A/N; Okay so one of you guys asked ever so nicely for a hurt/angst/or nightmarish Dean so for you dear reader ( Iuliana ) I give you what you asked for just because your reviews have been awesome and extremely supportive, so thank you. Hope you other guys feels this ties in and gives you a small background of just what horrors little Dean went through. But I wish to add that after the horrific abuse case that has been in the English press recently of Baby P that this story does not condone abuse of any nature. For those of you who are not aware this little boy was 17 months old when he was killed by his family. I won't go into details of this poor child's injuries as they are too horrific to repeat, but please think of him in your prayers. It maybe a little graphic for some so please use caution.
When Dean awoke it was to find himself in a house that was strange yet familiar, he looked to the crib that had been opposite his bed the night before to find the crib had gone and he was alone, he frowned confused as to where his baby brother was,
" Sammy ? Sammy where are you ? " he called, he was met by silence, climbing out of his bed he was relieved to find it dry and went in search of his brother.
As he left his room his heart began to hammer in his chest, the familiarity of the house was becoming clearer. He was back at Mabel and Joes
" Daddy ? Mommy where are you ? " he called out, a shadow fell over him Dean looked up expecting to see John
" Hello Deano, long time no see " Joe smiled wickedly, Dean stumbled backwards shaking his head,
" No, no, no, you're not real my daddy he sent you away, he sent you away "
" I'm never far from you Dean " Joe replied advancing on the terrified child " I'm part of you just like you're part of me, and when you grow up you'll be just like me "
" No I'm going to be like my daddy !!! " the slap sent the terrified five year old tumbling backwards
" I am your daddy you ungrateful little shit " he grabbed him forcefully by the arm and dragged him up so he was mere inches from his face, Dean could smell his putrid breath it was making him feel sick " I'm your father " he said again shaking him
" No am a Winchester now, not……..not yours "
" A Winchester are you ? " he sneered " You're nothing but a snivelling little bastard is what you are and you will always be mine "
" NO, NO, NO !! " he screamed, a hand was shaking him he struck out fighting with all the strength that a five year old could
" Dean, Dean its okay son I've gotcha you're safe son " Deans eyes snapped open at first all he saw was Joe staring down at him
" NO !! " he screamed " Daddy, daddy help me, help me " he sobbed
" I'm here son, I'm here. Come on now come back to me " Deans vision seemed to clear and it was John he saw now , he collapsed into the arms of his father his small body quaking with the sobs that tore through him. He gripped tight to John not daring to let go
" He was here daddy, Joe was here he said I wasn't a Winchester, he said I was his and he was never going to let me go " John cradled his son into him
" He wasn't here Dean it was just a bad dream is all, just a bad dream. He's gone they both are I won't let anyone hurt you ever again I promise " John said as he soothed the sweat soaked bangs from his sons terrified face. Elizabeth came in the room to ask John if he wanted a coffee
" John is everything okay ? " she asked concerned taking in the scene before her, John nodded briefly
" It will be. He's had another bad dream, they seem to be getting worse "
" Hey Dean " she said softly " You okay honey ? " Dean whimpered and buried himself further into Johns arms
" Its okay son its just Lizzie, he's not here I promise you, he's not here " Elizabeth looked confused for a moment
" Who's not here John ? "
" His real father " he whispered " He was an ass hole , wish I could get rid of the prick again for what he's done to him "
" Dean honey, its just daddy, mommy, Bobby and me here you're safe " something in Dean seemed to snap, he shot from Johns arms over to the crib to find it empty
" Sammy ?! Sammy, where's Sammy ? " he ran from the room screaming his brothers name " They solded him, they solded mine Sammy !! I want my Sammy " he fell to his knees sobbing his breaths coming in uneven gasps. His small face red from all the crying and emotion. John ran from the room trying to console and reassure him that Sammy was safe and was eating his breakfast with Mary
" Oh dear heavens " Elizabeth gasped " I'll go get Bobby " she ran down the stairs to find Bobby on his way up
" What in the sam hill is going on ? " he asked
" Its Dean he's hysterical " Bobby nodded and headed back down the stairs and retrieved his medical kit, he extracted a small syringe filled with a mild sedative and ran back up to Dean and John. The five year old was heaving trying to get his breathing under control, John was trying unsuccessfully trying to calm his son down,
" Hold him still for me John " Bobby said as he plunged the sedative into the five year olds arm, the sedative seemed to take effect immediately, Deans eyes fluttered shut and he finally relaxed into Johns chest, his breathing settling.
