Fragments of Us

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Warnings: None for this chapter.

Chapter 28 – Debriefings & Recovery

Sirius insisted on staying with Remus long after he fell asleep and Kate knew better than to argue with him. Instead, she finally got him to agree that she would sleep for a couple of hours then return and take his place while he slept for awhile. Kate kissed Remus' cheek, then Sirius' lips gently and left to get some rest. Sirius still held Remus' hand and watched him intently as if he could ensure that no harm would come to him as long as Sirius remained with him.

When Kate returned some 3 hours later, Sirius was in the same position as when she had left, but his chin rested on his chest and his even breathing offered proof that finally, he slept. Kate glanced over at Remus and found him awake, a small smile on his face. Kate found herself welling up at the sight, a fact that was not lost on her friend. "Sorry," Kate whispered, grimacing and gesturing toward her eyes. "Can't help myself."

Kate reached over to the table where Poppy had placed the various potions Remus would need throughout the night. "Sorry," she said again. "I have to give you this." 'This' turned out to be a blood-replenishing potion that tasted vile, but Remus fought it down gamely. "Thank you," she whispered. Remus gestured toward the sleeping Sirius. "Is he ok?" he whispered faintly.

Kate followed his gaze then looked back at Remus. She sat down in her chair and smiled at the werewolf. "He will be. Your injuries were a shock to him. He had been worried at your absence and anxious to see you so the two of you could talk." Kate paused at the sound of a small snore from the topic of their conversation and waited until she was sure he was still asleep before continuing. "You should not be carrying on a conversation, my friend. You need your rest." Kate rose, intending to wake Sirius so he could go to his room and sleep. A hand reached out and caught hers in a surprisingly strong grasp. When Kate turned, Remus was looking at her intently. She raised an eyebrow, but sat back down in her chair. Looking over at Remus, Kate noticed a thin sheen of perspiration on his forehead. "I'll be right back, I promise," she whispered and crossed to the bathroom. Returning to her seat a few moments later, Kate showed Remus the cool, damp flannel she'd brought with her and she began to smooth it gently over his face. "You're still a bit warm," she said, after she'd dried his face, helped him drink a full glass of cold water and sat down again.

Remus nodded. "My body temperature is always a bit higher than most, anyway," he said quietly.

Kate nodded. "You look a bit better. The bruising is gone and your lip is healed. It's remarkable, really."

Remus gave her a small smile. "Accelerated healing and an elevated body temperature are both characteristics of lycanthropy."

"You're too thin and you still look exhausted. I'd like you to get some rest, Remus. Please," Kate responded, taking his other hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. While she'd been able to hold it together initially – largely to be supportive of Sirius – Kate found her emotions getting the better of her now that Remus appeared to be on the mend. Aside from Sirius, Remus was her best friend and Kate was suddenly hit with the reality of how close she came to losing him. It was almost more than she could bear and she laid her cheek against Remus' hand and began to cry. As she did so, Kate felt Remus shift his hand and place it on top of her head, stroking her hair and making very quiet, shushing sounds to comfort her. After awhile, Kate lifted her head and wiped the tears from her face with a wry smile. "Not quite fair asking the patient to provide the comfort, is it?" she whispered.

Remus lifted his hand and wiped away a stray tear. "There was a time in my life when I never thought anyone would cry because they feared losing me. Although I hate to see you cry, I cannot tell you what it means to me to have friends like you – and Sirius – to whom I mean something."

Kate sniffled. "'Something'? Remus, you mean the world to both of us. You heard Sirius. He called you 'brother'. He doesn't mean that lightly, you know."

Remus nodded and swallowed audibly. "I know." He turned and looked sharply at Kate. "I always thought it was James, you know. That he considered James his best mate, his brother. It was never a role I thought he associated with me."

"James was his best mate and a brother. But it was different – just as true siblings are different. James was his mate, his partner in crime, as it were. They plotted together, commiserated over girls, teachers, homework and OWLS together. James was also from a pureblood family – albeit a sane one – and that's where their roads forked. James never really understood Sirius, although he loved him and stood by him through everything. What Sirius – and Lily recognized was that you and Sirius were two of a kind. You – an incredibly intelligent, kind and gentle man, suffering a curse you neither asked for nor deserved. You struggled mightily to rise above it and not allow it to define who you are. Sirius was – is – a pure blood wizard, shunned by his family because he didn't accept their ideals and pure blood caste system. He was saddled with a name that didn't really apply to him, but which defined him to some people. You, Remus, accepted Sirius for who he was – as a person, not as a last name. You accepted him warts and all. That's what "brothers do", to throw your words back at you. You loved him as a brother. You became his rock."

