AN: So, this chapter didn't turn out at all the way I was expecting it to the first time around, and then it didn't turn out exactly the way I expected this time around either, but whatever, I'm happier with it this way than the way I had planned, haha.
Disclaimer: Anything that you recognize from somewhere other than this story does not belong to me. Anything you recognize exclusively from this story, I do own. And anything that is completely random and new and doesn't make any sense? Well, we'll just blame that on the muses. ;) enjoy!
I felt oddly relaxed for the rest of the day, even during the quizzes, when they usually stress me beyond measure. I was no longer as irritated by Jareth sitting next to me in classes, despite some of the rather less than pleasant things I said to him. At one point, during English, I looked up to find him watching me. Unable to help myself, I blushed and turned away, but I could have sworn I saw him smile as I did. After class, Mr. Dirksen asked me to stay for a moment, telling Jareth to inform my teacher that I might be a little late. Jareth nodded and winked at me before leaving the room, making me blush a little.
"Yes, Mr. Dirksen?" I asked politely.
"I just wanted to thank you for being such a good sport about knocking him into shape. I'm sure that if it weren't for you, he would have 'F's all through the year."
I laughed, "Oh, believe me; it wouldn't be because he doesn't know the material…"
He looked at me slightly puzzled, "what do you mean?"
"Nothing, it's just that he finishes the homework faster than I do."
Mr. Dirksen looked speechless, "is that so?"
I laughed again, "Yea, sir, it is. I was surprised, too. I gotta go to class, though, so if you are done with me, I suppose I will see you tomorrow?"
He smiled kindly at me, "Yes, Williams, you may go."
"Kay thanks! Bye!" I tossed over my shoulder as I left the room.
The rest of the day passed mostly in a blur, except for a few moments during each period when I would look up and find myself being scrutinized by piercing, mismatched eyes, causing me to blush and look away quickly as my mind involuntarily snapped to the night before and the crystal in my backpack. When the day was over, I headed home, wondering why I had to like such an arrogant bastard. I sighed as I opened my door, thanking the gods that it was the weekend so that I could sort out my feelings in relative peace.
As usual, I pulled up two chairs and got out twice the amount of supplies before opening my book to the proper page. I listened for a knock on the door and was puzzled when I didn't hear one. Shrugging, I started to work, positive that he was just running late. A few minutes later, I stopped, wondering why he wasn't here yet. Shaking my head, I forced my attention to my work, but couldn't help glancing up at the clock every few minutes until finally, I gave up trying to concentrate and sat back, genuinely worried about him. From what I knew of him, he wasn't just the kind of person to ditch on someone without telling them… even if he never stated that he would be coming over every night, it had become a ritual of sorts in the last few days and now that it had stopped, I couldn't help but be a little worried. What could make him this late, I wondered, glancing at the clock and noting that it was almost forty-five minutes past the time he usually got here.
"Calm down, Sarah," I muttered to myself, "he's probably just doing some kind of workshop or after school sport or something…" Why then, did I feel as though he wasn't okay? Was I just looking into this a little too much? I needed to call Les… she would tell me what the hell was going on…
Deciding, I picked up the phone and dialed Leslie's cell number.
"Hey, girl, what's up?" she answered.
"Don't laugh."
"Ummm… Okay?"
"I'm sitting here alone, doing homework and I can't concentrate because I am worried…" I mumbled.
"Oh, that's adorable. And you said you hadn't fallen for him!"
I growled.
"Alright, alright. Calm down. Is it the kind of worry where you just get out of routine and then feel like you're missing something? Or is it the worry you had that day in grade school when you came to find me and I had broken my ankle?"
I tried to remember what that worry had felt like, "no…" I said slowly, "it's not either of those… it's more the second one, but I don't have that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's almost like he's not HERE, I mean, in this… reality?" I finished weakly, knowing how weird that sounded.
"Oh, Sarah, if you don't have a sick feeling, he's probably just somewhere running an errand or stuck in a conversation he doesn't want to be in," she soothed.
"For forty-five minutes?" I asked, skeptical.
"Remember Ollie?"
I grimaced, "Yea, I remember Ollie."
Ollie had been someone in high school who could drag you into a conversation no matter how hard you tried to avoid one. Once you were caught, the only way to get out was to wait him out (nearly impossible, I only managed it once and Leslie was with me) or to fake an emergency. You know that cheerleader that blabs on and on about her nails? That would be a girl version of Ollie. It was awful.
"So, what do I do?" I asked.
