Sorry again, I have been so busy!
And I just want to remind everyone that Hiccup and Jack don't necessarily know that Elsa was kidnapped since she hasn't told anyone about what happened.
She'd have to face the world sometime or another. Sooner or later.
If it was up to her, it'd be later. But, she needed to practice, after all, that's what she was here for after all.
She could put it off a little longer, right? A little extra sleep never hurt anyone.
She grumbled, turning over in her bed.
Jack had left her alone for the past three days, which she was glad about.
At least, that's what she told herself.
She was just drifting off into the darkness when a knock sounded at her door.
Maybe if she juts ignored it...
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock!
"Okay, okay," she mumbled, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
She stumbled out of bed, stopping to check her reflection.
Oh God, she was a mess.
Her hair had fallen out of the braid and was sticking up in all directions. Her eyes were bloodshot and drooping. She looked overall just...tired.
She flattened her hair the best she could and slipped on her glasses to walk to the door.
She cracked it open a little bit.
Her eyes widened when she saw who was standing there.
Jack had his hands stuffed nervously in his faded blue hoodie's pockets, he was biting his lip slightly. What was he doing here?
"Elsa-"
She slammed the door shut, spinning around to lean against it with her arms sprawled out to cover it.
Like that would do anything.
She panted heavily, eyes still wide.
What was he doing here?
Knock knock knock.
She gulped.
Why she did what she did next, she would never know.
Elsa slowly turned back around, and opened the door.
"Hey," Jack said, instinctively reaching up to rub the back of his neck.
She swallowed again.
"H-hi," she managed quietly.
Jack stuffed his hand back in with the other one.
What was he doing here?
Wasn't he meaning to go out for a walk?
What was he even supposed to say? Now he was standing there looking like an idiot. Why did he care what Elsa saw him as, though? Wasn't she the one who had clearly stated that she didn't need him?
Say something his mind commanded.
Unfortunately, his mouth didn't quite deliver as well as he'd like.
"I- I, uh..."
Smooth.
Shut up.
He sighed.
"I really don't know what I'm doing here," he admitted.
Elsa peered from behind the door, staring at him with an uncertain gaze.
"O-oh," she stammered.
He smiled slightly.
"I'm sorry, I should...just go," he said, trying not to show his shoulders deflate in defeat.
This was such a stupid idea.
"O-okay," Elsa whispered. At least she hadn't yelled at him for trying to be nice.
She slowly closed the door, and he walked off, in a daze of confusion. She had seemed...not herself. Like she was hurt.
She didn't want him there anymore. She had said that herself.
Although, why should he even care?
He shouldn't.
But that didn't change the fact that he did.
But he couldn't keep chasing after Elsa if all she was going to do was run away. She didn't want him, that much was simple. He was fed up with Elsa pushing him away. But most of all, he was just plain tired of knocking down her walls. She crafted them so perfectly, making them higher and stronger each time he made it through. All she ever did was build walls.
Maybe it was time to build his own.
Elsa kept her head down as she walked through the halls to the practice rooms. The memory of those four days ago was still fresh in her mind and she didn't need another reason to come loose.
After Jack's odd visit, she had dressed in an off-the-shoulder sweater with some shorts and her flats, her glasses perched on her nose and her hair in its usual braid. Though she was the only one in the hall at the time, she couldn't risk anything.
Her shoes tapped and echoed back to her in the desolate area.
She was alone.
But that's the way it should be, right?
No, Jack should be here.
No, he shouldn't. All you do is hurt people, Elsa. It's best this way.
She nodded once in agreement to herself.
But...don't you love Jack?
Elsa jerked to a stop in the middle of the hallway.
You do.
Oh my God, you do.
But you can't. It's too dangerous for you both. Build your walls, Elsa. Conceal it, don't feel it.
She furrowed her brow.
The voice of reason had come back, but it was always pushed away by her sense of doubt and fear. She couldn't listen to any of them.
Besides, Jack must hate her for what she said. And right he should, she deserved nothing else.
Then...why did her heart feel like it was breaking if this was best?
Because though what's best is best, it is not always the easiest.
She didn't know which voice said that, and she had exactly three seconds to ponder it before something- or more, someone- crashed into her.
Elsa looked up to find Jack's face in a fading smile.
It was like he had been happy to see her, but then remembered what happened.
She looked away, hurt, but with no logical explanation why.
Jack stumbled off of her, helping her up even though she tensed when he touched her.
"Elsa," Jack greeted politely.
She just bit her lip, grasping her arm.
Jack looked like he wanted to say something, but Elsa saw his eyes flash and settle with a certain darkness that shouldn't belong there.
He walked off without another word.
And still, no tears came.
Did they just shrivel up from misuse? Or did she finally accept that she didn't deserve to cry for herself?
