So this one kind of has a little bit of Conner/Roy friendship fluff, haven't seen much stories with their friendship and thought it would be interesting. I figured they both have somethings in common that the rest of the Team wouldn't understand (If it wasn't clear before, this story is set after season one, but way before season two on the timeline). Also has a small reference to The Justice League Unlimited (mentions of a character that isn't shown in YJ).
I don't own YJ/JLU or any other shows/movies referenced.
Please R&R and enjoy.
Part 2: How to Fix A Superboy
Star City
1 Hour later:
Red Arrow was exhausted. He woke up early to chase a lead on the whereabouts of Speedy, the original Roy Harper, in Star City. But it turns out his lead was a dead end. After the several hour long goose chase, he decided to finally give up and headed back to the Cave to report for his temporary 'den mother' gig.
Roy was a few blocks from the nearest Zeta-Beam. He went undercover in his civilian clothes and turned off his communication ear piece and cell phone to focus on his personal mission. Since the ear-pieces were strictly for Justice League mission related communication and he was in civvies, Red Arrow called the Cave using his cell phone.
Roy turned on his phone to set up the face-time to access the visual computer communicator in the Cave's hangar. That's when he noticed he had several missed video call requests, all coming from the Cave. Roy quickly put in his earphones and requested a video call with the Cave. Captain Marvel accepted the video request on the first ring.
"Oh, Red Arrow, thank goodness." Captain Marvel said on his screen, he had a swollen nose and some minor cuts on his face. His standard perfectly gelled hair was out of place. "We've been trying to reach you for over 45 minutes."
"Why, what's wrong?" Roy asked with concern in his voice.
"I don't really know." The caped man replied. "I just came here to check on the Team, like you asked me to, and they had some kittens and I wanted to know what their names were; and they told me to ask Conner what their names were, and the next thing I know he… uh… well, he…"
"Let me speak to one of the big kids, Billy." The archer requested.
"They're right here, but they're afraid to talk to you." Captain Marvel said, motioning to his friends who hid just out of sight of the video call's camera range.
"Alright, fine. If they're going to be like that, then I want to talk to the oldest one there." Red Arrow commanded.
The other two younger troublemakers pushed the oldest troublemaker in view of their temporary den mother. The civilian attired speedster had a fat lip and a cut on his on his forehead.
"So… How's the weather in Star City?" Wally inquired nervously.
"West, I should have known." The older ginger sighed.
"Hey, it's not my fault." The younger ginger answered. "We were just clowning around. We didn't mean to break Supey."
"And just how did you break him?" The copper-haired archer finally asked.
"We kind of said a bunch of crazy things that didn't make sense and he got frustrated." The redheaded speedster confessed.
"Who's we?" Roy asked.
"Me, Robin, and Zatanna." Wally said as he pulled his friends in front of the camera feed.
Both Robin's and Zatanna's hair looked disheveled. One of the lenses on Robin's sunglasses had a large crack that was covering a black eye and Zatanna's eyeliner was smudged.
"Hey, Roy." Robin greeted with a nervous smile.
"Hi." Zatanna said in a quiet voice, looking down.
"So let me get this straight: I leave you guys alone for a few hours and you broke one of your teammates?" Red Arrow probed accusingly.
"We were just trying to have some fun." Zatanna defended.
"We didn't think he would freak out that badly." Robin supported.
"No wonder why Batman wants you all to have a babysitter." The temporary den mother stated with a frustrated sigh.
"You're not going to tell him, are you?" Robin asked anxiously; the Boy Wonder was still on probation after being grounded for 2 weeks for hacking into the Zeta Beams and changing all of the League and Team's names to Pokémon names.
"I'll have to see how bad the damage is and if I can fix it." The archer insisted. "Where is he now?"
"We were able to coax him back to his room to calm down." Captain Marvel informed the archer.
"I'll be there in a few minutes." Red Arrow promised his temporary charges "Just don't touch anything or talk to anyone until I get there."
The troublesome trio and Captain Marvel nodded in agreement, as both parties hung up.
Mount Justice:
The Zeta Beam announced Red Arrow's arrival. It wasn't until he got to the lounge of the Cave that Roy saw the real damage. The door on the refrigerator had been ripped off its hinges and was now on the couch. Some of the doors on the cabinets in the kitchen space were barely hanging on. In the living room, the shelves were bare and everything that once occupied said shelves now covered the floor and, for some reason, the TV was missing. The four battered heroes Roy spoke to moments ago were standing in the kitchen, three of them each holding a kitten.
