A/N: Yeesh, I'm looking back at that last chapter and cringing at how badly written it is. I messed up all my tenses and there's tons of other mistakes. Hopefully I stick with present tense this chapter. I'm sorry. Also I'm sorry for the Zoolander reference.
AAALSO just to let you guys know, pretty much all references will be "American" references. This story won't have anything Japanese related. I know that technically the characters are Japanese, but I feel more comfortable writing it this way.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
After lunch, I killed an hour or two in the library just to avoid going back to my room. I didn't have much to do, so I mostly just goofed around on the computers and looked at book titles. I found nothing interesting; most of the books were for reference. However, I did pick out a poetry book after reading only a single poem from it, and then pat myself on the back for branching out my interests. I also picked out a random mystery novel – I have no idea what it is, but random picks have worked out in my favor before. I'll give it another shot.
I know I have to go back, so I make the short walk from the library to Flick Rush dorm as slowly as possible. What do I do, what do I say to Roxas? A thousand different scenarios pop into my head. I'm not even sure what happened, really, and I'm not sure if I'm sorry. I'm really only sorry that Roxas is mad at me, but I don't think I did anything wrong. Maybe I'll get lucky and he won't be there, or he'll break the ice, though I doubt it. He never does. I'm not even sure if it really would be better if he wasn't there – I gotta talk to him eventually.
Front door, swipe card key. I am very nervous for some reason. Unfortunately I am on the first floor, so there's nowhere to run. Was that even a fight? Now I am hoping he really won't be there. I think it is because Roxas and I have never really argued before, and if we have, we were always alone, in the same room. It seems to make all the difference that other people are involved now. Before we would have thought this was ridiculous. This is still just ridiculousness plus people, nothing more.
With that in mind, I swipe the key card again, opening my door.
I prayed two prayers, one for Roxas to be there and one for him not to be there, and the prior one was answered.
Roxas laid there on his bed nonchalantly, typing away at his laptop, headphones in ears, barely sneaking a glance at me. I go to my side of the bed (less than quietly). He still ignores me. But I'm still pretty ballsy, and seeing him in person isn't as scary as the vision in my head.
"Roxas." I say.
A little louder. "Roxas."
"Roooxas."
"Roxa-"
"What?" He says finally, less annoyed than I expected.
"Oh." Suddenly on the spot, I'm not sure what to say. "Well that..." That was what? "That was kind of a train wreck, huh?"
He looks up from his laptop and over to me, and actually smiles. "Yeah it was." He takes out his headphones and throws himself back on his bed, arms spread out. I sit up against my wall and debate whether or not to say something, and then decide I should.
"Roxas, I'm sorry, I guess, Tidus told me you guys were doing lunch and-"
"What?" He interrupts, looking surprised and and angry at once. "What, no Sora, don't be sorry, there's nothing to be sorry about. I was acting like a prick. I should have just told you... sorry."
"Told me what? That you didn't want to eat lunch with me? It's not really that big of a deal anyway."
He sighs like he's annoyed. "Sora, it's not that I necessarily didn't want to eat lunch with you. I just wanted to introduce Axel just to you on a separate occasion – you're not going to understand it, but I'm trying to kind of... grow my own wings here." He makes a flapping motion with his hands that looks kind of silly to me. "And you're my best friend, obviously. I can't really explain it myself, but I just didn't want to introduce him to you like you were just a part of the regular group."
I am so confused, and make him aware I am. "I don't understand that reasoning at all, dude."
It almost sounds like Axel is his girlfriend or something... which would make him his boyfriend. Roxas never struck me as gay. Is he gay? I wonder if he'll be offended if I seriously ask him. He probably shouldn't be; after all, he's pulled the same crap on me tons of times.
"So Axel is your boyfriend, or something?"
Roxas stares at me wide-eyed for a moment, then starts to laugh, and I wait for him – not knowing if he's laughing at what I said or if he's laughing as some kind of defense mechanism. I try to maintain a serious composure, ready to tell him that I accept him for whatever he is or whoever he fucks or loves, but his response is making it hard. His laughing goes on for another fifteen seconds or so.
"Sora," he hitches out, "no, ha, I'm not gay – but good job for trying to turn the tables on me. Almost."
Though I pretend to be annoyed, I am happy because it seems the tension has broken a little. I reach for the laptop on my desk and pull it over to my lap, open it and do the usual checking of social media.
"But..." He says after a few minutes, "I want to let you know, I am pledging for Axel's frat."
I look up at him, but his face is turned back toward his computer, a Roxas way of not wanting to talk about the subject anymore. I won't let him get away with just that.
"Why?" I know it will be a chore for him to explain – explicating anything is a chore for him.
He takes only one ear bud out this time. "Because I want to meet new people. I want to be part of something. It's not that I don't love you anymore, I know that's what you're thinking. We are still gonna be together a lot of the time, I promise. But I like the guys in this group." He puts an earbud back in. "Maybe you should even think about joining the frat, or any frat."
