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But Harry did not go to sleep. When he finally went upstairs, he took out his map and lay in bed, staring at it. He had taken to searching for Draco, no matter how much he didn't want to, and he noticed that Draco's dot still vanished sometimes. He had not stopped trying to figure out why, but he didn't have enough energy to follow him anymore. However, tonight, he did find Draco. What Harry couldn't understand was why the blonde was in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom this late at night. He noticed that the dot was not in a stall. It was by the sinks that led to the Chamber of Secrets, and it wasn't moving.

Harry waited. Ten minutes went by. Then twenty. The dot was still there. Harry wasn't a cruel person, and he knew that there was a reason Draco was in a bathroom at this time of night instead of his own room. Harry got out of bed as quietly as he could, threw his invisibility cloak on, and left Gryffindor. Something was wrong, and even though Draco made it clear that he didn't want Harry around, that they had broken up – Harry couldn't just leave him, especially knowing what Draco was most likely doing to himself in that bathroom.

Draco let his right arm fall to his lap, his fingers still clutching the knife. His left arm was littered with scabs and scars, but what he had done tonight were four cuts that went deeper than usual, though not like the one that marked the night he tried to kill himself. These new ones spanned between the middle of his arm to his elbow. Two of them cut through the initiate dark mark. The other two were below it. In fact, many of his cuts went through his mark, as if to deform it so much that it didn't work anymore. Of course he knew that was impossible. But it didn't matter. It still made him feel better – for a short time. Then, when the feelings of despair and hopelessness came back, he would make another few cuts. However, only making a few was unusual. Usually, he couldn't stop at just a few. He had to make ten or fifteen little cuts until he felt satisfied and sated. He knew it was barbaric – at least that's what he thought – but he couldn't help it. It had become an addiction, and it was the only thing that helped with his pain.

He leaned his back against the cold tile of the bathroom wall and sighed. Whenever he cut, his emotions went into overdrive. He felt despair, anger, depression, relief, and happiness all at once. The blood on his arm began to spill over the sides and onto his jeans.

"Scourgify."

The blood was cleaned away but it didn't stop welling up. He cast a few more cleaning spells until the blood slowed enough, and pulled down his sleeve. He was done for the night. Exhausted. Cutting did that to him; it exhausted his emotions to the point where he almost couldn't feel anymore. He couldn't cut anymore. He was so worn out that he barely heard the door open, or the swear word muttered by the figure now running towards him. He couldn't see who it was, either; he was behind the sinks. He was sitting with his back to the wall, his left leg straightened out in front of him and his right one slightly bent, his arms loosely at his sides, and his head bowed so that his hair fell in front of his eyes.

Harry rushed over to him, dropping his cloak on one of the sinks. Draco gave a start when he noticed Harry. Harry knelt beside Draco and took him into his arms after casting muffliato in case anyone patrolled the hallway outside. He was plenty surprised when the blonde leaned into him instead of pulling away, but the short happy feeling was stolen from him as soon as he saw the small amount of blood seeping through Draco's white sleeve. Harry's heart gave a lurch.

"Oh Draco…"

"I'm sorry," Draco choked out.

"It's okay."

"No. I yelled at you, and… told you to…"

"It's okay, Draco," Harry said a little more forcefully but still gently.

"I'm sorry. Please don't leave me."

"I'm not going to leave you. I promise."

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

Even though it was only two times that he saw Draco cry, it broke his heart. He always thought of him as a very strong person, but the fact that Draco let Harry see this side of him made Harry love him more. It proved that Draco was human. Wait… what? 'Love?' Harry was thunderstruck. He hadn't thought about that. Love… Draco? And yet, when he looked down at the blonde head resting against his shoulder, he felt himself fill with it, along with an enormously fierce feeling of protection that was somehow different from what he felt for Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. He realized that he really did love Draco, even though it has only been about a month and a half since they began their relationship.

Harry gently untangled himself and took Draco's left hand in his. As he started to pull the sleeve up, Draco seemed to spring back to life. He jerked his arm away from Harry and glared at him. "What are you doing?" he hissed. "Trying to see if I have a dark mark, are you?"

