A/N word up? Well, it's been a few days and I have some announcements. My sister gave birth to a happy, healthy and very well behaved 8 pound baby boy on the 26th of Feb., I'm an aunty x2 now aka Antrone (like patrone but with ant instead of pat) also I have been slightly disturbed by a boy who likes me. If any of you want to talk to me, its appreciated. If you got yahoo I'm me whipits5000 and if you don't, then get it and talk to me. So here we go, finally Hermione aka Pistol is off to hogwarts! I don't own shit besides the plot and a fairly empty bottle of soco

Hermione spent the last night before Hogwarts enchanting her neon pink blue and green powerpuff girls (anime style) backpack to hold all her belongings and then some including her trunk, books, bottles, and makeup. She smiled at herself as she listened to Lit and smoking a jay

"Hear the voices in my head I swear to god it sound like they're snoring, but if you're bored then you're boring"

'Well I'm not bored anymore thank dog.' She lazily rolled a few more for the train ride, laid out an outfit of black skinny jeans, fluorescent yellow flats and a very tight dead milkmen t-shirt. She put out her roach and fell into a heavy sleep.

She woke early the next day; showered, circled her eyes in black, put in scarlet contacts with golden sparkles strewn about, put on her backpack and hit the street. She headed off to the train station smoking a cigarette and giggling at the flocks of oddly dressed "normal" people headed for the hogwarts express. (And when I say oddly, just think of how she now dresses… it must be bad)

She got there early and bought a pretzel with the fake nacho cheese that is so sickeningly good and sat beginning to read Buddha of Suburbia. Familiar faces walked by, casting funny glances her way. People she considered friends walked right past. She sometimes forgot how much she changed. But now as a constant-slight-intoxicated butterfly that formed from a book caterpillar, she couldn't help but laugh out loud. It may have just been the weed.

The hogwarts express stopped loudly and students began to fill in, good byes, tears and a sticky feeling filled the air. Hermione went to the back and found a compartment and locked it. She didn't want to be interrupted; yet at least, she had a few things to smoke first. She sat giddily reaching into her backpack and pulled out a bottle of lemon lime vodka she got a few days earlier. She was going to nurse her gut rot with some fancy limeonade. After a few shots she regretted the train lurched forward and the journey began.

She sat in the shaded compartment with Sublime saturating the smoky air. There was a good hour or so no one bothered her, until a very angry voice filtered her solitude.

In stepped Professor Mcgonagal. "Oh sorry miss… WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" She screamed spotting a cigarette between Hermione's fingers. "PUT THAT OUT! Well this is the last room… you wouldn't have happened to seen Hermione Granger? Have you? She didn't go to the Head girl/boy meeting.

Hermione looked through Chinese eyes, laughed and said, "Fuck all that rot. I don't want to be head girl"

"I wasn't asking you to be! Rude girl! That's not what I meant at all! I never even said anything close to that! Look at you! You're not fit to be a head. Who are you anyway? I don't think I've seen you before." She said in a pissy tone.

"I'm Hermione. DUH! Shit bitch, are you kidding me? I don't want to be a head this year so let someone else be. I want to try other things." Hermione chuckled at the look on her professor's face.

"Well, how do I know you're not an imposter? Hermione would never look like a street urchin like you! I don't know why they would accept someone like you!" Mcgonagal said pointing to Hermione who got up and was digging through her bag.

Hermione produced pictures from over the summer. The glorious 2 ½-3 months she metomorphicized. They began with wholesome Hermione with Alley Keagan and Sarah, and slowly progressed into blue hair eyeliner and metal. She sat down smugly returning to her book and said, "now do you mind, I'm trying to chill."

With that Mcgonagal snapped a little. "HERMIONE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOUR GRADES! YOUR POTENTIAL! NOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE A BEATNIC RAGAMUFFIN WIDDLING DOWN TO A PILE OF DIRT?" This continued for a few minutes until Hermione could get a word in.

"Professor! The outside may be drastic, but I still read, I like to study, I'm a nerd and I like it, but I'm also someone else. Just call me Pistol. Hermione's dead. Well old Hermione. Now here I am. And if you don't mind, I would like to go by Pistol, so change the name on the list."

"Are you joking? Why?"

"I changed and I would like it to continue this way. Now please! You're ruining my buzz."

Mcgonagal, looking forlorn, pissed and rather confused, looked at her #1 student, and shook her head. Hermione, I respected you. And now I guess I will not change my view of you even though you changed your exterior. If your grades lack what I think is right, we will go back to how you were. So good-bye Hermi.. I mean Pistol." She turned and left.

In a rush of amazement and a bit of unprepared joy, Hermione never thought she had… control?…over anyone higher up than her. She now left the compartment to see people and possibly talk to them. She locked her compartment and walked down the aisles. All that was accomplished was a few sandwiches and stares. She walked past a compartment full of Slytherins, including Draco and Blaise. She gave a little wink and returned to her own space.

Draco twitched as he saw her, about to get up when the Slytherins burst into laughter.

