- Chapter Four -

Resting his head against the windshield of his car, body sprawled over the hood, he gazed heavenwards, taking in the crescent moon and the dozens of stars dotted across the sky. He wondered if she was really up there, watching over him, as she had promised him upon hundreds of occasions.

He took another swig from a beer bottle that seemed permanently glued to his hand and tried to remember her face. Lately, he'd been having a hard time remembering her voice, and her face too was slowly disappearing from his memory. But he couldn't. Frustrated, he took another mouthful and then another.

He tried to call back his last memory of her but again found out that he couldn't. He tried to recall her last words to him but they seemed lodged permanently in the abyss that was his memory. Anger pulsating through his body, he bolted off the windshield and hurled the bottle at a near by tree. With a satisfying crunch, it shattered into pieces and rained down against the base of the tree, the amber liquid seeping into the parched earth.

He slid off the hood and got back into the car, every muscle tense. How could he have forgotten her like that? With a twist of his key, he sprang the car back to life and reveled in the noise for a second before speeding off. His head was threatening to explode but he pushed past it, needing to keep his mind occupied.

Merging with a major road, he swerved between cars, the speed and rush keeping at bay his guilt. Tail lights and exhaust fumes danced in a haze through his vision but the honking of horns and the roar of the cars around him kept his thoughts from straying.

He slowly accelerated his speed, though unsure of just exactly where he was going. He took turns here and there, cutting between other vehicles. His mind drifted, yet his body strived on towards an unknown destination.

Slowly, congested roads gave way to open lanes and the noise and lights of the city died down around him.

Ten minutes later, outside the welcome sign to Stars Hollow, he brought the car to a screeching halt.

---

She read the words on the page, but wrapped in her own thoughts, along the journey between her eyes and her brain, they lost all meaning. All she could think about was Tristan. Until now, she had been certain that she had moved past him; let him go.

In school, they were practically strangers and she had slowly grown accustomed to that. And at home, her mother no longer mentioned him and to that too, she had adjusted. But now, all she could think about was Tristan. Within the span of several days, he'd wound up back in her thoughts.

Frustrated, she slammed down the book and headed for her bedroom. She hoped that at least in sleep, she could find some solace.

Entering her room, Rory nearly screamed in surprise as a figure rose from a chair by the window.

"Rore, it's just me," Tristan spoke up, trying to calm her nerves. "I just…"

"What the hell is wrong with you? You scared me half to death," she interrupted, relief giving way to annoyance and anger.

He looked exhausted and on the verge of collapsing, nothing like the slick Tristan she was used to, sauntering down the halls of Chilton.

"I'm sorry Rore…I just wound up here and…I just…" he stammered, as if no longer sure of his reasons.

For a moment, remembering the countless hours they'd spent watching movies, playing games or reading books in her room, she felt a twinge of happiness at seeing him here again. It was almost like the old days when, stuck in a bad mood, he'd sneak into her room and unload everything on her.

But things are different now, a voice called from the back of her head, and once again, her defenses were up.

"You can't be here Tristan," she spoke up, emotions under tight control, but he didn't seem to have heard her.

"Tristan.."

"Rore, I just need to talk…I don't…" he interrupted, moving to take a seat on her bed.

"Tristan?" Despite herself, Rory inched closer to him, concern overshadowing anger.

"It's been a while," he sighed, surveying her room and referring to the fact that he had not been here in almost four years.

"Yeah, I know."

"My dad remarried you know?" he offered up, but did not make eye contact with her. "Two years ago."

She took a seat beside him, wondering at the way his mind skipped from one thing to the next.

"I was the best man…did you come? I'm sure you came? I think I danced with you."

"No Tristan, I wasn't there…"

"Are you sure? Anyways, she's great. We all love her. And she…and she…" His voice had gone down to a whisper now and his eyes were focused on a spot outside the window.

