Please don't hate me! Honestly, I don't even remember if I updated on schedule last time...Don't judge me, guys. And, first of all, to all of you who are like, 'congrats on making it to high school' welllllll... ha, my district's all weird and like joke's on you! with a system of 7th through 9th middle school. So, yeah, I'm in 9th grade. Not at a high school yet, though. Sadly. *tear*
Oh! And my event was amazing! One did okay for the technically first event at a higher level and the other was a rock star for her first event ever! I'm so excited! I'm going to see The Fault In Our Stars this Wednesday with my friends! Anyone seen HTTYD 2 yet? Don't give spoilers, I just want thumbs down, thumbs up, or every single freaking thumb in the world up. Yep, that's all...
Kate trudged silently all the way to her dorm. When she got there, Jack pulled her key out from her bag, wordlessly letting them both in.
He waited outside patiently while Kate took a long hot shower.
She changed in the bathroom, stepping out.
Her eyes were stinging but that's what she got for taking a shower in contacts.
"Please leave." Kate said when she got out. Jack didn't move.
"Jack," she said, sounding broken even to herself. "Jack, you aren't listening."
"Well yeah I'm not listening!" He exploded. Kate flinched. "Why don't you stand up for yourself, why do you let them torment you like that?"
Because I torment myself much worse than they ever could torment me.
"It's not my place to," she shrugged.
"Well it damn better be your place to!" Jack brought his hands up to grip his hair in annoyance.
"It doesn't get to me..." Kate said. She barely convinced herself.
Jack looked at her.
"Then why'd you run off?"
"Because I did, okay?" She snapped.
"Fine, fine," he said.
She sighed, falling to her bed. Nevara jumped up, nudging her hand. Kate smiled, rubbing her ears.
"I just don't understand you, Kate." Jack said, sitting down.
Trust me, I don't either.
"Most likely not," she whispered, amused.
"And now you're the one lightening the mood. Is the world upside down today?"
"Oh shut up, Frost." She smiled, laughing just slightly.
"Don't call me Frost, Hope," he smirked.
She glared at him playfully.
She sat up, pushing him with her arm.
"What is wrong with us?" Kate laughed.
"I have no idea," Jack smiled.
Kate had to admit, they were a bit weird. Like siblings, Hiccup had said. Cold one minute and laughing the next.
"Okay, even though I've known you since the beginning of the year, I know barely anything about you," Jack said.
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, 'cause I know so much about you!"
But I do. And you know everything about me.
Well, almost everything...
"Seriously though. Where did you live before BPAA?"
"A town farther out," she said.
"That's not helpful," he pretended to be mad, pouting.
Kate laughed again. She had laughed more in the past three minutes than in the past three years.
It felt nice.
"Okay, Mr. Let's-Get-To-Know-Each-Other, just ask away. But there are certain things that I will refuse to answer." She warned.
"Well, we all have our secrets, don't we?" He smiled. Was that a melancholy she detected behind that smile?
"Fine. Where did you come from?"
Arendelle, Burgess.
"Arendelle, Burgess."
"What about your family?"
Mother, father who was rarely ever in the picture, and a younger sister that you adore.
"My father left us a while ago. My mom remarried Nick, a guy who has helped us out a lot."
Hm. He didn't mention Jillie.
"No siblings?" She asked.
Jack looked away, smiling bitterly. "That's something I'm gunna have to pass on.
Oh God. What happened?
"That's alright. I guess your turn?"
"Do you have any siblings?"
"Pass."
"What are your parents like?"
"Pass."
"Why is your name Katrian?"
"Why is your name Jack?" She fired back.
"Haha, hysterical, but really."
She giggled. "It's a Scandinavian name. It means 'pure.'"
"Oh. Do you just go by Kate 'cause it's easier?"
"Well, Catheryn mainly started calling me that-"
"Catheryn? Is that your mom?"
"Oh, uh, yeah," Kate reddened.
How am I gunna get myself out of this?
"You call your mom by her first name?"
I don't lie, what do I do?
"We aren't too close," that much was true. Kate generally stayed put in her room, refusing all attempts Bob and Catheryn made. They were still nice and Kate was eternally grateful, but she couldn't help wanting to be shut out from the world.
"Me either, with my mom," Jack admitted.
I know.
"Who was your best friend growing up?" Jack asked, surprising Kate.
"M-my best friend?" She stuttered.
"Mm hm," he nodded.
"Well, I,- uh...pass?"
