Fragments of Us
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Warnings: None for this chapter
Chapter 45 – Coming Unraveled
Remus arrived at the Apparition point to find Kate and Bill waiting for him. Kate looked as she felt – shocked and upset.
Remus walked over to them. "I assume that I'm correct in saying that we all heard the same news." He paused and when both Kate and Bill nodded, he gave them a small smile and continued. "I'm going to suggest a trip to Hogsmeade. Flourish & Blotts has a rather extensive research section and I believe may have what we need for at least one of the spells we encountered here today. Bill, you had indicated that perhaps the goblins might be able to assist you in clarifying a portion of the Egyptian curse we found in the last two layers." When Bill nodded, Remus said, "Excellent. I believe it would make the best use of our time to split up, do what we can separately, then see if Kingsley can see us to formalize our report before the meeting." Both Kate and Bill agreed; Bill Apparated to Gringott's while Kate and Remus Apparated to the alleyway behind Flourish & Blotts.
"Ok?" Remus asked Kate as they materialized in the alley with twin "pops".
Kate nodded, but her expression was distressed for another reason. "Remus, I never thought…" He reached over and hugged her tightly, cutting off her words.
"Stop, Kate. We've never worked to hide the connection. Peter knows that you're Harry's Godmother and he could have easily told Lucius or even Voldemort for that matter. This is information that could have been out there for quite some time. In fact, it strikes me as completely ironic that the only person we intentionally hid your connection to Harry from was Harry, himself and he figured it out on his own. My point is that this is not your fault – not by any stretch of the imagination. Please, Kate, do not waste time taking responsibility for this; our job now is to figure out how we can protect all of you."
Kate nodded and gave him a shaky smile. "Thanks, Remus."
"Come on," Remus said, taking her arm. "Let's get some tea, then go over to Flourish & Blotts."
Remus and Kate spent about a half hour at the Leaky Cauldron, drinking tea and allowing Kate to put something on her stomach that was a little more substantial than digestives. Once finished, they made their way to the booksellers' shop. Kate showed her credential to the proprietor, who respectfully showed them to the research section of the shop, up the rickety staircase and in a closed room away from the main customer area. Mr. Blott lit a fire in the grate to make them more comfortable. Unlike some of the townspeople, the bookshop owners had always liked and respected Remus and the revelation of his lycanthropy had not turned them against him. They also remembered Kate from her days at Hogwarts and later, as she studied in the Auror program. They had great fondness for her, as well. In the warmth of the room, Kate and Remus set to work translating and researching some of the more complex spells surrounding Spear's "safe house" in Totland.
At 2 pm, Bill joined them, bringing take-away food from The Three Broomsticks to complement the tea that Mr. Blott had provided in an ever hot, replenishing teapot. As they broke to devour the thick sandwiches and delicious apple crumble sent by Rosmerta, they compared notes on their research thus far. Bill shared that he had run into Kingsley, who would see them at 5, but preferred to meet at a location away from the Ministry. It was decided that he would come to the bookshop and Bill had taken the liberty of advising Mr. Blott of that fact. The proprietor was only too happy to assist them further. "I think he would have had the wife provide dinner if I'd even hinted that we'd be hungry again by then," Bill noted, smiling broadly.
Remus chuckled. "He and his wife have always been big supporters of Dumbledore and most kind and respectful of those of us who fought with him in the first War. As a matter of fact, they provided a great deal of assistance to us back then. They're very good people and she, if I recall correctly, is a very good cook!"
They finished their meal then dug back into the stack of textbooks before them, working silently until a knock on the door startled them a bit. Kingsley entered, smiling and taking a seat at the crowded table. "Where do we stand?" he asked.
Kate spoke first, "Bill's contacts among the Gringott's goblins really came through for us. The Egyptian magic is complicated – and deadly, obviously – but can be reversed. The arrogance of Voldemort's little group never ceases to amaze me, though. There's nothing more complicated than what Tonks ran into for retaliatory spell work. I'm certain that there are probably nasty things awaiting whomever actually takes down all the wards and spells and makes it to the house, but nothing strikes back at that level."
