As he considered Peyton's question, Nathan suddenly found himself remembering that morning two years ago.
Nathan rolled over and reached for Peyton, wanting to pull her close in what could be their last time together for months. As he stretched out his hand, all he found was empty air. Suddenly, his eyes were open in alarm as he looked around the empty room. Beside him on the pillow was a folded piece of paper with his neatly printed on the outside in her familiar handwriting.
Nathan,
We've ended this thing between us too many times, and I'm not sure that my heart could take another. This is it – we both know that it was. May Haley, Jamie and this awesome opportunity to play basketball bring you everything that you have ever dreamed of and so much more. Remember that no matter where you go, who you meet and what you do, I will be here missing you, loving you – always.
Peyton
Nathan had crumpled up the paper as surprising tears flowed freely down his face. He had never cried over Peyton in the past. It was true, they had both known what last night was, but he wanted them to have more. He wanted to come back to Peyton, like he had before when they were young. At the very least, he wanted to have a proper goodbye, but she had been too scared to even give him that. He knew that to Peyton, it looked like he had given her everything that he had and it still wasn't enough.
A half-hour later, he sat in the backseat of a taxi as it cruised down a palm-tree lined street toward LAX. He looked at every building, every park bench, every streetlight, trying to take it all in. As the car paused at a stop sign, Nathan was surprised when he caught a glimpse of her. She was wearing a sage green summer dress, her shoulders draped in a soft white cardigan. A tall blonde man walked beside her, his arm wrapped causally around her waist. Sunglasses hid her clear green eyes as she stopped on the corner and turned to the man. It was Lucas. Nathan had known it before he even got a clear look at him.
Peyton turned to Lucas and said something with a sad smile as he wrapped both his arms around her and gathered her in a hug. She put her head on his shoulder and listened to him say something. Nathan tried to read his brother's lips, but they were too far away. He watched in disappointment as Peyton laughed and leaned up to kiss Lucas on the cheek. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him into the café they had stopped outside of, and Nathan's cab pulled away.
The major misconception between Haley, Lucas and Nathan had always been that he quit talking to his brother because he slept with his wife. The truth was, Nathan had stopped talking to Lucas after seeing him with Peyton that day on the corner. He'd never really figured out how Lucas had gotten back to Tree Hill in time to hook up with Haley or why he was even in L.A. in the first place. Like everything else with the situation, logic just didn't seem to pertain. Nathan knew that it was a crazy mess, the stuff of soap operas. Still, this was his life, and he had tried to do the best he could with it.
Peyton had tried to call his cell phone a dozen times in those first few weeks, but he could never find the courage to actually answer it. He was too angry, too hurt, to even listen to her voicemails. He had always felt like she had chosen Lucas over him once, and on that morning, she chose him all over again. Nathan had truly believed that Peyton loved him after their night together, but reality reminded him that it was his brother that she truly loved. She hadn't even loved Nathan long enough to wait until he was out of L.A. to see Lucas. She had only loved him enough to make up a lame excuse and make a few promises that he knew she wouldn't keep.
As the months passed and stretched out into two years, he had been able to keep her at arm's length. But as she sat next to him in the car, he knew that he couldn't do that anymore. There wasn't a way to escape. He couldn't avoid her questions. He couldn't ignore her presence. He deserved an explanation of that morning, and he was there to make sure that he got that.