Part III: Five People You Meet in Heaven
The woman in white stood before her, smiling serenely. Her hands were folded lightly before her, resting on the folds of the white gown which rippled slightly around her bare feet, even though there was no breeze. Her dark hair was worn loose, and soft curls fell about her shoulders and down towards her waist. Her voice had been clear and precise, and while it lacked the crisp formality of a Coruscanti native, there was no doubt the woman had been highly educated. Mara catalogued all of this, for she could feel, but not place, the familiarity of the woman.
It was her eyes, Mara decided, that were the most troubling. The woman had a gentle yet probing gaze, her brown eyes locking with Mara's green ones as if she could find out everything about her without needing to speak. Mara looked away.
"You said you're here to help me," Mara stated, a hard edge to her voice. "You can't help me. I am dead."
The woman smiled, showing her straight, white teeth – as if the place she was in needed more white, Mara thought with annoyance.
"Death is not an end, Mara Jade," the woman told her, with the same gentle tone. "It is a path."
Mara sighed. "Is there anyone else I can speak to?" she asked. Mara liked the direct approach – she had little time for philosophy. "You're being a little obtuse for me," she clarified.
"My apologies." The woman took a step towards her, the silver bracelets on her wrists jangling slightly as she did so. "I have been here a long time, and it has been some while since I have spoken to anyone from the other world. Most people pass directly on."
"On where?" Mara asked.
"The Force," the woman replied simply. "That is where we come from when we are born, and where we return to when we die. Where we are now is a path in between – a gateway between the other world and the heart of the Force itself."
"Oh." Mara crossed her arms. "So I'm in the universe's waiting room?"
The woman smiled again. "Something like that." She took another few steps towards Mara. "I know all about you, Mara Jade – I have watched you for some time. But you do not know me, and it is remiss of me not to introduce myself. My name is Padme Naberrie Skywalker."
Mara did not consider herself easily surprised – but Padme had done it. She looked at the woman again, the dark hair, the heart-shaped face, the deep brown eyes, and this time she saw the resemblance to Leia. And yet that was not the familiarity she had felt – no, it was the quiet grace, the gentle calm, the easy yet probing gaze – that reminded her of another Skywalker.
"You're Luke's mother," Mara stated, and Padme smiled and nodded in response. "But why?" she asked. "Why you?"
"There are few of us here, in this place," Padme explained. "As I said, most people move directly on, to the Force. But some of us linger here, and I thought it best I meet you first." Padme assessed her reaction. "I see you do not understand," she continued. "I don't blame you." Then she turned on one heel and began walking. "Follow me," she called over her shoulder, and Mara had no choice to obey.
"First?" she asked. "You mean there are others?" She saw Padme nod even though she did not answer. Then Mara made the belated connection her mind – if Padme was Luke's mother, that meant… "Is Vader here?" she asked, a hard edge forming in her voice.
Padme looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Anakin is here, yes," she answered evenly, then turned back around and kept walking. "But you're not ready to meet him yet."
Before Mara could argue or protest, the pure white of their surroundings faded, and they found themselves in a huge chamber hundreds of metres wide and so tall the end could not be seen. Thousands of compartments circled the walls, and Mara recognised it as the old Senate chambers on Coruscant.
Padme looked almost regal in the surroundings, and she tuned to Mara with a smile. "This was the Senate as I knew it," she told her. "This place can use your memories to recreate where you were the happiest," she continued by way of explanation.
Briefly, Mara thought at if she was stuck here, it would be struggle to think of any place where she had been truly happy. When she looked back at Padme, she had the unnerving feeling that the woman had known what she'd been thinking, and Mara felt her cheeks grow warm.
But if she had read her thoughts, Padme gave no other sign, and took a seat in one of the consular compartments. She crossed one leg over the other and folded her hands over her knee, then looked back up at Mara.
"You did not pass on directly for a reason," she imparted. "Because there is something tethering you to the other world. Perhaps it is simply the radiation from the orb, perhaps it is something else. But no one ends up here by accident."
Mara took a seat for herself, but whereas Padme was relaxed and contemplative, Mara sat on the very edge of her chair, back straight and hands tense on each knee. "Why are you here?" she asked.
