I narrowly made it to the mansion as the sun rose on the horizon. What I would do to be able to go out into the sun.
Killing obviously won't do it. I'd tried it uncountable times.
The first thing to meet me was Spike…in his wheelchair. "Well, hello, Angelus. What have you found about the slayer this time?" he asked, bitterness radiating in his voice.
He was obviously putting up an act for Drusilla. Poor fool. She was only using him. "Nothing of your concern, Mr. Whealy" I replied. I winced at myself. I was really out of it, if I couldn't think of a simple name Spike.
"Mr. Whealy? Where did you get that one, Dawson's Creek?" Spike asked with a tongue-in-cheek smile. I ignored him, trying my best not to get annoyed.
I had to admit I agreed with Angel on one thing. Spike was a pain in my ass. Less like a friend, more like an inedible little brother.
I sighed to myself as I walked past him. I walked off to the room where I thought. Spike would never let me be about my 'thinking space'. Yes, even the soulless villain had problems.
"Have fun 'working out your problems'. Have you thought about seeing Dr. Phil?" he asked, sarcastically. I tensed my muscles, ignoring his comment.
I closed the door, which was made of pure steel.
It kept everything else out, if I kept my instincts human. I hated myself whenever I lowered myself to using my human instincts.
But it was the only way to keep the sound of the disgusting lips of Spike touching my creation's skin out.
I shuddered.
I focused my thoughts on one thing only. What had happened to me tonight? My plan had worked out perfectly.
I remembered every move she made and every look she had on her face.
I even remembered her eyes. A picture of her dancing, fiery eyes jumped into my mind.
I found myself breathing hard at the perfect image I saw of her. She was absolutely….an abomination.
I forced myself to think the word.
The feeling I had had tonight was so strange. When I had seen that look in her eyes, I had almost drowned in my satisfaction. But that's not what had confused me.
When I was almost all the way in the darkness, I found myself looking into something bright. It wasn't the blinding light of my soul. It was something else….
I couldn't even identify it.
It was so odd. I was so off, with this condition I have. I didn't feel guilty for my actions. So my soul was gone, thank the heavens. So why did I feel this away about Buffy?
Or an even simpler question, what was it I was feeling? Her dead, burning eyes sprung into my mind again. The same feeling jumped free again and I clutched my stomach in emotional pain.
What was going on? It was as if I was feeling her pain within myself!
How could I be feeling this way? I was evil. I couldn't feel this way.
For the entire day, I looked out the window.
I was so lost on why I felt this way.
Pained and longing for something…warm. Buffy's hand. I clutched my hands in anger. I sighed out through my teeth.
The sun finally began to set, and I prepared myself to observe her again. To find her weakness.
To find what will be her death.