"Tristan…"

"And my dad's really happy too you know, happier than he was with…with…" He broke off distractedly and searched for something in his pocket. Fingers clasping the metal neck of his father's flask, he pulled it out.

As if singed, Rory jumped back, understanding dawning on her. How could she have been so stupid? His breath was laced with alcohol.

"You're drunk," she spat, anger once again flaring up inside, leaving no room for sympathy.

Catching the anger in her voice, he quickly put away the flask.

"You need to go Tristan."

"Rore I'm sorry…I've been doing it for so long that it's practically become…

"I don't care Tristan. Just go." She could see him contort his features in sorrow but she made her self immune to it, focusing instead on the flask, still protruding from the inside of his jacket.

"Just five minutes…"

"Tristan…"

"Please." It was like a needle piercing through her heart. One word from him was all it took for her defenses to crumble.

In a gesture of compliance, she once again took a seat beside him and earned a heart-breaking smile from him. She missed those smiles.

"I don't drink all the…"

"Why are you here?" she intervened, anger still seething. Her thoughts were racing and she tried to figure out why he was there in her room.

"I needed someone to talk to Rore…" He dropped his head and concentrated on the carpet.

"So why not Summer…or one of those sycophants that follow you around all day."

"You're the only person I've ever been able to talk to."

At his words, she felt her pulse quicken and there was a sudden roaring in her ears.

"You're the only one that I ever cared about." She controlled an impulse to reach out and touch him.

The roaring picked up. He was saying things that she had always hoped he'd say. But somehow, she didn't know whether she could trust him. Years of him walking by her in school without a single word could not be erased with a few choice words. She wouldn't let it.

Tristan raised his head and locked eyes with her.

"I missed you Rory." There. The four words she'd secretly longed to hear for so long…no longer seemed enough.

"Why are you doing this?" Her words were barely a whisper. The roaring had died down.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't so much as talk to me for four years and now, all of a sudden you're taking me to your favorite haunts, waiting for me at my locker, showing up at my house in the middle of the night? Why?" She was on her feet now, eyes locked on him. Her thoughts were racing and she tried to rein in her emotions.

"I just…" he tried, also rising to his feet.

"Do you have any idea how much I missed you, how much I wished that I could have my friend back…how much…how much I wished you'd talk to me, smile at me…look at me." She was nearly in hysterics now, her words no longer a silent whisper. Tears raced down her cheeks but her eyes blazed on, lit by an internal fire that had been raging for years.

"And today, when you just walked by as if…as if, I were no one, it all just came crashing back…"

"Rore"…he began, moving towards her, features contorted in sadness.

But she stepped back, avoiding his sympathy and no longer needing his explanations.

"Don't Tristan…I'm done…over it, I stopped missing you," she interrupted and watched with twisted pleasure as something shifted in his eyes, those inhumane eyes that never gave anything away.

"I stopped missing you," she continued, wanting to hurt him as badly as he had hurt her. The gates had been released and a flood was eminent. "And I stopped needing you," she wiped at her eyes, refusing to let him see her cry. "So let's just pretend that this never happened and you can go back to your life and I'll go back to mine…"

"I don't want to go back to that life," he interrupted, in a voice that was no longer his. "I won't."

Balling his fists, he began pacing back and forth, and she thought he resembled a caged animal.

He reached inside his jacket and once again pulling out the flask, took in a deep swig.

He wiped at his eyes and turned to her. "I still miss you," he put in before reaching to touch her cheek. She pushed his hand aside and watched as a shadow moved across his eyes.

"Don't Tristan…everything's changed now…" her words were lost as she felt his lips on hers, hungry and full of need. Deeper he moved, arms circling her waist and pulling her body as close to his as physically possible. His mouth was hard and soft at the same time, tugging at her bottom lip.

She could feel the electricity surging through her body yet she tried to push him off, knowing that it was the alcohol.

"Stop…stop it Tristan…" her words came out in a gasp as she broke away from him and moved to the wall for support.

