Choices
By: Jecir
Chapter Four: I Dreamed a Dream
The wild magic collapsed in over him in thick, powerful waves. Henry lay down and curled in on himself. He did not understand anymore. Everything hurt; nothing was ok; but he could not fathom why. Something deep and distant told him that this magic was dangerous and that he should not let it continue its course but he did not know why.
There was something...something to do with wishes. He had been making the wrong wishes.
"Henry!" A crystal clear voice pierced the darkness.
Henry twisted away from that voice. It was pure. It hurt to hear.
"Henry!" It called again. An artic blue light accompanied the call. It was cool and alluring. It drove the wild magic back.
Henry ducked under his arms to hide from the light. "Leave me alone," he whispered.
"Henry, you need to fight it," it said.
"No," Henry said.
"You need to!" it pleaded. "You are the Truest Believer. You must remember or all is lost!"
Remember? Henry did remembered pain. He remembered experiencing so much pain. No, he concluded. Remembering only brought pain, and he did not want any more pain. "No," he whispered by way of reply. "No remember...too much pain."
"But there is love," the voice said. "So much love. Your family loves you, Henry."
"My family is gone!" Henry snapped. The piercing light was cutting away at the darkness in his mind. He was seeing it again. He saw his father's tombstone in a small town far away; he saw his mother dying on a sword; his father being shot; and the Evil Queen dying from an arrow shaft. He saw it all, and it fueled the pain. "Love is pain," he replied. The words seemed to fit but they felt wrong on his lips.
"Love is life," the voice insisted.
"Life and death," Henry countered. "So much death." He covered his ears as the scenes played over and over again in his head. "Only death. Please, no more death!"
"Oh Henry," the light said. He felt a ghostly touch on his forehead. "There is also life."
The pure light surged; the wild magic rolled back in protest; and Henry found himself surrounded by another life and another time. This time it was him sitting in a dinner with his family.
His family?
The artic light illuminated the blackness of his mind, and he remembered them.
He was sitting across from his grandmother, Snow White, and his grandfather, Prince Charming. They were holding their new son, his new uncle, and waiting for Emma and Neal to return. The christening celebration had been going on for some time now, but his mother and father had disappeared. His grandfather had called them; he had needed to warn them about Zelena's portal mysteriously opening. They had not heard back. The royal couple was doing their best to keep their worry to themselves. Henry was trying to help by focusing on his storybook.
"See his?" he pointed to a picture in his book. "This is the scene where Lady Milah and your mom and dad planned the rescue of Sir Hordor from the Evil Queen who really isn't evil at all." He looked across the diner to Regina, his mother, and smiled. She was in Robin's arms and laughing at something he had said. Henry turned back to his infant uncle and explained, "She just needed someone to love her."
Hook paced near the bar. Every few minutes, he would look at the door. He was worried. They all were, but Henry knew his mother and father would be fine. They were together. That fact was probably what was worrying Killian more than their prolonged absence. Hook had been fighting to get back on his mother's good side ever since Neal's arrival in New York. Henry still did not know how he felt about Hook accepting the ruby slippers from Zelena. He had come to New York to find them and his mother had fallen in love with the pirate during that year, but finding out that Killian had accepted Zelena's help only after promising to keep Emma away from Storybrooke, well, that was difficult to forgive especially after finding out the truth behind Zelena's plot. Still, Killian had fought beside them to defeat the witch and even almost died because of it. His father had saved him, though, and Emma and his mother had been able to combine their magic to defeat Zelena. It had been an epic battle; or so he had been told. He had not been able to see it.
Henry turned a few pages in his book. "See here?" He held the picture up to show his uncle. "This is when your mama and papa realized they loved each other."
The doors to the diner opened. Neal held the door open for Emma. They both looked worse for wear. Rumpelstiltskin jumped up from his chair by the door and immediately began fussing over his son. A long-suffering look crossed Neal's face. His father's fretting stopped him from following Emma. She shot a grin over her shoulder before continuing into the dinner. Killian tried to greet her, but Emma stopped him with a shake of her head. The pirate slumped back, dejected, and then made a swift exit. Emma watched him go with a pained expression, but it passed quickly when her mother enveloped her in a hug. Emma clung to Snow and then Charming as if she had not seen them in a long time. She sat down at their booth, then, and began to tell them all that had happened.
"You were Lady Milah?" Snow asked in disbelief.
"Milah?" Rumpelstiltskin asked his son.
The Dark One, Belle, and his father had joined their small gathering sometime during the tale. Neal had added a few details to their romp through time but, for the most part, had contented himself to let Emma tell the tale. When his father's calculating gaze landed on him, Neal ducked his head and muttered, "Seemed fitting."