"No, I –"

"I see you look at my arm when you think I'm looking the other way. What's wrong, Potter? Are you scared that I might be a death eater? Is that what you think of me? Have you always wondered if I had the mark on my arm? Well what if I do? Could you deal with that?" He knew he was back to being defensive again, after he pleaded with Harry to never leave him, but he couldn't help it. The wall had been triggered and it took an enormous effort to bring it down.

"No. I wasn't looking for it." Draco looked mildly confused. "I wanted to see your cuts."

Draco's eyes widened in shock. "What?" The blonde kept his arm completely still, as if he thought it would make Harry think nothing was wrong. How the HELL did Harry know? "I do not… what the hell is wrong with you?"

Harry looked rejected and it put a stab through Draco's chest. "Why are you not being honest with me? Especially since there is clearly blood on your sleeve and a pocket knife in your hand. I know you're a private person, but it's me… I've known the whole time and I've never bothered you about it. Ever since I visited you in the hospital wing after I… after I hurt you."

This knowledge seemed to deflate Draco. "I knew it…"

"Huh?"

"I told Blaise I thought you saw them. I pulled my sleeve down when I noticed you were there… but you never said anything so I dropped it, assuming you didn't see them. Why have you never said anything?"

"I was waiting for you to open up to me about it. Then I saw you on the map I have… tonight… and I got worried. Even though you told me to stay away… I had to see if you were alright."

Draco took his sleeve and pulled it up. Harry winced at all of the cuts and scars on the white skin, especially at the new ones. Draco pulled his sleeve up around his elbow and Harry gasped when he saw the mark. Draco made up his mind, then. Harry's reaction saw to that. However, Draco took Harry's reaction the wrong way.

"Ugly, isn't it? I bet you hate me, now. Well? I DO have the mark, even if it is only an initiate one. I'm the one who made Madam Rosmerta curse Katie Bell. I'm the one who sent Dumbledore the necklace that Katie Bell was stupid enough to touch. I'm the one who accidentally poisoned Weasley because Slughorn was an idiot and didn't give it to Dumbledore. I'm the one who has to kill Dumbledore. Don't you get it? I have a mission. If I don't succeed, Voldemort will have someone rape my mother, kill her and my father, make me watch, and then kill me. As much as I want it, WE cannot BE."

Harry's eyes widened in horror. "Draco… please… you're taking it the wrong way..."

"NO. Stop it. I don't love you, Potter!"

While Harry's heart may have been torn in half, his determination and compassion never would. He knew that Draco wasn't the type of person who would be able to go through with this mission. "I… well maybe you don't, but I DO! Even though we haven't been together long, and damnit, I'm not going to just let you go over to HIS side. I'm NOT going to let him have you, control you, take your life away. Even if you don't love me, even if we never work out, I can't go through my life watching you suffer so don't think for a minute that I'm going to let you go through with your mission, and I won't let you or your parents die!"

For a moment, neither one of them said anything. Draco was too shocked to. He had not expected a declaration of love from Harry. He expected him to get upset and storm out. But he didn't. And therefore, his reaction was unplanned as well. "I… I DO! I do, Harry, but I can't!"

Before they could comprehend what was happening, they were kissing. You could say that Harry pulled Draco towards him, but it really doesn't matter. Draco clutched him like a lifeline.

After they pulled apart, Harry let his forehead rest on Draco's. "Is that why you never let me remove your shirt? Your cuts? Or your mark?"

"Both."

"Come with me." Harry stood and Draco looked at him, confused.

"Where?"

"Dumbledore."

"WHAT?! Are you out of your MIND?! Why would I go to him? I'm trying to kill him!"

"You need to tell him about your mission. He can help you, Draco."

"No!" Draco was panicking. "No! I can't! I won't! I…"

"Please." Harry's voice made Draco take a moment to hesitate and think. "He can help you. I can help you. The Order can help you. It's your way out of this." Harry sat back down and pulled Draco into his arms again. He rested his cheek on Draco's head and gently squeezed him. "There is a way out. Please, Draco. I won't let you go to Voldemort. Please let us help you. Please trust me. Snape is in the Order. Doesn't he know about all of this?"

"… He does…"

"Can't he help you, too, then?"

"He could…"

"You should probably talk to him about it."

Draco nodded. Then… "Harry…"

"Yes?"

