Fragments of Us
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Warnings: None for this chapter.
Chapter 29 – Preparing for the Party
With Remus back and convalescing well, energies turned to preparing for the New Year's Eve get-together. All those invited had confirmed attendance at the New Year's Eve gathering, although it was rumored that Severus Snape had required a bit more "encouragement" from Dumbledore than any other Order member. Hermione's parents were happy to allow their daughter to stay with her friends at Grimmauld Place and she had arrived early on the morning of the 30th, ready to pitch in and help wherever she was needed. Sirius had not missed an opportunity to mention just how much happier Ron appeared to be once Hermione was in the house, and Harry had sniggered at his comment. Ron, however, had simply turned scarlet and left the room.
Molly and Kate had been working diligently to prepare food for both the New Year's Eve party and the dinner the following day. With the arrival of Hermione, Molly shooed Kate out of the kitchen and enlisted the help of both Ginny and Hermione to finish the last of the preparations. Sirius had suggested that everyone dress up for the occasion (to which Remus had dryly responded that he would arrive in "white tie and bandages"). Kate had yet to figure out what she would wear. Taking advantage of the arrival of extra hands, however, she retired to her room to finish up some work in relative peace and quiet. Once that was out of the way, she would focus on her dress for the following evening.
Working her way through the two files that remained from the workload she brought from the office, Kate had no sooner placed them back in her briefcase when there was a soft knock on her door. "Yes?" she called, turning toward the door as it opened.
A bright pink head peered round the slightly opened door. "Kate?"
The elder Auror smiled. "Tonks, hello. What can I do for you?"
Tonks came into the room closing the door behind her. As she approached Kate, the toe of her heavy boot caught the fringe on Kate's scatter rug and the young woman pitched forward, hitting the corner of Kate's armoire and swearing at the contact. "Bugger!" came the annoyed comment, as Tonks rubbed her bruised hip. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "Mum would have my guts for garters if she could hear me."
Kate laughed. "Well, then – it's a good job that she can't, eh?" Kate paused a moment and looked at the young woman. It seemed obvious that she had something on her mind.
'Did you want to see me about something in particular, Tonks?" Kate asked settling back in her chair as Tonks perched on the end of Kate's bed.
"Yes," she exhaled gustily, her eyes changing from deep violet to a blue-gray. "Kate, I want to ask you about … well, about Remus," she paused.
Kate's face softened. Finally. "What about Remus?"
The young woman's face flushed and she twisted her hands in her lap as she began to speak. "Oh, Kate, I…well, we sort of got to be mates over the summer, hanging out with Sirius and trying to keep him entertained and happy in this great horror of a house, but now…" Tonks looked up from her hands. "Now…"
Kate smiled. "Now you feel something more for him; you fancy him, yes?"
Tonks sighed. "Yeah, I do fancy him, but it's more than that, Kate. I feel more for him than that. I think I might love him…"
"Have you told him?" Kate asked.
Tonks jumped up and started to pace. Kate wondered, absently if explosive pacing during times of high emotion was something unique to the Black family. Sirius had the routine down pat and now it appeared his younger cousin was similarly gifted.
"That's just it, Kate. I start to flirt a bit and he starts to flirt back and I flirt some more and all of a sudden – just when I'm beginning to think he actually might feel something for me too, he … bolts. Yeah, bolts. That's a good word for it. He just takes off, mumbling some excuse or other. Load of bollocks, if you ask me," she huffed, sitting back on the bed, her face dejected.
Kate leaned over and placed her hand over Tonks', to still her fidgeting. "Well, he can't very well 'bolt' these days can he?" she asked. "Tonks, if you want him, go after him. But, you're going to have to be subtle. Remus has … well, self esteem issues is probably the best way of putting it. Do you understand what I'm talking about?"
Tonks nodded. "The werewolf thing."
Kate held back a smile. "Yes, 'the werewolf thing'," she confirmed.
"But, Kate – who cares? I mean, he's only a werewolf one night a month and he takes the Wolfsbane to control it. It's not who he really is. Doesn't he deserve to have a relationship? Doesn't he deserve to be happy?" Tonks looked at Kate, her heart showing all over her face.
"Yes, Tonks, he does deserve those things. But one thing you must remember if you're to have any kind of chance at a relationship with Remus: he is not a werewolf one night a month. He is a werewolf every day of his life. He just takes the form of the wolf at the full moon. You must understand that, Tonks. The curse from which Remus suffers is something that is with him all the time. It is something he fights to control every single day of his life. Until someone actually finds a cure for lycanthropy, Remus will deal with it every day for the rest of his life. You're right, it doesn't define him. Remus is much more than the definition of his curse. He is a powerful wizard and a kind and gentle man. That you recognize this is a wonderful affirmation of him – but one that he will not accept easily." Kate stopped and considered her next words carefully, wanting to be certain she was heard, but not wishing the young woman to be so intimidated that she gave up before she gave a serious shot at convincing Remus a relationship wasn't out of the question. "Tonks, you need to pay attention to what I'm about to tell you, alright?"
