Bruce Banner did not like giving up. He liked helping people with his rusty medical skills, no matter who they were or in which conditions they lived. He liked helping the people that the rest of the people didn't help, because part of himself felt he was redeeming himself for The Hulk, one person at a time. That's why he kept trying to find an answer, a way for his patient to be cured. That's why he wouldn't leave when Tony told him to take a break, leave it alone for a bit.

No. Loki was his patient and he had a responsibility to him. He was not going to let him just waste away and stay in agony for hours and hours. He would help – wouldn't stop until he'd done some sort of improvement in the god's wretched state. He would prove everyone (and himself) once again, that there was a man and not only a monster. A man with values and a moral code. A man who had become a doctor. A healer.

He tried all the painkillers he could think of, risking even dangerous interactions. Eventually, the other two Avengers left the room to manage the situation with the outside world. Bruce just remained there, with the only company of a pale and delirious god and a bodiless voice. At first Loki didn't seem to be reacting to the meds and just thrashed on his sheets with unfocused eyes.

Until he started throwing them up, that is. The Asgardian was limp and looked incredibly fragile as Bruce cleaned the vomit. And he couldn't bring down that fever, no matter how hard he tried. It was looking quite ugly.

Eventually, and with the help of some experimental painkillers Bruce suspected were still illegal, he succeeded in calming Loki's inexplicable abdominal pains a bit. Enough that, at least, Loki could go back to sleep, to something that resembled calm. Enough to erase that expression of pain from his features, if only a bit. Happy with it, and seeing that it was already midnight, Bruce left, asking JARVIS to inform him if the vitals got worse again.

When Tony woke up he realized in a matter of seconds that he wasn't going to get anymore sleep. That he was awake for good. And it was only four in the morning. Shit. Another day in which he was going to have to function with coffee and other stimulants. And in this day he was probably going to have to deal with Fury and his agents, lecturing him, telling him what he'd done was illegal, that he was harboring a criminal, blah, blah, blah. It gave him a headache just to think about it. He asked JARVIS what his guest was doing.

They were risking a lot for him, he better not be doing anything evil.

"The guest awoke two hours ago and has been looking out of the window for the past ninety-seven minutes." The voice informed him.

Weird.

Without thinking too much about it, Tony poured a couple of drinks and headed to the infirmary. Loki still looked like hell, pale and bandaged and sweaty, the only color in his face being the slight fevered flush of his cheeks and the pale green of the weary eyes. The computer had informed him that he had slept even less than him. But at least now he was able to stand straight.

Tony appeared next to him, in front of the window. There was a nice view of New York down there, but nothing that would justify such constant attention.

"Scotch?"

Loki took the drink while trying to avoid Stark's gaze. He felt ill, weak and pathetic- not at all prepared to face the questions of an enemy.

"So… you feeling better?"

"The pain is still there, but at least now I am able to stand and think again." He said with a tired voice.

"Not happy thoughts?" Stark asked, noticing the hastily but badly wiped tear stains on the taller man. Loki just looked down. "You can tell me, if you want. Not gonna judge. I may be all heroic and nice now, but that wasn't always the case."

Loki wanted to be cold and detached, wanted to tell Stark to leave, that he didn't need his pity or his fake understanding. That he was not going to talk about his troubles with a stranger, that he was only a useless mortal. But it had been so long since someone had said a kind word to him… He wasn't foolish enough to believe that Stark cared, but maybe that was a good thing. And besides, Loki had started to fear that if he kept all these things in bottled in his head, he would lose the little sanity he had left. Not good.

So he spoke.

"I can't seem to stop crying these days. I used to be unmovable, a column. People insulted in the most hurtful ways and I just glared at them. And now…. I have become a little whining babe, unable to control myself."

Tony just sipped his scotch. He had noticed how weepy Loki had been on the SHIELD footage, but thought it was a result of the torture. Loki, apparently, didn't share his opinion.

"You think it has to do with whatever happened?"

Loki kept looking at New York. A column, just like he'd said. Only the unnatural brightness of his eyes gave away his depressive state.