She sighed, walking on.
Elsa walked to the practice room, shrugging off her bag at the entrance and immediately settling down at the piano bench.
She laid her hands shakily across the keys, but nothing came to mind.
She pulled them back, feeling unstable.
She decided to play along with a random song from her iPod.
Elsa shuffled up, grabbing her iPod and speakers from her bag. Once it was situated, she hit shuffle and ran back to the bench.
A slow and pretty piano tune started to play, and Elsa began to play along with it.
Ah, I know this one, she thought, singing along.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
Not for the first time, Elsa was struck by how the song she had begun to sing matched her life. Fate must enjoy playing with her. Thoughts and memories about Jack ran through her head as she sang.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
She felt like she could barely breath lately. Elsa couldn't figure out what to do and it was killing her. How could she face Jack and let him in again? It just wasn't possible.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
Elsa realized that she did, indeed, love Jack. How funny for her to realize that after she had decided that she couldn't have him in her life. Once she let him go, only then did she realize just how much she needed him. But he could not need her. Neither could she.
But you still have
All of me
Even if she could never reach out to him again, she might as well come to terms that even after all of those years, he still had...well, all of her.
You used to captivate me with your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face- it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice- it chased away all the sanity in me
He had to leave her. That was the only way she could possibly think of. There was just no room for him in her broken life.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
He didn't deserve to be held back and tied down with her broken self. He deserved so much more than her. Of course he had to leave. Of course she had to let him go. And she would just have to live with that.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
She tried to push Jack out her head and focus, but it didn't exactly succeed. Her brow furrowed in her internal conflict.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
She settled into a melody and hummed along with it. Why did her life have to be so complicated when it really wasn't? All in all, it was quite simple; push everyone out, be safe. Conceal, don't feel.
Then why did she feel like she was being torn in two?
Maybe she didn't need a break from everything, maybe she just needed to think.
There's nothing to think about!
Yes there is. You can't see the obvious answer that's right in front of you because you're scared. You may be brittle right now, but man up and face this, Elsa!
She sighed, taking a deep breath.
Maybe...maybe the voice of reason needed to be listened to.
She sat down, taking her first three fingers of each hand and resting them on either side of her eyebrows.
Breathe, Elsa, she told herself.
So she was shutting Jack out. What was new?
This time, he didn't come back stronger and more willing than the last time to be let in.
It was like he was giving up.
But that was what she wanted, that was what she needed, right?
Don't sound so sure of yourself now, do you?
Fine. She would admit it. She loved Jack.
Now that she had pushed him so far that he might not ever return, she saw that now.
But it didn't matter. He couldn't be in her world. He just couldn't.
Then why did she miss him so badly that it hurt?
Why did her arms ache to have him to wrap around?
Why did her heart beat faster when she was near him?
Why her?
Why him?
All of those questions swirled in her mind, and suddenly, a voice rung clearly in her head.
Jack doesn't and won't ever care for you. After all, you left him. He must hate you.
It was her captor's voice.
She still hadn't come clean to a single soul that she had been kidnapped. It was still as traumatizing as the last time she thought about it.
That one experience had been terrifying and she was scared.
Scared of losing Jack, scared that he did hate her, scared that she had lost everything.
But her fears were silly.
She already had lost Jack, he already did hate her, and she most certainly had already lost everything long before she found something worth pain when it was lost.
She was now scared that she would have to face that again.
This wasn't an instance where her head was telling her one thing and her heart another, no, she couldn't make heads or tails of what either was saying.
It was just too confusing.
Voice of reason? A little help?
Nothing. Of course. When she actually wanted to hear the voices in her head, there was silence.
...What does your heart say?
She paused.
What did it say?
She shoved away all of her hopeless thoughts, and tried to listen to what she wanted.
I...don't know which voice that one is.
It will be the strongest one.
Oh. Then it says to push Jack out and leave him there. He doesn't need me.
Good, then, don't listen to it.
How is that good? Are you just saying that because you want me to let Jack in?
No. You can't listen to your heart because it's been broken and has yet to be fixed. You can't take directions from a broken GPS, now, can you?
I...suppose not...
What does your head say? That would be the one that is the smallest one.
It says...
It was like being in a crowded room, with everybody talking all at once. There is one person that is shouting at you so loudly you can barely hear anyone else, and you're trying to listen to a child whispering in the corner.
How could one do that?
Elsa shut her eyes even tighter, forcefully shoving all other thoughts away. To her surprise, they quieted.
And so, she listened to what her head, the only thing that could ever think clearly (and, coincidentally, the only voice she had great difficulty listening to), was telling her.
If Jack hated you, would he have been so heartbroken over the fact that you had left?