Padme suddenly seemed sad, and it took her several moments to answer. "The day I gave birth to my children was the worst day of my life," she said eventually, her voice quavering slightly. "I had seen my husband turn to the Dark Side – turn against his friends, his brother Jedi who he had once admired and loved so much – even turn against me. I had been…injured, and the birth had been difficult. Then I saw my dear Luke and Leia, my dear children born of the love Anakin and I had for one another – I did not want to leave them." A tear slipped down Padme's cheek, but she made no move to wipe it away. "I tried so hard to stay, to will myself to live for them, but I was being dragged away – I suppose it was the will of the Force," she added quietly, but any bitterness must have dissipated long ago for there was no anger in her words. "And then I came here," she continued, "to watch - and wait."
Mara took several moments to digest what Padme had told her, moved by the woman's story. And yet, she couldn't stop herself from observing; "That sounds like a pretty horrible existence."
Padme had composed herself, and gave Mara a wry smile. "Perhaps at first," she agreed. "It seemed so unjust, that I should watch my children grow up without me, and my husband help destroy the Republic that I had served my entire life." Then Padme fixed her with a resolute gaze. "But I can never become one with the Force without them. I will wait until we can all be together again."
Mara wasn't sure what to say – such fervent love and devotion always made her uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because she had never had a family, save for the Emperor; perhaps because such emotion always felt beyond her grasp. She had been loyal to Palpatine, had loved him as a father, but it had been a falsehood. The utter sincerity of Padme's words made the life she had left behind seem bereft and worthless.
"So what do I have to wait for?" Mara managed to ask. "I don't have anybody back there."
"I can't answer that," Padme told her simply. "The Force brought you here, not I."
"So I just have to wait around, watching other people live their lives until the Force decides to accept me?" Mara asked, a hint of irritation creeping in.
"I'm sorry I do not have the answers you want, Mara," Padme said, and her regret seemed genuine. "But we are not alone here," she continued. "If you go through that door," Padme pointed to the exit of the consulate chamber, "you will meet others. Some of whom have a particular interest in meeting you."
"Are..." Mara steeled herself. "Are my parents here?" He voice sounded small and pathetic, and she winced inwardly.
But Padme's expression softened even further with obvious compassion and sorrow. "If they are, I am not aware of it. I'm sorry, Mara."
Mara shook it off with a shrug of the shoulders – that pain was so old she barely felt it anymore. In any event, she consoled herself, perhaps not knowing was the easier path.
"Many of those here are Jedi," Padme added, "They had to find their way here. It seems I am the exception, since I am not a Jedi nor did I come here based on intent. That, I believe was the work of a friend, and the Force." Padme paused for several moments, only speaking again when it was clear that Mara did not understand her meaning. "I am sure your parents would have found their way here if they had known to. I'm sure they loved you."
"That's fine," Mara answered shortly, and looked away.
There was a soft rustle of silk and the musical jangling of silver, as Padme crossed the chamber and sat beside Mara. "When I first came here," Padme imparted softly, "I missed my children so much. I used to watch them continuously – Leia swimming in the oceans of Alderaan, Luke playing in the sands of Tatooine. While it gave me comfort to know that they were both loved, it was too painful to know that I had been taken from them. The friend who helped bring me here – a Jedi by the name of Qui-Gon Jinn – taught me how visit the world I had left behind. I am not a Jedi, so I could not appear to people as strongly as he could, but it was enough to visit my little girl a few times. She could sense me there, I knew it, even if all I could do was hold her and cry a little."
"You never visited Luke?" Mara had to ask.
"I wanted to," Padme smiled sadly, and there were tears once again in her eyes. "Luke was such a dreamy little boy, his head always in the clouds. Owen Lars was a good man, but he was of the earth, not of the sky as Luke was. I'm not sure how he would have coped with Luke telling him he'd seen a ghost." Padme looked her in the eyes. "What I'm saying is that we can't always do what we want for our children, even though we love them."
Mara nodded, unsure of how to respond to that. She felt hot tears behind her eyes and blinked them away, remembering her own childhood and thinking that it would have been torturous for her parents to watch that. She was touched that Padme had shared such deep and personal memories with her, and understood her sympathy, and yet it seemed somewhat pointless. What good would it do her now?
"Thank you," Mara told her, as she rose. What else should she say? I hope Luke and Leia die soon so you can be with them? Mara really wasn't good in these situations. "If there's more people I have to talk to, I should get on with it," she said eventually, backing towards the exit.