He shook his head. "Do you mean to tell me you never had a best friend?"
Of course I did. I just can't tell you that it was you, silly.
"Obviously not, Hiccup's my best friend," she defended.
"Oh, I'm hurt," Jack grinned, falling backwards dramatically.
"I think you'll live."
"Ouch. I can feel the concern there, Kate," he sat back up, smiling.
"Anytime," she said innocently. "But what about you?"
"Hm?"
"Your best friend growing up?"
"Oh." His face slightly fell.
Kate's did too, but she hid her frown.
Oh God, he really does hate me.
"Well, that girl, Anna, you met her once, remember?"
Kate nodded. She feared of saying anything. She shouldn't have asked.
"Her sister and I were best friends. I don't exactly know what happened."
"Oh. I'm...sorry," she said awkwardly.
Jack! I'm right here! I didn't abandon you!
"No problem. Okay, love life." He said, cheery again.
"Oh," her face flushed again, turning into a tomato.
"What?" Jack asked.
"Well, nothing. My love life is very...nonexistent."
But, I love-
Shut up. Thinking I'm in love at fourteen with someone who will never ever ever feel the same way does not count as a love life.
"What about you? I'm sure you had girls left and right," she smiled.
"Yeah, I guess. But I only ever really liked this one girl." He said, blushing. Kate smiled.
I remember her. She was one of the nicer people. You had a crush on her forever. I can't even remember her name.
"What was her name?" She asked, poking him.
"Stop it!" He laughed. "And, um, pass."
"Oh you're no fun," she huffed.
Jack would not tell Kate that the only girl he'd ever been interested in never saw him in that way and that she was gone forever.
"But I miss the old days," Jack sighed.
Kate stopped smiling.
Did he miss her? He was so much better off without her, though.
"Sometimes life gets hard." She said.
"Hard enough to desert everyone?" Jack said back.
Kate swallowed, feeling a lump in her throat.
"You know, they say that letting people in is hard. Really, that part is easy. It's shutting them out that's the hardest."
He looked up at her.
"A picture's worth a thousand words. But what if it's the wrong picture?" He stared blankly at the wall.
She paused, fiddling with her hands in her lap.
"Then I guess you look at the right one."
He looked back at her.
She looked at him. Their gazes met again. This time, they didn't look away.
For a moment, Kate was wondering if Jack could see behind her brown eyes. Straight into her blue ones. Maybe even further. It terrified her. It also willed her.
Tell him.
I can't!
Yes you can.
I don't know how!
How about, 'hi Jack, it's me, Elsa.'
I really can't.
Tell him.
I'm afraid.
Tell him.
I can't.
I beg of you, tell him.
"Jack, I..." But the words couldn't form on her mouth.
She looked away.
"I have to go," she whispered.
So close, and yet, so far. You'll never be happy, you know.
As Kate walked out of her dorm, she responded to herself, Well, I'll just have to live with that, won't I?
She made her way to the practice room, rubbing her eyes. They were still stinging. But she didn't dare take the contacts out.
Jack weighed heavily on her mind.
She had actually wanted to tell him.
What was wrong with her?
She yearned for him by her side again. She wanted to remember everything.
Except everything.
Everything was just too complicated.
She sat down at the piano in a flourish, setting her things down by the stand.
She hummed a tune and began to play, eventually singing along.
(Quick A/N: this song is called Say Your Name also by Plumb which you should look up as well, it is utterly flawless for TSOKH)
When does a scar become a tattoo?
When does the sky fade back to blue?
When will this broken
Heart that I'm holding
Beat on its own?
As usual, the song fit her events in real life. When was she going to accept that things could just never go back the way they were before? She thought she had a long time ago, but seeing Jack changed everything.
When do I stop feeling this burn
When do I live, when will I learn
When will I realize
That look in your eyes
Won't come back?
From the sounds of things, Jack hated her. But, on the rare occasion, he sounded like he missed her. What was she supposed to do? Either way, things were never going to be the same. Even if she did tell him, he would never be able to look at her the same.
I'm right here
Standing in the pouring rain
Tick tock
Hours all feel the same
I say your name
I say your name
Well I'm right here
Running just as fast as I can
And I swear
I'm never gonna do this again
I say your name
I say your name
Kate really wanted to forget. As much as she wanted to remember, forgetting was easier. It was so much less of a burden. If she had to keep running from the past for the rest of her life, so be it. But that didn't mean she couldn't have one time to just let go.