If Jack hated you, would he have come back so many times to break down your walls brick by brick, even when you threw everything you had at him?
If Jack hated you, would he have been so concerned about you?
If Jack hated you, would he be deciding to let you go?
The answer is simple; no. No, he would not.
Elsa sucked in a deep breath. She felt her mouth curve up.
Smiling, her brain told her. You're smiling.
Indeed Elsa was.
Sometimes the voice you need to hear the most is the one drowned out by all the ones you don't.
And though it is the only way that you can see, it does not mean that it is truly the only way to go.
She opened her eyes, making her decision.
She needed to find Jack. Now.
Elsa just hoped it wasn't too late.
Aww! I feel so sad and heart warmed at the same time!
And by the way, Elsa is not going crazy, there are just her thoughts that she voices as...well, voices.
Congrats, guys, I had to go back 3 pages before I found where reviews for chapter 33 began! Although, the numberous reviews means that I can only answer the long and/or questioning ones...sorry!
shobbs10: well, you tried your best *pat pat*
Rose: this is Fanfiction. All rules of knowledge go out the window, my friend. ANd for the suggestion, ah, no. I don't think you remember, so I'll remind you: PITCH IS IN HIGH SCHOOL WITH JACK AND ELSA! That would be WEIRD. And that's not creepy. Not in the least. (Hey, you're my friend in real life, I can say these things to you)
Michelle-Lee: We shall see... and yes, that's what the cloth thing of chemicals was. Lol, okk.
Demon's Angel: lol, that's perfectly fine, thank you for choosing to read my story in the first place! And aww, thank you so much! Well, I can't respond to ALL of them, but, most of them! 1) no, the cover image is not me, that person has to at least be seventeen (which is Elsa's age in the Fanfic) 2) Elsa is very kind and goes through all of the stuff she's had to. Though she doesn't deal with it too well, it says a lot simply that she does. I love the way that Jack cares for her and is never afraid or daunted to keep coming back. Hiccup is just the nicest friend ever and supports both of them so much. I hope you meant the traits of all 3 characters in my story... You should get an account so we can PM!
Jewelaria Rosha: Grace; yes, I could just shift into a-
P.N.4700; WILL YOU SHUT UP AND LET PEOPLE READ THE SHIFTERS TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO?!
Grace; well they COULD but it's not officially started yet!'
P.N.4700; but the first chapter's up so haha. And wait...didn't I say I wasn't going to argue with my own OC?
Grace; and yet, here we are
Snowman: well..no one said Elsa was the smartest. Again, they didn't know that she was kidnapped because she didn't tell them. And sheesh guys, I haven't even told people who the kidnapper WAS! You just assume it's Pitch?!
Grace; spoiler alert, it is
Shut up! Oh well, most of them figured it out anyways. Things have a way of catching up on things that you do, so... And though I feel proud that I can make someone feel that way through writing please note that they are stories and this probably wouldn't happen in real life. I would HOPE that someone would be smarter than Kate/Elsa and realize that the road they took wasn't the right one. Honestly, I'm a little uncertain about half the things that happen in the story because they are so unrealistic. And thanks. I hope you do continue to read stories, but I guess that's your decision. If you want to, that would be great but if it's making you depressed than I would advise against it...
scarlet knight: again with this Pitch insults! (Yes, even though you now know that it WAS Pitch, but, ya know...he's a good guy in my other Fanfic.) And thank you so much as well! And eh, who cares about real words? (Obviously not me) And Grace/Gracelynn is my OC that I created as Jack and Elsa's daughter. Her story is a sequel to my first Fanfic and titled The Shifters if for some reason you ever want to check it out.
CupcakeMonkey567: Grace; Pearlness4700 has decided to let me take over reviewing for this one, so, hello. But she has a lot (and let me tell A LOT) of ideas for a sequel of AFTER they graduate high school (and she won't SHUT UP about them) so idk on that one. One question, what does 'idk' mean? Pearlness4700 uses it a lot and I haven't exactly grown up in the modern era from my story so...
P.N.4700; believe it or not, I actually did let her review this time, but, she has gotten a little (lot) off topic, so yeah. Thanks again!
DragonIceFury: did you forget your password or something? And thanks for all the comments, too.
Falcon88: haha, yep, that pretty much sums it up...
Kat Biersack: P.N.4700; may-
Grace; YES YES YES YES YES!
P.N.4700; *glares at Grace* MAYBE, I don't know yet. And it wouldn't come out for a while so if you want to keep reading my writing when I finish TSOKH then you'll just have to keep watch on The Shifters and maybe/maybe not Camp Frozen.
And guess what?! 400 REVIEWS PEOPLES! You all make me so happy ^-^ thank you all so, so much for taking the time to R&R!
Oh, and the song in this chapter is My Immortal by Evanescence.