DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, yaddayaddayadda…

I decided to post the next chapter early just because. I am hoping to post one chapter per week while working on the next few chapters. Once I reach where I am at in the story, I am hoping for at least 2 chapters per month. I have other stories to update and I have a crazy life right now, especially after unfairly losing my job. Hang in there! And thanks for sticking with me :)

I hope you enjoy this! It's a bit darker than the other three, but it has to be. Please review! I am a review whore, I will readily admit that XD

Enjoy!

Draco patted the mound of dirt and stood. His chest constricted and it was hard for him to breathe. He said a silent prayer and headed back up to the castle; he was by the Forbidden Forest, behind a hill so no one could see him.

He felt wretched; that poor little bird did not deserve to die. He vowed that he wouldn't use the second one. Why did he even have to fix the vanishing cabinet? What if he… didn't? He shook his head. No, that was stupid. He had to. He had nowhere to go if he defied the Dark Lord. Maybe the Weasley mother would adopt him. He then snorted at the thought.

He sighed; his heart felt heavier than it ever had before. He accidentally cursed Katie Bell, star chaser of Gryffindor, and nearly killed her and now he's trying to fix something that would allow Death Eaters into the castle. He did manage to kill an innocent little bird, and he was going to poison a bottle of alcohol Slughorn had gotten as a gift for Dumbledore; Draco saw it in the potions classroom with the gift tag on it after a lesson.

Maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he'd hold off on trying to kill the one man he respected more than anything other than his godfather – the one man who could keep him safe.

When he got back to the dorm, his roommates weren't there but he closed his bed curtains, anyway. He took his Swiss army knife out of his pocket and fiddled with it. He ran his thumb across it, reveling in the feel of the cold steel against his skin. He flipped it open and rolled up his left sleeve, pressing the razor sharp blade against the underside of his arm. In one quick motion, he made a small cut. Beads of blood seeped out of the wound but did not fall. The second cut was deeper and further up his arm.

Whenever he self-harmed, the cuts were always perpendicular to his arm. He didn't know why he did it this way. Perhaps it was so he wouldn't bleed out if he nicked any veins on his wrist; which was why he never cut directly on his wrist. Then again, he didn't mind the thought of dying. At least before he started this thing, whatever it was, with Potter. Harry.

Those first two cuts were for the vanishing cabinet and the bird. As he progressed, the cuts became more violent as he thought about more pressing matters. Dumbledore, his task, what Harry would think of him if he knew, his father… Voldemort. He hissed; that last one was actually quite painful. He looked at it and saw his blood travel down the side of his arm and bead underneath it.

He felt better.

"Have you seen Malfoy, recently? He's been looking rather… down."

"Why do you care, Mione?"

"Because, Ron, it's not like him and even though he's a git, he's still human and unlike you, I have a heart."

"He could just be up to something again."

"If I was up to something, I wouldn't look like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders."

"Maybe his mummy finally died."

"RON! I cannot believe how horrible you're being! How could you say something like that?!"

"BECAUSE I DON'T CARE, HERMIONE! So shut up or leave us alone!"

Hermione got up and stormed out of the common room. Harry thought Ron was unreasonably harsh on her, but most of his thoughts were elsewhere. He was worried; if Hermione saw something off about Draco, he must be really upset. What also bugged Harry was that Hermione noticed, and she wasn't Draco's lover. He was. Well... newly made, at least. He did notice something off, but didn't think much of it. He felt terrible, now.

"'Scuse me," he said. He got up and left the common room to go to the owlery, leaving Ron to his bad mood.

Meet me on the top of the astronomy tower in ten.

-H

He nodded his approval of the message and cooed Hedwig down from her spot. She flew to his shoulder instead of the perch in front of him and nuzzled his face. He chuckled and affectionately pet her head. She jumped off of his shoulder to land on the perch and turned around, sticking out her leg.

"Hedwig, this must not be read. If anyone tries to intercept you, destroy it, alright?" She hooted. He tied the letter to her and she flew off. He then left to go to his destination and waited restlessly for Draco to show up. When he heard footsteps on the metal staircase, his head turned towards it and he instinctively smiled.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," Draco replied. Now that Harry knew what to look for, Draco's unease was painfully obvious. "What did you want?"

"I… wanted to see you."

"Oh."

They stared at each other for a few moments, then Draco turned to look out at the river and mountains surrounding the school.

"Actually, I… noticed you weren't acting… normal." Draco's eyes moved to look at Harry. "Well, Hermione pointed it out, but I did notice, and I got concerned."

"I'm fine."

"That's why this is quipped and awkward, now, right?" Harry took a daring step by saying that. Draco looked uncomfortable and continued to stare out at the landscape. "People in a relationship are supposed to talk to each other. You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but at least let me know when you're upset so I can help. We are together… aren't we?" Harry asked timidly.

"What kind of a question is that?" Draco snapped, but realized his mistake. "Of course. I'm the one who established that, after all."

"I'm just confirming… I never got a verbal confirmation."

"Oh. Well, yes. The fact that I haven't fucked you yet means you mean more to me than those harlots I've been with over the years, who think they own me just because they've had a taste."

Harry snorted and rolled his eyes. "Oh, well doesn't that make me feel special."

The corners of Draco's mouth twitched. "It should."

Harry shook his head and smiled. "... Anyway, I wanted to see what was wrong. Your barrier goes up when I get into something personal, and I understand why… I just wish I could get through. I just want to help."

"I know." 'But you can't help.' After a long minute, he leaned towards Harry and their foreheads touched. They stayed like that for a short while and the Draco gently kissed him. "Thank you."

This was when Blaise Zabini chose to leave. He was happy; his best friend had finally found an outlet. How or why it was in the form of Harry Potter, he'd never know. He followed Draco after he saw him receive a letter from one of the three white owls in the school, and his curiosity peaked. He knew that Draco has been down, and there was no doubt in his mind that it was about the task the Dark Lord gave him over the summer. So when Draco left the room they shared with Theo, Blaise decided to follow.

He knew that Draco cut. He opened the curtains to Draco's bed one day last month and found his distraught friend sitting, curled over himself, his left arm in plain sight. The pocket knife was held loosely in Draco's right hand. Blaise had pried his friend's fingers open and put the knife on the bedside table. He had then cast scourgify on Draco's comforter and arm and held him for what seemed like hours.

It had shocked him to his core to know that his best friend was doing harm to himself. He decided not to tell anyone about it, though. If Draco wanted to kill himself, he would have done it already. Or so, at least he thought... and hoped. Theo found the bloody knife Blaise forgot about the next day, but he didn't ask questions. Blaise loved that about him. They had shared a concerned look and that was that.

He would not talk to Draco about the cutting, but he would eventually ask about Harry. For now, though, he would leave them alone.

Harry couldn't figure out what on Earth could be so wrong that it made Draco Malfoy so depressed. He remembered the sobs he heard in the bathroom before he cast sectumsempra and inwardly shuddered. He almost killed the boy he had come to care so passionately for, even if it has only been two weeks.

He sat next to Draco and kept him company for the next hour. Even though Draco wasn't showing any signs of it, Harry knew that the blonde was hurting. He hated that his lover was in so much turmoil, and he hated that he didn't know what was causing it. He refused to ask, though; Draco would tell him when he was ready to.

I hope you enjoyed that. Please let me know what you think!