Well here we go, another chapter is up! I'm really quite nervous about this one for some reason. I don't know why. Please don't hate me!
Yes, I know. It's been like 2 months. I'm so very, very so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. There are 2 reasons for this. 1, writer's block. 2, my relationship.
I literally haven't been able to write for weeks due to a major writer's block. There was just no inspiration flowing whatsoever. Also, this incredibly sweet guy I've been crushing on for ages asked me out and we've been dating for a little while and that's been taking up most of my writing time. But anyways, you guys don't want to hear about my about my life...
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed followed and added this story to their favourites. You guys are what keep me going.
All I have to say in reply to the reviews is I'm so incredibly sorry, please forgive me! I know you guys were all so excited now that Gray and Lucy are a couple and you all really wanted to know who it was that found him cutting. I'm so so so sorry! The new chapter is here and I hope you enjoy it. :)

Chapter 13: Clarity.

Gray's POV

"Gray?"

The familiar female voice was all too clear in the silence that came along after all our friends had fallen asleep.

I felt the knife in my hand slip, falling haphazardly through the air before clattering to the ground loudly and narrowly missing my feet, although I was in too much shock to care. The sound was enough to make the lone figure behind me flinch as she realised what I was doing to myself.

By now she must have seen the blood trickling down my leg.

But why was she over here in the boy's side? Her of all people. She was not someone who woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep. Over all the years that we've known each other, she has always been a deep sleeper.

"Juvia." That was all I could manage to say as I was still in a state of shock that she had been the one to find me like this.

How was she going to react?

I was pretty damn sure that she despised me. After all, she'd made that pretty clear back in middle school when she had screamed at me over mine and Lucy's friendship.

I closed my eyes, clenching my fists by my side as I turned around to face her.

I found it so difficult to open my eyes back up again. I didn't want to see the hatred she harboured for me in her cobalt eyes. I'm sick of feeling hated and unwanted. I didn't want to see her expression of mocking anymore than I wanted Lucy to remain in her memory challenged state. Yet I opened my eyes to meet hers.

I knew I was shaking when I looked down into her deep blue eyes. I couldn't help it. I didn't want to suffer under her judgement. I didn't want to hear her taunting.

The blue haired woman was clad in a tiny blue shorts and black t-shirt that was way too big for her. I assumed it was my brothers. Her hand rested just in front of her mouth. She seemed unsure of what exactly to do.

Her mouth was set in a firm line, not happy, yet not upset either. She stared at me, watching the blood drip down my legs and trying to read the emotions in my eyes. For my sake I seriously hoped that she couldn't tell how absolutely terrified of her I was.

"Gray..." She started again, moving her hand away from her lips as she took a single step towards me, "You're such an idiot."

The bluenette narrowed her eyebrows at me and the corners of her mouth twisted downwards into a disapproving scowl.

Well here we go. The ridicule was about to begin.

"Juvia..." I started but she cut me off by holding her hand up, indicating that I should stop talking.

She placed a hand on her waist before cocking her hip to the side. She leered at me, growing more and more intimidating by the minute, despite the fact that she was dressed in her pyjamas and her wavy locks were tousled into a bed head.

I could feel myself starting to sweat. Droplets of salty liquid were beading across my forehead. That's just how nervous I was under the intensity of her cobalt gaze.

"You have a lot of people who care about you and want you to get better yet you're still hurting yourself. Why the do you think we all came out here? Despite what happened in the past, Lyon and I still came to visit you in the hospital, we partied at your house to celebrate your release and now everyone is finally back together and you're doing something like this. Ultimately, after much persuasion from Cana and Laxus, we decided that what happened to Ur, and what happened between us in middle school, none of it was your fault. We just wanted everything to go back to the way it used to be. We wanted to see you smile again. Gray, Lyon and I... We really do care about you."

I was stunned to say the least. Juvia, who had hated me for years, my brother, you had resented me for the death of our mother figure, they really did seem to care after all.