" What in the hell was that about ? " Bobby asked scrubbing a hand over his face, John gave a shaky smile
" Nightmare, they're getting worse. He thought I was Joe when he first woke up "
" I thought he was past that " Bobby said " Maybe there's something else going on here "
" Such as ? " John asked raising a brow
" Did you salt and burn the bodies John ? "
" What ? No why would I do that ? "
" Because they were evil sons of bitches alive and they died a violent death. Its easy for one of um to attach themselves to Dean and attack him through his dreams "
" Oh my God. Do you think that's what's going on ? " Elizabeth asked
" Well that's worse case scenario, it could just be after everything that's happened these past few weeks its all been a bit much and its coming out in his dreams "
" How do we find out ? " John asked pulling his boy in closer " And what do we do ? "
" Well if its just dreams not much we can do apart from be there for him when he wakes up, if it's a spirit "
" Yeah, if it's a spirit what ? Come on Bobby get there will ya " John groused
" Well if yered let me finish " Bobby snapped out " If its a spirit we'll need to salt and burn the remains, but he needs someone inside his dreams to help him defeat his monsters "
" And how do we do that ? "
" I know a way " Elizabeth replied " Its like hypnosis, but it needs someone he trusts, someone he'd willingly go to "
" Well that's easy, that's got to be me or Mary, he trust us both "
" I'll need some herbs to burn that'll help with the process, you need to sort out with Mary who'll go in to his dreams to protect him ",
" First before we do anything like that we need to find out just what exactly is going on with him and if it even is a spirit " Bobby said. They went downstairs John with Dean pulled lose to his chest
" Is he okay ? " Mary asked concerned, she had Sammy perched on her hip
" Another nightmare, Bobby thinks he maybe being attacked in his dreams by Joe "
" What ? Why would he do that ? " Mary asked
" Because he was a sick son of a bitch Mary, why did he do what he did when Dean and Sammy lived with them ? "
" Oh. Of course. How do we protect him from that though ? "
" Well your mom knows a way for one of us to go into his dreams and protect him. We just have to decide which one of us goes "
" I think it should be you John, he trusts you "
" He trusts you as well Mary "
" I know he does " she smiled " But, well, you can do what's necessary. I'm not that strong John. He needs a protector now not just someone who loves him and you're the best person for that job "
" You sure ? Not to open wounds here Mare but can you handle it ? " Mary swallowed and nodded her head
" I can handle it, I should have supported you all the time on this John "
" Okay then. So Lizzie how do we do this exactly ? " Elizabeth sat down at the table and placed her delicate fingers underneath her chin, her blue eyes gazing at something only she could see
" The first thing to do would be a simple spell to determine if Dean is being attacked in his sleep. A basic aura revealing spell would be perfect, its easy enough to do, all I need is some sage to burn and a relaxing and quiet area to work in ",
" How soon before you can do it ? " Mary asked watching the sleeping five year old, he was whimpering and shifting restlessly in his sleep,
" If I had some sage I could do it now "
" You got any of this sage stuff Bobby ? " John asked gently rocking Dean and whispering words of comfort into his ear. Bobby walked to a small storage cabinet and pulled out a small bundle of what looked like dried weeds,
" Thought I had some from the last cleansing I did. If you're going to go in his dream John I'm going to need the exact location of where yer buried the bodies so I can get rid of um "
" I'll mark it on a map "
" You remember ? " Elizabeth asked surprised, John grinned and tapped his head
" Like a steel trap, I don't forget anything. Was part of my training "
" Ah yes. You were a marine right ? "
" Yeah I was, did a lot of other training as well that I can't really discuss. But if it helps now well that's all I care about. I'll make sure my family are safe and to me that's all that matters " Elizabeth smiled fondly at him, at the fire that was burning bright in his dark eyes
" I like that John, you're a good man and that fighting spirit you've got will take you and your family far " John looked surprised at Elizabeth's words,
" So you don't think I'm a murderer then ? Or that your daughter isn't safe with me ? "
" On the contrary. I think my daughter is with the very best she could have chosen, in fact if I was a few years younger she'd have a fight on her hands "
" MOM !! " Mary exclaimed, but couldn't suppress the grin that split her face especially when John went a brilliant shade of red.
