Chapter 4

I can't believe we're in this mess, I thought with pangs of fear rippling through my body like an ocean wave. These attacks were having an affect on Duke. Ever since that night--that beautiful, magical night—things began to change between us. And not for the better.

Duke's mood was even more bleak than usual. I wanted—I had—to see what's up.

"Hey, Duke," I said cautiously, tiptoeing up to him in my beanbag chair, but he was lost in thoughts. I pranced over and draped myself across his lap and nuzzled his neck gently. He gave a slight grin and slipped his arms slowly and deliberately around my waist, binding me to him. Duke's eyes were misty and glazed over, and I could tell he wasn't paying attention. How was I supposed to get some answers out of him? A thought came to me and I grinned viciously.

Clamping myself to him by taking a fistful of his shirt in each of my hands, I shut my eyes and sighed, letting the cool breeze of my breath graze his skin. He gave a slight whimper and held me tighter. That's more like it, I thought, curling my fingers into his hair and pressing my lips to his. We were entwined together as much as possible, and his reaction surprised me. He latched onto me, his tongue peeling my lips apart violently. Soon he was on top of me, pressing me tighter against him, and I couldn't breathe. My grip of love became a grip of fear. My hands began attempting to rip him off me by his hair, but he took both my hands in one of his and held them tightly to him until I thought my fingers would snap. I hated this. I hated it and it had to stop.

"Duke!" I shouted and pushed him off me with all my might, causing him to stumble backwards and hit his head on the desk. He crumpled to the floor, a puppet whose strings had been cut. I backed away until my body hit the wall, shaking and convulsing wildly.

He looked up at me and croaked, "Madison…Madi, I-I'm sorry." And he slumped against the wall, unconscious.

After that, I fell into a dark, fitful sleep, filled with screams and Duke's scent wafting off him, but now, it suffocated me. I awoke choking and drenched in cold sweat, nervous about what I might find.

The window had been broken open, making a small slip of paper on my desk flap and shake on the breeze like an injured bird. I rose and walked slowly, zombie-like, over to my desk, clamping my hand over the paper. It read:

Madi,

I'm so sorry. I have left to sort things out. You can come to my house

tomorrow to see me. We can leave, Madi, and solve this mystery together.

All you have to do is trust me.

Love, Duke

I screamed. Throwing on slippers, a coat and a hat I ran down the stairs, flinging the door open so it banged against the wall and flying down the street as if my feet had wings. I got on his house and pounded on the door as if my life depended on it, and it did. I knew in my soul I couldn't live without him. This is why my insides were filled with cold, icelike dread when Duke's mother opened the door. She was sobbing, coughs racking her whole body until she could barely choke out: "Oh, Madison, I-I-I'm sorry…he's gone."

I was getting out, once and for all. My life would be nothing without him, with only God to comfort me, a black abyss of pain and despair until my soul shriveled up into nothing, wrung of all life and happiness. Throwing some clothes and food into a backpack, I shimmied into what clothes I thought were pure necessity. My limbs were heavy and sluggish with fear and grief, so it took almost all my energy to do these simple things. Looking around my room, I decided there was nothing left to get. I scribbled a note to my mom, salty, scorching hot tears smearing the ink. Words were meaningless anyway. Taping it to the refrigerator, I dashed out the door, pulling my collar tight around my face as the cool November wind chilled my bones. Stumbling around to the end of my driveway, I looked around, wondering where to start. How is this going to help anything? I thought bitterly, cursing myself. He told me to go after him, or at least come with him. I'm doing what he wanted—what he still wants. That's what I told myself over and over. But I didn't believe it.

Picking his way in between the trees, Duke looked over his shoulder. He could still see the smoke rising from chimney tops in the distance. No. He wasn't far enough away. Yet. Duke didn't even know why he ran away from Madison. He didn't know how this was going to help him solve this mystery. He just knew he had to get away. Lost in thought, Duke didn't realize where he was going. Suddenly, branches snapping with every little movement, he fell onto the forest floor, emitting bloodcurdling screams as the wide, open gash in his leg swelled, breaking skin and making nerves stand on end. Choking on his own tears, he slumped against the tree trunks, waiting for daylight to break the horizon.

"Duke!" I called desperately, stumbling through the underbrush, branches scratching my arms and face as I viciously beat them away. "Duke!" I yelled at one final attempt at finding him. Then I heard a weak squeal from under the heavy brush.

"Madi?" it croaked.

"Duke!" I screamed, and lunged for the pit. All me energy was focused on breathing and digging; no matter how many injuries it took. My vision was blurred as hot tears traced smooth paths down my stricken face, not stopping until finally Duke was free. I couldn't say anything, so I wrapped my arms around him, but I wasn't sure if I was hugging him or keeping him alive.

"Look, Duke, please tell me what happened yesterday…you were scaring me. Please tell me." Duke began to cry softly. It tore my soul to pieces to see him sitting there, so weak and venerable. I gently slipped myself onto his lap and snuggled against his chest. He gave a shaky sigh and wrapped his arms softly around me, as if he was afraid he was going to hurt me physically.

"Madi, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. It's these attacks, Madi. They're scaring me, too." His face was ashen and panic stricken. It broke my heart, and soon I was crying, too.

"Don't worry," I sniffed through my tears. "I love you, Duke. Never forget that. I love you, and we're in this together." He sighed and stroked my hair, nuzzling and kissing my neck very gently. I didn't know what to do. Duke's pain tore me apart from the inside out. I sobbed once, crushed myself against Duke's chest, and let the tears fall.