"So"

"So?"

"What are we gonna do about him?"

"We? There is no we here, just you, Desmond"

"Lucy…"

"No, you brought him home, you deal with him"

"I didn't bring him home specifically! He actually fit in the box when I brought him in!"

"Doesn't matter, your fault, your problem"

Desmond lets out a long, exaggerated and pained groan. Lucy swatted his arm. He groaned again, but dramatically lifted himself up off the couch to trudge over to the bedroom door. He carefully creaked the door open to poke his head inside. The man was still there, curled up in a more fetal position, a fist shoved up into his mouth, he was sucking on his knuckles like a baby.

Desmond slowly opened the door more to creep inside, unsure of how he wanted to go about this. When no other way presented itself, Desmond reached out to gently shake the man's shoulder. Those pale blue eyes fluttered open again, and the man turned his head towards him.

"Heeeeeey, buddy" Desmond greeted him, smiling sheepishly. "Um, don't mean to interrupt your nap, but you kiiiinda need to uh, get off the bed, please"

The man stared at him, knuckles popping free from his mouth as he let out a huge yawn.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, but just, you just can't stay here anymore" Desmond apologized. The man let out a noise, half a groan, half some weird squeak that was definitely not human. He slowly stretched out, much like a cat did waking up. Desmond's gaze drifted along his unraveled body; pale, gaunt, some dark bruised like spots here and there. He still wasn't sure how this guy was the wiggly black blobby thing Desmond brought in, but man he needed to go back to that so he could be stuffed back into the box, taped up, and shipped to like, Antarctica.

"You didn't come with clothes" Desmond states after he realizes he's been staring at this guy's naked body. "And I don't think the blanket will cover…all of you anymore"

The man with the blue eyes gives him a curious look.

"You can borrow something of mine I guess" Desmond muss, inching over to his dresser and pulling a shirt out. "You don't need to worry about giving it ba-aaaamygod!"

Desmond watched as black and red like static snaked across the man's body. When they dissipated, the man was suddenly clothed, a white dress shirt with blue jeans, and a pair of square framed glasses. He almost had a neat, scholarly, yet nerdy look to him. But how in the fucking huffllelumps and woozles did he do that? Desmond dropped the shirt in his hands and fled back into the living room.

"Luuucyyyy" Desmond whined, sliding to a stop behind the couch. "I brought home an alien!"

She looks at him like he's gone crazy.

x-X-X-x

The "alien" eventually took the apartment proper, poking around at all their things, sniffing curiously at their kitchen, just bizarre behaviors as if he had never been inside someone's home before. But maybe they didn't have it all on…Pluto or something. Eventually he had found the box he had been previously stowed away in, pulling the blanket out of it and covering his face with it. And they watched as his shoulders rose as he inhaled, hands moving the blanket around his face, hearing that sigh of content and peace.

From there he was like an overgrown toddler carrying his blankie around, sans sucking on his knuckles. Desmond and Lucy mainly tried to stay on the complete opposite side of the room as him as he investigated their shit. They had absolutely no clue as to what they wanted to do about this. They were assassins for god's sake, surely they could handle some stranger intruder in their own domain.

But this guy, if they really could call him that, was just, something else. He had yet to speak an actual word, he instead growled lowly or made some curious noise, just something rather inhuman. He rarely blinked, had this unnerving stillness to him despite how active he was. He didn't move right, just something about him was off. The idea of him being a real life alien seemed perfectly plausible.

"Okay" Lucy eventually says to break the relative silence of the room. "You" she points at the man to catch his attention. "Need to leave. I'm glad you like our stuff, but you have to go. Right now"

"No" the man says.

"Yes" Lucy insits.

"No" the man repeats. To emphasize his point, he sits down where he stands and hugs his blanket close. Lucy blinks at him in utter shock.

"Alright" Desmond claps his hands together. 'Who wants Chinese for dinner?"

Thanks for reading you guys~