" Oh. Right. Well…." he cleared his throat " Where do you want to do this ? " Elizabeth smirked and looked to Bobby who shook his head but was grinning non the less
" The boys room will be fine, that way you can lay him on the bed and he can be comfortable " John nodded and carried Dean back upstairs to his and Sammy's room, he lay the five year old on the bed and pulled the blanket over him kissing him gently on his forehead,
" Will this hurt him ? "
" No, its harmless he won't feel a thing. I might be the only one to see his aura so don't panic if you can't see it okay its normal. Just relax. If this goes the way I think it will then we'll have your boy back to normal in no time and dreaming of things that little boys should be dreaming of " she placed a comforting hand on Johns arm and gave him a reassuring smile. He sat down on the rocking chair and watched as Elizabeth lit the sage and began to murmur quietly. She waved the sage stick all around Dean and whispered words that John couldn't hear, at first he saw nothing, then a golden glow seemed to surround the sleeping child, but it was fragmented with black swirls and crackles of what looked like red lightening.
" What the hell is that ? " John asked in shock, Elizabeth looked to him in surprise
" You can see it ? " she asked " You can see his aura ? "
" Is that what it is ? His aura ? What's the black and the red ? , that don't look normal "
" They aren't, its like Bobby surmised, your boy is being messed with. Can I ask you something ? " she said as she stubbed out the smouldering stick,
" Sure you can "
" Are you psychic ? Or has anyone in your family ever had psychic abilities ? "
" Well, my grandmother was psychic. She came from a long line of Romany gypsies . They fled from their homeland in 1943 after Germany invaded and was slaughtering the gypsies left right and centre. She always said I was special but I figured she just said that cause I was her only grandchild "
" Have you ever had a vision ? Or known when something was going to happen but not exactly what ? "
" I don't know. Maybe. Never really thought about it why ? "
" Its usually only powerful psychics that can see an aura which is why I told you not to worry if you didn't see anything " John scrubbed the back of his neck nervously
" Oh, right. Well I don't know to be honest just kinda thought I was a lucky guy ". Elizabeth grinned at him openly
" You know, I could teach you to use your gifts, they could come in useful for the future "
" I don't know. Think we got enough on our plates without me going all Obi Wan Kenobi. He's going to be okay isn't he ? " he asked as he smoothed the frown lines from Deans face
" What does your heart tell you ? "
" Come on. Get serious, I mean really, my heart ? " she rolled her eyes
" Sorry forgot you were a bad ass marine. Okay then what does your gut tell you ? " John closed his eyes and left his hand on Deans hair,
" It tells me, we got a rocky road but he's going to be okay. And that maybe Mary and I should have adopted girls instead " he grinned, she smiled at that
" Oh I don't doubt he's going to be trouble, but you just need to be patient with him. He'll have good days and bad but he's worth it. They both are " John did smile at that, Elizabeth was treated to a full dimpled smile which she felt herself melting at
" Oh I know it " he grinned " Come on lets go tell Bobby he's gotta get his ass on the road, that should please him ", leaving the door open slightly so they could hear if Dean was to call out they went downstairs to inform the others of their findings.
After being filled in Bobby left with an X marks the spot of where John had buried the bodies of Joe and Mabel. The remaining Winchesters and Elizabeth sat at the table eating breakfast and waiting for Dean to wake up from the sedative. Although they'd heard slight whimpers nothing more had been heard from the five year olds room. He woke up two hours later and came into the kitchen rubbing his eyes with one fist. He climbed onto Mary's lap and snuggled into his mother, Mary smiled down at the blonde head, he placed his thumb in his mouth and wound his fingers into her long blonde hair.