"Where did the TV go?" Roy inquired.
"Conner's room." Wally replied.
"Please, don't tell our mentors." Robin begged.
Roy sighed, trying to think of what to do. He took a deep breath before he said anything.
"I'm going to talk to Superboy." Red Arrow announced. "Everyone clean up in here."
"What about the refrigerator?" Zatanna asked.
"Green Arrow left me his credit card in case of an emergency, if you can't fix it we'll get a new one." Red Arrow explained. "The mentors are expected back tomorrow. So I need everyone to start cleaning and fixing what you can. Now." He ordered his temporary charges as they followed his instructions.
As Roy approached Conner's room, he heard loud static coming from the other side of the door. The temporary den mother proceeded to knock.
"I don't know their names!" Conner shouted in a distressed voice, as Roy faintly heard something break in the Kryptonian's room.
"Superboy, it's Red Arrow." Roy said trying to sound diplomatic. "Open the door. We need to talk man-to-man… or clone-to-clone."
Ever since everyone found out that Roy was a clone, Roy and Conner bonded more as friends. They both had issues that no one else in the Justice League or on the Team could fully empathize with; such as Roy's identity crisis and Conner's complex relationships with Superman and Lex Luthor (his 'fathers').
Red Arrow heard the static from the other side of the door cease. Conner opened his door with a stoic expression and didn't say anything, but moved to the side to let Red Arrow enter his room before closing the door behind them. Conner went back to his bed to lie down and stare at the ceiling; while Red Arrow sat on a computer chair in the hybrid clone's room. Wolf was curled up on blanket next to Conner's bed.
"Do you mind telling me why you thrashed the Cave… and your friends?" Roy asked in a calm voice.
"Why don't you ask them?" Conner almost growled keeping his eyes glued to the ceiling.
"They told me that they were goofing around and you got mad." The ginger clone replied.
"They weren't just 'goofing around', they were mocking me!" The ebony clone retorted.
"How so?" Red Arrow asked.
"It all started when Zatanna said her kitten had a face." Superboy responded.
"Well, did her kitten have face?" Roy questioned.
"What's with everyone?" Conner asked, legitimately confused. "Yes, the kitten had a face; they all have faces. All living beings have a face."
"Not necessarily." The archer stated. "You didn't hear this from me, but rumor has it the JLA hired this guy they call 'Question' who doesn't have a face."
"That can't be possible, how would he eat?" The Kryptonian asked closing his eyes, trying to contemplate the possibility.
"I'm not sure, I never really got to see him." Roy said. "I hear he's usually in the Watchtower, but I don't go up there much."
"That must be an office rumor." The hybrid clone stated. "No one can live without a face."
"I don't know, I saw a commercial for this one documentary a while ago about a little girl born without a face." Roy countered.
"Can we please stop talking about people not having faces?" Conner almost shouted in frustration again. "This whole conversation is very disturbing."
Conner's mind was starting to overload on contradictions of everything he has ever learned; not to mention the haunting mental images of faceless people were starting to lurk in his mind.
"Right, sorry." The copper-haired clone said. "We're getting off track, anyway. So what happened after she said her kitten had a face?"
"Then they started coming up with names for the kittens and started saying their cats looked like other animals and they started giving them names of those animals like: Bunny, Otter, and Joey."
"What's wrong with Joey?" The archer asked.
"After a baby kangaroo." The Kryptonian pointed out.
"Oh." Roy acknowledged.
"But then they all said they were going to name them Kitten." Conner continued.
"How did they jump from Bunny, Otter, and Joey to all of them being called Kitten?" The red-head inquired.
"All those baby animals can also be classified as kits, which apparently is short for kittens." The hybrid clone brought to the other clones attention.
"A baby Kangaroo is called a Kitten?" Roy asked.
"No, Wally said his cat also looked like a fox and their babies are also called kits." Conner informed Roy. "Then when I pointed out how confusing that would be they said something about aristocrats, only they called them Aristocats."
"Like the movie?" Roy inquired.
"What movie?" Conner asked.
"Oh yeah, I forgot; Bats banned most Disney movies from the Cave." The redhead remembered.
"When I asked what they meant they just said some more stuff that confused me." Conner admitted. "Then they said some more names and I asked if that was their final names, but they said not yet and I was losing my patience. Then Robin suggested naming them after The Three Musketeers. That's when I gave up listening to them. I went to my room shortly after Captain Marvel arrived."
"So… Why the freak out?" The ginger clone finally asked.