"I need to… tell you something." Draco's heart was hammering in his chest. His head was swimming from anxiety and fear.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"I…" Draco's heart was nearly leaping from his body, now. He felt like he couldn't do it, but he had to. "You deserve an explanation… of why I pushed you away." Harry swallowed. "I…" His breath was getting caught in his throat. "I tried to… I almost…"

"Draco, what is it? You're scaring me," Harry said with a shaky voice. He squeezed Draco's hand a little more to reassure him, but the blonde sat up to look at Harry.

"I almost… uh… FUCK. I can't say it."

"Then show me, if you can."

Draco thought about that. 'I can do that…' He pulled up his sleeve again and showed Harry the deep cut on his wrist that was still a little scabbed. It was much worse than the others Harry saw a few minutes ago; he must have glanced over it. He suddenly understood what Draco was trying to tell him. He looked up at his lover's grey eyes with widened ones of his own and began to hyperventilate.

"No!"

"Harry…"

"ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I COULD HAVE LOST YOU AND I NEVER WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHY?!"

Draco winced. He didn't expect this – he never expects the reactions he gets from Harry. "I'm… I'm sorry…"

"THIS is why you broke it off with me?!" Tears spilled down his cheeks. "DRACO HOW COULD YOU?!"

Draco took him into a tight hug when he heard Harry's voice crack. He breathed in Harry's scent – the scent he smelled when they made Amortentia in potions just a few weeks before. "I'm sorry. I was in over my head. I was really stressed, I didn't know you loved me, and I thought that it would be easier to just die instead of watch my loved ones be killed by him. It was incredibly selfish, I know that. Blaise made that very clear. As did Snape. They were the ones who saved my life. I didn't want to keep this from you. I'm sorry. Maybe I should have."

Harry was shaking, now, and every few seconds, Draco heard and felt a deep breath escape from him. He hated that he made Harry feel this way, but he had to tell him.

Harry took a deep breath. "No. I'm glad you told me. No secrets, okay? No more secrets."

"No. No more secrets."

They held each other for what seemed like an hour, though it was only about twenty minutes. Then Draco agreed to see Dumbledore.

"Come in," came a voice on the other side of the large door. Draco and Harry opened it and stepped inside, meeting a very surprised Dumbledore.

"Good evening, boys. What can I do for you this fine evening?"

"I'm sorry to disturb you so late, Professor," Harry said, "but we wouldn't have come if it wasn't so urgent."

"Of course. I thought as much. Sit, sit. Would you like tea? I just made some. It's decaf, I'm afraid; I can't take black tea at this time of night anymore. I'm getting too old." He seemed happy with himself and levitated the tea tray over to the table in front of his desk when Harry and Draco nodded their heads. When he sat at his desk, he placed his hands on top of it and clasped them. "Now. What can I do for you?" he asked again.

To say Dumbledore was a little surprised when Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter came through his door together was one thing. To say he was beyond shocked when Harry placed a comforting hand on Draco's shoulder would be an understatement.

Draco took a deep breath. "I… have to tell you something important… regarding a mission I was given"

"Ah, the mission. Yes, I heard about that."

Draco's eyes bugged. "You know?"

"Not what it is, no. But I do know that you were given one by Voldemort himself. To gain back your father's honor and keep both yourself and your parents alive, I presume?" Draco nodded. "I see. I admire that you are coming to me about this. I had hoped you would."

Draco looked at his lap. "I'm sorry it took me so long."

"Don't be, my boy. Don't be."

"Draco?" Harry asked. Draco nodded, not looking at Harry.

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at Harry's use of Draco's first name, and put all of the signs together but decided not to say anything about it, as interesting as it was. "What is your mission, Mr. Malfoy?"

"… Murder."

Dumbledore looked grave. "Who is it that you have to murder?" he said in a voice that told them he already knew the answer.

"You." Draco said this last bit very quietly while looking at his knees, but Dumbledore heard it.

He leaned back in his chair, hands still clasped, and had a worried expression on his old face. "Yes, I thought it might be something like that but I must admit, I feel very safe."

Draco and Harry looked up at him, confusion written all over their faces.

"Sir?" Draco asked.