" You okay baby ? " she asked running her fingers through his locks
" Mmm Hmm. Mine arm hurts mommy " he said lifting his face so he could look at her
" Lets have a look huh " she lifted his pyjama sleeve to find a large hand sized bruise and raised questioning eyes to John,
" Where'd you get this baby ? " she asked
" Joe did it mommy "
" When ? When did he do this to you ? " she asked fear lacing her voice, if Dean could receive bruises from his dreams then what else could happen to him,
" When he camed and I couldn't find daddy. I trieded real hard mommy but I couldn't find him anywhere's "
" Well don't you worry champ, next time he comes I'll be right there and I'll kick his ass if he touches you again " John said, Dean grinned
" John, don't say ass in front of the boys " Mary admonished, John looked suitably chastised and gave a nervous apologetic smile
" Sorry Mare. But what I mean to say son is that I won't let anyone hurt you ever again "
" Promise ? " Dean asked
" I promise kiddo, that ass….err that idiot won't lay another finger on you " Dean nodded
" I tolded him that daddy, but he didn't believe me ",
" Well guess the jerks in for a big surprise, huh kid ? " Dean grinned widely
" Damn straight ".
Sammy took the opportunity in the lull in conversation to grab his brothers attention,
" De, De Ammy fed selp " he stated proudly, Dean shook his head at his baby brother who seemed to be wearing the scrambled egg Mary had made him on his hands and face, he climbed onto the table and sat opposite his baby brother
" Sammy, your suppose to eat it not wear it, I'll help you " he lifted some egg onto a spoon and fed his brother who relished the attention his big brother was giving him.
After the rest of the family had eaten and Dean washed his and Sammy's hands and faces they went into town so that Elizabeth could get the herbs that she'd need for that nights activities. The day seemed to melt away and Mary tried her hardest to make it as stress free as she could for Dean knowing that the night would be hard on him. Elizabeth had warned John that he should prepare himself as he may see some disturbing images when he went into Dean's dreams, they weren't exactly sure if Joe was making him relive past experiences or if he was putting the child through a whole new level of abuse.
Bath time saw Mary wetter than the boys who were actually in the bath, Sammy finding his new game of splash mommy hilarious, after a warm glass of milk it was time for bed, Sammy went to sleep almost instantly but Dean was most reluctant to go and it was only after a crying fit that he drifted to sleep through exhaustion.
Elizabeth had prepared the herbs earlier and snuck some into Deans milk to try and make it taste that bit better for the five year old, John was not so lucky and the disgust showed on his face as he drank the fluid down
" What the hell is in that ? " he asked as he laid down next to Dean pulling his son into his side,
" Just herbs, nothing to worry about , now just relax. Close your eyes " John did as he was told but his eyes snapped open when he felt Elizabeth placing some marks on his temples,
" Close your eyes John, trust me " he nodded and closed his eyes again " Its just to aid in the transition process is all "
" Okay " he said , she placed one more symbol on his forehead and then moved onto Dean
" Okay John, I want you to breathe deeply and think of Dean and you together, think only of Dean " John felt himself floating on a warm breeze, Elizabeth's words were calming and melodic, he felt like she was surrounding him like a comforting blanket. Although he felt calm John didn't feel any different or even as if he had fallen asleep,
" Lizzie I don't think this is going to work " there was no reply " Lizzie ? " he opened his eyes to find he was in dark room. There was no light anywhere, he felt around trying to work out how large or small the room actually was or to try and find a light switch when he came into contact with something small. A yelp came from the hunched over form,
" Dean ? Dean son is that you ? "
" Daddy ? " it came as a whisper
" Yeah kiddo its me "
" Daddy !! " John found himself bowled over as the child leapt into his arms. Dean felt smaller and a lot skinnier,
" Dean where are we son ? "
" In the bad boy place "
" Why are we here ? "
" Cause I'm bad " came the quiet reply,
" Dean, You're not bad son. You're a good boy, me and your mommy think so "
" You do ? " Dean asked surprised
" We do. And so do Lizzie and Bobby, and Sammy well he thinks you're the best big brother that a kid brother could have. Now how about we get out of here huh? "
" NO Daddy !! " he shouted clinging to John " Joe will come and hurt us "
" No he won't son and if he tries to hurt us, I'll hurt him, okay ? "
" Okay " he said quietly, John stood pulling Dean up with him still held tightly in his arms, he drew his foot back after feeling out the door and let it fly. The door gave way and seemed to explode outwards, John shielded Deans face from the flying shards.