Kingsley glanced over the parchment she handed to him. "Death Eaters have always been rather fond of themselves – and their perspective on protection spells. They're good duelists, but poor protectors in my experience."
"There is one interior charm that is giving us a bit of trouble. We've got it almost completely resolved, but there is a final aspect of the spell that needs some additional research," Remus put in.
Kingsley shrugged off his cloak. "Well, let's finish it off, then. How can I help?"
It took some time, but through the combined efforts and expertise of the group – with assistance from the vast library made available to them – the last of the protection wards was finally resolved and notes as to how to reverse it were duly recorded.
"Merlin, we're late!" Kate exclaimed, checking her watch. "The Order meeting began 30 minutes ago."
They hurried to return all volumes to their proper homes on the overstuffed shelves and, ten minutes later, they were standing in front of Grimmauld Place.
"I feel like I've missed a Hogwarts' curfew," Bill whispered as they crept past the portrait of Sirius' mother and made their way down the staircase to the kitchen. Ironically, the first voice that greeted their ears as they approached the doorway was McGonagall's, making the four Gryffindors giggle aloud as they crossed the threshold. They immediately knew that was the absolute worst entrance they could have made. While Minerva might have excused the apparent joviality of their interruption and Albus' eyes twinkled in a mixture of relief and good humor, when Kate's gaze rested on Sirius, it was more than obvious that he did not share their tolerance. His expression affected her as strongly as any sobering potion would do and Kate dropped into the seat closest to her to avoid further disruption. Sirius looked round at each of the late arrivals in turn before focusing once again on Minerva as she finished her report.
Kate found herself only half listening to the Minerva's lilting voice, choosing instead to watch Sirius. Damn, she thought to herself as she watched his long, thin fingers worry the edge of his robes, picking a thread here, folding pleats into a sleeve there. His knee bounced up and down as he jiggled his foot and it was only when Tonks leaned over and placed her hand on his leg that he stopped, his pale face turning briefly in Tonks' direction to glare at her. Why didn't we send an owl to him earlier?
Minerva had finished speaking and Albus stood at his place at the head of the table. "Our intrepid members have arrived safely. Remus, would you please give us your report of the day's events?"
Remus nodded and stood, summarizing the protection wards and spells as well as the conversation they had all overheard between Malfoy and Spear. When he had finished reporting the details, and with an apologetic glance at Kate, Remus shared Spear's revelation about Kate and Harry, stressing the fact that this was not information anyone had ever thought to hide. He also reminded those present that Kate's role as Harry's Godmother was known to Pettigrew, who easily could have told Voldemort. Lucius may well be the last to know, he finished.
Sirius' reaction was swift. He turned to Albus and in a quiet voice that shook with both anger and disbelief, he said, "He'll use her to get to Harry, Albus. Kate cannot continue as a field operative. She has to be restricted to the Ministry – for her own safety as well as Harry's."
Kate felt her face flush, but she didn't have an opportunity to speak before Bill jumped in. "Sirius, restricting Kate to desk duty won't make it any safer. Remember, Spear was a junior Auror and worked inside the Ministry." Kate heard Remus' quiet groan that mirrored her own. He couldn't have picked a worse defensive argument!
"Sirius," Remus spoke up. "None of us is safe. We've long suspected that the Ministry had been infiltrated – however benignly. I don't for a moment believe that Fudge has gone over to the Dark, but he's certainly more concerned about his own reputation and job security than he is about protecting our world from Voldemort. He's in denial because he doesn't want to believe we're going to go through another War. Whether we're on assignment for the Order or doing our jobs in the public sector, we are all at risk! Even Umbridge is disrupting Hogwarts, undermining our efforts there. Kate's talented and she's a strong and powerful witch. Better she should put those talents to use working to defeat the Dark than hiding from it!"