She sighed and I could hear laughter in her voice, "Well, since you really can't concentrate, if I were you, I would take a break off from homework and do it when he gets there, probably tomorrow. It's up to you, though. Good luck, girl, I gotta go. Love ya!"
"Thanks, love you too, Les," I sighed, hanging up the phone. I left the homework out and went to grab the crystals. I set them out on the carpet, laid down in front of them and tried to figure out which was which. Oddly, I could pick out the one from the kiss easily, but the rest were a mystery. I lightly brushed my fingertips over one of them and the words from the first night floated through my head. I reached out to touch a second one and heard lyrics, different from before.
"As the pain sweeps through,
Makes no sense for you.
Every thrill is gone.
Wasn't too much fun at all,
But I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down."
I recognized it immediately as the third verse and could hear it in my head, playing while a feeling of security swept over me. I closed my eyes, and drifted to sleep curled on the floor with the crystals,
I was in the ballroom again, but this time, I had to find him and every time I caught a glimpse of him, someone dragged him away. I stood there, all alone in the middle of the room and I began to notice the faces around me for the first time. They were cruel, almost as though they knew what I was doing and were mocking me for it. I searched frantically for Jareth, but I couldn't find him anywhere. The people were advancing on me, surrounding me, jeering at me. I started to push at them, but they pushed back and before I knew it, I was on the ground and shoving at the hands that grabbed at me. The hands stopped, my vision cleared and I saw Jareth standing there. I realized that it was him grabbing me, trying to help me and I was pushing him away. He had stopped, but the look of sorrow on his face was too much to bear as he turned around and walked away. I knew in that moment that he had given up on me, stopped trying to save me, to comfort and love me. I began to cry, finally understanding that I could only push him away so much before he stopped trying to reach me. The people around me began to smirk, and then to snicker, then they were all laughing at me and I lay there on the floor, positive that Jareth would hate me very soon, if he didn't already.
"Sarah, Sarah, Sarah!" the voices mocked.
"Sarah! Sarah, wake up!" I felt someone shaking me awake. I couldn't help the sobs that escaped me as I realized that the reason Jareth hadn't come over as usual was that he had given up on me. In the moment I realized I wanted to try us out, he decided I wasn't worth it anymore. Why?
"Jareth…" I whimpered, "I'm sorry…"
"Sarah! Come on, pet, wake up! I'm right here!" the voice penetrated my head, then the scent. I forced my eyes open and found myself upright in the arms of a very worried looking Jareth.
"Jareth?" I whispered.
"What is it, luv?" his face looked concerned and relieved.
"You gave up on me…" I whispered brokenly.
The expression on his face turned pained, "Not yet, precious."
The fog in my mind started to clear and I began to separate dream from reality. Leslie had said he was just running an errand… He was here now. There was something I needed to tell him, something about him giving up…
"Jareth. I had another dream… about you."
He just looked at me for a moment.
"I was in the ballroom, but this time I couldn't find you. I was looking everywhere, but every time I would reach you, you would get pulled away. The people around me were jeering at me and I began to push at them to get through, but they just pushed back. Someone pushed me down so that I fell and I think I blacked out for a second, because the next thing I knew, I was pushing hands away from me, with my eyes still closed. Suddenly, the hands stopped and as I opened my eyes, I realized that the hands had been yours."
I began to cry again, "you had such a deep look of sorrow on you face and I knew in that instant that I had pushed you away one too many times, as you turned and walked away. I'm so sorry, Jareth…" I closed my eyes, sobbing again, "I am so sorry that I push you away again and again. I'm just so scared. I don't know what the weird feelings are that pop up whenever you're in my presence or thoughts.
"And you are in my thoughts, almost constantly. When you aren't here, I can't help but wonder where you are, what you are doing. I am more connected to you than I am to anyone, including Leslie. When something majorly bad happens to Leslie, I know something isn't right. When you were gone earlier, something very mild, I knew you were irritable, and I thought maybe it's me you were mad at. I don't understand what any of this is, but the thought of you giving up on me…" I went limp, the determination gone, "it kills me…"
I felt his arms tighten on me and realized that that was the longest speech I had ever given him.
"Sarah," he said, "Sarah, look at me, luv." His fingers cupped my chin in the next moment and I knew that I had no choice but to open my eyes.
He was staring into my eyes as soon as I opened them and I could see something in them, something that although I didn't recognize it, brought an answering emotion bubbling up in my eyes. His breath caught and he pulled me in closer, brushing the tears from my cheeks, "I am not mad at you, I have not given up on you, and no matter how often you push me away, I will always try one more time."