Something passed between the father and son. Rumpelstiltskin glanced at the door where Hook had made his exit, and scowled. Neal grabbed his arm before he could excuse himself. The once lost boy shook his head. After a long moment, the Dark One submitted to his son's silent request. He opted, instead, to give what comfort he could to his boy who seemed to be experiencing a pain that Rumpelstiltskin himself had once felt many centuries ago.
Emma, for her part, had missed the exchange. She was focused on confessing to her parents how sorry she was for denying them the chance to be a family. "Mom," she said as she stood. "Dad." There was a confidence in her words that had not been there before. She hugged her parents then, and Henry knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they would be staying. "Now," Emma said, "Let's name my brother."
Prince David Leopold was introduced to everyone and the celebration continued.
It was soon after the announcement that Henry saw his mother slip out the front door and his father slip out the back. A sinking dread filled his stomach. He hurried after his father. If what he thought was happening was about to happen, he wanted to let his father know that, no matter what, he still loved him.
Henry was not surprised to find his father lingering in the alleyway next to Granny's. It was the perfect vantage point to watch Emma and Killian. Henry slowed down as he came up beside his father. He could not hear what the two were talking about, but when Killian tenderly brushed the hair behind Emma's ear, Neal turned away. In that moment, Henry saw an honest glimpse of the pain his father was feeling. The truest love only ever produced the deepest pain, Henry thought. His father was letting his mother go.
Neal stopped short and immediately buried his pain when he saw Henry. His father tried to say something, but Henry simply took his father's hand. Neal squeezed his son's hand and smiled a sad smile. "Hey kid," he said, "Want to see something?"
"Yeah," Henry said. He did not look back as his father led him away from the diner. They walked down the quiet streets of Storybrooke, turned at Mr. Gold's shop, and headed into the woods. Henry tried to distract his father by asking him about his time in the Enchanted Forest, but it seemed only to make Neal sadder. Henry soon determined that silence was best and simply enjoyed walking with his father.
They arrived at the Wishing Well where Henry watched as his grandfather married Belle. Neal stood with his dad as witness and best man. Henry couldn't help the grin that crossed his face. His family was getting bigger every day.
Just as his grandfather finished making a rather mushy speech about the power of love, Emma arrived. She snuck up out of the shadows. Henry saw her before his father did, and, in the same moment that his grandfather kissed his new grandmother, Emma slid her hand into Neal's. Neal jumped in shock at the touch and then gaped a bit when he looked at her. Emma had a hesitant smile on her face. "Hey," she whispered.
"Hey," Neal breathed out.
Emma watched Rumpelstiltskin walk his new bride down the aisle. "You know, we never got that coffee."
Neal looked both confused and pained. "I don't think Killian would approve."
"I don't care," Emma said.
"I thought—"
"He was right," Emma cut in before he could say anything else. "Killian, when he said I should give loving him a second chance." She bit her lip and looked down at their hands. "He was just wrong about who I should try to love again."
"Emma," Neal started.
"I'm not promising anything," Emma said quickly. "But..." She looked up shyly. "Maybe we could go talk?"
Relief, happiness, longing, and so much love crossed Neal's face; it all converged into a smile the likes of which Henry had never seen on his father's face. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, let's talk."
The artic light slowly filled his vision; it broke the spell the experience had placed upon him. All the joy Henry had felt only moments ago disappeared as he realized that the scene was not real. The light embraced him. "There will always be life and death," the voice said. It was a voice he now recognized.
The light began to fade around him. It formed into real arms that pulled him against a real body. The warm of physical touch sank into the dark numbness in his soul and drew him back into the real world. He slowly looked up into Evangeline's eyes. The Wishing Star looked down at him; there was a sad smile on her pale face. "Imagination, hopes, and dreams," she said. "And the reality we forge with the choices we make every day."
Henry blinked a few times as that reality settled in around him. He was lying against her; his back to her chest and resting in her arms as if she had just pulled him from a cold lake. The night sky was bright overhead. There were trees and the sounds of the forest all around them.
The wild magic was nowhere to be found.
Henry took a deep breath. There was no vapor to choke him. He released the breath slowly and returned his gaze to the Wishing Star.
"Welcome back," Evangeline said softly.
Henry tried to smile and tried to speak, but a sudden realization stopped him. The reality of what had just happened—of what his wishes had made happen—filled his soul. Shock set in; followed by fear and a return of the deep pain he had been feeling before Evangeline interfered. The tears began to fall fresh and new as he whispered, "What have I done?"