Nathan laid back against the warm sand, letting his dark hair fall across his eyes. When he had come back to North Carolina after seeing Peyton, he had made a decision to make his marriage with Haley work. They'd hit a rough spot when he signed his professional contract, one that included something he had never been able to fully forgive his wife for.
There was something about walking in on your wife after having drunken sex with her best friend – your brother – that was hard to get out of your mind. Haley and Nathan had gotten into a huge fight the morning he flew out to California for a last minute meeting with his new manager. Things had been bad between them for awhile, and she had told him not to come home to her when he came back to Tree Hill. He found out later that Peyton and Lucas had gotten into a terrible argument over the phone. Both Lucas and Haley had been sure that their relationships were over and were only seeking comfort in each other. It wasn't finding them together that really killed Nathan, though he had to admit that it hurt. It was seeing the way Lucas held Haley when it was over. He'd seen that Lucas had the one thing that Haley needed most – trust.
It had taken a lot of time for the two of them to work to where they could have a relationship again, but Nathan had been able to find a way to live with Haley again. He had to do it for the sake of their son, even if he still remembered every detail of that horrible night perfectly. It was the last time he had spoken to Lucas, despite his brother's and wife's attempts at getting through to him. He had cut his brother out of his life because he needed to make a new beginning. He thought that if he left everything else behind, he would be able to forgive her.
Sinking further into the sand, Nathan closed his blue eyes and allowed an image of a curly-haired blonde to flood his mind. He welcomed her comforting memory as he pushed everything about Lucas and Haley out of his head. It had been awhile since he had been able to go back to Los Angeles, but he was suddenly missing the west coast more than ever. When he came back to Tree Hill determined to make his marriage work, he had tried his hardest to leave that night in L.A. Little had he known, Peyton would haunt him wherever he went.
Since coming home, he had spent countless hours hear in front of the beach house, just looking up at the clouds. He'd wade out into the water down by the shore some afternoons, remembering their last swim together in the hotel pool. It didn't really matter what he was doing as long as he was near the ocean, in front of the beach house and staring up at those clouds. He always told himself that Peyton was doing the same thing when he went there. It was their way of being together without really being able together. It was the only thing that was safe enough for either of them to handle.
Quickly, he sat up and took the photograph back from his pocket. He admired the gentle curve of her neck, the twinkle in her wide green eyes and the mysterious smirk behind her bemused smile. He thought about the way Peyton would always moan against his mouth when he kissed her. He thought about the way she would nibble on his ear when they woke up in the morning and she wanted some. He thought about the way her hip fit just right against his, and he thought about the way she couldn't help but smile whenever she said his name. He just thought about Peyton. Looking up at the clouds again, he sent a message into the breeze that had kicked up a few seconds before.
"Think of me as I think of you," he implored Peyton across the smiles. "Love me as I love you."
He felt silly doing such a thing, but that was the way Peyton had always made him feel. She had always been able to crawl under his skin and turn him back into the babbling junior too nervous to ask the head cheerleader out on a real date. No one knew how nervous he'd been when he'd taken her to that party on their first date. They'd only seen the cocky façade he'd put on for the rest of the world. But Peyton, she'd seen right through it. She had admitted to him weeks later when they were settling comfortably into their relationship that she liked that side of Nathan. She was still the only one he had ever really see that part of him.
Wherever Peyton was right now, Nathan had no doubt that he was on her mind. He could feel her there with him. Taking his phone from his pocket, he dialed her number from memory.
"Hey," she answered as though she was expecting his call.
Nathan exhaled a long breath he hadn't known that he was holding in at the sound of her voice. "I need to see you."
The silence between them is palpable, and for just a moment, Nathan allows the fear to creep back in. And then he hears it, a long exhale mimicking his only minutes before. He can feel it, the same way she is affected by it. "I know," she retorted finally before peace settled over them both, a feeling neither had felt in far too long.