Remus' eyes were suspiciously bright as he nodded. "As he did for me."

"As he did for you," Kate confirmed.

"Mooney?" Sirius' sleep-roughened voice drifted across the bed to them. Both Remus and Kate turned their attention to their raven-haired companion, currently struggling to awaken. When his blue eyes landed on Remus' face, Sirius was suddenly fully awake, his expression one of pure joy and relief. "Mooney!" he exclaimed, his voice cracking just the tiniest bit. Kate and Remus exchanged a small smile and Remus looked back at his friend. "Padfoot!" he replied, smiling at him, his voice still weak, but warm nonetheless.

"Mooney, how are you feeling? All healed now?" Sirius asked, anxiously. He was intimately familiar with the werewolf's accelerated healing properties from their days at school but, like Madam Pomfrey, Remus' unconsciousness had concerned him greatly. "You still need to rest, you know. Just because some of the healing has happened, it doesn't mean the process is complete. You need to lay low for awhile until you're stronger. Merlin, how long has it been since you ate?" Sirius' extreme relief that his friend seemed out of danger manifested itself in an explosion of babble. Remus gave a small huff of laughter then grimaced slightly at the strain this put on his recently healed ribs. Sirius immediately fell silent and regarded Remus worriedly.

"Ok, Mooney," he said. "No more talk. Rest. Did you take your potions?" this said with an eyebrow cocked at Kate. As she nodded, he continued, "Fine, fine, then. We'll go. You sleep. We'll be back to check on you later." And, with that, Sirius came round the foot of Remus' bed, took a very amused Kate by her elbow and guided her to the door. "Sleep well, Remus," he called, closing the door behind them.

Remus found himself looking bemusedly at the closed door for a few moments before smiling softly and closing his eyes to rest. He was already asleep when the door opened some fifteen minutes later and Sirius slipped back into the room. Settling himself in what had become "his" chair, and taking one more glance at his friend, Sirius opened the book of Charms he'd brought with him and began to read.

….

Kate went downstairs to find Dumbledore seated with Molly and Arthur, chatting over a cup of tea. He greeted Kate warmly, asking after both Remus and Sirius. Molly placed a cup of tea in front of Kate as she gave the group a quick update on the werewolf's condition. Albus expressed relief that Remus appeared to be on the road to recovery, but remained cautiously optimistic pending Poppy's examination and opinion, which would come later that day. After spending an hour or so speaking with the group of concerned Order members, Kate rose and said she was going to bring some breakfast up to Sirius – and force-feed it to him, if necessary.

"He's not eaten yet today and is dead on his feet in the bargain," she explained. "Almost losing a man he considers his brother has taken an emotional toll on him. I can't control his emotions, but I can make sure he eats."

Molly stood from her place at the table and began to fix a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and coffee. Kate added some orange slices and, before she picked up the tray, leaned over and gave Molly a brief kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Molly," Kate said, sincerely. "I know that Sirius will appreciate this very much."

Molly flushed to the roots of her equally red hair and shooed Kate out of the room with her food. "Just make sure he eats," she called after Kate. "Merlin, when that man turns sideways, you can't see him he's so thin!" she muttered to herself as she set the pans to wash themselves in the sink.

Kate approached Remus' door and opened it using a quickly whispered spell, sparing the need for her to juggle the tray while wrestling with the doorknob. As she quietly closed the door behind her, Kate gave her eyes a couple of moments to adjust to the dimness of the room before moving forward. As she set the tray on the window seat, she heard Sirius stir, then rise from his chair. Kate poured him a cup of hot coffee and was adding cream when she felt his chin on her shoulder and his arms come 'round her waist. "What have you got there?" he whispered.

"Breakfast for you," Kate replied quietly. "Eggs, bacon, toast, coffee. And you are going to sit down and consume every morsel of this food, Mr. Black."