" Come on son, lets get out of here " John moved out of the cupboard and looked to his son, he gasped in shock at the grey pallor that was on Deans skin, a dark bruise covering his right eye and large hand marks around his throat. The child in his arms looked a lot younger than he was used to seeing, he looked closer to three than five, his clothes hung loosely about his small frame and he was clutching his left arm protectively to his chest where his wrist was full of a vivid purple and yellow bruise, the small wrist looked swollen also.
" Son who did this to you ? " John asked trying to hold his temper in
" Joe did daddy, he said I was greedy for eating all the bread "
" Did he give you the bread to eat ? ", Dean wouldn't meet his eyes, John lifted his chin gently so he was looking into Deans expressive green eyes.
" Dean, son ? Did he give you the bread to eat ? " Deans eyes filled with tears as he nodded his head slowly, a lone tear fell slowly down his cheek
" But he didn't say I could eat it all "
" Its not your fault son, Its Joe's fault for being a dick. If he didn't want you to eat all the bread then why did he give it to you ? " the small boy seemed to think this over and he looked to John with a frown
" You're right daddy, he is a dick " John laughed even though the situation was serious
" That's my boy " he said ruffling his hair, the light hearted moment was broken by an obviously drunk Joe who came stumbling down the hallway,
" BOY !!! What the hell you doing outta that cupboard ? " John felt Dean began to tremble so he stood to his full height and placed Dean on his feet placing him securely behind his legs, Joe looked up with drunken eyes to John
" Who the fuck are you ? " he slurred
" I'm Deans father " he said folding his arms over his expansive chest,
" No you're not, I'm the little shits father. Not get here " he went to grab Deans arm but was met by a vice like grip on his arm,
" Don't you touch my boy " John growled out into the shocked mans face. He twisted the arm until he heard an audible snap and Joe cried out in pain. John smirked into his face.
" This aint over Deano, you're precious daddy won't be here every time to protect you " he spat out, Dean raised terrified eyes to the drunken man
" Oh I will be " John snarled " Surprised you don't remember me " Joe looked confused for a moment until John made his hand into a gun shape and raised it between Joe's eyes and cocked his finger as if it had been fired. Joe's eyes widened in recognition
" You ?!! " he said stumbling back from John " You killed me, killed my Mabel "
" Yeah, I did. And I told you no-one fucks with my family " John took a menacing step towards the man who had hurt his son, but Joe seemed to melt away before their eyes,
" Has he gone ? " a trembling voice asked, John took in his surroundings, sweeping his eyes around the hallway assessing for danger.
" I think so, now we just gotta wait for Bobby to do his part ". Dean opened his mouth to question, wondering what John meant when he felt himself being dragged backwards,
" Daddy !! " he yelled, John span around to see Dean being pulled backwards by a sneering Joe
" You maybe a bad ass out there, but in here, this is my world, which means my rules " he laughed as he pulled a terrified Dean into a room with him and slammed the door shut before John could get there in time.
" Dean ?! Dean ?! " he bellowed as he hammered on the door, he could hear Deans pain filled cries through the door and he began to throw his body against it trying to brake it down. It was after a pain filled scream that made John snap that the door gave way, it splintered open under the force with which John hit it, his eyes blazing with an unholy fury. The sight that greeted him however made his stomach churn, Dean was crouched in a corner nursing the fingers on his right hand where Joe had broken them and the man was now striking out at him with a length of bamboo.
