he does come home."

Dom was really upset now. "What do you mean when he does come home?"

"Twice this week he went to the cabin without me. When I noticed how late it was getting I called him only to find out he was at the cabin. I asked him why and he gave me a lame excuse that he needed to check on Tet or that he had some work to do there and didn't think I would want to come. Why would I not want to come Dom? He's my husband and I want to be with him."

Taking her into a hug "Don't worry Cait, things will work out. I promise."

Dom didn't let on to her but he was furious with String. He planned on having a talk with him and this time he was not going to stalk off.

Cait waited at the hangar until six o'clock. When String hadn't returned she decided to have St. John drive her home.

"You're awful quite tonight." St. John said trying to lighten the mood in the car.

"I'm just kinda of tired is all."

"Are you sure it's not that you're worried about String, or are you really tired?"

"So you think you know me pretty well now huh?"

"Cait, I was an operative for six years you know. I think I can read the face of a person who is trying to fool everyone into believing she's ok." St. John then pulled into a parking lot turning around to drive in the opposite direction.

"Where are you going?" Cait asked confused.

"I'm taking you to dinner."

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Dom waited at the hangar determined that String was not going to avoid him this time. He had wanted to talk to him but knowing this String was being elusive. Driving up to the hangar String saw that Dom was there. He debated going in. He thought better of it since he knew Dom was aware he had avoided him. Deciding he had put it off long enough he went inside.

"Did you think you could avoid me forever?" The look on Dom's face said that he was not in the mood to joke around.

"Let's get this over Dom, I have places to be."

"Is that a fact, well I know one place you won't be going and that is home to Cait."

String buried his face in his hands. "What did she tell you?"

"That she thinks you don't want to be married to her and don't know how to tell her."

"And"

"And that you haven't been coming home and when you do you avoid her and I mean in every way avoid her. When are you gonna tell her what's really eatin you or are you going to let her go on thinking it's her?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Dom."

"Oh yes you do, I know you String and I also know what date is coming up. Remember I have been through this with you before." Dom walked over to the calendar and pointed at August eighteenth. "In two days it will mark two years that she died."

String started to leave the office. "Where do you think you're going young man? I'm not finished with you yet."

"Well I am." String said as he headed for his car Dom following right behind.

"Keep it up String and you will hurt her. This isn't fair to her you know. Gabrielle is gone; Cait is here right in front of you.

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St. John took Cait to a little French restaurant that he liked. He had spent a lot of time in France on assignments and developed a love for French cooking. It was a very inviting place and Cait began to relax which is what St. John was going for.

"Still not talking?"

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?"

"I'll talk about anything you want."

"Ok, I want to know more about St. John Hawke."

This is not what St. John was looking for. Cait was smart and she had just turned the tables on him. This was one of the reasons he knew she was good for String. She was too sharp to let him get away with anything. "Ok so what do you want to know about me?"

"Have you ever been in love before?"

"Wow you don't hold back, do you? I have loved a few women but never really been "in love." St. John let his mind wander back three years ago in France. He was sitting in a restaurant much like where they were now. "There was this one girl who came the closest to roping me in."

"Roping you in huh. That may be you're problem right there."

"You know what I mean, leading the kind of life I was leading was not ideal for a long-term relationship."

"So what happened with… , what was her name?"

"Kimmy"

"Kimmy, what happened with her?"

"She was an American; I met her at a restaurant. She was waiting tables. The first time I saw her I thought I needed to.., well let's skip that part. I just knew she was someone I wanted to be with."

"'So did you ask her out?"

"Not the first time I saw her. I went back every night that week. One night I went right before they were closing. I waited outside and offered to walk her home. I was surprised she trusted me and said yes. Instead of finding out more about her I ended up lecturing her all the way there for letting a total stranger walk her home."

Cait was really enjoying listening to St. John share his story. She was hanging on to every word. "So what happened when you got to her place?"

"We talked for about a half hour outside her door. She asked me to come in." St. John paused.

"Well don't leave me hanging."