Sirius turned and glanced over his shoulder at Remus, who slept on, completely oblivious to their presence. Kate reached up and turned his face gently toward her. "He's asleep; nothing is going to happen to him while you eat…and you must eat, Sirius. You may turn out to be the one person Remus chooses to confide in about what happened to him out there and you've got to be able to hold it together and listen to him if he does. To do that, you've got to eat and rest so you'll be better able to control your emotions. If you're run down physically, that will be more difficult to do. You know that." Kate kissed his lips gently, then handed him his coffee. "Sit down, ok?" Sirius dipped his head and kissed her again, softly but with a bit of possessiveness he hadn't shown since their initial reunion. "Ok," he said after he'd broken the kiss, taking a moment to run his tongue over his lower lip before adding. "Although I can't imagine anything on this tray will taste that good."

Kate shakily renewed the warming charms on his food and gently stepped away from him so he would sit down and eat. With a smile, Sirius did so, taking a generous mouthful of coffee. "Ah," he said, swallowing. "Perfect. If I'd had to drink one more drop of tea, I would have gone out on that ledge." He said, gesturing to the window with his fork. Those were the last words Sirius uttered until he had polished off his breakfast. He looked up at Kate, amusement in his eyes and said, "'Every morsel', Ms. Morgan; you see, I do take instructions from time to time."

Kate smiled at him. "Proof that miracles do happen."

"Now, that's a welcome sight," came a rasping voice from the direction of the bed.

Sirius almost knocked the tray off the window seat in his haste to get over to Remus and Kate shook her head, smiling, as she followed him.

"Mooney!" Sirius exclaimed, sitting down and putting his hand on Remus' arm. "How are you feeling?"

Remus' expression softened as he looked from Sirius to Kate. She dropped him a wink from her place behind the dark-haired wizard and Remus shifted his attention back to his friend. "Better, Padfoot. And I'm glad to see that you two seem to be better as well."

Kate put her hand on Sirius' shoulder and squeezed it gently. "We're working on it," she said softly. Sirius reached up and covered her hand with his own for a moment. "Yes, we are," he confirmed, glancing around at Kate for a moment.

Kate smiled at Remus. "I'll leave you boys alone for awhile. Remus, you need to keep your fluids up, so please try to drink as much water as you can. It won't be a struggle to get Sirius here to help you. When Poppy arrives, we'll see what she says about food, ok?" At his nod, she retrieved the now empty breakfast tray and headed for the door. "Don't overdo it," she called over her shoulder and in the next moment, the door clicked shut quietly behind her.

"So, you figured it out, did you?" Remus asked, grimacing as he tried to shift into a more comfortable position.

Sirius was immediately on his feet, conjuring several fresh, squashy pillows and helping Remus settle into a more elevated position against them. "There, Mooney. For the love of Merlin, ask for help if you need it! That's why I'm here!"

"Ah, thank you for clearing that up, Pads," the werewolf responded. "But you didn't answer my question."

Sirius drew his chair closer to the head of the bed and sat down. He looked Remus in the eye and spoke, "I figured it out. Now, comes the harder part … control."

Remus nodded. "You'll get there, Pads," he affirmed and Sirius nodded.

"Have to. I promised Kate – and myself," and, with that, Sirius pulled the promise ring from beneath his robes and told Remus the story of his confrontation with Kate and of their new resolve.

"I'm proud of you, Sirius," Remus said quietly when the other man had finished speaking. "Really proud of you. This is not an easy path to walk, but you're doing it."

Sirius was quiet for a moment. "Remember that night in the kitchen when Bill punched me?" At Remus' nod, he continued, head down. "What bothered me the most was when you said that I was on my own, that you were sick of trying to explain things to me. You were away for the Order so, even though Kate and I had started talking, I couldn't tell you. Remus, all I could think of was that if something had happened to you, I would always remember that our last conversation had been a bad one because I'd bollixed it up again."

"Sirius, look at me," Remus said, his voice quiet but commanding. As the other man complied, he spoke again. "I wasn't angry with you, Padfoot. I was frustrated with you…and myself. I couldn't think of anything else to do or say to help you and I was watching you lose an opportunity to regain some happiness. You've lost so many years; I just didn't want you to lose any more. Sirius, I abandoned you once – and lost you to Azkaban. I'm never going to make that mistake again, old friend."

Sirius nodded and gripped Remus' hand. "Neither will I," he said.

They were silent for awhile, then Sirius spoke again. "What happened out there, Remus? Dumbledore said he'd sent you out to the ferals. He said that your mission was to try to convince them that they should not join forces with Voldemort – no matter what he promised them for doing so. I'm guessing you ran into some opposition."