"It is a protection mechanism of the mind, in Asgard at least, the blocking of memories. I wouldn't have let anybody tamper with my mind – it is the only valuable thing I ever had. But if I did something unspeakable, something that not even my mind, as corrupt as it is, could handle, then I would shut the memories out. Forget them. Forget the suffering."

"You're afraid you've killed him. Killed Thor and his girlfriend."

Loki looked at him for the first time.

"But I should be happy, shouldn't I? It's what I always wanted. Get him out of way, so people would finally see me… I thought it was what I desired for so long… But now, the thought of actually having done it, killed him with my own hands, it- it disgusts me… I… I can only weep. Pathetic."

Loki sipped his drink and kept staring at the city.

Maybe this was all a play, a way of making Tony be sympathetic. Or maybe it was not, and the alien was talking because he was out of place, out of time, and he hadn't had a friendly ear in god knows how long.

Tony felt he was starting to see now many things about the crazed alien, about his motives. About who the guy really was behind the mockery and the threats. And he was in a bad place.

"There's other reasons for blocking memories, too." Tony said. "Maybe you didn't do something that broke your brain, maybe you just witnessed it. Or maybe something particularly horrible was done to you. Ever thought of that?"

Loki did not answer, lost in his thoughts, feeling useless. He didn't know what to do with himself. His body was in agony and his mind was in shambles. He was at the mercy of enemies who could turn him back to interrogations any moment they wanted. Thor's allies. What would happen if he was right and Thor was no more? He would spend the rest of his sorry life trapped in this planet, imprisoned, in the worst conditions imaginable, surrounded only by hate and repulsion, and by the knowledge that there wasn't a soul on the whole nine realms that did not want his death. He sighed again.

"If it is not much to ask, Stark, could you direct me to a bath?"

"Sure."

The millionaire took him to an enormous bathroom and told him to ask JARVIS if he needed anything else.

The bath was quite easy to operate, and Loki was soon immersed in perfumed water. He would've fallen asleep if it wasn't for the voice on the walls, that advised against it, due to possibility of drowning. Well, at least it would have been a nice way to go. And he would have left a very clean body for the Avengers to find.

It was still dark in New York when he got out. It was one of the best things for him, having windows, a world outside his torment. But the pain threatened to be back, never relenting. He hardly remembered those days when he was whole, even if they were only a couple of months prior.

He closed his eyes. He was just so tired.

"What have I done to deserve this life, JARVIS?" He asked, because JARVIS was a machine, and it wouldn't judge." Will I have to spend my last days in an unfriendly planet, pretending to be who I am not anymore and forever suspecting the motives of every person that does not torture me?"

"I can't answer you that, but I can direct you to the medication that Banner used and seemed to have some effect on you."

Loki thanked the voice and injected himself with the drug. He knew that probably his body would become used to it and be rendered useless but he could enjoy the calming effect while it lasted. With the help of JARVIS he prepared some tea, glad to taste something that was not disgusting, for the first time in months.

At six am, the Captain appeared and an awkward silence spread in the room. They didn't know what to do, how to behave. There was still an aura of suspicion in the soldier's eyes and Loki couldn't blame him. He was a criminal, after all. He had possibly killed one of his beloved team-mates. There was no reason for him to be trusted, or even liked.

His thoughts went back to his not-brother. Oh, if he would show his oafish face in the building then he'd be able breathe much better. You should be glad you've killed him. A voice in his head said. Not sorrowful. Nobody would shed a tear if you passed, he reminded himself, they would celebrate, even these mortals. They had rescued him but now he felt like a burden.

With the morning came more people, more awkwardness and more questions. Loki still looked like a walking corpse and had a dangerous fever, but at least he was more aware of what was going on around him. Even if the uncertainty was quite terrible, at least now there were no more enormous mirrors, no more chains no more interrogations. Not that pity and condescension were much better, but at least now he had tea.

The Avengers were wary around him – there was a strange tension mixed with pity.