"Billy asked me what the kitten's names were." Superboy stated. "It's bad enough my teammates are mocking me, but now a League member?"
"I don't think he was in on it." Red Arrow explained. "This has The Three Brat-skateers written all over it. Mostly the two founding members from the looks of it."
"I thought they were my friends." The super teen said somberly as he finally sat up to look Roy in the face. "Why do they hate me so much?"
"They don't hate you, Conner." The archer claimed. "This is actually their way of showing you they care."
"By slowly driving me to madness?" the Kryptonian asked.
"No, by screwing around and trying to annoy you." The marksman reframed.
"That doesn't make sense." The ebony clone stated. "Why do they want to annoy me if they like me?"
"Friendship is weird like that; it's something the G-gnomes could never teach you." The ginger proclaimed. "When I first started hanging out with Wally and Robin, they always used to pull pranks on me."
"Like what?" Conner inquired.
"There was one time when they stole my phone and called all the girls on my contact list to tell them that I was in the hospital dying of super-cooties." Roy informed his fellow clone.
"So people thought that you were dying of some type of infectious disease?" The super teen asked.
"No, cooties are imaginary germs little kids think you get from kissing the opposite sex." The redhead clarified.
"So they pretty much told girls you had a fictional STD?" Conner asked.
"Basically." Roy shrugged.
"But doesn't that make you mad?" The Kryptonian asked.
"It did at first." The archer admitted. "Then after a while I got used to their pranks and pranked them back, it's just what brother's do."
"Brothers?" Supey pondered.
"Yeah, some of my friends said their brothers and them always pull pranks on each other." The marksman stated. "It's like how they show they care."
"But if they care about me so much, then why don't they just say it or try being nice to me instead?" The confused Kryptonian inquired.
"I guess most guys aren't really good with openly expressing how they feel, so they annoy the snot out of each other." Roy reasoned. "It must be some weird testosterone-fueled Y-chromosome brotherhood initiation thing."
"But that still doesn't explain why Zatanna went along with it." The super teen reminded the archer.
"In case you haven't noticed, Zatanna and most of the other girls on the Team are kind of tomboys." Red Arrow explained. "They tend to play rougher than the stereotypical girly-girls."
"I suppose that makes sense." Conner agreed with a sigh. "I guess I should apologize for breaking everything and hurting them."
Superboy stood up and started to walk towards the door to exit his room.
"Not so fast." The marksman said, as he placed his hand on his fellow clone's shoulder to stop him. "After all, they did try to purposely drive you nuts."
"Then what do you think I should do?" The super teen inquired.
"Well, since they showed you how much they 'care' about you, I think it's time we show them how much you care about them." The copper-haired archer said with a dubious smirk on his face.
Robin, Wally, Zatanna, and Captain Marvel were busy fixing up the living room and the kitchen. The kittens were placed back in their box before the 4 started their chores. They picked up most of the fallen items and threw away anything that was broken. They were able to fix the cabinet doors and even repaired the door on the fridge.
As they were wrapping it up, they heard a ruckus coming from the hall, ending in a door slamming with Red Arrow using his body to prevent it from opening. His hair was disheveled and his civvies were wrinkled with some tears.
"Roy, what's wrong?" Wally asked his older brother figure.
"It's Conner, I… I don't think I can fix him!" Roy replied.
"What?!" Zatanna exclaimed.
"He's too far gone!" The terrified archer stated almost breathlessly. "When he told me about the face thing, I told him about that Question guy in the League who doesn't have a face and he just went berserk! I had to slam his head against the wall to knock him out so that I could escape."
"Seriously?" Captain Marvel asked with concern.
"We went too far." Robin said regretfully.
"Poor Conner." Zatanna stated sympathetically.
"Wait, there's someone in the Justice League who doesn't have a face?" Wally inquired confused, looking at Roy and Captain Marvel, neither of whom paid any attention to his question.
"We need to fix this before the League comes back." Robin proclaimed.
"It's hopeless, every time I said 'kitten' he tried to hit me." Roy said. "I'm afraid to let him in the same room as one. I think he hates kittens even more than monkeys now!"
"Maybe we should get rid of the kittens, for their own safety." Captain Marvel stated.
"I'm not taking them to the pound, they didn't do anything wrong!" Wally shouted.
"Well, we can't just abandon them on the streets!" Zatanna shouted back at the speedster.
"Guys, don't worry. I know the perfect home for these kittens." Robin said as he grabbed the box of kittens and walked to the hangar towards the Zeta Tube.
Moral of the story (if you can call it that): Sometimes friends are jerks... because they care.