"T-thank you...Juvia." I mumbled quietly, to which she responded with a quick nod.

"Don't even worry about it. Now, we have to hurry up and patch those wounds of yours before they make a mess on the floor." She turned towards one of the many cupboards within the kitchen whilst I bent down to pick up the bloodied knife on the floor.

The bluenette searched through the cupboards until she found what she was looking for.

After I had washed and dried the sharp, silver piece of cutlery, she instructed me to sit down in the dining room so she could bandage my leg.

As she wrapped the white fabric over the fresh cuts, she spoke up, "You know, it's not really any of my business, but even though you and Lucy are dating now, I'm assuming that you don't want me to tell her about this?"

My lips parted slightly in thought. I wasn't sure I should go around telling Lucy about this. She was always worried about me and I hated seeing her so upset over my stupid self destruction.

I didn't have a chance to reply though since Juvia had already finished bandaging my leg and was now heading towards the doorway leading back to the girl's room.

Right as she was about to exit, the blue haired woman turned to me, "Take care of her Gray, she truly cares for you and would do pretty much anything to make you happy. Remember that." And with that, she left, closing the door behind her before I could even process what had just happened.

Lucy's POV

I couldn't stop.

I couldn't stop this flood of emotion and tears.

Some time during the middle of the night I had woken up thirsty and gotten up to fetch myself a glass of water.

It was at this time that I heard a quiet conversation on the guy's side of the room between two people, a man and a woman.

The woman's voice belonged to Juvia so I assumed that she was talking to Lyon at first. But for some reason something felt off.

I found myself creeping closer to the door separating the guys and girl's rooms.

"Juvia." The was all the man said.

But that was all I needed. One word and I instantly knew who was on the other side of the door.

Gray...

I had listened in on their conversation, uncaring about respect and privacy. I was curious as to what he could possibly be talking about with his brother's girlfriend.

What I had heard shocked me.

I crept through the doorway and peered around the corner to take in a horrific sight.

The blue haired woman stood with her hands clenched by her sides, her head down and her hourglass frame trembling. Whereas Gray stood opposite her, blood trickling down his legs, his cobalt orbs wide and mouth hanging open.

I dashed across through the open space to hide behind a wall on the other side of the room. This way, when Juvia left, I wouldn't be discovered.

I'd heard and seen enough to know what was going on.

Gray had cut himself once again; Juvia had stumbled upon the scene and lectured him about how much everyone cares for him. Gray was in shock because he honestly didn't think that was possible.

I wasn't the one to help him this time.

So now I'm lying in his bed, crying my eyes out as I wait for the raven haired man to return.

Whilst I sobbed and waited, I began to notice things about the boys' side of the room.

Where the girl's beds were all jammed into the one room, the boys beds were all separated by a series of walls, making it so their room resembled a maze.

For that, I was glad.

This meant that people like Bickslow and Laxus wouldn't tease me about being in Gray's bed at such a late hour of the night.

It didn't however help my seemingly endless stream of tears that were flowing from my eyes.

I pulled the covers up to my chin, wrapping myself in the warmth that resided there.

Gray had obviously been sleeping here very recently as it was still warm. Even though we hadn't been here long, the sheets had already begun to smell like him.

He smelt like sea spray and apples. An odd combination that was strangely enticing. The scent, strangely enough, made me miss him, despite the fact that he wasn't really that far away.

He was only in the kitchen; I could easily get up and walk to him.

But I really didn't want to get up out of his bed. Getting up meant leaving behind his scent and for a few mere moments I would be completely devoid of anything that connected me to him.

So I had no choice but to lie here and wait whilst silently crying into his pillow.

Why was I even crying?

Because he'd hurt himself again. Someone who was dear to me was hurting themselves which in turn made my heart ache painfully.

This overwhelming sorrow was almost enough to make me understand how Gray was able to take a blade to his skin.