"I said no. It was the first time that I tuned an attractive woman down. That's when I knew she was someone I could fall for. I kissed her goodnight and asked if I could take her out some time. I wanted to do it right. We dated and stayed together for about a month."

"What happened after that?"

"It got to the point where I needed to tell her the truth about what I did or leave."

Cait looked as if she were going to cry, "You left her? That's so sad "she said lightly smacking his arm.

"You're such a hopeless romantic. Not everyone ends up with the fairytale ending like you."

Cait darted her eyes down at the food that was just delivered to their table. "Looks good, let's eat."

St. John thought to himself. "She's worse than him when it comes to hiding her feelings. Looks like I'm not going to get anything out of her tonight."

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String pulled up to the house. It was dark. He knew she wouldn't be in bed this early. He pulled out his cell phone to call her. It went straight to vm. He was starting to get concerned so he dialed St. John. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to know where Cait is would you."

"She's with me. She needed a ride back to the house but instead I kidnapped her and took her to dinner. Want to join us?"

"No, just tell her I'm going to stay at the cabin tonight. I have some work to finish there."

Cait was wishing St. John would drive faster. It was all she could do not to cry in front of him. She tried letting on that she was ok with String going to the cabin. They had finished their dinner without mentioning the call from String. She was dreading spending another night without Him.

The next day Cait arrived at the hanger to find Dom working. "Morning Cait, where's String?"

"I don't know Dom, he stayed at the cabin again last night."

"Damn it, that boy, I'm going to kick his butt. Cait come in the office, I need to talk to you."

Cait was getting afraid of what Dom was going to tell her. She bit her lower lip nervously as she followed him to the office.

"Have a seat kid, I think you have a right to know what's eatin String." Dom poured himself a cup of coffee trying to think of the words to say. "Has String ever told you anything about Gabriella?"

"Most of what I know you told me. I know he was in love with her and how she died. Why?"

"Tomorrow marks two years since her death."

Cait didn't speak. She was having a hard time sorting through what Dom had just said. String was pulling away from her because he was still mourning the loss of Gabriella. "So are you telling me that he is still in love with her?"

"No, I don't think even he knows what he feels. He did the same thing last years. Remember when he disappeared for days and no one knew where he was?"

"You mean that was because of Gabriella?"

"Yeah, it was. I thought this year would be different?"

"You mean because he is married to me?"

"Cait I know this is just a phase he is going through. You know he has a hard time letting things go."

"Dom I need to leave for a while if you don't mind. I will be back in a few hours."

"Sure go ahead sweetheart. Where are you going?"

"To the cabin. I need to hear this from him."

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Cait landed on the dock. String looked out the window rolling his eyes. Thinking to himself, "not now Cait, I really don't want to do this now."

Cait walked with a determined gait up to the cabin. Opening the door she found him sitting there with a bottle of wine in front of the fireplace. She walked over sitting in the chair opposite him. Neither one spoke waiting to see who would speak up first.

"Since you're not going to talk to me I guess I'll say what I came to say."

String felt badly for hurting her but couldn't bring himself to say anything.

"Fine then, I spoke with Dom. I know why you have spent time alone. I get that you're hurt String and that you lost someone you loved in a horrible way. But what I don't understand is why you married me if you never got over her. I can't compete with this. I don't know how and if I even want to. What you're doing is not healthy for you or for me. As much as I love you I won't settle for less. I almost made that mistake with Tom. If you are second guessing our marriage then have the courage to say it to my face instead of hiding away."

String could see that she was trying to be brave. He knew it was taking all she had not to fall apart in front of him. One more time he had broken her heart again. Setting his wine glass down he stood up facing the fire-place.

"I do love you, I hope you know that. I need some time alone, just give me another day."

Cait didn't answer him. He turned around when he heard the click of the cabin door shutting. He stood thinking what his next move should be. He took quick steps for the door. Opening it he saw the jet ranger taking off from the docks. Suddenly finding himself alone he realized how much he ached to have her there. Why did he always have to sabotage his happiness.