Tony wasn't a big fan of this situation, so he decided to change it. The Avengers couldn't trust Loki – not a single word he said, with his history, and the alien was in some sort of personal hell not knowing what had happened. Not knowing how he'd ended up here. Not knowing what he'd done, what terrible thing he could have done to break his mind. So he decided to find a solution.

The solution was coming in the elevator as Bruce and Steve talked in hushed tones and Loki looked at his tea, lost in his thoughts. Tony greeted the man as he came out of the elevator and introduced him to the rest.

"Guys, let me introduce to Professor Xavier – he's going to help us with our little Loki situation."

Steve looked confused.

"How?"

"Guy's a mind-reader. Thought he could give us and him some piece of mind if he could a) confirm us that Loki doesn't remember shit b) maybe see whatever's left in his mind, blocked or not, of what happened before or c) tell us that he's actually a dickhead faking the whole thing."

"I can speak for myself, Mr. Stark." Xavier said from his wheelchair, with a chastising tone. He introduced himself to the Avengers and then moved on to Loki.

The man looked terribly sick, but there was still a very proud expression on his face, in the way he carried his body, almost… royal. Loki looked at the stranger, suspicious but welcoming. He seemed intelligent. And if he helped clear the fog of his mind, make some sense of the flashes that were his only memories of the recent future, then he was more than welcome.

"Hello, Mister Odinson."

Loki shook his head, strongly. He was no son of Odin – it all had been an illusion- and Odin had become his main torturer.

"Call me Loki." He muttered, darkly. His voice was a bit cracked and he wondered if he had screamed in his brief hours of sleep. The older man drew a small smile.

"Loki, then. I hear you've been having trouble with your memory." The other man nodded. "Will you let me help?"

"Do whatever necessary."

Stark had introduced this man as a Professor, and if there was something that Loki respected, it was knowledge.

Xavier put his hands near Loki's head, each hand close to each temple, closed his eyes and got into the other mind. It was incredible – it was unstopping and vast as the universe. It was numbers and formulas, spells and laughs, it was spacewalking and being bullied, it was books, it was looks, it was being defeated, it was Thor, it was shape shifting and being women, animals, it was hurt, it was being rejected on the edge of an abyss… Absolute chaos. In all his years going to other people's minds, Xavier had never experienced like this. He opened his eyes.

"Try to concentrate on your memories, Loki. Focus on what happened between New York and appearing here. Can you do that?"

Loki nodded silently.

Xavier saw a blur of memories – mostly torture and him being called many bad names. Not exactly what they were looking for, but the professor couldn't blame him, when one's mind is filled with sickness it's difficult to concentrate. Especially when you're supposed to focus on a blank. But through it all, the professor saw flashes, bits, very blurry bits of Asgard.

There was Loki, almost passed out on a pool of blood. But whose blood was it?

There was Thor and a woman, fighting – and suddenly they were screaming his name - Loki!- with terrible urgency.

There was a one-eyed man telling him he would pay for what he'd done and there was rage.

And then the scene changed completely and Xavier saw something that shook him to the core. This changed things in a way he had not expected. His eyes widened and Loki tilted his head backwards, sick to his stomach.

"You saw nothing, old man. Nothing." He said, and his voice trembled – badly.

"Loki, I'm so sorry, if you had-" But he was cut off by Loki's screaming.

"Don't you dare pity me! That was not true! Not true! Only the lies of a lying mind! Do not dare think otherwise! I chose it! All of it! It was my doing… my doing…"

And he stormed off, swaying, not wanting to break down on front of the others. He could feel the tears in his eyes and the pain slicing him again. No one was supposed to see that. No one was supposed to know that.

The rest of them looked at the mind-reader, not knowing if they should be curious or scared.

"What the hell was that about?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, what did you see, sir?" Steve asked. "Was something about Thor?"

The professor was still shocked and looked down, trying to stomach what he had seen, but he answered.

"It was about the invasion, about New York… It seems things were much more complicated than we initially thought."

A/N: As usual, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

Here you have little bits of plot, emotional whump, a twist, and Loki and JARVIS being kinda friends because britishness.

Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are very much appreciated ;)