As if I would ever do that. It's not that I wouldn't like a big group of friends, but I can have those without having to earn anyone's respect by humiliating myself. The thing that bothers me about any group like that – any really tight sports group, or sorority, fraternity, cult, or club, is the idea that I could never leave to explore different things and meet new people. There's too much security. Too much exclusiveness. I like people too much to be held down by that much selfishness. And way, way too much begging for companionship. That would be below me.
Still, Roxas doesn't seem like he's begging too much himself. What I can see from Axel, he seems like he's being accepted, and they seem to like him. And that's all that matters. I should be happy for him.
"Roxas," I say loudly enough for him to hear me. He turns his face slightly towards me, but doesn't take his eyes from the screen. "I'm happy for you dude." I say, and then he does look at me. "Seriously. If you like them, that's fine with me. Just don't let them screw you over, and don't forget me."
He smiles reassuringly at me, "Don't worry. Neither of those things are gonna happen." he says. And that's good enough for me.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This Thursday morning at 9 AM, I don't go to the cafeteria. This time I go to the student union building, where they are selling delicious bacon egg and cheese sandwiches, which I have to pay money for, but that's okay because again, they are delicious. There is no one with me either, which is okay, because I have eggy bacon and cheese to keep me company.
I feel as though I am starting to know the people around me without actually knowing them. I recognize that some of them are freshman, but most of the people sitting at the tables (which are a lot less than in the cafeteria) are upperclassmen, and I've seen all walking around campus. Actually, I notice Yuffie, who was my tour guide when I came to visit last year, sitting across the room. As some people have that uncanny ability to sense people looking at them, she lifts her head up and waves to me. I wave back, and her friend who has blonde dreads looks up and waves too with a grin on her face, even though she doesn't know me. Sometimes I can't believe how great the people are here. Their kindness just makes me warm inside.
I take a bite into my sandwich – you'd expect it to taste greasy and processed, but no. These are wonderful. I might consider asking the chief how she makes it. Just awesome. It's a perfect way to start my busy day, and I have a lot to do. I have English (that one class I dread), history to 1850, weather and environment, then I have to go to the gym and a few other things. I also have to write an essay tonight for tomorrow and suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"Hey," an unfamiliar voice says from behind me.
I start to turn but he already sits down in the chair across the table. It's that guy that was looking at me that day in the cafeteria, the one without the mullet. His silver hair is tied back into a pony-tail and he's wearing a very expensive looking white and yellow vest. He looks like a hollister model; it's a little intimidating, i'll admit. He's got these really green eyes that stand out from the rest of his face. What is it with these frat guys being really, really ridiculously – objectively – good looking?
Lots of weird surprises lately. Why is he talking to me?
"Uh, hey." I say, unsure of how to present myself to him.
"How are things for you?" He asks. Although I can't place what, there is something weird about how he is asking me. Like he's asking me about something specific. I think someone would usually say, "what's up?" or the like.
"Uh, good. Yeah, you?"
"I'm fine, but I wanted to see how you were liking things so far with us." His eyes were trained on me and there's really no way to read this guy, unless he's really just that bored that there's nothing there. What's 'with us' supposed to mean anyway? The college? This guy is weird.
"Uh, yeah. Traverse is great, I really like the people here." I say, mustering up my best socially-conscious half smile.
"You know," he says smirking, "you don't have to quiet yourself that much just because I'm your superior. I like to hear feedback."
Superior? "Uh..." I search my head for a response, and before I can think about a better one, I blurt out, "Geeze, I think you need to check your ego. Just because you're an upperclassmen doesn't make you my damn boss." I bite out with probably a little more sting than I intend. Though I try, I can't really control the heat that's flowing to my face right now, and I don't know if it's out of anger or embarrassment of this situation.
I almost chuckle because he eyes are so wide you'd think I slapped him. And then his face contorts into this sort of 'angry father' look that I can't really describe otherwise. Instinctively, I feel the need to apologize. "Uh, sorry, I'm just-"
"Where do you get the balls to talk to me like that, pledge?" He barks, and before I can even process the situation, he takes my bacon egg and cheese out of my right hand and smashes it on the table, squishing it for extra influence. I'm so startled I can't even get words out. The bang he made when he brought it down freaks me out so much that my other hand is now shaking underneath the table. I gulp in attempt to bring saliva back into my mouth. Pledge? Does he think i'm pledging? Strange enough, as I look around, I can see that no one is really looking over here. I thought his voice, or at least the bang, would have been enough to attract attention. I guess Yuffie doesn't want to come save me.
He leans back casually, wiping little grains off of his hand, and smirks more menacingly this time. "You'll see that I'm the guy leading this, if I even let you get far enough to. Maybe I will if you give me a really convincing apology." He waits there, while my mouth is half open in shock, as if I will actually give him one.
As the saliva does eventually return to my mouth, I'm starting to realize what he's thinking. "You don't think i'm pledging for your fraternity, do you?" And as his face twists from cocky to confused, my suspicions are confirmed.