John roared loudly and charged the man who was hitting his son, he tackled him to the ground and in one swift movement broke his neck. He threw the body away from him and moved towards Dean who was cowered trying to shield himself from any further blows and whimpering. It was the whimpering that broke Johns heart all over again, he reached out for him but a strangled cry tore from Deans throat and he let his hand drop,
" Dean son, its okay its just daddy, he's gone son, he's gone " tears were in Johns eyes and he didn't care that they were leaving trails on his stubbled cheeks,
" I'm sorry Dean I let you down, I made you a promise to you and I failed to protect you, I'm so sorry " he slid down the wall further from his crouched position so he was sat on his butt, his face tilted to the ceiling, Dean looked up and could see the tears on his fathers face he shuffled closer to him and reached out shakily with his left hand,
" Daddy ? Whys you crying ? " he asked with a trembling voice
" Because I let you down champ, because I made a promise and I didn't keep it. And because of that you got hurt, and when you hurt, I hurt "
" Its okay daddy, you didn't hurt me "
" I know son, but I still let you down "
" Am sorry " Dean said quietly, John gave a confused frown
" What have you got be sorry for champ ? " John asked as he took his boy gently into his arms, being careful to not frighten him further, Dean snuggled into the warmth and safety that was Johns arms
" For making you feel sad "
" You got nothing to be sorry for Dean, nothing at all " he said with a fierce conviction " It wasn't you who made me sad, you make me happy, it was what was done to you and you got no control over that yet cause your still a kid. My kid and I swear to God Dean not he or anyone else will lay a finger on you ever again, okay ? "
" 'Kay "
" Let me have a look at your fingers " John said gently taking the broken appendages into his large hand, Dean let John take them looking at his father with utmost trust shining on his face, John brought them to his mouth and kissed them,
" Magic kisses sport, makes everything better, your mom taught me that "
" Does it ? " he asked
" Sure, check um out " he said showing Dean his now healed fingers, if Joe could manipulate the dream then so could he and if that manipulation helped his son then he'd do it, he do what ever it took.
The room suddenly began to shake and fill with anguished cries John held Dean to him tightly,
" He won't get you again son, if I have to break into hell itself to kill him again so he can't I will, he won't touch you ever again " Dean clung to John feeling safe and protected the air was warm it felt like it was burning Dean chanced a glance at his former father who was screaming and trying to get to him suddenly Joe froze his body burst into flame and he screamed once more before he was reduced to ash. The air cleared around them feeling lighter and free. John turned to Dean a smile on his face
" Bobby toasted his ass good and fine, he can't bother you again son. Now how about some ice-cream ? " he asked as the house around them melted away and they were sat in an ice-cream parlour
" I want chocolate " Dean said in excitement, it was as if his nightmare had never happened. Dean was now fresh faced all his bruises gone. He was no longer the small skinny three year old but was back to how John knew him now, back to his five year old self, with sparkling eyes and a bright smile. John breathed a contented smile and relaxed back into the boothed seat, happy to spend some fear free time with his boy.
When John awoke it was to find Dean telling Elizabeth, Mary and Sammy how he and his daddy had had ice-cream.
" Did daddy help you baby ? " Mary asked, the five year old nodded
" And Bobby " he said
" Bobby ? How did Bobby help ? " she asked confused
" He toasted Joe's ass, didn't he daddy ? " Dean said with all seriousness, Mary gave John a look which he knew meant he would be in trouble later
" Did he now ? " she asked
" Uh huh, and daddy made mine fingers better when Joe hurted them, and he told Joe he'd kick his ass if he toucheded me again. Didn't you daddy ? "
" I did " John grinned
" Well that's good, now he knows not to mess with a Winchester " Dean nodded
" Daddy will always help won't he ? "
" Of course he will Dean " Elizabeth said " He's your daddy " Dean looked to John with awe as if just now realising what a precious gift he had
" Yeah, my daddy " he said giving John a quick hug. They knew that he would still have nightmares after the level of abuse he had suffered at the hands of Joe and Mabel, but now they would only be dreams and those they could handle. All they had to worry about now was Daniel, they knew that that fight was one that would be the most difficult. But together as a family they could face anything.
A/N; Blimey thought this chapter would never end!!!!! It took ages to write up..lol…hope it was okay and not too graphic. As always leave a review, depending on where the next chapter goes there is only either going to be either one more or possibly two chapters left. Would you guys like another in this series or something new ? Let me know xxxxxx