I suppose when everything goes to shit in your life it's like you have no other way out. The anguish and sorrow of life becomes too much that everything seems to blur and becomes numb. And when you're so very numb and empty inside you'd give almost anything to feel again.

Maybe that's how it works. Maybe that's what goes on in Gray's mind when he –

"Lucy?"

I jolted suddenly, making a strange, high-pitched noise that vaguely resembled a squeal. Gray was back, standing over his bed and staring down at me with a slightly worried look in his eyes.

"Lucy?" He repeated, bending down to brush golden strand out of my eyes, most likely so he could see me properly.

He must have noticed my tears because his mouth formed a small 'o' before setting into a frown of sadness.

The raven haired man pulled the covers away from my body and climbed into bed with me before pulling them back to cover the two of us.

He pulled my close so that my body was pressed firmly against him before wiping the tears from my eyes and smoothing my hair back gently.

I buried my face into his chest and he just held me tight for what seemed like an eternity.

When I had finally calmed down enough, I pulled away so I could look him in the eyes.

My voice trembled as I spoke but gradually I managed to get the words out, "G-Gray... Y-You did it ag-g-gain..."

It took a while for my words to sink in, for him to really understand what I was trying to say.

"Did you hear the conversation between Juvia and I?" He asked as his eyes glazed slightly, indicating that he was thinking deeply about the situation.

My only reply was a single nod.

"I see..." was all he said before giving off a very loud, tired-of-life, sigh.

We lay there for a while, not saying anything. Simply being.

I have no record of the precise amount of time that we spent like this, wrapped up under the sheets, holding each other. And whilst the initial moment was sad, it was still nice to be like this with him.

To feel warm and safe in his arms, to listen to his rhythmic sound of his heart and feel his cool breath on my cheek. It was pleasant and by far the most relaxed I've felt in a long time, despite the explosion of tears beforehand.

But of course I wasn't about to let go of what he had done to himself. I wanted him to tell me why, to trust me and be honest with me.

"Gray," I whispered, "Why?"

"Hmm? Why? Do you mean why did I cut myself again?" He asked, trying to be casual about it, although he was clearing uncomfortable with this discussion topic.

I nodded.

"Well I suppose I could blame it on the fact that I forgot to bring my meds with me on this trip but that's probably not right. I could list a whole lot of reasons. There are things that have happened to me in the past that changed me for the worst. But I don't know if I'm ready to go back over those things yet. And if I can't look back on them, then I'm sorry but I doubt that I could share them with someone else. Even if it's you of all people, Lucy, I just can't. I'm so sorry."

Although slightly disappointed, Gray's reasons for not wanting to share his painful past seemed valid. I didn't want to push him for answers or force him to share something he wasn't yet comfortable for ready to share so I opted for telling him: "Sure, that's fine. Maybe some other time." And giving him what I hoped was a sweet, reassuring smile.

"Thanks Luce. I appreciate it." He smiled back at me, a genuine smile that was so lovely I almost wanted to start crying again.

This was a rare occasion to find him smiling like this, it made me happy.

And just to prove how appreciative he really was, he tilted my head up and gazed lovingly into my chocolate orbs before swooping down and capturing my lips in a long, heart-felt kiss.

I was left, dazed and a little giddy by the end of it, but nevertheless I found myself falling asleep in his arms.

I knew I should probably go back to my own room for if I didn't I would probably wake up to another round of Laxus screaming about us having sex again, despite the pure innocence of this situation.

But I was simply too tired and too happy to be bothered leaving.

Besides, I liked it better here, pressed up against the chest of my boyfriend, encircling by his warm, tender embrace. It was so much better than lying back in the girls side where I would be cold and alone with Cana's snoring and Mirajane whispering gossip to keep everyone awake.

It's a bit weird, but it's only the first day and already I feel as if I'm falling.

Falling in love.

Read and Review please! I'll try to update more frequently ok? Just please don't hate me :)

L/W / Wonder-chan xx