Kate closed her eyes and cringed. Perhaps there was a worse defensive argument than Bill's after all. When she opened her eyes, Sirius' face had gone even paler than before and his eyes glittered as he watched his friend. Without breaking his gaze, Sirius rose from his chair and took a breath. "'Hiding', as I am doing, right?" he asked, his voice quiet and hard. "Well, I can't blame you there. I can personally attest that staying behind locked and unplottable doors while everyone else is out fighting is not a worthwhile occupation."
A disdainful voice came from the shadowy corner of the kitchen. "I thought this was an Order meeting, Headmaster, not a pity party for Black." There was a rustle of robes and then Snape stepped more fully into the room. "Surely, you will allow me to take my leave if our agenda has changed. I have a great many more important things to do than provide an audience for his endless, self-serving commentary about how unfair his life has been!"
Sirius turned in an instant and would have grabbed Severus had Remus not been fractionally quicker and caught his friend 'round his chest, effectively pinning his arms to his sides. Although Sirius was strong, Remus was much stronger and Sirius soon stopped struggling against his human restraints. With a smirk and a nod to the Headmaster, Snape crossed the room and was up the stairs in little more than a moment.
"Alright, Remus, he's made it to the door by now. Let me go," Sirius voice shook with anger. When Remus did not immediately release him, he added. "Mooney, please. I'm not about to go after him. How can I?"
Hearing the anger and defeat in his friend's voice, Remus released him and took a step backward. Sirius continued looking at the floor for a moment then silently turned and left the room.
Albus looked around at those who remained. "I believe that concludes tonight's meeting," he said. "Remus, Kate, Bill and Kingsley, I'd like you to stay behind for a few moments to discuss our next step."
It wasn't long before the others left, taking the hint from Albus' last words. They settled at the table with their various notes around them as they prepared to speak with him.
Albus began. "Before we get too far ahead of ourselves, I want to say that I agree with Remus and Bill about Kate's situation. I think we were naïve and, perhaps, a bit careless in our failure to consider this information before now but in reality, it does not change the basic facts: we are all at risk. We will do everything we can to protect every member of the Order – and Harry's safety is paramount to us all. I do not believe that there is any enhanced risk to our operations as long as we continue with our current course of action in as prudent and cautious a manner as possible. Are we all agreed on this?"
Everyone nodded and Albus reached over to pat Kate's arm. "You may have your work cut out for you with Sirius, my dear, but you undoubtedly realize that fact."
"I do, Albus," she replied. "We'll manage." I hope that sounded more confident than it feels, she thought.
Throughout the discussion, Kate's thoughts kept straying to Sirius and, as much as she wanted to participate in the strategy session, she also wanted to speak with him alone. Knowing that being unprepared for her part in the assignment would only potentially result in the realization of Sirius' fears, Kate shook herself soundly and focused on the task at hand.
Albus had shared the news of Spear's apparent (and now confirmed) defection with the rest of the team as well as the surveillance plans and schedule that had been devised by Kate and Kingsley. Order members had filled all necessary slots and full out surveillance was to begin the following day. As Kate reviewed the revised parchment, she noted that her team was assigned to the Malfoy's residence in Wiltshire rather than the safe house in Totland – and that she was not scheduled for Order duty until Monday. Curious as to the reason for the change, she raised the question at the next opportunity.
Kingsley and Albus exchanged looks and Kingsley spoke. "We feel that the safe house is only temporarily occupied by Spear. Its location is ideal for covert operations of a somewhat larger scale and could, at any given time, house a very large segment of Voldemort's followers. I want strong duelists assigned to that team; preferably those who are less easily recognized. I know that you're proficient, Kate, but your true gift lies in strategy, stealth and planning. We are uncertain how often Malfoy will return to the safe house. If you are on the Wiltshire team, you will be better able to track his movements here – and determine if he appears to be preparing for a large shift in resources."
"Relocation of the escaped Death Eaters," Kate said, nodding. "Have the overall teams changed?"