"who the hell was that??" Pansy cackled. Placing her hand on what she thought was Draco's leg. "well, well, are you happy to see me?"

"not really, I need to piss" he said getting up.

Blaise figured his plan and shot up. "No way man! You already got a bitch, that ones mine!"

In a short hush, eye contact, and a pause, they busted out to the hallway making a loud racket. They busted in doors until Blaise rushed into a Hufflepuff orgy and couldn't take his eyes away.

Draco reached the last door, and knocked. 'am I mad?' he asked as no sound came out. He opened it slowly and peaked in.

Hermione was laying on the floor with her feet on a chair blowing smoke rings. She looked up at him a smiled. "Want a stogie?"

Draco shut the door and Hermione locked it. A shit-eating grin spread decadently across Dracos face as he heard the click click. He took a smoke from her and sat next to her feet.

"what's up?" he asked casually.

"not much. Having a good trip? Want a better one?" she said laughing.

"what's that supposed to mean?" he asked with a twisted look of idiocy and confusion.

Hermione got up and sat on the floor cross-legged. She dug through her backpack pulling out a shoebox. She proceeded to build a small burner on the floor, and placed a teakettle over the orange glow, filled it with some water from her wand. She then pulled out a pair of baby stockings from the box and scissors. She cut the bottom half off of one side and threw the other 3/4s back in the box. She then produced a half gallon baggy of mushrooms opened the bag and added 2 ½ handfuls into the stocking, tied a knot and placed her makeshift tea bag into the kettle.

"now we got to wait about 15 minutes k?" She smiled toothily at him. "So now what go you want to do? Can I pierce your face?"

"Seriously? Um… ok… but where?" he asked willingly

"how's about… labret. Or septum?"

"labret, because I don't think I want my area pierced!"

"the septums between your nostrils…"

"oh… lets just stick with the labret"

After 12 minutes a new hole sat impaled with a small silver stud sat under his lip and Hermione stirred the tea. She squeezed the access out of the bag and tore it open, and somewhat lethargically shoved some on the soggy mass into her mouth.

"what are you doing?" Draco looked disgusted and devoured.

" I just don't want to waste anything." She explained handing him the other half.

It tasted like a mouth full of squishy dirt, but he swallowed like a good girl and took the cup from Hermione.

"Bottoms up" She said cheersing with him and poured the warm watery dirt taste down her throat.

Draco fallowed suit and questioned "Why are we eating and drinking this it tastes horrid."

"well, the poison in the mushrooms makes your brain bleed." She laughed at the horrified face that constricted Draco. "Your going to hallucinate, chill out, you won't die."

A bout a half hour later Hermione was back in her upside down sitting position now accompanied by a very giggly Draco. He was randomly batting at air he claimed were snitches and Hermione watched the compartment twist and turn and coil and change colors.

Draco bolted upright and started freaking out.

"WHAT??? What is it?" Hermione grabbed him and tried to calm him.

"WHY IS THE TRAIN FILLING WITH WATER???? I CANT SWIM!!" he was screaming and screaming trying to get as far from the ground as possible. Hermione Burst out laughing and changed the cd.

"Dude, what part of hallucinate don't you understand?"

(A/N I forget how long the train ride is, but it's going to be kind of long…)

After about an hour or so Draco was way way more chill and decided to see how his friends seemed on his new all time favorite drug.

Hermione was left with Little Wings, a joint and a smile.

Harry and Ron came in to a very happy Mione.

"What's up?" Ron asked "were almost there. Are you still going to sit with us?"

"hard dicks and helicopters. Sure why not. You're my friends right? Now sit down and lets get stoned." She laughed

when they arrived to the carriages She grabbed her backpack and grabbed Ginny for a private talk.

She told her about her night with a few slytherins and of her experimental drug use as she called it.

"Hermione! What happened to you? Well, you seem happy.. when can I experiment?" Ginny said excitedly.

H"not now, your brother will kill me! But he's stoned so it may be ok."

G"What??? My brother? No way! I heard your head girl! Wow, people are going to freak when they find out your you!"

H"I know so call me Pistol, I want to start over a little. But I have to tell you something!"

G"what? You're pregnant? You got aids? You're a lesbo? I'm bi curious! Lets have fun!"

H"Ginny you're dumb. I have a bit of a cat and mouse chase I want to pursue this year…"

G"How so?"

"You know how I fucked Draco? Well, I've gotten him high on shrooms today, and pierced him… but I think he likes me, it's in his eyes. How he looks at me and I like it, I like it a lot more then how anyone else looks at me. But you think he'll freak if he knows its me?" Hermione looked pleased with herself but also kind of worried.

"I don't know, Mione, but don't let Harry hear. He'll freak, I'm sure"

A/N oh hell! I started writing around 2:am and now its 4:50! I need to go to bed, but more to some! R&R babies! Suggest and you will be rewarded! Ask and you will receive! Also, talk to me sometime? What's your myspace lol jk myspace is for satan or santa? you chose.

I hope you liked this chapter, its pretty long…

I LOVERS YOU!!!!

Peace