Tonks nodded her face solemn.
"Right," Kate continued. "Remus never for a moment forgets about his curse. Never. I've known him for a very long time – since Hogwarts – and he's always been this way. He strives for control in all areas of his life because the wolf robs him of control one night each month. He lives in absolute terror that one night he will – at best – kill an innocent; at worst - that he will infect, but not kill, an innocent. He does not see himself as someone who can have a relationship with a woman; he feels that his condition prohibits one. Your cousin and I happen to disagree with him and have done since we were in school together, but it doesn't matter what we think; it's what Remus thinks – and feels – that matters."
"Who hurt him?"
Kate narrowed her eyes as her gaze met Tonks'. Good girl. "Just about everyone, at one time or another I imagine. In fourth year, it was a witch named Esther Mooregood, who flirted with him for two months before he finally gave in and asked her to Hogsmeade one weekend. About two months later, she accidentally got a look at his scars one Saturday afternoon when he fell into the Black Lake and had to duck behind a tree to change his shirt. That was all it took. She didn't know, of course, how he had gotten them, but those scars were horrific for her and she broke up with him. There was no one else until after we graduated. A witch from the States. She discovered what the scars meant after six months – just enough time for Remus to begin to think they might be able to have a lasting relationship. That was, perhaps, the most devastating thing to him."
Tonks wiped hastily at her eyes, clearing the moisture that had collected there. "Bitch," she muttered.
Kate smiled. "Quite. And being angry or sad on his behalf is ok; feeling sorry for him is not. He doesn't take kindly to pity."
Tonks' face showed her determination. "He doesn't deserve pity. He deserves someone to love him."
Kate rose and traveled the short distance to where the young Auror was seated, leant down and gave her a warm hug. Taking a step back and straightening, she said, "I've just one more thing to say to you: go get him!"
Tonks' smile was brilliant as she, too, rose. "I will!"
Kate put a hand on Tonks' arm as she moved past her on the way to the door. "You will need enormous patience with him. He can be rather stubborn."
Tonks made a face. "'can be'? I'd be gobsmacked if he wasn't! I'll outlast him, don't worry!"
Kate smiled. "If anyone can, Tonks, I'm sure it's you."
As Tonks made her way across the room, both women heard a soft knock on the door. Sirius poked his head in, eyes widening when he saw his cousin approaching him.
"Dora!" he exclaimed, giving her a warm hug. "What are the two of you up to?"
Kate smiled at Tonks then turned to Sirius. "Girl talk, Mr. Black. Just a little girl talk."
Tonks gave Kate a hug then left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
Sirius caught Kate's hand as she turned back to put her desk in order. "What does 'girl talk' mean, exactly?"
Kate smiled. "Promise not to say anything?"
Sirius smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Is there any chance you'll tell me anything if I don't?"
"None," Kate assured him.
Sirius released her and placed his hand over his heart, straightened his posture and intoned, "I sincerely promise, Madam."
"Your little cousin thinks she just might be falling for Remus," Kate said.
Kate was surprised to see Sirius' brow furrow and his former teasing mood disappear.
"What's wrong?" she asked him.
"I just don't want to see either of them get hurt," he said solemnly. "They've both had enough of that sort of thing. Oddly enough, for something of the same reason."
Kate looked at him curiously. "Well, I understand Remus' relationship problems, but Tonks'?"
Sirius sighed and reclaimed her hand. "She's a Metamorphmagus. Imagine you're a not very bright bloke who discovers that he's hooked up with someone who can change her appearance – at will – to look like anyone you want her to look like. Someone who can … umm … enhance certain attributes. It would be incredibly tempting, don't you think?"
Kate sucked in a sharp breath. "Oh, Sirius, she hasn't run into idiots like that, has she?" There was sadness in her voice as she thought of the pretty, vivacious girl who had just left the room. "She's so sweet in her own right."
Sirius nodded, smiling gently at her. "Yes, she is. Unfortunately, her own self esteem isn't all that high and so when she ran into her first … idiot, she wanted to be accepted so badly that she gave in. It didn't take her long to realize that she was being used, though. I'm very happy to tell you that once she'd sussed it out, that particular wizard's voice was a bit higher than usual for a day or so."
Kate smiled. "You've got to love a witch who get her point across so clearly!"
Sirius grimaced a bit as he reached for Kate's hand again. "I'll keep that philosophy in mind when next I'm tempted to misbehave," he commented, lacing their fingers together.
"Did you come up here for any specific reason or did you just want to come up and engage in witty repartee?" Kate asked him, leaning up to place a light kiss on his cheek.