Remus lay back against the pillows and closed his eyes wearily for a moment. "Sirius, could you give me some of that water, please?" Sirius moved swiftly to pour a tall glass for the werewolf and helped steady it in Remus' hands so he could drink. Once Remus had drunk his fill, Sirius helped him to re-settle comfortably.

"Sirius," Remus said. "Could you please check with Kate to see if Dumbledore left word when he'll be back? I'd like to avoid telling this story more than once and he should hear it first-hand."

"Of course, Mooney," Sirius said immediately. "I'll be back in a moment."

As he crossed the room, Sirius heard voices from the hallway. He opened the door to find Kate, Poppy and Albus standing before him, Albus' hand poised as if to knock.

"Ah, Sirius," the old wizard smiled. "How nice to see you again."

"Albus, do you, by any chance, have any Seers in your family?" Sirius asked, glancing over his shoulder at Remus, his look incredulous.

Albus' eyes twinkled merrily. "My grandmother," he confirmed, entering the room.

Sirius closed the door behind Kate and turned to face the bed. "That would explain it, then."

After Poppy had performed several complicated diagnostic spells and had overseen Remus' consumption of several additional potions, the Healer pronounced that he was out of danger and on his way to recovery. Again, she reminded everyone that Remus was to avoid exertion and take the prescribed potions according to the schedule she put onto a piece of parchment and left with Kate. After she had left, Albus conjured a chair and moved it to the opposite side of the bed from Sirius' position.

"I'm sorry, my boy," Albus said putting his hand on Remus' arm. "You've suffered a great deal with this assignment."

"I knew the risks," Remus said, quietly. "And there was no one else to send, was there?"

Albus – and Sirius – remained silent.

"It was the pack we felt had gone to ground outside Ulster," Remus continued, his eyes closing once more. "I had begun to make some inroads with one or two newer pack members – youngsters, really. Being newly turned, they hadn't made any kind of deep connections and were more open to listening to me. Unfortunately, "more open" turned to "deeply passionate" and they decided to try to speak with a few of the older members – one of whom turned out to be Clarion Meadows." Remus paused here and looked directly at Sirius, whose eyes had widened in surprise.

"Dorcas' Meadows brother?" he asked, incredulously.

Remus nodded. "He disappeared just before James and Lily were attacked. We never found any sign of him. Fairly consistent occurrence, as you'll recall." Sirius looked grim as Remus continued. "Turns out, Clarion had gone out the night the Death Eaters had murdered Dorcas. He was looking for revenge, as you would expect; he found Greyback, who turned him. Greyback filled him full of promises – revenge for his sister, full protection from persecution and the like. He sealed the bargain by telling Clarion that Dorcas had died because the Light could not protect her. Whatever happened, the Ministry – and all who did not follow Voldemort – would perish. He convinced Clarion that the only way he could survive was to align himself with the ferals, with the Dark Lord, and enjoy the spoils of victory after the fact. Clarion allowed himself to be convinced…obviously. Both of the new members were killed, I'm not sure by whom, but I have my suspicions. Clarion recognized me, but I didn't know that until … well, let's just say that I realized too late that I'd been recognized. I'm sorry Albus. Apparently, I'm not a very convincing spy," Remus finished wearily.

"Nothing for which to apologize, dear boy," Albus replied. "You carried out your mission admirably. You could not have foreseen the existence of a classmate long thought to be dead. You did everything you could do. I thank you and want you to take time to fully recuperate from your injuries."

Remus opened his eyes and looked at the man who had truly been his mentor for so many years. "My responsibility to the Order…" he began, his voice roughened from overuse.

"Will continue with a new assignment once your recovery is complete," Albus finished. "You have given enough of yourself to this task. Rest, now. More work will come your way, I assure you. There is much for each of us to do." As he finished, Albus met Sirius' gaze, as well. "And that will include you, as well, Sirius."

Sirius nodded and turned back to Remus. He was unsurprised to see that his friend was again asleep.

"Let's leave him for now," the Headmaster said quietly. "I believe Molly has some excellent chocolate fudge cake in the kitchen and, as you know, I've been rumored to have something of a sweet tooth. Shall we?"

Kate and Sirius allowed themselves to be herded from the room by the Headmaster, turning to take one last look at their sleeping friend as the door swung closed behind them.