I try to be strong but I keep dreaming of you
Oh I really wish this was easy to do
But I've never felt this
Tied up and helpless
And all that I know
Is you're gone
How do I let go?
A very good question, indeed. Jack had moved on. She should too. She had tried so hard, she couldn't risk it all because she was going through a time of small regret.
I'm right here
Standing in the pouring rain
Tick tock
Hours all feel the same
I say your name
I say your name
Well I'm right here
Running just as fast I can
And I swear
I'm never gonna do this again
I say your name
I say your name
She closed her eyes for a few seconds. It was nice to just sing her heart out. It was the only time she could.
Well I know
That someday
This pain
It will fade
But right now
I can't explain
How I feel
I wanna scream
Being two people was not an easy thing to do. But, technically, Kate wasn't two people. She had decided who she was a long time ago.
I'm right here
Standing in the pouring rain
Tick tock
Hours all feel the same
I say your name
I say your name
Well I'm right here
Running just as fast as I can and I swear
I'm never gonna do this again
I say your name
I say your name
Just because she had chosen didn't mean she couldn't have one last moment of small remembrance. And so, Kate whispered the name, for she dared not say it aloud, that had been ringing through her mind the entire song:
"Elsa..."
Haha, oh, you thought it was Jack's name? That was a surprise, huh ;P
I just love that song for that moment. It was just so perfect!
Again, have to skip the short ones, I'm loving the reviews peoples!
corde amare: well, we shall see. And why Drop Dead Diva? Apologies, I rarely go on Netflix anymore. I'm a total Once Upon A Time nerd so there's that :) especially since the newest season will have Frozen (eek!)
Shimmer Shine: well, I know next to nothing about hair dye, but she had to use dye remover each time so her hair didn't come clean, but her makeup probably smudged. Haha, I don't think Jack notices, though...
Snowman: again, *sigh* alas, still stuck in middle school... but I love their relationship, too. Originally, Anna was a very, very, very minor character and didn't even appear until the end, (and that one time when Kate/Elsa sorta-kinda-maybe almost ran her over but who's counting?) but nothing is ever definite in the world of writing. And BPAA stands for Burgess Performing Arts Academy, it's the school that they go to. And since they are seventeen, they are in their junior year. Kate just finally decided to man-up and accept their request to apply. BPAA was also Elsa's and Jack's dream school when they got older. And sometimes those endings are very annoying. I mean, I understand it (not really but you get the picture) and how you'd want to die for the one you love, but honestly, Romeo, you saw her dead, be sad, never love again, but why the h-e-double-hockey-stick would you kill yourself too?! Besides, it was all for nothing anyways, you ended up killing your loved one, in a way, anyways. So, pointless endings. That's the way I feel, anyone else with me on this?
Livia Toric: haha, dream on...I mean...haha, suuuuure! ^-^
shobbs10: lol thank you so much and here you go!
that-author-with-a-number-name-that-I-do-not-feel-like-writing-down: haha, wow. I hope you like my Jelsa story!
CupcakeMonkey567: that sounds amazing, but I still like my idea! (no offense) but I promise you will love it! And if you don't, suck it up and read it, girl, it's my story. Haha, jk, but I really hope you will love it!
Rose: um...actually, I think I know what times you are referring to. I am still so sad about that ='( anyways, maybe, it all depends on my real life schedule and my inspiration but if I don't update everyday, expect one at least every two days. And see Shimmer Shine's review. Also, yes you could. Only, my phone may or may not be in the process so good luck with that.
ATA: ikr? But it's just not who she is...yet.
DragonIceFury: okay, I'm answering you this time, sorry I can't answer, I have such a long list of reviews! But thanks and sorry, so many reviews! This story actually now has more reviews than my first story! Congrats my faithful reviewers!
Falcon88: haha, you don't know the half of it...surprisingly, that's not even the worst thing she's done. If you're scared you should be. She's in algebra and honors English with me. Sometimes I can see why and other times I'm just like, 'how?!' Anywho, I have to survive another year -_- But no, breaks are not allowed. And thank you for realizing that. I want to ask all of my reviewers something but will wait until I finish your answer. And again, I do not know anything about hair dye but it didn't wash out in my story. Or, at least, not that I know of. Haha, yes, that makes perfect sense.
Okay, here is the question:
What would be a good amount of chapters for this Fanfic?
(i.e. 20, 24, 30, just give me a number. Rose, that does not mean 50 or forever -_- yes I can read your mind)