"Well your attempts seemed quite like you did not have your heart in them at all. I knew someone was trying to do me in but it was obvious that they were not trying hard enough. I am glad you told me, Draco. That is a very admirable thing to do. I assume it was Harry who suggested it?"

"He and Blaise Zabini, sir. And Snape."

"Perhaps they put the idea in your head, but you acted on your own accord. One hundred points to Slytherin for bravery, I suppose, but fifteen taken away… well I must punish you somehow for your earlier half-hearted efforts, I suppose… and fifty to each Harry and Mr. Zabini."

"Thank you, sir," the two shocked boys both said.

"Now. What to do about this mess. Will you join the Order?"

"You want me to join? After everything I've done?" Draco asked, astonished. Harry gave him an 'I-told-you-so' look.

"None of those things held your true intentions, did they? I will speak to the Order about what you have told me, and I will speak to Severus alone. Is he opposed to you telling me this?"

"No, sir. Well, he wasn't when Blaise mentioned it in front of him last week."

"Very good. Are you willing to make an unbreakable vow to not go back on your word or tell Voldemort what the Order talks about?"

"Yes, sir," Draco said more forcefully. He seemed better already, Harry thought.

"Quite good. Come here, Draco. You too, Harry."

"Sir?"

"I believe it is time for you to join. You may not be seventeen yet but that matters not in the times we are in."

"Thank you, sir."

That night, Harry slept in Draco's bed. The blonde had not wanted to be alone, and truthfully, neither did Harry. He woke up the next morning feeling happier, more energized, and more awake than he had felt since Draco broke up with him.

Harry got up to put his clothes on and go to class when Draco woke. "'Arry?"

"Hm?" Harry paused to turn and look at Draco. All they had done last night was sleep in each other's arms, but they stripped down to their boxers nonetheless. It did get hot under those comforters. The curtains were drawn around the bed and a sound spell had been cast so that Blaise and Theo wouldn't know Harry was there.

"Don't leave…" Draco said sleepily.

"I have to go to class," Harry whispered. "And so do you."

"Urgh... I know…"

Harry crawled back towards Draco and draped his body over his. "I'm not leaving, Draco. Not now, not ever. Not even if you tell me to. Alright?" Draco gave him a sleepy smile and nodded. "However, if we don't get out of bed, we won't get breakfast." 'Also, we'll never get out of here if I don't move away from you right now,' he thought; they both had morning wood and they both knew it. But before he could move, he felt Draco's hands on his hips pulling him down and he couldn't pull himself away if he tried.

Draco leaned up for a passionate kiss as he ground his hips against Harry's, earning a deep groan from him. They had never been together with most of their clothes off before, so neither was willing to ruin the moment. Draco's need for dominance won out, and he flipped them over so he was on top. "You're sure no one can hear us?" Harry asked. His answer came in the form of neck biting and hip grinding, and he couldn't stop the moan that escaped. "We're gonna miss breakfast."

"Do you care?"

"No," Harry said breathlessly as Draco's erection slowly rubbed against his.

"Good," came the blonde's hungry response. They feverishly gripped each other, Draco's arms around Harry's back and Harry's around Draco's hips. They moved quicker and more forceful by the second until they both came. They held each other until their breath came back and Draco moved off of Harry.

"I'll get dressed and leave first and I'll meet up with you later," Harry said. "Scourgify."

Draco nodded. "Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"I…."

Harry's heart swelled and a brilliant smile crossed his face. "Me too."

"How do you know what I was going to say?"

"Because it was written on your face, and I know you don't feel comfortable with saying things like that."

Draco grinned and threw the covers back over his head – but to no avail. Harry grabbed them and pulled.

"Hey!"

The brunette snorted and, after sticking his head out of the curtains to see if the coast was clear, he exited before putting his invisibility cloak on. However, as he was in the process of doing this, Blaise suddenly emerged from the curtains around his own bed, stopped in his tracks, grinned, winked at Harry, and proceeded to the bathroom. Harry's jaw dropped and he stuck his head back into Draco's curtains.

"Zabini knows about us?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry. Forgot to tell you."

"Oh…"

And with that, Harry put on his cloak and left Slytherin.

I hope you enjoyed that! They're finally back together…and in love. :D Draco's an idiot, I know. But love isn't easy and they never would have realized it if something like that didn't happen. Thanks for reading!