Albus nodded. "Yes. I want those with extensive DADA experience out in Totland. That means that Remus and Bill will partner with Tonks. You will work with Kingsley and Mad Eye Moody on the Wiltshire-based team. I think that Remus has the experience needed to take over your lead in Totland," he finished.
Although she was disappointed for herself, Kate was pleased that Remus was being recognized and appreciated for his abilities, something he had experienced little of in his lifetime.
"Kate," Kingsley called her attention back to the discussion. "I also need you to split your time between the surveillance detail and the Ministry. If I'm out, I will need you to cover for me, as well. You might not hold as 'senior' a title as mine, but you're every bit an experienced Auror. You and I can take "desk duty" in turns so neither of us is away from the action for too long." He smiled warmly at her and Kate could have hugged him for it. Clearly, he was not going to be as overprotective of her as she once feared he might be.
"Absolutely, Kingsley," she confirmed, returning his smile.
"We will continue to monitor Totland, leaving the protection spells intact until we determine there is a worthwhile reason to tip our hand. We will need to make sure we can re-cast them, if need be – and confirm what, if any, spells exist closer to the safe house," Albus stated, rising to his feet. "Now, if you'll all excuse me, I think I'll be getting back to the school."
As he passed Kate, Albus reached out a hand and squeezed her shoulder. "Take care of yourself, my dear – and good luck with Mr. Black. I fear you'll need it."
Kate smiled at him. "Thanks, Albus. You certainly know how to cheer a girl up."
He chuckled warmly and walked up the stairs to the front hallway.
Remus came up to where Kate was standing. "Do you want me to locate Sirius and work through the first layer of anger for you?"
Kate smiled, but shook her head. "Thanks, Remus, but this is my situation to deal with – in all of its layers!"
XXXXXXXX
Kate searched the library, two parlors, Buckbeak's room, her bedroom and Sirius' room but a half hour later she had not found the wizard. Pausing to change into a pair of track pants and an oversized sweater, Kate wracked her brain to think of another place Sirius might be using as a temporary retreat to work through his anger. As she passed a darkened side corridor for the third time, Kate stopped suddenly and went back. The porch. I should have thought of it before. When she arrived at the partially closed door, Kate could hear the crackling of a fire. She popped her head round the door and saw Sirius sitting on the loveseat in front of the blazing hearth, head down, hands clasped before him. She slipped inside and closed the door silently behind her.
"May I join you?" Kate asked quietly, sorry to see him jump at the sound of her voice.
He nodded and turned back to the fire, this time leaning back against the cushions of the loveseat. Kate made her way over and leaned down to kiss him in greeting. He didn't move – not even to turn his head to meet her lips with his own. Kate kissed his cheek instead then sat on the opposite end of the loveseat, tucking her feet underneath her and settling so that she was facing him.
"I know that you're angry with me – maybe with all of us. If you talk to me, maybe we can work through it," she said softly.
Sirius snorted, but remained silent. Kate wondered at her ability to wait him out this time, but she needn't have worried. True to form, the silence didn't last long.
"I am angry with you," he said quietly, still not looking at her. "Angrier than I've been in awhile."
"You have to tell me why, Sirius. I can't explain anything unless I know," Kate tried to reason with him.
Sirius turned, finally, his eyes dangerously dark. "How long were you going to wait to let me know that you were back from Totland and that you were safe? If we hadn't had an Order meeting tonight, would I still be here wondering? Would you still be out with Remus and Kingsley and Bill?"
Kate reached out to him, but he moved his hand away from her. She sighed. "You're right, Sirius, I should have owled you, but we were caught up in finishing the research so we could include everything in our report tonight. Truly, Sirius, we lost track of time. When Kingsley arrived late in the afternoon, we had one final spell we needed to research. He sat down to help us and we just kept going until we had it. I never intended to make you more anxious than you already were. I really am sorry and I promise you that I won't make that mistake again. If you are waiting for me and there's any way for me to communicate with you, I promise that I will. I won't make you wait and worry if I can help it."