"You're Roxas, aren't you?" He asks, brows furrowed. The look and the question actually does force me to laugh this time.
"No, I'm Sora. It's okay, people mix us up a lot. We look a lot alike." I try to send a reassuring smile. He still seems like he isn't processing it, and suddenly his head drops, and he starts to shake it back and forth. I may have broken him. I dumbly mutter out, "Uhhh..." unsure of what to say.
"I am so sorry." he says quietly. Suddenly his head whips upward and he stares at me intently, making me squirm in my seat. "It's just, the eyes, the hair, the height..."
"Yep, yeah, I know." I snicker, thinking of all the times we had been confused. It's really uncanny how much we do look alike; we could be brothers. I would be lying if I said we hadn't tried to play it off before. "It's happened a million times. Don't worry about it man!" Quickly I gather my backpack and get up, flashing a small smile, and attempt to book it before any more awkward apologies.
"Wait." He gets up and before I can move my legs any further, he grabs my arm in a rather aggressive way and pulls me back toward Gepetto's. He grabs another sandwich, and while still hauling me around with his sweat sticking to my skin, buys it (the cashier looks mildly worried, at least someone is), and shoves it into my other hand.
"Thanks..." I trail off. I kill a microscopic amount of time by stuffing it into my pocket, and mutter, "I'll just save that for later." We slowly walk away from Gepetto's, and I look around for a moment. The awkwardness that I was afraid of prevailing prevails. All the while he is staring at me with this very concentrated look on his face, eyes completely exposed not saying a word, while I hide behind my bangs, occasionally looking in his direction. Every time my eyes shift, I see he is still looking at me. The guys a mountain, he's probably a full five inches taller than me. I am not sure what else to do, or what move to make. There is noise around us, but in our little bubble, there is a haunting resonance of silence.
My feet shift a bit towards the doorway, and I make one last glance at him, flashing a small smile of acknowledgment, and beck on my way quickly. I don't look back as I turn the corner, but to my absolute horror I hear the footsteps of what sounds like new hundred dollar sneakers. I speed up, terribly afraid of what I know is probably him following me. I have no idea why he would be following me, though, and I am sort of freaked out – on the other hand, I don't want to give him the impression that I'm trying to run away from him, that might cause more trouble (and I don't really like to offend people). After debating the options, I decide to slow down a bit.
The footsteps slow with me. This is so uncomfortable. I see finally that he strides in step, walking up next to me, and this time does not look at me but straight ahead. Still, there is a clear intention that he wants to travel with me.
"You're not very subtle." He says quite abruptly. I assume he is referring to my escape attempt. He is doing a great job of contaminating my comfort zone.
"Well, who are you to judge me about that?" I ask with a little more confidence. "I don't even know you!"
"But I think I like your disposition." he says as if I hadn't said anything at all to his last comment. "I'm sorry if this sounds strange, but I also like the sound of your voice."
My cheeks heat up again. What a strange thing to say, and yet, I am so flattered for God knows what reason. "Uh, thanks. You're a very nice person." I say with another smile, looking to him, and when I do he looks away.
"Don't get me wrong, Sora, I wouldn't want you to think that." He says with a slight sing in his tone. "I'll see ya around."
He veers off to the left, toward some person in a black hoodie. The person, though shaded by the hood, is looking at me, but my previous company doesn't. What a strange guy.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
That night, Roxas unlocks our door.
"Uh, dude, the door locks the other way." I say. Perhaps he meant to actually do that.
"I know, I need to leave it open." He says. How vague.
"Why?"
"We might get a visitor." It bothers me when he purposely leaves out information. He knows I'm going to ask him anyway, so why not just tell me?
"What kind of visitor? And how are they gonna get into the building? Why don't you just leave it locked, then they can text you and let you know?"
"Sora," he starts, "do you have to ask so many questions?"
I huff. "Yes."
"Don't worry about it." He jumps into his bed, and turns out the lights for some reason. If he's expecting someone, it's weird that he'd turn out the lights. Something is amiss. But I don't want to bother him more.
At some point, I awake to a pounding on the door. My heart is doing dives. What the hell? It is pitch black, and as my eyes adjust to the darkness, I see that Roxas is up.
The door flies open. The light from the hallway silhouettes three figures, one who I can immediately recognize is Axel by the shape of his hair. The other two I do not recognize. They do not make much noise at first, but once they shut the door behind them, they start hollering and chanting. I have never hated a group of people so much. Checking the clock placed on the fridge, the time reads 2:09. Why in the world would they do this, at this time?
There is no light, but Axel and the other two have the wonderful decency to shine their bright mini-flashlights everywhere, including onto my face. As I am trying to process all of this, someone (I think it may be Axel) says, "Smile, Sora!" I see a flash of bright light aimed at me along with a "click" sound – and whoever said that has taken a picture of me, probably looking like an idiot.
"Cute picture." He says, and before I can reply, he's out the door, the other two holding Roxas by his hands and feet, running away with him. Everyone leaves, and I am alone again.
I don't even think about it. I go back to sleep.