But he closed the gap between them in seconds and once again, she found his lips on hers. As he moved into her, she felt her back connect painfully with the wall. But he was unaware of anything but her. One hand tight around her waist, the other anchored against the wall, he kissed her hard, lips hot on hers, unable to get enough.

Breaking from her lips, openmouthed kisses moving the length of her cheeks and jaw line, he moved to her neck, finally stopping to suck on a spot on her collarbone.

"Rory…" The word was guttural and full of wanting. "I missed you…I missed you so much." She wanted to believe him and for a blissful moment, she gave in, arms wrapping around his shoulders, fingers grazing the back of his neck. But as he pressed into her, the cold metal flask, still protruding from his jacket, dug into her ribs, and the moment crumbled.

Oblivious to it all, Tristan continued kissing her, lips moving back up her shoulders and hands roaming across her sides, sliding underneath her shirt, across her petite waist and pulling her tight against his body.

"Stop it Tristan…stop…" she whispered, arms coming up to push him away. As if emerging from a dream, he pulled back but still stayed close enough to hear her every breath.

"Rory, I'm…I'm…"

"Drunk?" She put in. "High? Insane? What Tristan? What?"

"…In love with you." For a second, she felt as if her knees would buckle.

"I've known it from the day we met and it killed me not having you in my life."

"You made a conscious decision to not include me in your life," Rory, trapped between exhilaration and rage, retaliated.

"I'm sorry Rory," he pleaded, and she had to turn away in order not to give into those piercing eyes.

"I thought about you…think about you all the time…about being with you…having you, just you…"

"You don't love me," she spat out. "And I don't love you." Her words hung in the air like a gunshot.

"Rory…"

"How can you love a stranger Tristan?" Despite herself, she felt the tears sliding down her cheeks.

"But we're not strangers Rory," he retaliated, taking her by the elbows. "I know you, I know everything about you. I know that your first pet was a turtle named Mr. Darcy and that you cry every time you watch Cast Away and Wilson floats away …"

"Tristan…" she moved into him, her tears now two small rivers across her cheeks.

"I know that your favorite dessert is peanut butter straight from the jar and that you're afraid of bald people." Hearing her let out a soft chuckle, he continued.

"I know that when you were four, you had a crush on Kirk…" Rory's laughter punctured his words once again…"and that you never give up on anyone.

She was practically in his arms now, and feeling her slowly slide to the floor, he slid down with her, not willing to let her go for a second. She wanted to pull away from his touch, to make him leave. But she couldn't.

Instead, she pressed her head against the crook between his neck and shoulder, hearing his racing pulse in her ear. He pulled her into him, lips moving across her forehead, eyelids, lips.

"I don't believe this is real," Rory spoke up after a few moments of silence.

"It's real," he comforted, bringing her hand to his chest, resting it on his heart.

For a few more minutes, they sat in silence, reveling in each other's company, readjusting to one another.

But the moment shattered as Tristan's watch sounded the alarm.

"Shit." He rolled up a sleeve and realizing the time, nearly jumped to his feet. "I have to go. If I'm not home…she's going to…"

Catching the look in Rory's eyes, he willed his nerves to be silent. He pulled her in and kissed her hard before pulling away and climbing out through the same window he had entered through.

Stunned, she listened as a few seconds later he gunned the engine and sped off.

---

The bus still a few stops away from Chilton, all sorts of scenarios ran through Rory's mind. Despite what he had said last night, would they go back to ignoring each other at school yet again? And if he did talk to her, what would she say? Frustrated and more frightened that she wanted to admit, she leaned her head against the cold glass window and shut her eyes.

All too soon, the driver called her stop and hesitantly, she followed a few other passengers off the bus.

He was sitting on the bench, chin resting on steepled fingers, eyes staring straight ahead. He hadn't seen her.