Sirius placed a soft kiss on her lips before he answered. "Specific reason, but now you're going to have to give me a moment to remember. I seem to have been momentarily distracted." Kate smiled as Sirius feigned deep thought for a moment.
"Ah, I remember now," he finally said, grinning impishly. "I wondered if you'd be my date for tomorrow evening's festivities."
Kate looked at him. "Your date," she said.
"Yes. My date," Sirius' smile became slightly less certain. "You know, we wear dress clothes, sit next to each other at dinner, share a glass of champagne at midnight. Maybe a kiss. My date."
"With everyone else there?" Kate asked, not quite able to believe what she thought she was hearing.
"Well, we could ask everyone else to have their own party in another room, but I think that might ruin my reputation as a competent host," Sirius attempted to make light of Kate's obvious reluctance. "Katie, if you don't want to, that's ok. I just thought it might be a nice opportunity to celebrate something together; as a couple. It's as close to a real date as I can give you right now, but I thought it would be something…"
Kate put her arms around his neck and silenced him with a tender kiss on the lips. It took Sirius less than a moment to respond, tilting his head slightly to give him better access to Kate's delicious mouth. She parted her lips slightly and Sirius wasted no time in gently running his tongue along her lower lip then exploring the warmth of her mouth when he received no protest. They kissed each other slowly, tenderly for a few moments, parting only when it became necessary to breathe. Sirius brought his forehead down to rest against hers. "Mmm," he breathed, softly.
Kate nodded. "I would love to be your date tomorrow evening, Mr. Black," she whispered.
Sirius smiled and rubbed the tip of his nose across her own. "Thank you, Ms. Morgan," he whispered back. "I shall call for you tomorrow promptly at 7 o'clock."
Kate nodded. "I'll be ready," she said.
Sirius raised his head and placed soft kisses on each cheek, the tip of her nose, her forehead then her lips. "I'd better go," he said. "If I don't leave now, you're going to have a bloody difficult time getting rid of me and among the many promises I made you was not to rush you. I intend to honor that," he finished. Kate nodded again and allowed him to step away from her.
"It's damned difficult," she murmured, smoothing his hair back from his face and was rewarded with a brilliant smile.
"I'd better go see what I can scrounge for "date" clothes," Sirius responded. "My old stuff doesn't quite fit the way it used to."
Kate drew a sharp breath. "Muggle or Wizard?" she asked.
It was Sirius' turn to look confused. "What do you mean?"
"Are we wearing Muggle dress clothes or Wizard dress robes?" she clarified.
Sirius' face cleared. "Oh. Hadn't thought that far. I think I've got some Muggle trousers that aren't too bad looking."
"Do you still have that white linen dress shirt you wore to James and Lily's rehearsal dinner?" Kate asked.
Sirius nodded. "Hanging in my closet," he confirmed. Kate smiled and stepped away from him.
"I believe I have something that will finish off the outfit perfectly," she said, moving toward her closet. After rummaging about on the top shelf, Kate turned with a package still wrapped in Christmas paper and ribbon.
Sirius smiled a bit bemusedly. "What's this?" he asked as she handed it to him.
"Remember that I said you had one more Christmas gift coming to you?" Kate asked. At his nod, she continued, "Here it is. And I think this is the perfect time to give it to you."
Sirius stepped away from her and sat down in the chair she had recently vacated. Giving Kate a mischievous grin, he tore the paper open and pushed aside the tissue paper beneath it. Immediately, his expression changed to one of disbelief as he stared at what he had revealed. "Katie," he whispered, lifting his gift almost reverently from the wrapping.
Kate watched him bring the dark material to his face as he breathed in the sharp scent of leather, then brushed his cheek against the softness of the shoulder. "My jacket," he said softly, his expression awed.
Kate smiled gently as he raised his eyes to look at her. "Almost," she answered. "I found this in a Muggle shop the day I ran into Remus and Harry doing the last of their shopping. I recognized it immediately as being virtually identical to the one you … well, to the old one. I thought you might like it."
Sirius placed the jacket gently back in its box and set the whole thing on top of the desk. He rose and moved toward Kate, his eyes shining, his lips upturned in a soft smile. "I love it, Katie – and you for giving it to me. Thank you," he whispered, then captured her lips in a deep kiss. "Thank you," he said again when he broke their kiss some moments later.
Kate drew a shaky breath. "I believe I should be thanking you," she said. "I guess I'd better get working on my own outfit now."
Sirius smiled before placing a brief kiss to her lips. "I would say so," he said, retrieving the box and crossing to the door. As he opened it, Sirius turned, his eyes twinkling. "But let me say that you've got your work cut out for you given what I'm going to be wearing." The last thing he heard before the door closed behind him was the sound of Kate's soft laughter.