Thoughtful Moments

"Fili? You awake?" Kili whispered.

Fili looked over at his brother. "Yeah, I'm awake."

Kili sat up. "I can't sleep. I'm exhausted beyond reason, but I can't sleep"

"Neither can I. I keep thinking about what happened today." Fili sat up and leaned against his brother, taking comfort in his solid company.

"We almost lost Uncle today. I think we did lose him, for a little while," Kili said. "It if hadn't been for Gandalf," the thought hung in the air.

Fili shuddered. In the Goblin caves, they had hit Thorin with chains, then Azog had hit him right in the face with his mace. A warg had chewed on him like a piece of meat and then tossed Thorin against a hard stone. It had been the most terrible thing to see his uncle like that.

Fili feared the goblins, orcs, Azog and wargs, but what scared him the most was losing Kili or Thorin.

"If Uncle had died, do you realize what that would have meant for you and the company?" Kili asked.

Fili nodded. "Leadership of this quest would fall to me."

"What would you have done? If Thorin had died, would you turn us around and return to the Blue Mountains or would you lead us on, to the Lonely Mountain." Kili asked.

Thorin was nearby, resting on his bedroll. He would have preferred taking watch, but Gandalf and Oin had told him no, he needed to rest. The hike off of Carrock in his condition had been pretty painful and tiring. Thank goodness for good Dwarvish armor or that warg's teeth would have done more damage. So now, he laid on his bedroll, not far from his nephews. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but listening to the brother conversation had given him something more to focus on rather than the pain from his wounds.

Of course he had thought about what it would mean for the company if he was to die. There was precious little about this quest he hadn't thought about at some point or other. He knew if he were to die, the burden would be Fili's. He was too young to have that load laid at his feet, but Thorin knew that Fili would do it. He would lead them and be outstanding, but Thorin would spare him that burden as long as he could.

Now he listened to Kili's question. "Would you turn us around and return to the Blue Mountains or would you lead us on, to the Lonely Mountain?" Thorin held his breath.

"Lead us on, of course," Fili said. There was never any doubt. "I will see Thorin's dream fulfilled." He sighed. "And this company has come too far and endured too much to give up and go home."

Thorin exhaled.

"That would be my council to you, as well," Kili said. "We go to Erebor."

"I'm glad we both feel that way. You and I must be united in our decisions."

The boys were quiet. Thorin wiped at the lone tear that fell down his face. His lads were too good. He would do everything in his power to protect them.

"Do you miss Thora?" Kili asked.

"All the time," Fili whispered back.

"Fee, do you think Uncle would mind if we moved our bedrolls next to his? I want to be close to him tonight."

"So do I. Quietly. Thorin needs his rest," Fili said.

Thorin could hear the movement as they gathered their things together. They moved next to him. One on either side of him.

"I'm glad you came over," Thorin whispered.

"Did you hear us talking?" Fili asked.

"I didn't mean to listen in, but I couldn't help it and I was curious," Thorin admitted. "I'm proud of you boys. I know that on this quest, I'm Thorin, your king, and Thorin wants to thank you lads for being so loyal, but right now, I'm Uncle and Uncle is very proud of you."

They curled up close to him. All of them found comfort in each other's warmth and familiarity. They each vowed to protect the other two, no matter what.

Dear Thora,

I am in Esgaroth, Lake Town. We are very close to the Lonely Mountain now. The town lies in its shadow. It's wonderful to be so close to our goal, and yet, I fear the longest stretch of the journey is ahead of us.

I am well. A little beat up and bruised, but no worse for the wear. I wish the same could be said for Kili. He took an arrow to the leg. By doing so, he saved all of our lives, but now I worry for him. He continues to walk and insists he's fine, but I know it pains him. I hope it doesn't become infected, but after the things we've endured the last few days, I'll be surprised if it doesn't become infected. Perhaps I should have told you all of that. I'd say don't tell Amad, but I know she's reading this over your shoulder. Hi Amad!

We will soon leave for Erebor. I am excited and terrified of what awaits us there. I will have to finish this letter soon, but I cannot without telling you how much I love you and miss you. Not an hour goes by that I don't think of you. We were, for a short time, imprisoned by the elf King, Thranduil. He took from us all of our possessions. Every knife on me but two were taken from me. My swords Adad gave me and all of my beads were take by those blasted elves. But there's one thing they did not find. The pendent you made me. I still wear it and it hangs over my heart. I treasure it. I must go now. I love you more than all the gold in Erebor. Until next we meet, Mahal bless.

Fili

Dearest Thora,

We are in Erebor and the dragon is dead. I wish I could tell you we are having a big celebration and making plans to send a caravan to bring you here, but that is not the case. The local elves and humans are demanding gold from Thorin. It's a long story... Even still, I believe they deserve their pay, especially the men, but I don't like that they demand it now, before we've had a change to even breath in our new home. Nor do I like how they demand their payment with an army at their backs. But what worries me the most is Thorin's outright refusal of any payment to them. He's changed, Thora. He's not the same Uncle Thorin and I miss that Uncle Thorin. He has declared war. Foolish. What chance does thirteen dwarves and one hobbit have against two armies?

Oh yes, I should have mentioned this earlier, but Kili's healed. Remarkably well. His leg did get infected and we almost lost him, but he was healed by one with great skill. I'm thankful he's alive. I don't know what I'd do without him.

I fear a worse fate awaits us. Unless Thorin comes to his senses, we ride for war in the morning. So, I asked Ori for a page from his journal to write you this letter. I hope to give it to you in person when you arrive in Erebor. I long to see you, touch you, hold you, hear your voice. I want to whisper in your ear how very much I love you. I don't know if you managed to conceive a child before I left, but if you did and we have a child, tell him his Adad loves him.

My love for you is eternal and whether we meet again in this life or the next, we will be together again. My love for you will never die.

If I perish in this battle, know I'm happy to give my life to protect my uncle and my brother. I fight for our home and our king. It's my honor to follow Thorin. Take care, my jewel. I love you. Always. Mahal bless.

Fili, son of Joli

A blessed Patriot's Day or Remembrance Day (which ever you call it). For me, 9/11 has always been a happy day, for it is my birthday. In good hobbit fashion, I give a gift of another chapter (sorry it's a emotional one) and I wish each of you the very best. -Idrylla