"Hey," she called out and a little flutter of wings erupted in her stomach as he turned to her and smiled. It was devastatingly beautiful.

"God, I missed you." He rose from his perch and pulled her into him, head falling against the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent.

Before she could respond, he'd taken her hand and was leading her towards the school. Here and there, a few students stared, clearly stunned to see the odd couple. But for the most part, the two were left alone.

---

Leaning against a wall, he waited patiently as she pulled out books from her meticulously kept locker, a soft chuckle escaping his lips.

"What's so funny?" she inquired, turning away from her books and locking eyes with him.

"You," he grinned, edging closer to where she stood, pointed look in her eyes.

"It's a gift," she put in before once again turning to her locker. He laughed before spinning her back to him and taking her chin in his hand. Then, descending his mouth to hers, he took her lower lip with his and embraced her in a soft kiss. Rising to her toes, and letting her hands wander to his back, she moved into the kiss, parting her lips and allowing the chills to wash over her. But upon recalling where they were, a Chilton hallway, she immediately pulled back.

Arm still wrapped around her waist, a finger gliding across her cheek, he smiled down at her, clearly amused by her bashfulness.

---

Making her way from class to class that morning, she couldn't help but notice the stares or the grins sent her way. She couldn't help but feel paranoid at the sound of whispers that sprang up around her or the hisses that seemed directed at her.

She knew she should have expected it; should have seen it coming. With Tristan's reputation, it was to be expected. But still…it wasn't something one could get used to. Not even a Gilmore.

Finally, needing an escape from the cold stares sent her way, along with the hushed tones that seemed to follow her around as she walked through the throngs of students, Rory settled on spending lunch in the library.

She wasn't trying to hide. It wasn't like a Gilmore to hide. She simply needed a break from the drama.

Pushing past the heavy oak doors, she stepped in to the library and embraced the calm that suddenly fell around her. The cold looks, the nonchalant laughter, and the voices all faded away, giving way to the silence that she was seeking.

Sighing to her self, she made for the spot that had now become her favorite place in the library.

Drawing her self up on to the windowsill, she pulled out her book and flipping it open, dove head first into the world of Anna Karenina, and was immediately lost in the words.

---

Half-heartedly, he laughed along to one of Duncan's stories, while keeping his eyes glued on the doors that opened up into the cafeteria. He willed for her to walk through them. He needed for her to walk through them. He'd seen the stares sent her way and heard the rumors that had started. But already halfway into their lunch hour, she was nowhere to be found. Frustrated, he rose from the table and stalked off.

---

A slight breeze crept in through the edge of the window and whipped at her hair. Distracted, she moved to tuck the strands behind her hair and through the window, noticed a familiar figure walking off towards the school parking lot.

---

"Going somewhere," she inquired, coming up behind him and lacing her fingers through his. The gesture felt natural.

He pulled her into his body and wrapped both arms around her.

"Are you okay," he asked, taking her face in his hands and she knew he was referring to the gossip mills that were running wild.

"You know I don't care what they say," she beamed up at him and found his lips on hers, soft and fiery at the same time.

After a blissful minute, the two parted and eyes still shut, she smiled up at him.

"You want to go somewhere with me?" he questioned and she opened her eyes to meet his gaze.

Having never skipped class before, she wanted to say no. But the cloud that moved across his eyes at her hesitation quickly had her reassessing her decision.

"Sure," she answered, and watched as that beautiful smile lit up his features.

---

Hey everyone, as promised, I tried to put up this chapter within a week.

I know our dear Tristan is a little Jekyll and Hyde at the moment, but as the story progresses, you'll better understand where he's coming from. Chapter Four may have also helped clear some of the confusion regarding his fluctuating moods. Anywho, I'm thinking of posting up another Trory fic (i'm a few chapters into it) basically involving Tristan as a demon hunter...I know know, farfetched. But I've been messing around with the idea for a while and it all sort of fits.

And as always, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your reviews.