Sirius stared at the fire, but reached out his hand to her. Kate took it and entwined their fingers. "I opened a nice bottle of Firewhiskey around 5," he whispered. Poured myself a big bloody glass of it." He turned to face her. "I threw all of it in the fireplace. Hell of a mess Kreacher will have to clean, but I didn't drink it. I guess that's some fuckin' progress anyway. Can't guaranty it will last, though."
Kate squeezed his fingers. "That is progress. Time was, you wouldn't have used a glass." She fought to keep her expression solemn.
Sirius' face froze for a moment, then his face softened and he laughed. Kate chuckled and the sound made him laugh even harder. When he'd brought himself under some degree of control, he gently tugged on her hand. "Come here," he said softly.
Kate slid over closer to him and he embraced her tightly. "I'm never not going to be afraid for you; afraid of losing you. I know that as surely as I know my own name. Now, things are more dangerous for you. Malfoy knows that you're connected to Harry – and how you're connected. He'll use you to get to him and he won't care if he hurts you in the process."
Kate nodded against his shoulder. "I know that. Apparently, Kingsley has thought of it as well."
Sirius lifted his head and Kate sat up so she could see his face. "What do you mean?" he asked.
Kate took his hand in both of hers and gave him the detail of their post-Order meeting conversation with Albus. When she was finally silent, Sirius nodded and his face looked marginally less anxious. "He's right, you know. You're a brilliant strategist and you and Remus are the best there is with spell research and analysis. Putting you in London plays to your strength, but it potentially puts you in Malfoy's path more often than you might be in Wiltshire."
Kate nodded. "But with more back up. Don't forget, though, he's not apt to try anything close to the Ministry. In addition to his precious reputation, Malfoy's got to find another way into the Department of Mysteries now that Spear is out of the picture. He'll find out that most experienced Aurors are well able to throw off the Imperious curse."
"True," Sirius agreed, bringing her hands to his lips and kissing them each in turn.
"What was that show of testosterone with Snape earlier?" Kate asked. "You've been teased before – and under more pressure than this. You really snapped."
Sirius' jaw clenched and Kate wondered if she should have brought it up before Sirius answered. "Harry used the mirror to contact me today. Apparently, Snape is using his typical charm and winning personality to make his Occlumency lessons miserable. Hardest thing I've ever done was to tell that boy that as big a git as Snape was, he needed to keep taking these bloody lessons so he could block Voldemort from his mind. I think I shocked the kid."
"Undoubtedly you did," Kate agreed. "How did he take it?"
"Reluctant, but right now, his fear of Voldemort accessing his mind is bigger than his hatred of Snape," Sirius confided. "Never thought I'd live to say this, but I'm glad that's the case. I told him that he'd have to really apply himself to the lessons to stay safe and to keep Voldemort at bay. He agreed. He knows how I hate Snape, so I think it might have actually made an impression on him."
Kate smiled. "I'm sure it did. I can tell you this – it's made an impression on me!"
Sirius took her face in his hands and kissed her lips tenderly. "Forgive me for my temper tantrum in the kitchen?" he asked against her lips.
Kate nodded. "Of course. Forgive me my thoughtlessness?"
Sirius nodded. "Of course. I love you."
"I love you, too."
"Tomorrow's Saturday," Sirius whispered.
Kate smiled. "So it is and, as it happens, I am not on the surveillance schedule again until Monday."
"We can sleep in," Sirius whispered, his eyebrows wiggling up and down.
Kate kissed him. "That sounds wonderful. I'm exhausted," she said. "And hungry."
Sirius chuckled. "You're almost as bad as the twins lately. I give you fair warning, if you blow up 'til you're the size of the Fat Lady in Gryffindor Tower, I may have to seek comfort elsewhere."
Kate mentally conjured what she thought she'd look like a few months from now and realized that the comparison was probably pretty accurate. Instead of dwelling on it, she gave Sirius a wink and responded, "Given the amount of exercise I get with you, I really think I'll be burning off any extra padding!"
He chuckled and they rose, heading to the kitchen to satisfy one appetite before retiring upstairs to test Kate's theory.