With that, he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine, bringing my mind only to thoughts of him. I couldn't help it when my eyes closed and I sighed as heat ran through me, starting where his lips made contact with my own and radiating outward to cover every inch of my skin. His mouth left mine after only a few seconds, but as I opened my eyes, I could tell that it had affected him the same way it had me. His wrapped his arms around me and I felt carefree for the first time since I fell asleep in them.
Unable to help myself, I began to sing softly, "There's such a sad love, deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel, open and closed, within your eyes. I'll place the sky within your eyes. There's such a fooled heart, beating so fast, in search of new dreams, a love that will last, within your heart. I'll place the moon within your heart. As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you, every thrill is gone, wasn't too much fun at all… but I'll be there for you—ou—ou as the world falls down. Falling… as the world falls… falling in love. I'll paint you mornings of gold, I'll spin you valentine evenings, though we're strangers 'till now, we're choosing the path… between the stars, I'll lay my love… between the stars. As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you, every thrill is gone, wasn't too much fun at all… but I'll be there for you—ou—ou as the world falls down. Falling… as the world … falling… falling… As the world falls down…. Falling… falling….falling… Falling in love… as the world falls down… falling… falling… falling in love… as the world falls down… makes no sense at all… makes no sense at all. Falling. As the world falls down… falling. Falling. Falling in love… as the world falls down. Falling. Falling in love… falling in love. Falling in lo-ove. "
I noticed that his arms had tightened around me almost painfully and I knew that somehow, that song meant something to him, something beyond the words themselves. Maybe it was the fact that I had finally trusted him with it. He looked down at me, his gaze penetrating into my soul, and I felt something overpower me. It felt as though I had been laid open in front of him and he had seen everything there was to see about me, as though he was a part of my essence. I couldn't help but shiver a little at the sensation.
"Oh, Sarah…" he murmured, "You have no idea what you just did, do you?"
I shook my head, still reeling.
"Of course you don't," he replied, "It's time to get you to bed, come on. It's been a traumatizing day for you."
I felt him lift me in his arms and carry me to my room before sitting me on my bed. He crouched down and slipped my shoes and socks off, then stood and took off my jacket and necklace, looking at it for a moment before setting it aside.
"Do you have pajamas?" he asked, gently gesturing at my clothes.
I shook my head.
"Would you like to sleep in that?" he asked.
I looked down, and then shook my head before I had time to overanalyze. I didn't want to sleep in these clothes and I was still too shell-shocked to get ready for bed on my own, so I might as well let him help. I knew he wouldn't try anything. He stepped close again and reached slowly for my belt buckle, undoing it and slipping my jeans off before moving to my shirt. His fingers began to undo the buttons and then he stopped.
"Sarah, where are your shirts?"
I stared at him for a moment and pointed at my dresser. He touched a drawer and I nodded, so he pulled out an over-sized t-shirt and walked back over. His fingers began to work on the buttons again and he slipped the shirt off, his eyes on my face the entire time. I slipped my arms into the shirt and he pulled it down over me until it fell to mid-thigh. I reached up and pulled my hair out of the collar, automatically. He lifted me into a standing position again and pulled the covers down. Then he settled me on the sheets, pulled the blankets up to my chin and turned to leave.
"Stay," I whispered, "please," unsure of what was still happening. He paused in the doorway before taking another step and I felt an odd pain in my chest for a moment, almost like rejection. Immediately, he spun around and walked back to the bed, sitting down on the edge and reaching out a hand to stroke my hair. I freed my arms from the covers and held them out, inviting him in. I knew he was hesitating and tears welled to my eyes as I dropped my arms down, sure that I screwed up earlier; usually I was the one shunning physical contact.
"What am I to do with you, pet?" Jareth sighed, shrugging out of his coat and kicking his boots off, leaving him in jeans and a t-shirt. He slipped onto the bed in front of me, laying on top of the blankets and gathering me into his arms, "I won't leave. Go to sleep, luv."
Finally giving into exhaustion, I fell asleep to the sound of Jareth humming a song that vaguely brought back memories of a room full of stairs.
AN: What did you think? Some people were saying put a major memory in there, but I figured that this would work better. Who can guess what happened there? Anyone? Anyone? Put your guesses in a review! I'd love to hear some theories! (and I refuse to be one of those authors that says "review or else you'll have to wait." so don't let that stop you!) It'll probably be a little while before the next chapter is up, like I said, this threw off my entire outline for at least a few more chapters. See you guys next time! (or in a review, *cough cough* hint hint) ^_^ thanks for reading!