Padme laughed, a soft musical sound that echoed through the chamber. "This is not a chore, Mara," she chided her. "This is to help you."
"What help can there be for me now?" Mara asked. "I'm already dead."
"If there is one thing I have learnt," Padme told her, "it's that we cannot know the will of the Force, or where it will take us. Your journey is not over yet."
Han stood in the entrance to the medbay, arms folded and leaning against the doorframe. There was no room for him inside, with Mara's body laid out on the sole bunk, Luke seated on a chair beside her, and Leia standing beside him, hand on his shoulder and trying in vain to talk him out of his plan.
"She's dead, Luke," she was telling him. "You can't bring her back."
"I can," Luke replied with confidence. "I can feel it, in my bones, in the Force. She's not lost completely." He turned his gaze back to Mara's body.
"Luke, please do not do this," Leia pleaded with him, and knelt by his chair. "Please."
It wasn't like Leia to beg, but then, Luke had never disregarded her in such a way before. The twins had certainly disagreed in the past, but they had always listened to and respected the other's opinion. Neither had openly defied a genuine request from the other, especially when the stakes were so high.
"I have to, Leia," he replied without looking at her. "It will work, I promise you."
"Think about this, Luke," Han called out to him. "You can't promise that."
Leia started to cry. "You're killing yourself, Luke," she sobbed. "And you don't know if you can bring yourself back."
Finally, Luke turned to her, cupping her cheek with his hand. "Have faith, Leia. I can do this. I have to do this."
Han took a step into the room. "You don't have to, Luke," he said firmly. "Mara gave her life to save all of us, to save you. Don't waste her sacrifice."
"I have to do this," Luke repeated, looking up at Han. There was a grim determination in his face and Han realised that there was nothing he could do or say to convince Luke otherwise. It was the same resolve that had convinced Luke to become a Jedi and avenge his Aunt and Uncle; to go on the near-suicide mission for the Rebel Alliance of Yavin IV rather than run away like Han; that had pushed him to redeem his father or die in the attempt. Once Luke made up his mind that was what he would do no matter the risk, or consequence.
Han grimaced, and placed his hand on Leia's shoulder, drawing her away. She stood and went into his arms easily, still weeping. "I hope you know what you're doing, kid," Han said, somewhat accusingly.
Luke turned back to Mara. "I do," he confirmed, and took her lifeless hand in both of his own. Then he drew a deep breath, his eyes fluttering closed as he went into a Force trance.
"This is madness," Leia whispered against Han's shirt.
"I know," Han replied, rubbing her back to comfort her. "But he says he can do it, Leia. He's usually right about this kind of thing."
Leia nodded and pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyes and composing herself. She reached out her hand to Luke's neck and pressed two fingers to his pulse. "It's slow," she said softly. "He's deep into the trance." She pulled her hand away and cradled her fingers as if she's been burnt.
"I'll hook him up to the support so we can monitor him," Han offered, and moved to set up the equipment. In just a few minutes, Luke's breathing became so shallow and infrequent that it was imperceptible without the machine recording his life signs. His heartbeat slowed until it barely registered.
Leia knelt on the floor beside her brother. She went to take his hand, but withdrew, not wanting to disturb his trance. Han took his place on the floor next to her, wincing as the movement stretched the blaster wound in his thigh. He placed his hands on Leia's shoulders and squeezed gently.
"Now we wait," he said softly.
Luke had never been so deep into a Force trance before. He had been to the brink a few times, to the edge between life and death, where he knew of a tear that existed between the world he lived in and the next. He had never dared go near it, but now he welcomed it, going further than he had before, the tear expanding at his will. He knew if he stayed too long it was likely he could not return, but he was certain he could find Mara and bring her back. He owed that to her, to her sacrifice.
Under ordinary circumstances, it would be impossible. But Mara had absorbed the radiation from the Ovid, and Luke hoped that enough energy still remained so her body and mind could be revived. He had forced Leia and Han to remain in orbit around Koli, hoping that the radiation had in some way tethered Mara there, enough to bring her back. He trusted in his instincts, in the Force – in Mara's strength and his own determination to defy the laws of the universe, for it was not her time to pass on.
And so he nudged at the corners of the tear, squeezing himself through and into the light.